Diamante, neuroscience, ghosts, hurricanes, old broads, an Antiguan dandy and Maggie Thatcher

Me and DJ Connell

"The suggested dress-code is silver" was the message from Paul Burston, hostess with the mostest of "London's peerless gay literary salon" Polari, to celebrate in style the return for the Autumn/Winter Season of our favourite regular evening out. So I dragged out from the back of the wardrobe where it had languished since Gay Pride the dinner jacket that I lovingly customised in Art Deco diamanté style, and minced across with John-John to the Royal Festival Hall on the South Bank to do just that!



It was lovely to see everyone again - regulars such as John McCullough, Jayne Rogers, Val Lee, Chris Chalmers, Alex Hopkins, Helen Smith, Anny Knight, Suzi Feay and DJ Connell; not-so-regulars such as Ingo from Wotever World; and Paul's hubby Paulo and his dear mum (all the way from Brazil), Heidi.





Paul, of course, arrived in customary understated fashion in his silver winged cape to open proceedings and usher on the first of our readers for the evening.



Nick Field, an old fave of ours - and making quite a name for himself these days as a performance artist, with a gig at the Latitude Festival this summer - read for us a selection of his poems, all linked cleverly together on the theme of "neuroscience" (the rational scientific explanation for the feelings we experience when we are in love).

As always, food for thought, and excellently done!



Actress, performer, singer, opera librettist and author Lois Walden gave us a tour-de-force turn as she read (complete with all the voices) some segments from her latest acclaimed novel Afterworld, a decadent and Grand Guignol tale about the ghostly manifestation of the dead patriarch of a Deep South sugar plantation dynasty observing the self-destructive behaviour of his family - including a steamy scene of the son's exploits in a public toilet - to the backdrop of the looming devastation of Hurricane Katrina.

Here she is reading at another recent literary event - with the passage she read for us:

Lois Walden - Afterworld

The ever-lovely Susie Boyt (who I have discovered, to my surprise, is the daughter of the controversial artist Lucien Freud), closing the first segment of literary treats, read for us her fabulously camp short story Documentary at Clareville Lodge.



A poignant tale of the reminisces of two elderly former stars of the silver screen, her story was published in the anthology Once Upon a Time There Was a Traveller, a selection of writings by women authors, new and established. It was utterly superb, and left us laughing and contemplative in turn as we headed into the break.



Suitably refreshed with nicotine and a top-up of alcohol, we returned to our seats for a special announcement as Miss Suzi Feay took to the stage to announce the shortlist for the Polari First Book Prize 2013! The final candidates are:

• The Murder Wall – Mari Hannah
• Tony Hogan Bought Me An Icecream Float Before He Stole My Ma – Kerry Hudson
• The Sitar – Rebecca Idris
• Catching Bullets: Memoirs of a Bond Fan - Mark O’Connel
• The Tale of Raw Head and Bloody Bones – Jack Wolf

The winner of this year's prize will be announced at November's Polari - which will take place in the swanky and prestigious Purcell Room in the Queen Elizabeth Hall (normally home to recitals, chamber orchestras, jazz and World Music) - and the lucky author will receive £1000, donated by sponsor Societé Generale.

And so, on with the show...



Bernardine Evaristo's fascinating story Mr Loverman tells the tale of Barrington Jedidiah Walker, a 74-year-old Antiguan living a double life - married to the shrewish and fearsome Carmel, who constantly accuses him of "carrying-on" with other women, he is in fact in a long-term gay relationship with his best friend Morris. The conundrum for poor Barry is can he, after all these years, finally leave his "conventional" life and settle down with his one true love?

...Still here, thanks be to God. Still spruced up and sharp-suited with a rather manly swagger. Still six foot something with no sign of shrinkage yet. Still working a certain je ne sais whatsit. I might have lost the hair on my head, but I still got a finely clipped moustache in the style of old Hollywood romancers. Folk used to tell me I looked like a young Sidney Poitier. Now they say I resemble a (slightly) older Denzel Washington. Who am I to argue? The facts is the facts. Some of us have it, some of us do not. Bring it on Barry, bring it on.

From the brief extracts she read, this is a beautifully-written and absorbing story, and by the end we were all rooting for the plucky Barry...



Finally, our top-billed author (and host of his very own literary salon in swanky Soho House) Mr Damian Barr took to the lectern, to read for us some pieces from his opus Maggie and Me. An autobiographical recollection of the pain of growing up a weedy, abused, gay child in a recession-torn industrial Scottish town in the mid-80s, the piece he read took a more tender turn - his early "love" for his school chum, and their brief yet romantic attempt to run away from all that grimness to dabble their toes in the sea on a beach in Cornwall.

Touching, adorable and a fittingly satisfying climax to another marvellous evening!

Here is Mr Barr talking about the book:

Damien Barr - Maggie and Me, part 1

And here he is talking about the eponymous anti-heroine of the story, Maggie Thatcher:

Damien Barr - Maggie and Me, part 2

Applause, photoshoots and "working the room" over and done with, John-John and I headed back across the (by now, moonlit) Thames for a nightcap before winging our way home, our literary senses refreshed once more for another month.

Next month's Polari (on 22nd October) features a very welcome return appearance from the writer of some of our favourite films and telly series ever (Beautiful Thing, Gimme Gimme Gimme, Murder Most Horrid, Beautiful People) Mr Jonathan Harvey, plus Diriye Osman, Robyn Vinten and more.

Bring it on!

Polari website

Blowjobs, weddings, pole-dancing - and a lesson on how to write about them

John-John, Paul(ine), (MySpace) Tony and I trolled off to the Fifth Floor Function Room at the Royal Festival Hall, with its spectacular views of the London Eye, for the first of Paul Burston's "peerless literary gay salons" Polari of 2011. In an almost packed room, we spotted loads of regulars - Jeannie, Joe Storey-Scott and his regular table, Suzie Feay with Paul's hubby Paulo and many others including previous reader Helen Sandler who joined us at our table for the festivities.

Paul B opened proceedings through a murky cold, before introducing the first reader. A new Polari discovery, the as yet unpublished Paul Harding began the evening with a bang with his slightly smutty, attention-grabbing story about a couple in Greece, an (unfortunately made public) illicit blowjob in a club toilet, superstition about how an exchange of fluids between men defines "tribal ownership", and the mayhem that ensues. Good stuff - hope to hear more of this man in the future!



Journalist and political writer Mark Gevisser's [pic above] story of his same-sex wedding to his partner in modern South Africa was at once very funny and also revealing. The sea-change in attitudes to gay people post-apartheid appears in sharp contrast to the dreadful wave of evangelical homophobia that is currently criss-crossing the rest of that benighted continent - read Mark's recent article on that very subject. His account of the jolly registrar practically demanding that they make more fuss about their wedding, and her pride in the way she created the displays in the wedding room itself was wonderfully pertinent:

"When I said I did not think we would be doing rings, she really thought she had my number. She looked up at me, in counselling mode now: “Do you think you are a second-class citizen just because you are gay? You have full rights in this new South Africa. You have the right to make a fuss.” Here I was, an entirely empowered middle-class, middle-aged white man, being lectured by a young black woman about my rights." Read more

Mr Gevisser apparently touched upon a the experiences of a few people in the room - not least Paul Burston himself, who likened it to his own experience in Lambeth Town Hall...

Lowering the tone somewhat - to our delight - the ebullient Lauren Henderson aka Rebecca Chance took to the stage to read from her "bonk-buster" Divas, which, even from the brief extract she read, appears to be exactly what is says on the tin:

"...the story of a beautiful, spoilt heiress - Lola. A sexy pole dancer - Evie. And Carin, the evil stepmother with the cold blue eyes of a Siberian husky who does her best to ruin Lola and Evie's lives. When Carin takes everything the girls have, their only hope is to join forces and fight back to regain Lola's inheritance and Evie's diamond pasties. With an action-packed plot full of wild sex, glamorous locations, and murder... it will take you on the ride of your life!"

Hilarious stuff! We all agreed this would make a ridiculously camp and glossy TV series worthy of the legacy of Dynasty, Flamingo Road and Falcon Crest. We were overjoyed when the lady herself came and joined us at our table (John-John and Tony both bought copies for her to sign) - she is every bit as sassy and saucy as her novels! She promised us that on her next appearance she would read a particularly smutty piece from either Divas or its successor Bad Girls, involving (female) fists up (male) bottoms just for us - phew!! Visit Rebecca's website for reviews, extracts and more.

After a bit of an extended fag and booze break, we settled down again for esteemed author Lois Walden (who has worked with major artists such as Dionne Warwick and Jane Fonda, and was part of the singing group The Sisters of Glory), reading from her (almost) autobiographical novel One More Stop. The story, about a woman's passage through the American Mid-West following the suicide of her mother, towards a gradual acceptance of and celebration of her own lesbianism with the help of flings, encounters and friends, was charming and very entertaining indeed! Read more on Lois Walden's official website.



Our star-billing author of the night however was Green Carnation Prize winner Christopher Fowler, who not only took us through the journey that led to his winning novel and masterwork Paperboy - read my recent review of this fabulous book - and read a lengthy extract from it, but also gave us a little teaser about his planned follow-up book, and a bit of a lesson on how to be a successful writer to boot! In his words:

"Don’t write about what you know. Write about what you feel, what you imagine... Write about what you don’t know".

Sage words to bear in mind... Visit Christopher Fowler's website to see how brilliant a writer he really is!

And so soon, it was all over again for another month. Apparently there are one or two surprises in store for the next one - currently only "Michael Arditti, Nick Alexander, VG Lee and more" are mentioned - and I cannot wait!

Polari