“I do give really good Diva. On stage I Diva it to death.”
We were in the presence of a Goddess on Tuesday night, as Madam Acarti, Hils, History Boy, Our Sal and I were at our second theatrical event in a matter of days - for the imperial appearance of Dame Joan Collins live on stage in the suitably sumptuous Art Deco surroundings of the West End's Adelphi Theatre!
From an interview with the Grande Dame in The Standard:
MC-ed by her husband Percy Gibson, [Joan Collins: Behind the Shoulder Pads] opens with a film montage of everyone from Oprah Winfrey to Johnny Carson introducing her.“Then I come on, I say something witty, like ‘I’m Joan Collins’, and I launch into my life story, making it as amusing and interesting as I can, because everybody’s heard it a billion times.” After a break and a change into a new Amanda Wakeley or Jenny Packham gown there’s a Q&A with the audience. What’s the most surprising thing she’s been asked? “How do you put your false eyelashes on? And I said, I don’t wear false eyelashes any more. I don’t even wear mascara or eyeliner. They’ll ask about Dynasty, about the actors I worked with like John Gielgud, Nigel Hawthorne and Paul Newman. And they’ll often ask who was the best kisser.” And who was? “Paul Newman, of course!”
This offhand synopsis was, of course, her typically self-deprecating way of describing what was, in fact, a very illuminating and entertaining evening indeed.
With eight decades' worth of gossip in her portfolio we got little insights into everything in her long career, from RADA to the loathsome and predatory Daryl F. Zanuck and the "studio system", her friendships with the likes of Gene Kelly, Marlon Brando and Paul Newman, Elizabeth Taylor and Marilyn Monroe, the male co-stars she loathed (George Peppard and Tony Curtis got short shrift, and she obviously held no fondness for John Forsythe either), her marriages and children, the ups and downs of her screen career (from Queen of the Nile to The Opposite Sex, from Star Trek to Kingdom of the Ants, from The Stud to These Old Broads to American Horror Show) - with an obviously significant discussion of her absolute zenith as "Alexis" [Alexis Morrell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan] in Dynasty.
Throughout the whole thing, she was (typically) self-confident and totally unflappable, and she looked utterly gorgeous and youthful despite her venerable age (91).
A totally fascinating and uber-camp evening's entertainment. We were, and we remain, in absolute awe...
There will never be another Dame Joan Collins!