HARD ROCK HALLELUJAH - Jon's Space Ork Wrap-Up

Well: we made it.

Fun fact: there is absolutely nowhere to set up the classic "behind the army" mugshot in my house without moving furniture.
I love you people, but not that much.

My mission, should I have chosen to accept it (and I did) was yes, to produce a 1000 point army for second edition Warhammer 40,000, but on a personal level it was "finally paint up that Land Raider I'd had on the shelves since 2015", "beat the standard established by the Orks' previous owner" and "perchance give a damn about painting again."

The Army List

I deliberately haven't taken any Wargear cards (no points inflation on my watch) and only the one vehicle upgrade (because it's represented on the model). I did at one point want to do one of those old-fashioned army collecting writeups, but I don't actually have any of the fun stuff like Oddboyz that makes them interesting, so... here it is.

Characters

Bad Moon Warboss with power fist, plasma pistol and 'eavy armour: 86 points

Blood Axe Nob with bolter and 'eavy armour: 21 points

Blood Axe Nob with bolter and 'eavy armour: 21 points

Goff Nob with power fist and 'eavy armour: 30 points
Goff Nob with power fist and 'eavy armour: 30 points

Mobs

Bad Moon Nobz Mob: 5 Nobz with 'eavy armour and power axes; 2 also have plasma guns: 157 points

Bad Moon Boyz Mob: 10 Boyz with bolters; 2 also have heavy plasma guns: 182

Bad Moon Boyz Mob: 6 Boyz with bolters; 2 also have heavy plasma guns: 130

Bad Moon Boyz Mob: 6 Boyz with bolters; 2 also have heavy plasma guns: 130 points

Blood Axe Boyz Mob: 5 Boyz with bolters; 1 also has heavy stubber: 72 points

Blood Axe Boyz Mob: 5 Boyz with bolters; 1 also has heavy stubber: 72 points

Goff Boyz Mob: 4 Skarboyz with power swords; 5 Boyz with chainswords: 146 points

Support

Looted Land Raider: Heavy Flamer: 230 points

Grand Total: 1307 points

How would it play on the table? Goodness alone knows, but the absence of the usual forty or more Gretchin to act as skirmish screen, Dreadnoughts, Wartraks or Ghazghkull (all staples of my original second edition army) lead me to believe "not very." I do (somewhere) have most of a Shokk Attack Team that's not painted up, and if the army was ever to see an actual battlefield I suspect that would eat the majority of the remaining points. Because I need more heavy weapons, obviously.

Now let's talk about the personal objectives.

Paint That Land Raider

Yep. That's done. I'm also rather pleased with it, considering it's the first tank I've painted in close to a decade (and the last ones were weird Necron skimmers, do they even count?). Its original owner has seen it and given it the traditional metal-horns salute of confidence too, so I think he's satisfied. I would actually like to paint more tanks in future, given how much fun I had with this one.

Beat The Teenager

 

I think I managed that! These are at the very least grade two paint jobs, saved by the liberal application of vintage Citadel ink. I think those were the biggest surprises in terms of paint: I'd forgotten just how dense and glossy they were, and how they might need to be thinned and guided instead of just slopped on like the Liquid Talent from the current range.

Give A Damn About Painting Again

I learned a lot from the last six months. For all that I haven't gotten on with either the models or the style in which I chose to paint them, I have at least figured out what it was about them I didn't like. I know more about my painting style now; this bold stark heavy red period stuff with bright colours all over doesn't do it for me, I need some nice drabs on the body of a figure so the bases, faces and blades really get to stand out.

 

Beyond that, I've also been working on my Wood Elf army in parallel to OWAC, and it was touch and go as to whether either project would be ready on time (at time of writing I still have twenty Wood Elf spearmen who aren't even primed yet). Given that I'm not an enthusiastic painter I really need to get my head down and bully through one job at a time.

And finally, there's the small matter of variety. The Orks have been very samey in terms of the kind of model I've painted, the Wood Elves have been very samey in terms of what colours I've painted them, and I think one or the other needs a bit of a jiggling up.

Would I do it all again next year?

You know what? I would. I really would. But I'd have to change up the project a little bit, to suit those lessons learned above.

• For style, I need models that are mostly drab, so I can focus my limited enthusiasm on the important eye catching bits and let the rest slide.
• For focus, I need a project I'm going to be playing games with in the summer, rather than doing weird side projects that detract from my grand purposes as a hobbyist.
• For variety, I need an army with more than one troop type in it, so I can shake myself up and keep myself going.
  

Fortunately, the very bottom drawer of my hobby cabinet has these evil little sods in it. 

That's about 1500 points of Macrocosm Miniatures Chaos Dwarfs, plus Hobgoblin bowmen by Heresy Miniatures. And I have an idea of how to paint them, too... somewhere in that same cabinet are half a dozen Liquitex inks I bought around the same time I did the Orks, and I have an almost Stillmanic desire to see how such super-strong inks behave over next to nothing in the department of primer.

If I end up wanting yet another new WFB army for next year's summer events, and if the mighty Overlord will have me back of course, then this is what I'll be bringing. In any case, bravo to everyone else who's made it. It's been a pleasure. Yes, really. Really. Except those rubbish Bad Moons I did in the second month. Rackum frackum this is what happens when you use paints named after Space Marine Chapters...

JUNE "Back In Black" - Jon's Orks (436 points)

Infantry Month + Vehicle Month

Nob with power fist and 'eavy armour: 30 points
Nob with power fist and 'eavy armour: 30 points

Goff Boyz Mob: 4 Skarboyz with power swords; 5 Boyz with chainswords: 146 points

Looted Land Raider: Heavy Flamer: 230 points

Running Total: 1286 points

We apologise for the interruption to services. Hopefully this makes up for it.

we are so serious, Red Period...

Technically, if you want to split hairs about this sort of thing, the Land Raider was "done" last month, in that all the metal bits and all the red bits were "done". But that's not even the three-colour competitive wallah-wallah standard, and I didn't want to wave around half a job just for the sake of rushing a post out before I went on holiday.

When I came back, and after I'd played an actual game of tabletop Warhammer with an actual person for the first time since Ye Lockedowne Part Onne all those centuries ago, I had mojo.

 

First up: the last month's worth of infantry. I went a bit overboard with the gear on this mob. I had a bunch of chainswords and power swords lying around, and parries were always a good thing to have in second edition, and it was an easy way to differentiate some Skarboyz (also a good thing to have in second edition), and Goff mobs could bring two Nobz and only characters could take power fists... so I went all in on the available options.

The good thing about a colourscheme that's two thirds black is it doesn't need much highlighting. The bad thing about a colourscheme that's two thirds black is that black's gonna stick if the brush clips anything else, and if you've primed everything white so the skin matches, you're going to be painting a lot of black bits by hand. Goodness knows how I stuck out painting a hundred plus Orks and Gretchin back in 1995. They were slightly crisper casts, I suppose, but even so. I must have been mad.

I didn't compose this photo very well, did I? Anyway, I opted for a proper second edition blue ink on the power weapons and it looks moderately snazzy, in my opinion.

Nobz Nobz Nobz. I'm never quite sure if I've stuck these plastic power fists on properly or not.

But you didn't come here to look at my Nobz, did you? You're after something bigger. Something rather more girthy. 

Vehicle month!

I haven't painted many tank kits in my time (they took up too much space in my "must fit in the locker at school / under the desk at work / on my back when I cycle to club" single figure case), and I wasn't entirely prepared for doing three layers of P3's Khador Red Base to get coverage. It's worked out all right, though, and I think the "camo" (to qualify as "must be painted in Blood Axe colours") looks rather better on the big flat panels of a tank kit than it did on the Boyz' shoulders.

After a good lashing of Liquid Talent, it still wasn't looking quite "done", so out came the technical paints. A spot of Typhus Corrosion on some of the metalwork and anywhere the kit had taken a ding or scratch over the years, and a liberal bash of Agrellan Earth over the tracks and the underside.

My one regret's that the Ork glyph on the front has broken and I can't find the top half anywhere (and believe me, I looked; I turned out three drawers of my hobby cabinet and still no sign of it). Much like that errant plasma gun on the Nobz mob (which I did find during the long trawl), it'll go on when it turns up. Or I'll think of something better I can glue on there before the final showdown.

"And It Was All Yellow..." – Jon's Bad Moons (236 points)

Leader Month!

Warboss with 'eavy armour, power fist and plasma pistol: 86

5 Nobz with 'eavy armour and power axes, 2 plasma guns: 150 points

Running Total: 850 points of 1000

A generally slumpy month this month, busy at work and no desire to blog. I didn't even reply to any comments on my last post yet, appalling form on my part. I could make excuses but the truth is I've just had the Big Sads for a few weeks and it's been difficult to stir my stumps and find the gumption for anything more taxing than Crusader Kings 2 and solitary drinking. These figures have been in the queue for ten days just waiting for their base rims and some camera work!

 

That said: I've finally nailed the colour balance, the more modern inks I've cycled in are doing the work, and the Warboss in particular was a delight to work on.

Look at 'im. What a lad! Not my absolute favourite Bad Moon Warboss ever (the one-piece job with the round Marine-style shoulderpads and proper kustom weapon takes that crown) but a solid figure, chunky and compact. The beakie helmet under the boot is a nice touch.

 

I'm not saying I'm going to throw out all my plastic models ever and start frothing about the merits of lead vs tin in pewter, but let's say I finally understand where the "all metal all the time" types are coming from, and I'm looking forward to painting a collection where the only plastic involved is in the slottabases. 

I was pretty restrained with the kit on the Warboss. I don't think it's in keeping with the spirit of the OWAC to count extra points for Spike Arms or Master-crafted Plasma Pistols or squint and pretend he's in mega-armour even if those are the sort of upgrades I'd consider taking in an actual battle. The only upgrade card I'm going to be counting for the challenge is the heavy flamer on the Land Raider and that's because it's already been stuck on by a previous owner.

White hair and blue jeans on the Nobz Mob. As the oldest and wealthiest of the tribe, the boomer Orks if you will, that just made sense. They have a certain "Tony Blair's lockdown mullet" energy to them.

In accordance with tradition there's a mix of weapons on these, some ranged and some melee. I always liked the power axe in second edition, with its lightweight one handed profile for swinging at boyz and heftier double handed chop for smashing up toyz, so they've all got one of those. A couple of plasma guns so they can do something if they have to take cover for a turn, and... I've just spotted a plasma gun that's fallen off. Minge biscuits. I shall replace that during next month's sprint on the Goff mob, I swear. I've knocked the points for it off this month but I'm still going strong, and that's all the Bad Moons themselves done. Home stretch is nice familiar stuff: big tanks and black armour. I'll be there in no time.

All I Can See Is Red, Red, Red... - Jon's "Bad Moons" (184 points)

Rank & File Month 3: 186 points

Running Total: 614 of 1000 points

So I know I said it'd be Goffs, but the Blood Axes were chewing a hole in my head. I knew the project wouldn't proceed until I knew what I was going to do with them, so that needed working out quick sharp and pronto fashion.

When in doubt, go back to the source. I consulted Rogue Trader's definitive 'Ere We Go in search of Blood Axe colours contemporary with these figures.

This cheeky little number suggested a nice deep red for the ribbed flak armour, and the camo pattern saved for the trouser regions and sleeves. Combine that with a couple of the pattern examples from the second edition Codex - I was particularly taken with the purple splotch on orange combo, and the original title for this post was going to be "Red, White and Blue", so white strides with blue slashes seemed ideal for the other lot. And no trim, I've decided; I need a break from that nonsense and I'm changing up the composition anyway. 

I also changed my brushes, and lord what a difference it makes! The unreliable W&Ns are relegated to primer and ink duty (clutch not your pearls!) and I've invested in some new Pro Arte jobs, one squirrel and one sable. The squirrel is a bit loose but ideal for blocking and basecoat; the sable comes out for tidying up and detail work. Even if the results aren't much better, the process is much more enjoyable.

Not at all sure about the camo pattern; I think it's blobbed a bit and I'm not quite sure why. Not sure about the Typhus Corrosion on the heavy stubber and the Boss' shoulder pads either.

I skipped both of those not-sure parts on the second batch and I think I like them slightly more.

Boom. 

Blood Axes, baby. Two mobs of five, heavy stubber, Nob with 'eavy armour, bolters all round. Plus an excuse to paint the Land Raider an attractive shade of go-faster crimson when I get there. 

I may have daubed out a bit too much gunmetal paint, so... thought I'd make a start.

I also have a few more spare Orks who I've decided to doll up and throw in to the mix here; behold, a Blood Axe Big Boss and some Skarboyz for my Goff mob (which also saves me having to play the wild card by taking that mob over ten models: result!)

But most importantly: I have had a jolly nice time with these. Aren't you pleased?

Jon's Bad Moons - What's The Use Of Feeling, Blue? (248 points)

Rank & File Month #2: 2 mobs of 6 Bad Moon Boyz with 2 heavy plasma guns apiece : 248 pts

Running Total: 428 points of 1000

da ba dee

I thought I'd gotten away with it.

I thought that walking away from the black trim would give me a little breathing room, that an actual colour would be a little more forgiving.

I failed to take into account just how vibrant Ultramarine Blue is, especially when you're putting a layer of heavy early-noughties Blue Ink over the top, especially especially when you're also using it for mohawks and stuff, plus especially when your plasma coils are turning out more or less the same blue.

Oddly enough, I have produced some paint jobs I'm very happy with this month: they're just not these ones.

da ba di

 I think I've figured out the issue here, though. Over the years, the painting style I've developed and rediscovered has become very glaze-happy. I like adding thin layers of cold colours and heavy drybrushing and not actually painting the bulk of the model, just shading it and letting it fade so the details I've made an effort on attract the eye.

These all-over blocks of bold colour, saturated with ink - they might be very authentically mid-1990s but I moved away from that style some years ago. I wish I still had some photos of my Warmachine armies, just to prove that I could do this once. I used to wet blend and everything.
 

da ba dee da ba di

I don't usually take photos of the backs of these Orks and this is why: without the boltgun held over the chest and the attraction of their winsome little faces, there's nothing to hide the mess I'm making of the body colours. It's not even the yellow that gets me, although that's supposed to be the hobby destroyer; it's finding an accent colour that doesn't bleed, dominate and overwhelm it even if I do manage to stay inside the lines.

On which note, while a bad workman does as ever blame his tools, Windsor & Newton brushes have really gone downhill, haven't they? My oldest ones, a gift from a kindly grandmother-in-law six years ago, are still in great nick and saved the faces on these Orks from total ignominy. The newer ones I bought myself last year? Useless. Especially the #2, which fishtailed the moment I got it out of the tube. I don't know if W&N are generally rubbish now or if they just put the ones that wouldn't pass quality control in the multi-packs, but I am sore distressed.

before I ruined everything

Not to sink to a complete whinge-fest though: I am happy with the skin on these boys. This is the Complete Citadel Paint Experience: Waaagh! Flesh basecoat, Niblit Green drybrush, Ork Flesh Wash, then another quick flick of the Niblit Green if someone's looking a bit dreary. So that bit's going fine. We're figuring things out, batch by batch.

The next thing I have to figure out is what the hell I'm going to do with my Blood Axe contingent, as the Land Raider should probably match up with them. Camo will look naff on their ribbed-and-trimmed tunics, olive drab is just going to disappear into the green skin, and grey is off limits because I don't want to get grey fatigue while I'm still working on my Middlehammer Wood Elves.

Maybe that can just wait for a bit longer and next month will either be the Warboss and co. (finishing the Bad Moons contingent) or the Goffs (a return to a familiar colourscheme, even if it's still high contrast shenanigans). Yeah, that sounds like a plan. Then the Blood Axe Boyz, and then finish on the Land Raider, possession of which is the reason I'm doing all this to begin with.

Jon's Bad Moons - They Tried To Make Me Go To Rehab (180 points)

Rank & File month #1

OK, so.

This was going to be a long drawn out whinge of a post about how much I dislike the actual act of smearing liquid plastic onto solid plastic, and It's been eighteen months since I picked up a paintbrush, apathy has led to atrophy, and oh god I'm letting the side down already.

But then I found the single model that the previous owner of my Orks had painted when he was a pre-teen, and... well, that's what I have to beat here.

With that in mind I've decided to approach the OWAC as a kind of Reluctant Painter's Rehab, getting my hand and eye and above all my mindset back into the hobby zone. There's no point in comparing what I do to what the others do because some of the others are doing this as collectors, photographers, diorama fanciers - people who paint for the sake of painting, or to have something that looks good in a studio-style photo. Me? I paint to play. Proper gamer's models that look fine under harsh artificial light from three or four feet away against a busy background, because that is how wargaming pieces are viewed. And if they're good enough under those conditions, they're done.

I decided to start with the most basic models, the plainest skin-clothes-guns-go jobs on the slate. Any teething troubles would thus be worked out on the lowest stakes models in the army and I'd have it all figured out by the time I got to the Warboss.

Everything went pretty well at first: skin and clothes looked decent, metals were a bit bright but that's what you get with a white undercoat. It was the black trim that destroyed me. Normally I avoid high contrast colourschemes, especially on simple models without the eyeblinding level of detail that hides messy brushwork. Messy brushwork like the kind I always sink to when I'm working on more than a couple of models at a time. I couldn't get away with it here and at this stage I was feeling a bit grim.

Fortunately, Ork Flesh Wash hides a multitude of sins. Once everything had a good layer of ink on it I liked the figures much more. It's darker than I remember, though (or it might be that I'm using the tail end of a pot I bought in 1996). I have a whole bunch of different greens to play around with and I might introduce another stage to the process on the next unit, or start with a bolder basecoat.

Detail work, such as it is, involves teeth, eyes, and glowy bits. I'm a great believer in the "bases, faces and blades" approach to figure painting: the eye is drawn to those areas, so if they look all right the rest can afford to be a bit chod. The Ork Flesh Wash really worked against me here and it took a few coats of brown to get the mouths properly basecoated. That might be another argument in favour of a base/wash/light drybrush approach on the next unit. I'll try it out and if it looks good I'll go back and redo these.

Classic Goblin Moot Green bases and flock to finish, of course. I don't normally do this sort of thing, but with a project like this it'd be rude not to. I am going to have to work on that skin recipe though, I have a nasty feeling I've used exactly the same green as the bases and not realised. Heigh ho: I shall take a pop at the 'Moons with mohawks next month and see what can be done about that, assuming I don't get distracted painting... new figures. You know. Still in production.

Bad Moon Boyz Mob

10 Boyz: 8 with bolters, 2 with heavy plasma guns. 180 points. A decent start.

Don't Go Round Tonight, It's Bound To Take Your Life: Jon's Bad Moons

Greetings and salutations! No, that's a bit pretentious. 'Ello boyz an' girlz an' squigz an' that! Ugh, no, can't stand goblinspeak. Sod it: wotcher. I'm Jon. If you've been knocking around the wargaming blogopshere since I was relevant you might remember me from the House of Paincakes, but I doubt it. Irregular transmissions still occur through Malediction Games, where I post about sixth edition WFB, Vampire: the Masquerade, board games, weird indie RPG design, and whatever I'm working through for my PhD in taking RPGs too seriously.

Vital Statistics

Started Hobbying: 1996, White Dwarf 201, fashionably late for the big issue and uncomfortably early for WFB fifth edition. Apart from a year's break for GCSEs (if I packed it in and passed 'em all my grandparents had to shut up about "all that bleddy Warhammer" and leave me to it) I never really stopped. I mostly play WFB sixth edition these days, the King of Editions and Edition of Kings, but I did start with 40K second edition...

Armies: Come and go in waves, and I've often ended up doing the same army a few times with different ranges and then selling them to fund the next thing or cover some temporary financial crisis. I've always gravitated to the baddies, and usually whatever Undead are around. My first ever army was made up of all my mates' Goff Orks from their starter sets, though, and I've always had a soft spot for the greenskins even if they don't really play the way I like.

What's The Project: Orks! Again! Why? Because when you have forty OG plastic Space Orks and an OG plastic Land Raider just sitting there on a shelf not doing anything for three years, you clearly and transparently need a boot up the ‘arris. Plus I've been playing for twenty-five years next summer and it'd be nice to have an old-school army together in time for the anniversary.

This isn’t really a shopping project since a) I have plenty of unpainted models and b) I don’t have any money. With that in mind I’m going focus my energy on boyz not toyz this time around: I've only bought one model specifically for this project and it's a new Warboss, of whom more later.

The collection could wander into either Rogue Trader or second edition 40K, depending on exactly how I break the infantry up, and I have a few spare bodies I may trick out to fill in for odd heavy weapon troopers who I can't take in second edition and so on and so forth.

To get started I spent a somewhat maddening Sunday afternoon sorting out all my Orks according to things like headgear, pose, whether or not they already had shoulder pads stuck on with some sort of primordial uber-glue that it took a claw hammer to shift and so on. After numerous failed attempts to bash some sort of order into the proceedings I realised that the one model already painted (badly) by a previous owner was a Bad Moon and I should just let that be my guide.

Waa-Bludnok!

Primer's not even dry yet, but lookit 'em all!

All the Orks with bare heads, topknots and mohawks are going to be Bad Moons and carry the rather snazzy plastic heavy plasma guns that come in the Space Ork kit, since I have about six of them. I’m also going to repurpose half a dozen of these as Nobz since they’ve got big shoulder pads practically welded on and that makes them stand out enough for my liking.

Bad Moons are also quite economical in that all those heavy weapons really gobble up points (with fewer Orks to paint I'll do a better job on them, that's the theory anyway) and in Rogue Trader their Oddboyz get to bring extra Oddbitz on account of being fabulously wealthy (so I have a lot of freedom to chew up more points with Dreadnoughts and artillery and what have you, if I find models I like for them).

The Land Raider was primed standard "get yer drybrush out" black by a previous owner: the Boyz have been done white because I want that eyeball-popping early-40K tone and my usual techniques tend more toward the post-1998 dark and boring.

Here's the plan for getting it all painted. Four Rank and File months, plus a couple of free floaters to jam in when I want a change.

1. Bad Moons Big Mob (12 Boyz, 4 heavy plasma guns)
2. Bad Moons Lil' Mobs (10 Boyz, 2 heavy plasma guns)
3. Blood Axe Mobs (10 Boyz, 2 heavy stubbers, plus 2 Nobz with kit I've not picked yet)
4. Land Raider

• Warboss and 5 Nobz (lots of plasma guns, stikkbombs, and my single intact plasma pistol on the Warboss: it'll probably be master-crafted) (Leader month)
  
• Goff Mob (5 Boyz with chainswords, 2 Nobz with power fists, and something cool because it's technically my Wild Card: maybe an illuminated army list with a load of glyphs and stuff on?)
  

That's as close as I'm getting to an army list at the moment.

I'm deliberately not starting with the Warboss and co because I need to get my eye and hand back in. While I used to be quite good at painting Orks, I haven't painted much in the last couple of years (tendonitis will get you like that) or over a white undercoat in the last twenty, and the yellow will probably be a bit of a mare at first too.

All of which just leaves the small matter of my Overlord Tribute. Now while everyone and their dog probably has one of these, this one is my original one off the front of a White Dwarf, onto which I have hung for all these years, the only model from my ill-fated Dark Elf army who's still knocking around. He's not quite done yet (he needs a spot of that modern edge highlighting on all the black bits) but I hope he'll be found worthy.

Also, he needs a base. Minor detail!

That's your lot for now. Join me in the New Year, when I'm sure I'll have a lot to say about the colour yellow, the provenance of twenty year old Ork Flesh Wash, and the pros and cons of game editions. I bet you can't wait.