KILLER RACCOONS 2: DARK CHRISTMAS IN THE DARK -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 7/26/20

 

Remember how all the action movies after DIE HARD were described as "DIE HARD in an airplane" or "DIE HARD on a cruise ship", etc.? Well, KILLER RACCOONS 2: DARK CHRISTMAS IN THE DARK (Indican Pictures, 2020) is like "AIRPLANE! on a train", or maybe "UNDER SIEGE 2 by way of AIRPLANE! but on another train", or anything with both AIRPLANE! and trains in it.

Of course, everyone knows AIRPLANE! is that hilarious deadpan comedy that spoofed the dead-serious "Airport" disaster movies. And in case you've forgotten, UNDER SIEGE 2 was that Steven Seagal movie about terrorists aboard a moving train.

Anyway, this movie is all of that with the addition of at least one key element: killer raccoons.

One character recalls yet another similar action film when he exclaims, "I'm tired of these (bleep) raccoons on this (bleep) train!" The raccoons in question are trained machine-gun-toting killers in service of a group of mercenaries who take over a passenger train car carrying the remote control console of an orbiting death ray satellite (the PEN15) built by our government and manned, so to speak, by--you guessed it--more raccoons.

Thus, the crazed terrorists, who all wear eyepatches and indulge in raucous evil laughter while taunting frantic military leaders with their demands, hold the world for ransom while the only person who has previous experience in fighting killer raccoons, Ty Smallwood (Yang Miller), happens to be on the train after serving a ten-year prison term for underage drinking.

We eventually learn that just about everyone in the cast was also involved in the events of the previous film ("Coons!: Night of the Bandits of the Night") and were presumed dead but it turns out they weren't really dead.

Now, such government agents as Agent Charlesworth and staunch feminist Agent Woman, who happened to be on the train, end up REALLY dead while Ty, who now wants to be called "Casey" (long story), must stay alive long enough to thwart the bad guys' evil scheme.

That's about all the explanation I can give for how incredibly kooky this comedy is, because it's brimming with non-stop jokes and moves at a frantic pace that just doesn't let up, as a large cast of characters spews funny lines with just the right degree of bone-dry, straight-faced seriousness.

In fact, this hyper-screwball comedy is pretty much the limit as to how incredibly silly you can get while still being deadpan at the same time. Even notorious porn star Ron Jeremy finds just the right balance of serious and over-the-top as a military general called in to help deal with the crisis. (There's a great blooper included with him repeatedly blowing a line containing the word "fracking.")

Writer-director Travis Irvine, who helmed the first movie and plays a TV reporter named Dick Weener, deftly keeps all this insanity moving along at a brisk clip and knows just how to navigate this kind of material for utmost comic effect.

The script is unapologetically cheesy and basks in the lowest of lowbrow humor--even the PEN15 satellite resembles a giant sex toy--with each member of the cast portraying it as though their paychecks depended on it.

Action-wise, it's pretty much all one might wish for in an action flick between heroic humans and stuffed raccoons with guns being manipulated in such an intentionally fake-looking way that they make the Muppets look elegantly realistic in comparison, engaging in blazing gunfights and hand-to-paw combat both inside and outside of the moving train.

Some of our favorite action-movie cliches show up, including the hero's portly black friend who loves Twinkies, a final mano a mano battle against the burliest bad guy (which includes a waffle iron vs. a George Foreman grill), a craven reporter endangering everyone's lives for an exclusive, and a cheery Christmas theme.

The DVD from Indican Pictures contains the following extras: filmmaker commentary, 2 behind-the-scenes featurettes, a trailer, and bloopers.  English subtitles are available.

I was going to watch the first half of this movie over my evening coffee and peanuts and then finish it off later during dinner, but I almost found myself watching the whole freaky-deaky thing in one dazed sitting. KILLER RACCOONS 2: DARK CHRISTMAS IN THE DARK grabs you by the pants leg, tickles all your funny bones, beats your brain into submission, and leaves you wondering what the (beep) you just watched.


Buy it at Indican Pictures

TECH SPECS

Runtime: 96 minutes
Format: 1:78 HD
Sound: Dolby Sr.
Country: USA
Language: English
Rating: Pending

KILLER RACCOONS 2: DARK CHRISTMAS IN THE DARK -- DVD Review by Porfle

KILLER UNICORN -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 4/21/19

 

KILLER UNICORN (Indican Pictures, 2018) is kind of like I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER, except instead of a bunch of teens being stalked by the Gorton's fisherman after they run over him a year earlier and leave him for dead, it's a bunch of extremely flamboyant drag queens being stalked by a buff stud in a unicorn mask because they kicked the crap out of him for raping their friend Danny a year earlier and left him for dead. 

Except he wasn't dead, and now Killer Unicorn is haunting the LGBTQ club scene and picking off members of that particular clique one by one in horrible ways while working his way back to his original victim, Danny. 

When Danny (Alejandro La Rosa) realizes what's going on (the severed head in his closet is a big tip-off), he notifies everyone else that they're all on the hit list.  Then they decide to get together at the big "Brooklyn Annual Enema Party" that night and use Danny as bait to bring Killer Unicorn into the open, and kill him.

 

It's sort of a comedy, except instead of gags we're just supposed to laugh at the ultra-camp, over-the-top drag queens like Jess J*zz, C*nt Stanley, Madame Mortimer, et al, as they exchange ribald dialogue and sexual innuendos in as stereotypical a fashion as they can muster. 

The "regular" gay guys like Danny seem positively normal by comparison, although it's Danny and his new friend "Puppy Pup" (José D. Álvarez) who get to have the big romantic softcore gay sex scene.  As a whole, the cast performs in a pleasingly uninhibited and, dare I say, natural fashion.

The murder scenes are violent, gory, and rather ugly in contrast to all of this, and are played more for ironic than comedic effect.  Again, however, the personalities of the drag queens are so outlandish that even here they can't help but lend a kind of curdled humor to their own violent death scenes.

 

Early scenes of the first victim's memorial party in the bar where Danny works focus on the group's decadent party lifestyles, an atmosphere that will reoccur in the film's second half during the raucous "enema party" in a crowded, dimly-lit club.

Here, first-time director Drew Bolton will manage some interesting low-budget visuals while building a fair amount of suspense amidst the chaos, especially in the scene where all the lights in the club are flashing on and off as the killer keeps popping up unexpectedly.  Through it all, the film tries its best to shock us with its outrageousness although we're already seen much of this kind of stuff before.

KILLER UNICORN wasn't clicking for me at all on first viewing, so a second one really helped.  While I first took it as an unsuccessful attempt to create a synthesis of "Liquid Sky" and John Waters, I came to realize that it's simply its own silly, mostly harmless, sometimes shockingly violent little horror/slasher comedy that you may find mildly entertaining.

Preorder on DVD or VOD at Indican Pictures

TECH SPECS
Runtime: 74 Minutes
Format: 2:35:1
Sound: Dolby DIGITAL 5.1
Country: USA
Language: English
Genre: Horror

KILLER UNICORN -- Movie Review by Porfle

MADE ME DO IT -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 4/12/19

 

A quick, down and dirty shoot (as described by the filmmakers) on a very low budget sometimes yields surprisingly good results, as it has in the case of the horror-thriller MADE ME DO IT (Indican Pictures, 2017).

What director and co-writer (with Matthew John Koppin) Benjamin Ironside Koppin set out to do was to get some talented people together and "Frankenstein" (his word) a movie together taking the old FRIDAY THE 13TH and HALLOWEEN slasher templates and doing an homage with a few curves and angles thrown in.

The main victims aren't the usual rowdy, party-hardy bunch--just pensive college student Ali Hooper (Anna B. Shaffer), her younger brother Nick (Jason Gregory London), and her boyfriend Jason (Liston Spence).

 

Ali's home for the weekend (no keg party or summer camp in the woods this time) but her estranged parents are gone, leaving just her and the guys having a quiet, unpleasantly introspective time of things.

It's just the right situation to be crashed by the standard masked serial killer, but this time he's a stringy, weepy nerd named Thomas (Kyle Van Vonderen) who spends most of his time banished to his bedroom by a sadistic, abusive aunt and living in a fantasy world of funny drawings that come to life and masks that he makes out of paper plates.

Thomas is a "special needs" sort of kid who couldn't hurt a fly--that is, until he puts on his "Barbara" mask, because "Barbara" is just the take-charge, take-no-prisoners sort of person Thomas could never be.  And "Barbara" is angry at the world.  Very angry.



That's the set-up, and from there MADE ME DO IT takes us into a scary campfire tale where Thomas silently stalks the night in his creepy mask and wields his bloody axe, leaving a trail of bodies all the way to Ali and Nick's house.

Much of the subsequent action is similar to what happens in THE STRANGERS, in which masked killers home-invaded a young couple and terrorized them for no apparent reason.

Here, we get just the same spooky ambience with the inhabitants of the dark, shadowy house (the electricity, alas, has gone off) cowering in fear as they try to elude the unknown stalker, who keeps popping up where they least expect him.

The director builds the suspense well for most of the film, although some scenes tend to meander a bit as Ali gets contemplative about the whole thing.  The film spends a lot of time pondering Thomas' psychological state and how he got that way, and our interest in this runs hot and cold.

Meanwhile, Thomas goes off on several freaky mind-trips involving his dead parents, his imaginary animal friends, his horrible aunt, "Barbara" (of course), and other images that come flying at us via various media such as 35mm, 16mm, and 8mm film, scratchy VHS tape, and crude animations--all of which are quite well-done and fun to look at.  (These are explored in more detail in one of several making-of featurettes included on the DVD.)

With a rousing final confrontation and a pretty keen twist right at the fadeout, MADE ME DO IT stacks up as one of the more interesting modestly-mounted slasher flicks of recent years, and is way better than watching the usual teen campers getting sliced and diced in the woods by some Jason wannabe.


Release Date: April 12th, 2019 (Theatrical) and April 23rd, 2019 (DVD, VOD).



MORE ON "MADE ME DO IT" FROM INDICAN PICTURES:


West Hollywood, CA (Friday, April 12th, 2019) - The dark, indie thriller Made Me Do It is the latest title to be released by U.S. based distributor Indican Pictures. A psychological look at the creation of a serial killer, Made Me Do It takes a first-hand look at a troubled slasher villain.

Shot with almost complete practical effects, Made Me Do It is a film from director Benjamin Ironside Koppin. And, the film stars: Anna B. Shaffer (“Strange Angel”), Kyle Van Vonderern (“Death Lust”), Cortney Palm and Jason Gregory London. A preview of the film’s upcoming theatrical and home entertainment launch is available now.

Thomas Berkson (Vonderen) is the portrait of a tortured soul. Abused and rejected, Thomas has only one outlet left - murder! Encouraged by the voices in his head, Thomas seeks out victim after victim as his crimes become ever more bloody. Now, he has targeted Ali (Shaffer) and her family. And, this confrontation will leave everyone scarred.

Made Me Do It will host its theatrical release, today, in Los Angeles. This release will be followed by another one on DVD and Digital platforms. In LA, this title will have at least seven showings, at the Arena Theater; filmmakers will be in attendance. On April 23rd, Indican will make this terrifying title available, across the United States, on home entertainment platforms. Horror fans will not want to miss this disturbing look at the creation of a killer, this month!

For more on the seven day theatrical launch visit the Arena website: http://arenascreen.com

The film’s official synopsis: After a lifetime of abuse and rejection Thomas Berkson has found unconditional love – through murder. He has become a serial killer following the voices in his head. Poor college student Ali Hooper, her little brother and ex-boyfriend find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. In this throwback to the classic 80’s slasher films comes this harrowing journey for survival against an unstoppable force of nature.

Director: Benjamin Ironside Koppin. Writers: Benjamin Ironside Koppin, Matthew John Koppin.

Cast: Anna B. Shaffer, Kyle Van Vonderen, Cortney Palm, Jason Gregory London, Liston Spence

More on Made Me Do It: https://www.indicanpictures.com/new-releases/made-me-do-it

The film’s official website: http://mademedoitthemovie.com/

About Indican Pictures
Indican Pictures acquires and distributes feature films to a broad range of entertainment outlets by providing a diverse selection of movies across: theatrical, home video, TV, VOD, PPV and streaming platforms.

MADE ME DO IT -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE SHADE SHEPHERD -- Movie Review by Porfle

I just got played. Big time. By a movie. A movie that I didn't think was going to be all that great, so I underestimated it, and let my guard down. And now, all I can say is...bravo.

Jack Ables (co-writer Jordon Hodges, SAND CASTLES, THE DARK KNIGHT) is a respected doctor whose wife Stacey (Caroline Newton, A PLACE IN HELL) is about to have a baby. Their relationship isn't perfect, but maybe with time they'll work things out.

Trouble is, Jack doesn't have that time right now, because his ne'er-do-well big brother Pike (Randy Spence, "Halt and Catch Fire", "Turn: Washington's Spies"), a heroin addict who's always in and out of trouble with the law, just woke up with a murder charge hanging over his head. He doesn't remember what happened, but chances are that won't matter much to the police.

THE SHADE SHEPHERD (Indican Pictures, 2019) is about Jack's decision to risk everything--his reputation, his marriage, his freedom, maybe even his life--by helping the luckless and now hunted brother escape to Canada.

Director Chris Faulisi (A PROPER VIOLENCE, SHIFT), handles the lean, tautly-suspenseful, and emotionally harrowing script he co-wrote with Hodges with just the right touch at every turn.

He's lucky to have a wonderful cast to work with, especially Randy Spence who plays Pike to the hilt as a frantic heroin addict going cold turkey, freaking out over every noise and shadow and wracked with guilt for what he's doing to his straight-arrow brother. 

As Jack, Hodges reminds me of a young Joe Pantoliano and is every bit as intense, putting us right there in his place as we feel the desperation of a man who must venture onto the way, way wrong side of the law for the love of his brother while also having to put his survival skills to the ultimate test as they flee cross-country with nothing but Jack's archery skills to sustain them.

All this sounds good, just right for some passable entertainment if handled as well as it is here.  And indeed that was going to be the gist of my review--an okay movie that you won't mind devoting some time to, with what I assumed would be a fairly satisfying ending.

And then, that "fairly satisfying ending" turns out to be like one of those carnival rides where you spin around real fast inside a big wheel before the bottom suddenly falls out and you're stuck to the wall wondering what just happened.

That's all I'm going to say about THE SHADE SHEPHERD.  I'd love to talk more about it, but let's wait until you've seen it too. I don't know if the twist ending is as good as the one in THE SIXTH SENSE, but right now, for however long it lasts, it sorta feels like it.


Buy it from Indican Pictures

TECH SPECS

Runtime: 90 minutes
Format: 1:78 HD
Sound: Dolby Sr.
Country: USA
Language: English

THE SHADE SHEPHERD -- Movie Review by Porfle

BALLET BLANC -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/4/19

 

If you're looking for something weird to watch--and I mean, really weird--look no further than writer-director Anne-Sophie Dutoit's BALLET BLANC (2018).  Because this is one seriously weird movie.

Dark, enigmatic, and practically unfathomable, it's the sort of deeply unsettling narrative that most people will either shrink away from pretty quick or else stay riveted to like a bird being hypnotized by a snake, helplessly waiting for it to strike.

A young orphan boy named Coco (Colter Carlbom-Mann), wearing long, girlish hair and dressed in a white tutu, silently dances a somber ballet during church choir practice while a witchy eccentric, Mrs. Willis (Shelley Starrett), looks on with an appreciative smile. She seems to be recognizing and/or evaluating his potential.

Before we know it, she has somehow adopted the troubled boy--whose parents recently died in a fire from which he narrowly escaped--and is now indoctrinating him, steeping him like a highly-absorbent teabag, in the bubbling cauldron of her own warped and deeply disturbing lifestyle and philosophies.

If any other movie had been photographed this dark, I'd probably think it a flaw. But BALLET BLANC belongs in the dark.

I won't even go into the extremes of strangeness to which both we and the regrettably very impressionable Coco are subjected under flickering candles or the fading glow of eerie twilight where unimaginable things are consumed, graves are exhumed, and the hapless social worker (Brian Woods) who arrives to investigate neighbors' complaints is, by our best guess, doomed.

Woods gains our sympathy playing a character with good intentions whose personal religious faith is seriously tested as things go from uncomfortable to insufferable during his traumatic visit. As the monstrous Mrs. Willis, Starrett out-weirds Susan Tyrell in a chilling, full-bodied performance. And Colter Carlbom-Mann is pretty amazing as Coco, the caterpillar who threatens to emerge from its cocoon a monster.

The film is intensely effective for most of its running time, stumbling only in the final act when the increasingly hostile Coco is being held under scrutiny in a white room and interrogated by mysterious people from behind a two-way glass.

Here, the tightly-knit story begins to unravel a bit as some conventional horror movie elements creep in to undermine our anticipation of a fully original and surprising finale.

Even so, horror fans looking for something immersively dark and disturbing should endeavor to experience BALLET BLANC. It's the sort of creepy-crawly chiller that grabs on and clings to you like a leech.


Read more about it at Indican Pictures

TECH SPECS
Runtime: 90 minutes
Format: 1:78 HD
Sound: Dolby Sr.
Country: USA
Language: English
Rating: Pending
Extras: Behind-the-scenes featurette

BALLET BLANC -- DVD Review by Porfle

BELOVED BEAST -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 4/23/19

 

An impressive, often brilliant horror-thriller that's miles above much of what's coming out of the genre these days, BELOVED BEAST (Indican Pictures, 2018) excells on almost all levels and comes off like something Quentin Tarantino might do if he really got serious about making a grim, mind-bending horror movie.

Nina (Sanae Loutsis) is the injured survivor of a car crash that kills her parents and puts her in the home of a surly, irresponsible aunt, Erma Ritz (Joy Yaholkovsky), who doesn't want her.  Erma's a dopehead who is friends with the lowest elements in town including its worst criminal, Ash (Earl Gray), who deals not only in drugs but human trafficking as well, and will soon set his sights on Nina.

Meanwhile, the biggest, craziest, scariest psycho ever (Jonathan Holbrook as "Milton Treadwell") has just turned the asylum into a corpse-strewn charnel house and escaped into the wild.  A horribly disfigured behemoth with the mind of a ten-year-old, Milton will eventually murder his way to Nina, who will mistake him for the Rabbit King in her favorite fantasy story that her parents used to read to her.

There's a lot of story contriving going on here, but it all works so well that we don't really care. Milton ends up wearing the big rabbit-head mask that belonged to Nina's father and protecting her from all potential harm, mainly by slinging a hefty wooden mallet that smashes skulls with one blow. 

Milton smashes a lot of skulls in this movie--sometimes those belonging to people who deserve a good skull smashing, and sometimes to nice people in the wrong place, wrong time.

But lest you think BELOVED BEAST is just some slasher/smasher flick, writer-director Jonathan Holbrook (TALL MEN, CUSTOMER 152) has crafted this thing like a true artiste, loading it to the gills with fascinating characters exchanging sharp, smart dialogue and situations that are either tongue-in-cheek funny (I love the scenes between the jaded police chief and his constantly appalled rookie deputy) or blood-chillingly grim (as when Ash meets "The Belgian", a bad guy so vile and inhuman that even he is taken aback). 

Direction and photography are top-notch, as is a cast of excellent actors making the most of their fully-rounded, often eccentric characters, each of whom contributes added delight to the story.  The narrative often lapses into a sort of fever dream quality, as when Erma's drug-fueled house party turns surreal or Nina's head injury has her imagining rabbit-headed, hammer-wielding Milton as her fairytale savior.

Switching easily between horror film and ultra-gritty crime thriller that's occasionally dipped in delirium, BELOVED BEAST is one of the most heady, engaging, and thoroughly entertaining movies I've seen in the last ten years. It's only flaw is its length--at almost three hours, the ending is stretched out way longer than necessary--but its overall awesomeness more than makes up for being a bit too much of a good thing. 

BELOVED BEAST -- Movie Review by Porfle

WHAT'S EATING TODD? -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 10/18/16

 

Surely one of the oddest film genres ever is the "stalker vs. terrified teen campers" flick.  The basics are always the same, the only variable being what stalks and terrifies the teen campers.  How much or how little actual imagination goes into that aspect can make the difference between whether it's a worthwhile effort or just another negligible knock-off.

In the case of director Renata Green-Gaber's debut feature WHAT'S EATING TODD? (2016), the "what" in the title gives it that little extra bit of horror appeal that keeps the film from being the usual shaggy dog story littered with boring dead teens.  One thing's for sure--it ain't the same thing that was eating Gilbert Grape! 

After a promising opening in which a factory in the middle of the woods is attacked by what appears (in several effective shock-cuts) to be a horde of flesh-eating zombies, we jump ahead several years to join birthday boy Todd himself (Adam Michael Gold, THE Z) and his girlfriend Valerie (Madison Lawlor, CLOSE RANGE, RISE OF THE VALKYRIE) as they set off on a camping trip with their buddies Alex (Phil Biedron) and Duane (Scott Alin).

Here's the catch: the spot they choose as their campsite, for some damn reason, is none other than the abandoned, rusted-out factory where we just saw people being eaten alive by zombies.  (I guess if you're going to foreshadow there's no point in fooling around.)  So now, we need only watch our hapless teens have a camping-out fun montage (which, naturally, includes getting wasted) and wait for whatever horrible thing that's going to happen to them to happen. 

This time the group's too small to include all the usual stereotypes--none is particularly jock-ish, they're ALL pretty much weed-head goofballs, and since there's only one girl (who is neither slutty nor overly prudish) we don't have to wonder who the "final girl" is going to be.

The resident "dick", in fact, is Todd's Uncle Carl (Danny Rio), who drops them off at the site in his pickup and stays around just long enough to recount the scary "urban legend" about the old factory that makes everyone wet their panties before he drives away cackling.  He also points out the fact that they're in a "dead zone" which means (uh-oh) no cell phones!

Needless to say, they spend the afternoon having massive amounts of fun doing the camping out thing, which neither I nor any of my friends in high school ever thought would be even remotely fun to do so I guess we really missed out.  Anyway, once that's over and they've all gotten sufficiently stoned around the campfire, Todd wanders off to "commune with nature", so to speak, and is never seen again.

What follows is the standard procedure for movies like this, with the search for their friend leading to more attacks, the discovery of a mutilated corpse or two, lots of unbridled panic, ugly recriminations and tortured personal confessions, and of course the gradual one-by-one lessening of the immediate population. 

For the most part, the acting isn't quite stellar (especially when the need to express constant hysteria sets in) and the script tends to be short on logic and long on dumb dialogue.  But director Green-Gaber does a capable job and actually manages to keep the suspense level fairly high in the second half.

This is helped by the introduction of a new character, a gun-toting poacher (Carlos Antonio) with a car parked nearby, giving the surviving teens a possible means of escape as they're being stalked by the horrific flesh-munching boogeyman lurking around out in the dark.  Other good points include some nice gore makeups and an outstanding original score by Andy Georges.
 
WHAT'S EATING TODD? is not all that great, to be sure, but at least the filmmakers are trying and it's sort of fun in its own dumb way if you watch with lowered expectations.  I was ready to give it an overall negative review, and yet when it was over I actually heard myself saying, "Hmm...that was pretty good."  So I guess it was pretty good!

Tech Specs
Runtime: 89 minutes
Format: 1:85 Flat (35mm)
Sound: Dolby SR
Rating: R (equivalent)
Country: USA
Language: English
Genre: Thriller/Sci-Fi

www.Facebook.com/WhatsEatingTodd
http://www.indicanpictures.com/indicanpictures/whats-eating-todd/

WHAT'S EATING TODD? -- Movie Review by Porfle

A BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO SNUFF -- Movie Review by Porfle

 Originally posted on 6/26/17

 

A BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO SNUFF (2016) is like comedy-revenge porn for all the poor, hapless victims--especially the pretty girls--who were snuffed in torture porn flicks over the years.  The catch: the killers are just pretending this time, but the victim doesn't know that.  And when she gets away...

The pretend-killers are aspiring (and perspiring) actors Dresden and Dominic, brothers from the sticks who just can't catch a break in Hollywood.  In desperation, the less stable one, Dresden (Joey Kern, SUPER TROOPERS, ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN ARE UNDEAD), hatches a plan in which they hold a fake casting call, kidnap the most promising actress in the bunch, and film a fake snuff film that will (in Dresden's clouded mind) win first prize in a film contest and make them famous.

All they have to do, he figures, is to take it to the brink and then reveal that it's all fake to the actress, who will then thank them for the opportunity for fame.  Weak-willed brother Dominic (Luke Edwards, MOTHER'S BOYS, AMERICAN PIE 2) protests at first but eventually agrees, and all goes according to plan...until Dresden starts to take it all a little too seriously, and before Dominic knows it, he--and their unwilling actress--are caught up in an honest-to-goodness real snuff film.

 

Naturally, this would be horrible if we took it seriously for a second, but it's practically a live-action cartoon, so that's not really a problem.  (Not at first, anyway.)  There are some very amusing setpieces such as the actress audition montage ("Could you do that again, only this time do it as though you were a good actress?")

Naturally, the last one is THE one, and is she ever--Jennifer (Bree Williamson, "One Life to Live", "General Hospital") is the perfect gorgeous, self-confident, outgoing babe to help elevate these guys' piece-of-crap film project into something at least marginally watchable.  BEGINNER'S GUIDE itself isn't a laugh riot, but it doesn't really try to be. It's just a consistently smart and amusing spoof that's sharply-done and fun to watch.

But that's the first half.  The thing is, once they actually kidnap Jennifer and their whole plan is put into motion, things start to get real.  Maybe even too real to be funny, depending on your tolerance level.

 

It's hard to maintain a premise like this as a funny ha-ha joke when we're seeing a couple of psychotic-acting guys (and let's face it, Dresden really is a psycho, while Dominic's insipid acquiescence to him is bad enough in itself) and a terrified girl whom we've learned to like. 

And yet, as the film gets more violent, I begin to realize that director Mitchell Altieri is messing with me and my expectations big-time.  Is it a harmless gore-movie spoof?  Is it a funny (but in a really sick way) torture porn flick?  Does it really even know what it is?  My final answer: all of the above.

After the initial "Dresden goes too far" sequence, the movie doesn't really lighten up again until Jennifer gets away (I'm only revealing what the trailer already shows, so no spoiler here) and turns the tables on her captors in a big, bloody way.  Which, by this time, is uncomfortable in a traditional torture-porn kind of way but with an off-kilter premise that keeps twisting one way and then the other.

 

Technically, it's a mix of conventional photography and "found footage" style which works pretty well most of the time.  Performances are outstanding, totally manic and intense, with Bree Williamson a very dynamic Jennifer and Joey Kern giving us a Dresden who grows more despicably unhinged and narcissistic by the minute. 

A BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO SNUFF wants to keep us off-balance, uncomfortable, and wondering what the hell we're watching, and in that respect, it succeeds.  I think gorehounds and torture porn aficionados will especially enjoy it, as well as those who prefer their humor dark and demented.  I had mixed feelings at the end, but was glad I watched it because it's definitely a trip. 


Tech Specs
Runtime: 87mins
Format: 1:78 HD
Sound: Dolby SR
Country: USA
Language: English
Website: www.IndicanPictures.com
Genre: Horror


Release Date: June 23, 2017 (Theatrical, Los Angeles) & July 11th, 2017 (VOD, DVD)

The film’s official trailer

More details on the film are available at Indican Pictures:

Read our original coverage

A BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO SNUFF -- Movie Review by Porfle

BONNIE & CLYDE VS. DRACULA -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 3/13/11

 

It's fun to see filmmakers take a low budget, apply hefty amounts of talent and imagination, and totally ace it.  It's also fun to see a movie called BONNIE & CLYDE VS. DRACULA (2009) in which the infamous outlaws actually do go up against the King of the Undead.  And it certainly doesn't hurt if Tiffany Shepis gives a stunning performance as Bonnie and happens to get nekkid along the way, too.

The film opens with Bonnie Parker (Shepis) and Clyde Barrow (Trent Haaga, who wrote the incredible DEADGIRL) driving the backroads of the deep South, looking for a place to hide out.  Meeting up with old crony Henry (F. Martin Glynn) at a roadside whorehouse run by crotchety old Jake (T. Max Graham), they embark on a scheme to make fast money by swindling some moonshiners.  Bullets fly and a doctor's aid is needed, so Bonnie is sent to the spooky mansion of Dr. Loveless (Allen Lowman), who, as it turns out, is harboring none other than Count Dracula himself. 

Writer-director Timothy Friend doesn't use this outrageous subject matter as an excuse to make a stupid movie.  Indeed, much of BONNIE & CLYDE VS. DRACULA could be a pretty nifty low-rent gangster flick on its own if not for the horrific cutaways to Loveless' mansion along the way.  When the outlaw pair finally do meet the ghouls, we get to see them react in realistic style (shock and outrage, followed by lots and lots of bullets) with the humor coming mostly from the incongruity of the situation.  Russell Friend's impressive-looking Dracula also strikes a good balance between dry wit and genuine supernatural menace, as do his hordes of fanged, blood-craving minions.



Thanks to Friend's deft direction and some superior cinematography, the film looks great.  Artistic lighting and rich colors combine with good costuming and sets to give everything an authentic period feel.  Some shots, in fact, have a pictorial splendor that is suitable for framing.  The synthesizer score by Joseph Allen enhances the off-kilter aura of the story nicely.

Trent Haaga makes a fine Clyde, alternately goodnatured and ruthless, but Shepis steals the show as a sassy, sexy, and bloodthirsty Bonnie.  Her performance is stellar and she milks every line of tough-gal dialogue for all it's worth--I don't think Warren Beatty could've handled her.  She's a joy to look at too, as when she gets the last word in an argument with Clyde simply by standing up in the bathtub.  (I found myself speechless as well.)  In addition to pulling off a more than passable Southern accent, Shepis also handles a Tommy gun or pump shotgun with gleeful abandon and don't take no guff from nobody, alive or undead.



Another standout in the cast is co-producer Jennifer Friend (writer-producer of CADAVERELLA) as Dr. Loveless' simpleminded sister, Annabel.  With an electric restraint collar locked around her neck, the childlike Annabel is forced to help Dr. Loveless in his dastardly scientific endeavors although she'd rather dance and sing and play her harmonica, and put on "The Annabel Show" in her bedroom.  Well, I just fell in love with her and think she's adorable.  I could watch "The Annabel Show" anytime.  Her final scenes during the gangsters vs. vampires melee raise the film to a totally unexpected level that had me glowing with admiration for both the actress and the filmmakers.

The DVD from Indican Pictures is in 2.35:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital 2.0 sound.  No subtitles.  The screener I reviewed didn't have extras, but the DVD should include two trailers, a behind-the-scenes featurette, "Loveless Viral Video", and a cast-and-crew commentary track.

Hardly the intentionally-bad, "it sucks, so it's fun" type of yuckfest the title suggests, BONNIE & CLYDE VS. DRACULA distills solid acting, a sharp screenplay, hardboiled action, Gothic horror, and a delightfully wicked sense of humor into something that adventurous genre fans should lap up like moonshine out of a Mason jar. 

BONNIE & CLYDE VS. DRACULA -- DVD Review by Porfle