Stonewall Street's Stuttering Flying Start - Rank and file #1 (323 pts)

And so into 2022. The sheer optimism of living in the modern world and living in a country that isn't run by a crime syndicate washes over me.

Ahem.

But I'm already one twelfth of the way through. And hey. It's World Cup year. That always brings joy and peace to jolly old England.

People have been telling me not to overdo things. Just ten minis a month. Slow and steady. But I happened to have the chance to get off to a good start, and I'm not the kind of person to roll over ten minis I painted this month onto future months as a safety net.

After much faffing about around whether I would just paint a few units off the workbench, I thought I would concentrate on a division of my dwarf army that had both visual cohesion and also looked like they might be hardened and experienced mercenaries.

I dug out a bunch of "puff and slash" dwarfs that had sat around for some time, some of them since the 90s in case of the Marauders and some more recent from the White Knight and Runecast Ranges, as well as a few from the old Harlequin range now available (if you're prepared to wait) from Black Tree design.

A few years ago I saw an article in one of the Wargames magazines about a mercenary unit called the "Black Band" that (I think) were from Saxony but fought for the French. I liked the combination of dark armour, red and black cloth. I made up my mind to make a unit of two- handed  swordsmen for my dwarf detachment, ignoring the fact that - as far as I am aware - the real Black Band were largely pikemen.

So I've painted the first eleven. Eleven may sound like a weird number but the unit will be 21 strong and fight in three ranks of seven. Odd numbers keep Blue happy. As do the black base rims.

So on to a sad story. About five years ago I painted half a unit of puff and slash crossbows. The plan at the time, due to the fact that I had acquired a few multipart White Knight models was to boost the unit to twenty (my preferred number). 

At a gaming tournament of a game that I will not mention, I not only tipped the "troop" of ten off a movement tray onto the floor, but then later dropped the same unit down a stone staircase.

As a result I "put off" the second ten, simply because I knew that there was no point until I repaired, partially stripped and repainted the first ten.

I'm fairly proud to say that I have done both.

Due to the fact that the first ten this month were "repair jobs" (even though that was actually far, far more work than actually buying the models again and starting from scratch) - I won't be counting them in the OWAC or the points cost. I just thought that a precious few of you - and both readers of my BLOG - might like to see the whole unit with the newly painted chaps and the repaired and part-stripped and repainted stuff included.

To make it truly Oldhammer, I had in my mind a design for a banner I wanted the crossbow unit to have. An Orc or a Half-Orc tied to a stake being peppered with quarrels. Somewhere in the back of my mind I seemed to remember Aly Morrison using a similar image on a shield for the "Arcane Armorials" decal set.

Wanting to make all my detachment banners free-handed tapestry style renaissance pieces I stumbled across the fairy tale of San Sebastian, from which I assumed Aly took inspiration for his shield design.

I'd go into more detail if I had more time - but I don't, so I won't.

Next month I'll be finishing the "Black Band".

Month 1 Rank and File:

x11 "Hammerers" (Minus shields) including musician = 180 points (probably)

x10 Crossbows including standard = 143 points.

Total = 323 points.

21 dwarfs done.

Matthew Street and the Tale of OWAC Dwarf Failure (continued)

I think we've been here before.

"Street will upset someone...Street will combine short vowels and harsh consonants into swear-words which aren't suitable for Oldhammer under-fourteens and make them cry...Street will paint a banner of a politician with bad hair in keeping with Oldhammer's tradition of political satire that will be reported by grown-up babies as hate-speech when he forgets to snowflake pixelate it..."

But hey, no-one can argue that any of that stuff won't be fun.

Covid has caused us all a lot of upheaval over the last 2 years. The same nonsense I had last year is the same I have this. We are still not in a new house and we are still cooped up in our old place with half of my stuff either in the new place or in storage.

So last year I tried to get a whole bunch of my pre-slotta dwarfs painted for the OWAC. 

It didn't work out quite the way I planned. 

Mainly because I didn't read the rules properly and spent my wildcard month painting up a rather large addition to my baggage train, not realising that this was my rest month.

So anyway...Puff and Slash will be the first order of the day.

Sgt. Borri McCockinner and the Longpoles

How about something smaller:

I'm looking at many of the units I failed to even prep last year.

Just to make it a proper challenge I haven't even assembled anything yet. everything is still in bits, untrimmed, unfiled.

Every unit needs at least a bit of conversion including all the banner poles.

Brilliant. 

"THE BLACK BAND"

x21 Hammerers. Puff and Slash Two-Handed Swordsmen.

x10 Crossbows. The second ten of the "Flash Harrys".

x20 Elite Marauder Dwarfs. 

(Possibly) x20 of the long promised Wayne England tribute unit.

x4 Command. Chopping up that standard bearer so I can get a bigger banner pole in that hand. Those who know - know where those helmet wings are going.

(Or possibly) x20-40 Norse Dwarfs. Selected out of these.

Hoping to make it to the end this year even if it's just 40 rank & file and the command.

I don't need to make a lead offering to the overlord as I offer lots and lots of money in the form of artwork prizes. If you get me it means you didn't win. So there.

Stonewall Street is a failed Rock Star; failed professional footballer; failed professional cricketer; failed comic book artist; failed artist; failed poet; failed author; below average miniature painter; failed actress; reasonably decent management accountant and all-round Facebook agitator. He lives in the shadow of Heathrow's north runway in a slum that real estate agents describe as "vibrant". Last year he added "failed OWAC Challenger to that list. If his parents loved him they'd make better voting choices.

All the best everyone.

Stonewallstreet's Wooden Wall (50 points)

Wild Card month

Baggage for 1000 points of army.

Wagons. X5 civvies. Wagon loads and other provisions.

Points cost.

Free.

I could well be breaking some kind of low points record for the OWAC but...well...baggage trains and camp followers are free. I didn't write all the rules of Oldhammer you know.

This is also some kind of sublimation of the current state of my life.

Back on the rank and file next month once I've worked out which wagon my preslottas are on.

Street out.

And a rear view for those of you that like that sort of thing.

This is a shot of the wildcard added to my dwarf baggage.

The new wagon can either be laden with supplies or fits x3 20mm square slotta troops if part of a barricade.

Note from the Overlord : I'm awarding Matthew 50 points, as I will consider the crates and such terrain.

STONEWALL STREET'S LAVISH LEADER MONTH (263 points)

It's been a funny twelve months. For "funny" you can sub in words such as "surreal"; "terrifying" or just plain "I'm sorry what?"

At the start of the OWAC I wasn't expecting to be making such slow progress. I was expecting by mid-January to be in a new, far more spacious home with hobby stuff spread out on a bigger table and Mrs Street cursing my very existence at every turn.

It's not really worked out like that so I apologise. The mighty ambition that I could beat Thansants and Golgfagg for output has proved as misplaced as expecting either of them to use the backseat of their Land-Rovers as a place to keep a tapped beer keg for long journeys.

I find myself 3 months in, most of my possessions and books still in crates, and with only the bare minimum of 22 models painted.

But life is what it is.

We often in the Oldhammer Community talk about a "holy grail mini". What would you most like to own? For me - as a Dwarf collector, and self confessed pre-slotta Perry nut - it has always been the counter collect dwarf.

Photo - Stuff of Legends

You can keep your Ozrim Chardz or your unreleased whatever. As far as I am aware this is the rarest dwarf that was ever officially released.

I asked the largest of all the (several) Oldhammer communities for painted examples of the counter collect dwarf as painting inspiration if I could find one. It appears that in the entire community only two people own a painted example. And one of those is Richard Hale.

Enter Matt Hancock stage left. The British Secretary of State for Health (no really) - suicided my Grandmother almost exactly a year ago. Covid made everything difficult to process from certification to unattended funeral to estate processing. On Christmas Eve I received a modest inheritance. In typical nan-style she wanted me to have something nice. A holiday of a lifetime. A custom made Gordon Smith Guitar. A counter collect dwarf. 

In the beginning I saw this challenge as a way to get some units finished, I've done the command for a 2nd edition Bugman's unit and thought that I would finish off 16 troopers and the champion this month to complete them. Then I had a Street-sulk about the shields. I had a bunch of placcy shields I'd guide applied decals to for painting but the teenage me had his mind set on some rickety old shields he had bought in the early 90s in the Harrow Model Shop.

Turns out that they were by Fantasy Warlord and long OOP. I had about 12 but needed at least 4 more. I've recast those 4 in greenstuff in a press mould but it all put me back a long way.

So I've decided that instead of what I had planned I am going to recreate the "sacred company" of one-hundred-and-eleven dwarfs from my Oldhammer comic "Ravenscar". The pre-slotta dwarfs fit in perfectly and with the amount of Norse Dwarfs I have I'm sure I can do this more realistically or at least make a decent start. It allows me to use my wildcard month to tackle a couple of wagons, pack animals and some "clingers on" dwarf villager types.

So I used far too much money to purchase my holy grail mini to use as "Captain Ulfric Firebeard of Ravenscar". He is not "Lord Allaric One-Horn of Ravenscar" the leader of the Raven Company but he is the brains behind the outfit.  

Alongside him is his personal bodyguard and champion "Ser (nobgag nobgag nobgag)"

Ser Nobgag's shield has been copied (badly) from the same figure in the Heroes for Wargames book.

So my output for March is a pathetic two dwarfs. Although one of them cost as much in points as he is in pounds.

Captain Ulfric - Lvl 15 Hero (negotiable), light armour, 2-handed axe (132 points)

Ser Nobgag - Lvl 15 Hero (negotiable), Light Armour, Shield (131 points)

The counter collect models were only available by cutting out a section of a picture on the back of Citadel blister and then assembling into a picture of a model and sending off to Citadel to receive your model. Hence the rarity of some of them. Photo Credit and pictures used by courtesy of Stuff of Legends.

The Counter Collect Collection - Photo Courtesy of Stuff of Legends

Here's to a better three quarters of 2021. 

Stonewall Street's Dwarf Detachment (136.5 points)

Rank & Files #2

Who wants to hear about my moving woes? 

Is that fucking nobody? 

OK. I entered into the OWAC confident I’d match Thansants for output. That’s because unlike some of you I’ve been waiting for him in the pub when he calls and says: “Just finishing off some Orcs and then I’ll set off…”

Me: “Tell me the end of that sentence isn’t: from nearly Scotland…”  

So I painted ten pre-slotta dwarfs. That makes it: A billion points. 

 Nothing I own is currently working. Its twenty dwarfs with a banner, musician and a leader. 

Or something.

I love all my oldhammer friends xxx

Stonewall Street's Dwarf Detachment (140 points)

 Slow and Steady - Er....something about a race.

Rank & File month #1 

There's something in me that makes me the kind of person that likes entering a competition that I know I am unable to win. Either because of my lack of ability, my lack of connections or just simply because of my criticism of NMM as a "2D medium based around photography and 'like' harvesting".

As an actual 2d artist painting 2d metal effects on 3d models when actual metallic paints exist always makes me laugh, but each to his own. I have to do NMM on actual 2d pieces of art, so you'll forgive me for not also doing it on my hobby. Forgive me.

I was hoping to get 20 done.

I was hoping to photograph them properly.

But my backgrounds are in crates,

So I've done ten dwarfs. 

I've photographed them on the inside of an old black band T-Shirt.

The photos are dreadful.

Sorry.

x10 Dwarf Warriors: Light Armour; Shields; Crossbows. 14 pts. 

140 points,

I'm Alf Tupper.

I might run you all. 

Stonewall Street's Dwarf detachment

 Grumble, grumble, grumble...low 2020 production despite plenty of free-time. Still two units of Gaul noble cavalry to complete the Warmaster Ancients army. Sunburn playtesting and gang painting plus scenery to do. Chaos, Dwarf and Greenskin Warmaster armies to complete. Confederate and Union divisions to complete in 6mm to add to my brigade level Fire and Fury armies before the U.S. embarks on Civil War 2.0. Don't take on anything else you idiot. You have 3 Oldhammer comic pages to run through photoshop for goodness sake...finish what you have Goddam it.

Well  it's been a while since I posted on the OWAC and many, many hours over the first right to publish have passed. So just in case that introduction post never gets published here it is.

I spent many a long second deliberating over whether I would accept a tentative (probably slightly worried) invite to compete this year.

NEWS FROM HELL BEFORE BREAKFAST: Warmaster Interlude - Taking on the Old World Army Challenge

 "Street will upset someone...Street will combine short vowels and harsh consonants into swear-words which aren't suitable for Oldhammer under-fourteens and make them cry...Street will paint a banner of a politician with bad hair in keeping with Oldhammer's tradition of political satire that will be reported by grown-up babies as hate-speech when he forgets to snowflake pixelate it..."

But hey, no-one can argue that any of that stuff won't be fun.

"Snowflakes Saar....Faarsands ov 'em..."

So what to do? When absolutely everything you have is Dwarfs apart from a small human militia contingent, there's not a whole load of scope. I'm guessing that I'll be doing some Dwarfs.

I'm a bit hamstrung by the fact that I thought it would be sensible to move over Christmas. While that may sound like something that only a total £u(&ing idiot would do (guilty as charged) - since in the UK I will either be working or stockpiling weapons to protect my Brexit apocalypse food reserve and freezer come January the 1st I figured this was a good time to do it. Plus my new place looks slightly easier to defend with easier access to the upstairs gun safe and an easily booby-trapped outside toilet.

However I took some advance photos at the end of November of what I intend to embark on. Apart from filling in a few holes - er....like painting all of my 2nd edition Bugman's Rangers apart from 3 of the heroes and the beer cart. I have a bunch of stuff I need to get done.

I have Jorri and maybe 20 Rangers to complete, I'm posting this photo so you know what is already done so I don't try to sneakily include them in my totals.

So I have no %^£$&&*ing idea how many points my units are. The great thing is about dwarfs is that if you're a few points short each month you just say "actually these are Hammerers and they're worth 50 points each mofo..."

But there goes with a preview. Apologies with the bad, kitchen countertop pics but I was packing these away for the move.

THE BLACK BAND

This is a 20 strong unit of Hammerers or simple Dwarf warriors with 2-handed weapons (depending on how many points I need to faff in a week). These will be my "Black Band"/"Black Guard" of Zweihanders or "DoppelSoldiers". These consist of a mix of Citadel, Marauder, Runecast and White Knight models (now available through The Assault Group).

FANTASY TRIBES REGIMENT

I picked up these lovely pre-slottas about 3 years ago in a collection. I stripped about 35 years worth of enamel and car primer off them and was delighted to find them in good, shiny nick underneath. I have 25 of these and am looking forward to painting them. Not sure whether I will give them a uniform colour scheme or whether I will give them a variety of Saxon/Norman shields. The previous owner had already removed a weapon and drilled out a fist for a brass rod so I will be doing a spectacular tomato paste banner for the unit.

MORE PRESLOTTAS

So I have a unit which I call "The Doughty Dozen". A unit of 12 pre-slotta Dwarfs which I have loved since I saw them painted up in the old "Heroes for Wargames" book in the '80s. I want to make them up to a unit of 40 but for the OWAC I will be doing a 30-strong unit from the models in the bottom two pictures which I'll add to the Doughty Dozen for the full unit of 40.

The middle photo mainly consists of broken and damaged minis which I'll add to the bottom (largely intact) 20 models. Six of these are not technically "pre-slottas" but in my own head the models with cast-on shields are from a similar era and often scale better than they do with the placcy shield models. YMMV.

MARAUDER HAMMERERS

Marauder Hammerers. What it says on the tin. x20.

PUFF AND SLASH CROSSBOWS

x10 "Puff and Slash" crossbows. I already a unit of ten of "Sven Surebolt's Flash Harrys" painted up. These will be painted up using the same crimson and cream colour scheme but will have their own Marauder champion so that I can use them as both a separate unit or combine them for a larger unit of 20. Two models are Marauder, the rest are White Knight/TAG.

WAYNE ENGLAND TRIBUTE UNIT

Every Dwarf army has to have a Wayne England tribute right? I'm not really one for having the whole army in the same livery. In fact I'm trying not to have more than one unit in the same colours.

When it comes to Wayne England's Dwarf army (the models that launched a thousand obsessions) - most people initially think of the blue and white halved uniforms of his Longbeards. I know I have a unit of "Thorgrimm Rockschafft and his Big Swingers painted thus:

Despite the fact that we automatically think of this as Wayne's "signature" Dwarf colours, he only ever painted one unit in blue and white. His Clansmen were black and white with blue belts and braces, his pikemen were green and yellow.

I'm not sure quite how I'll treat this tribute unit yet. I think maybe the often overlooked black and white would be fitting. Like Wane I'll be using some classic ME33 LOTR Dwarfs in there. And also a big massive tomato paste banner obviously.

THE OFFERING TO THE DARK GODS

When I was about seventeen my parents' house was burgled for about the fifteenth time. In this particular theft I had three 2nd edition Blood Bowl teams stolen. A human team, a Skaven team and my Stuntinutty Bengals Dwarf team. I have since recreated these stolen teams using the new GW models and some third party metals - but scalecreep has meant that these days a 2nd or 3rd edition BB Ogre is the same size a new GW human.

As such, what says Oldhammer to the Oldhammer Gods more that an Ogre who has had his legs sawn in half by Street and had half an inch of pinned and badly sculpted legs inserted  in to make him taller?

Nothing. That's what.

And thus, number thirteen "Jonah Jonah" has been replaced with number sixteen "Igor Biscan". Otherwise known as "Max Fleischgewehr". Jonah Jonah will now live in the Land of Chill or "The New World in which all Warhammer scenarios were set before thirty years of GW fluff u-turns."

Stonewall Street is a failed Rock Star; failed professional footballer; failed professional cricketer; failed comicbook artist; failed artist; failed poet; failed author; below average miniature painter; failed actress; reasonably decent management accountant and all-round Facebook agitator. He lives in the shadow of Heathrow's north runway in a slum that real estate agents describe as "vibrant". His main ambition in life is to survive into month 3. Enjoy the ride.