Harry and Meghan have graciously stepped up to take the place in the public’s hearts that was once reserved for Katie Price and Peter Andre.
The couple, who are sharing every detail of their tawdry, jewel-encrusted lives with the world, hope to be as beloved as the reality stars were in the years 2004 to 2009.
A friend of the couple said: “Nobody can ever forget how dazzlingly Katie and Peter burned during those glory years. Harry and Meghan are no exception.
“The romance began when they were camping in Botswana and Meghan said ‘This is just like "Katie & Peter: African Adventures".’ Harry’s heart lifted at her intimate knowledge of the couple the whole of Britain loved.
“They resolved to be just like them. Starring in "Suits" was Meghan’s Page 3, while dressing as Rommel was Harry’s "Mysterious Girl". Marrying was their "I’m A Celebrity". The Netflix show is their "Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter".
“We’ll see them living their glamorous celebrity lives, but also at home raising the girls, negotiating deals with "Hello!" and having screaming rows because Harry’s been texting the blonde from the Saturdays behind Meghan’s back.
“They plan to achieve complete media saturation until all anyone can think of is Harry and Meghan, Meghan and Harry, Harry and fucking Meghan. What a magical fairytale it’ll be until the split.”
Of course.