PLANET TERROR / DEATH PROOF -- Movie Reviews by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 10/21/09. Contains spoilers.

 

If you grew up going to big, dark, seedy movie theaters or rundown drive-ins that showed battered, tattered, spliced-and-diced prints of cheap exploitation flicks--and loving every minute of it-- then Robert Rodriguez' incredibly well-rendered homage to all that great stuff, PLANET TERROR (2007), just might be more fun than you can handle. 

 Originally part of the Rodriguez-Tarantino team-up GRINDHOUSE, which also featured QT's roadkill thriller DEATH PROOF, PLANET TERROR now stands alone on DVD in an extended, unrated version that is pure adrenaline-fueled goofy fun from beginning to end. 

The movie plunks us smack-dab into the old grindhouse atmosphere right off the bat with original "prevues of coming attractions" and "our feature presentation" clips, along with a kickass, spot-on trailer parody for a fictitious flick called MACHETE starring the ever-popular Danny Trejo as a blade-wielding badass for hire. It's only a couple of minutes long, but it contains enough outrageous action clips and gravely-intoned taglines ("If you're going to hire him to kill the bad guy--you'd better make damn sure the bad guy isn't YOU!") to make us wish it was a real movie. (Which it soon will be, apparently--according to IMDb, Rodriguez is preparing MACHETE for an 2010 release.) 

After a vintage clip informing us that the following movie is intended for adults only, PLANET TERROR kicks in full blast with a title sequence featuring scantily-clad star Rose McGowan doing a very energetic pole-dance in a seedy Texas club. Holy G-strings, Batman! I don't know how you'll react, but it got my full attention. Rose is definitely lookin' good these days. 

Her character, Cherry Darling, quits the club in the not-too-likely hope of becoming a stand-up comedian. On the walk home she's almost run over by a convoy of vehicles on its way to an abandoned military base. Here, a shady deal goes down between greedy scientist Abby (Naveen Andrews, "Lost") and a group of renegade soldiers led by Lt. Muldoon (Bruce Willis) concerning a mysterious toxic gas called DC-2. The soldiers, it turns out, have been exposed to the gas and now need to inhale it in measured doses to counteract its horrific effects. But the deal erupts into a bloody gunfight, and before long a cloud of DC-2 is headed toward town. 

Meanwhile, Cherry runs into her old lover Wray (Freddy Rodríguez, "Six Feet Under") in a roadside barbecue joint called The Bone Shack, which is run by the grizzled J.T. Hague (an almost unrecognizable Jeff Fahey). Cherry bums a ride home in Wray's wrecker truck, but they're attacked by some flesh-eating DC-2 zombies who make off with Cherry's right leg. 

At the hospital, soon-to-become-zombies are pouring into the emergency ward, where Josh Brolin is doing his best Nick Nolte imitation as the burnt-out, hypochondriac Dr. Block. Block is preoccupied by the fact that his wife, Dakota (Marley Shelton, SIN CITY) is having an affair with another woman played by "Fergie" of the Black-Eyed Peas, Stacy Ferguson. But he'll have more pressing concerns on his hands when the hospital begins to fill up with pus-spewing, gut-chomping zombies. 

Wray gets hauled off to jail by Sheriff Hauge (Michael Biehn), who has had previous legal troubles with him. The sheriff is J.T.'s brother, and one of the funniest running gags in the film is him desperately trying to coerce J.T. into sharing his secret barbecue sauce recipe with him. But while he's booking Wray for whatever he can think of, zombies strike the police station in force and there's another extremely bloody battle. Wray eventually makes his way back to the hospital to rescue Cherry, ramming a table leg onto the end of her stump in lieu of a more traditional prosthesis. 

The "Lt. Dan"-style missing-leg effects are awesome here, especially when Wray later replaces the table leg with a machine gun/grenade launcher that turns Cherry into one of the coolest warrior women in movie history. Yet another awesome shoot-em-up scene occurs at the besieged, flame-engulfed barbecue joint, where the non-infected survivors have congregated and we discover that Wray is really El Wray. The significance of this is never explained (not only does the film "melt" during the big sex scene, but there's actually a missing reel!) but it's enough to convince Sheriff Hague, who tells his deputy, "Give him a gun. Give him all the guns." 

The survivors' flight down the highway in whatever escape vehicles they can scrounge up is a thrilling sequence highlighted by the sheriff bashing zombie pedestrians to bloody smithereens in Wray's wrecker while Wray heads the convoy on a tiny pocket bike. The finale occurs at the old military base after they've all been detained by Lt. Muldoon and his renegade soldiers. Tarantino turns up as a lecherous psycho who tries to act out his women-in-cages fantasies with Cherry and Dakota, and ends up "getting the point", so to speak. His performance has been derided by some, but Tarantino knows exactly what kind of character he's playing and does it to a tee. (He also gets to perform the film's biggest gross-out scene, and boy, is it gross.) 

The good guys eventually escape from their cells and battle their way toward a helicopter, and not only does everything blow up real good but Cherry gets a mind-boggling opportunity to display her newly-developed battle skills in one of the coolest scenes ever. All of this weird, wild stuff is wrought with all the directorial skills, grindhouse nostalgia, and giddy Monster Kid glee that Robert Rodriguez can muster. Once this thing gets started, it's non-stop over-the-top action all the way, drenched in gouts of fake blood 'n' guts and brimming with all the wonderful 70s exploitation elements Rodriguez can cram into it. 

Stylistically, it's a near-perfect homage, complete with scratchy film, bad edits and splices to give it the look of an old, battered print that's been shown too many times, arch dialogue, and special effects that are well-rendered while being intentionally cheesy-looking. With the DVD's audience-reaction track activated, which to me is the only way to watch this film, it's like sitting in a cheap theater back in the old days. Rodriguez' conviction to go all the way with this concept has resulted in one of the most fun movies I've ever seen. 

The entire cast is outstanding. Michael Parks returns as Texas Ranger Earl McGraw, a character that has appeared in Rodriguez' FROM DUSK TILL DAWN and Tarantino's KILL BILL and is further developed here. Gore makeup master Tom Savini and the original "El Mariachi" himself, Carlos Gallardo, appear as deputies. Rodriguez' twin nieces, Elise and Electra Avellán, play the Crazy Babysitter Twins, who should definitely be in their own movie. And his son Rebel does a nice job as the Blocks' young son, Tony, who loves tarantulas and scorpions but should never be trusted with a gun. 

This DVD is one of the best Christmas gifts I ever got. Rarely have I had this much pure, unadulterated fun watching a movie. Of course, if you're one of those people who post on IMDb asking puzzled questions like "what's with all the scratches?" or pointing out all the obvious "goofs" and "gaffes", this movie probably isn't for you. But if you're an old-school flick fan who gets what Robert Rodriguez is up to here from the git-go, then chances are PLANET TERROR is an exploitation extravaganza that will be held over for an extended run in your home grindhouse theater.  

 

Having gone ga-ga over PLANET TERROR, I couldn't wait to see the other half of the GRINDHOUSE double-feature he and collaborator Quentin Tarantino unleashed on widely unsuspecting audiences in '07. QT's muscle-car mayhem epic DEATH PROOF, while not as over-the-top awesome as Rodriguez' film, is still a pure, giddy joy that revels in the down and dirty delights of its low-budget inspirations. 

We're first introduced to four lovely young wimmins cruising the Tex-Mex diners and bars of Austin, Texas, yakking endlessly about guys and planning an all-girl party at Lake LBJ. There's the petite blonde, Shanna (Cheryl Ladd's daughter Jordan of HOSTEL PART II and CABIN FEVER), leather-clad tough chick Lanna-Frank (Monica Staggs), sexy Brooklyn gal Butterfly (Vanessa Ferlito), and locally-famous radio DJ Jungle Julia (Sydney Tamiia Poitier, Sidney's daughter). 

Rose McGowan, the star of PLANET TERROR, plays a smaller role here as Pam, Julia's grade-school rival who shows up at the Texas Chili Parlor run by Warren (Tarantino) while the girls are there partying with some horny guys that include a funny Eli Roth (HOSTEL). And, for the record, PLANET TERROR's ever-popular Crazy Babysitter Twins are there as well. 

Also sitting at the bar stuffing himself with nacho platters is the burly, scarfaced Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell), a washed-up Hollywood stuntman who takes an interest in the girls and, through a series of circumstances, ends up getting a lap dance from Butterfly in a steamy set-piece. While Stuntman Mike seems friendly enough, there's something creepy and vaguely dangerous about him. 

But Pam needs a ride home and climbs into his black '69 Dodge Charger, which, as Mike tells her, is so heavily-reinforced for stuntwork as to be "death proof." This, however, only applies to the person behind the wheel, which Pam finds out to her immense regret as soon as they hit the street. 

The first half of DEATH PROOF has the same battered, scratchy, spliced-to-hell look of PLANET TERROR, which should bring back fond memories to anyone who's actually been in a grindhouse or watched a midnight show where the print was as old as they are. For me, the nostalgic joy began in the very first seconds as soon as I heard that awesome bass line from Jack Nitszche's VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS theme, otherwise known as "The Last Race." Then the title, which, for a split second, is "Quentin Tarantino's Thunder Bolt" until the words "DEATH PROOF" are crudely spliced in, mimicking the look of all those cheap films that have been re-released under different titles. Another jarring splice cuts the title sequence short and dumps us into the movie proper. 

 Later, reel changes are clearly heralded by splotchy indicators and one of the biggest moments of the film, Butterfly's lap dance for Stuntman Mike, ends abruptly due to missing footage. This is the kind of stuff that will mean nothing to a lot of viewers, and in fact seems to put many of them off--which is probably one of the main reasons public reaction to this movie has been so divided--but it makes me as giddy as a schoolgirl. 

What happens midway through DEATH PROOF is one of the most thrilling and totally unexpected scenes of recent years--I had to rewind and watch it two or three times just convince myself that this flabbergasting event really happened. Then, after a denouement which features yet another welcome appearance by Michael Parks' Texas Ranger character Earl McGraw, who got his brains blown out way back in FROM DUSK TILL DAWN but refuses to die, the movie blinks forward fourteen months and transports us to Lebanon, Tennessee, where Stuntman Mike is up to his old tricks again. 

This time, we meet four more young women who are in town for the making of a softcore "cheerleader" movie. Rosario Dawson (SIN CITY) is makeup artist Abbie, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead is the movie's cutie-pie star, Lee. Their two friends are hardcore stuntwomen Kim (Tracie Thoms) and real-life stuntwoman Zoë Bell, who plays herself. Zoë's dream is to drive a white 1970 Dodge Challenger with a 440 engine, just like the one in VANISHING POINT. 

 Sure enough, there's a guy in town with one for sale, and before long, the girls (minus Lee) are out for a pedal-to-the-metal test drive that includes a hair-raising stunt called "Ship's Mast" with Zoë sprawled across the car's hood. This, of course, is when Stuntman Mike makes a surprise reappearance, crashing into the Challenger and then trying to run it off the road in a prolonged, stunt-packed pursuit over rural roads and highways. 

 Having a real stuntwoman playing a main role adds to the excitement because we see her face the whole time and know she's really doing all of this dangerous and thrilling stuff herself. Tarantino also uses legendary veterans such as Buddy Joe Hooker and Terry Leonard for the driving stunts, allowing him to indulge his imagination with some of the most incredible set-ups ever filmed. "Adrenaline-charged" would be an apt way to describe this harrowing car chase sequence, all the way up to the truly kooky ending in which the girls turn the tables on ol' Stuntman Mike. 

 The battered-print look disappears in DEATH PROOF's second half, as though we're now seeing another kind of exploitation flick--perhaps the more upper-scale stuff (GONE IN SIXTY SECONDS, VANISHING POINT, et al) that Kim and Zoë like to gush about. One thing that remains consistent throughout the movie, though, is Quentin Tarantino's well-known obsession with female feet. If you're a foot fetishist too, you'll love this movie from the very first frame, as this appears to be Tarantino's substitute for the gratuitous "boob shots" often seen in the usual grindhouse fare. 

There's also an abundance of big butts, gorgeous legs, and stuffed shirts, all lovingly photographed by a gleefully leering QT. Sydney Tamiia Poitier, in particular, proves a highly photogenic focus for such directorial indulgence. I'm not complaining. 

I have heard complaints that much of the girls' dialogue scenes in this movie are too ponderous and not as witty or clever as the "royale with cheese"-type stuff from PULP FICTION. Me, I just like to hear Tarantino's characters talk, even when it isn't all deliciously quotable. These long yakkity-yak scenes also help us get to know the characters before they're subjected to extreme terror and peril by Stuntman Mike. As the crazed highway stalker, Kurt Russell is simply wonderful. Relaxed, jovial, but somehow not quite right, Mike is a great character and Russell is obviously having a ball playing him. 

Tarantino has already wowed the mainstream with RESERVOIR DOGS and PULP FICTION--here he's content to give us old-time, pre-multiplex movie fans like himself a thoroughly entertaining thrill ride down memory lane in a souped-up exploitation flick with a defiant get-it-or-don't attitude. Like PLANET TERROR, the other half of this heartfelt love letter to grindhouse fans, DEATH PROOF doesn't need mainstream acceptance to validate it or make it good. It's critic-proof.

 

 

PLANET TERROR / DEATH PROOF -- Movie Reviews by Porfle

AXE / KIDNAPPED COED -- Blu-ray + CD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 3/31/22

 

Sometimes a disc falls into my hot little hands which is an all-round cinematic experience in itself, and goes beyond simply watching a movie or two and some extras. Severin Films' new 2-disc set, AXE/KIDNAPPED COED (one Blu-ray disc, one soundtrack CD) is just such a heady film-fan experience. 

Representing the entire filmic output of 70s independent writer/producer/actor/director Frederick R. Friedel (save for an obscure 2000 comedy called MY NEXT FUNERAL), it's a saga of how someone with a little money and a lot of talent made his mark in the regional movie industry, had his films robbed from him by a crooked distributor, and finally found a "rainbow at the end of the storm" decades later when his work was rediscovered by a whole new audience of fervidly appreciative fans.

Watching the first film, AXE, aka "Lisa, Lisa" (1974), my initial impression was that this guy Friedel is one of those creative talents who can take the kind of budget and resources usually reserved for the lowest drive-in dregs and work a kind of rough-hewn magic with them.  Even as the film's look and feel still have that unavoidable bottom-drawer ambience, there's something sharply intelligent about the camerawork and editing, as well as performances by a uniformly fine cast, which elevates it all into a much higher realm of watchability.

Two plotlines are introduced which will eventually intertwine--in one, three gangsters are on the lam after having dispatched some unlucky mug in his cheap hotel room, in luridly violent fashion.  Jack Canon plays Steele, the icily psychotic leader, Ray Green the equally sadistic thug Lomax, and Friedel himself is Billy, a novice criminal still hampered by a nagging conscience.  After the murder, they disappear into the North Carolina backwoods to find a place to lay low for awhile.

This brings them into a collision with plotline number two, in which a curiously disaffected young girl named Lisa (Leslie Lee) is the sole caretaker for her catatonic grandfather (Douglas Powers) in a remote two-storey farmhouse.  Scarcely into her teens, Lisa already seems shell-shocked by life, and barely reacts when Steele, Lomax, and Billy forcibly invite themselves to stay. 

While Lisa's deceptively placid countenance hides a fierce inner turmoil, the evil men now invading her life force her to take overt actions to defend herself.  This comes to a head when Lomax enters her bedroom at night with bad intent, and Lisa displays an aptitude for slicing and dicing heretofore reserved for chickens.

 

This is where AXE starts to live up to its lurid trailers and print ads (which scream the tagline "At last...total terror!"), with winsome nutcase Lisa wielding a straight razor and an axe in bloody fashion without ever breaking that strangely calm but troubled fascade.  Still, the film is never in the same league as THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE (alternate titles include CALIFORNIA AXE MASSACRE and THE VIRGIN SLAUGHTER) nor does it try to be.  It's mainly a compelling and pleasingly morbid character study with splashes of gore but little that could be called "graphic", although that didn't stop it from being condemned as one of England's infamous "video nasties" of the 80s.

As for the cast, the leads couldn't be better.  Leslie Lee is an ideal Lisa, pretty but strange, her sad face always interesting to look at as you wonder what the heck's going on behind it.  As Steele, Jack Canon is a classic big-screen tough guy that you just can't look away from.  He'd have been perfect as the lead in one of those tacky 70s or 80s TV cop shows like "Hunter"--as it is, one can only wonder why he never went farther as an actor.  Ray Green's bloated Lomax is sleaze personified, and Friedel himself, bearded and Brillo-haired, is a convincingly conflicted Billy who ends up trying to help Lisa. 

As a director, Friedel takes his time and lingers artistically over every sequence as much as the brisk shooting schedule allowed, drawing out every nuance of visual interest possible while admittedly playing fast and loose with the script.  An early scene of Steele and Lomax terrorizing a poor convenience store clerk (Carole Miller) is like a foretaste of Oliver Stone's NATURAL BORN KILLERS.  Never one to rely on sheer exploitation, Friedel shoots this and Lisa's rape scene later in the film--as well as the subsequent killings--not just as visceral exploitation but as an opportunity to indulge in a form of raw cinematic poetry.

Wanting to fully explore the potential he saw in Jack Canon during the making of AXE, Friedel then concocted the entire screeplay for his follow-up film KIDNAPPED COED, aka "Kidnapped Lover" (1976) around the actor's charismatic appeal.  Thus, Canon appears in almost every single scene and makes the most of his screen time with a performance that should've been a ticket to broader fame.

Equally compelling is young Leslie Ann Rivers as ginger-haired, bespectacled Sandra, a well-to-do teenage "coed" whom small-time crook Eddie Matlock (Canon) abducts in hopes of a big ransom.  Both actors have faces that are fascinating to look at and naturalistic acting styles that bring their characters to life. 

Friedel has a bigger budget here (around $40,000) which allows for more elaborate camera moves and other relative indulgences that really pay off in the movie's look and style.  Again, he takes plenty of time for character development as the two leads get to know each other and gradually even form a tentative romantic relationship, all done in a series of quirky exchanges taking place during some wildly unexpected situations.

These include a brutal, Scorsese-esque sequence in which both are attacked in their seedy hotel room by a couple of violent thugs who force their way in at gunpoint so that they can beat up Eddie and rape the horrified Sandra in another scene that's stunningly executed.  Continuing the theme that this just isn't his day, Eddie later encounters unfriendly shotgun-wielding farmers while simply trying to get water for his car radiator, and finally ends up in a life-or-death struggle against another bearish farmer who has just welcomed him and Sandra into his home before suddenly going pitchfork-wielding berserk. 

As all this happens to them, Eddie and Sandra's relationship wanders through different stages as the film itself passes, with varying degrees of finesse, through such disparate genres as thriller, horror, action, character drama, quirky romance, and even comedy.  Friedel admits in the commentary that he doesn't even remember whether or not there was a written screenplay for the film, but this only contributes to its off-kilter charm.  Mainly, though, it's Canon and Rivers that keep our eyes glued to this wildly uneven but compelling little film right up to its abrupt and somewhat anti-climactic ending.

The full story surrounding these two films from conception to oblivion (and, lucky for us, joyous rediscovery) is recounted in the hour-long bonus documentary "At Last… Total Terror! – The Incredible True Story of AXE & KIDNAPPED COED", which sees the warm reunion of Friedel and several key members of his production team who also gather to provide excellent commentary tracks for both films.

"Moose Magic – The George Newman Shaw & John Willhelm Story" (38 mins) tells of the two young musical geniuses who scored the films shortly before their tragic demise in a car accident.  Shining lights in the Charlotte, North Carolina music scene, these wonderfully creative and eclectic musicians contributed some offbeat, often minimalistic tracks to AXE and KIDNAPPED COED that are preserved in this set's second disc, a music CD which also includes several bonus tracks of the duo's non-movie-related jazz compositions that provide scintillating listening. 

A ten-minute interview with author Stephen Thrower ("Nightmare USA"), who helped bring Friedel and his films to the attention of new audiences, is followed by several trailers and TV spots for them. 

No doubt the oddest of all the bonus features is the full-length feature film BLOODY BROTHERS, which is actually a later re-edit by Friedel of both AXE and KIDNAPPED COED into one strange, disjointed narrative in which Jack Canon's "Steele" and "Eddie Matlock" characters are presented as identical twins unaware of each other's existence.  Their unrelated stories are intercut with little rhyme or reason, while recurring intertitles tell us that the two are gradually drawing closer to one another ("Five miles away", "One mile away", "1/2 mile away", etc.)

Since we know they'll never meet, we wonder what this is all leading up to, if anything. The main interest is seeing which scenes Friedel decides to include and how he cross-edits them, as well as what he leaves out, including the entire subplot of Eddie and his mom.  There's one scene that's entirely new, which shows Eddie on the beach performing a Jewish prayer ceremony even though he isn't Jewish.

This interesting oddity comes with another winning commentary track by Stephen Thrower. I really can't say how it would play for someone who hasn't already seen the two films on their own. 

Severin Films has restored AXE and KIDNAPPED COED from the original negatives (rescuing these from movie purgatory is part of the main documentary's gripping story) for this HD Blu-ray release, which is in 1.85:1 widescreen and mono sound.  No subtitles. 

AXE, KIDNAPPED COED, and their bastard sibling BLOODY BROTHERS, along with the abundance of extras that go along with them, add up to several hours of movie watching that are engrossing, enriching, and just plain fun.  It's all very satisfying in an exploitation vein, but not only that, Friedel's low-budget films are small-scale artistic wonders which yield all sorts of aesthetic rewards and make one wish he'd done more before being soured on the business. Rather than "so bad, they're good", his films are actually so good, they're great.



Stills used are not taken from the Blu-ray.

AXE / KIDNAPPED COED -- Blu-ray + CD Review by Porfle

DEAD OF WINTER -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

(This review originally appeared online at Bumscorner.com in 2007.)

After having LSD secretly slipped into their drinks at a New Year's Eve party, Kevin (Al Santos, JEEPERS CREEPERS II) and his girlfriend Tiffany (Sandra McCoy, CRY WOLF) spend a terrifying night lost in the icy-cold woods, fleeing from a killer who may or may not be a figment of their drug-addled imaginations in 2007's DEAD OF WINTER (aka LOST SIGNAL). 

Prolific television actor Brian McNamara makes his directing debut while also playing the small-town police chief trying to locate the missing pair.  He does a pretty good job in both capacities, managing to squeeze a fair amount of suspense out of a script that consists mainly of Kevin and Tiffany running through the woods screaming and hallucinating a lot.  He also handles some of the character scenes nicely, especially the comeraderie between the easygoing chief (McNamara) and his staff, sassy 911 operator Nancy (Ella Joyce, BUBBA HO-TEP) and cute deputy Dani (Lindsay Thompson), with whom he's sweetly smitten.

The question of whether or not there's really someone after Kevin and Tiffany remains intriguing throughout most of the story, with the main characters' severely altered mental states causing them to experience some pretty weird things.  When they happen upon a group of workmen standing in the middle of a dark field and are unable to communicate with the silent, unmoving figures, it's "Twilight Zone" territory.  

When a snowcat suddenly comes to life and tries to mow them down, we get a vibe similar to DUEL or KILLDOZER.  And when Kevin finally goes off the deep end and suspects Tiffany of being the one trying to kill him, there's a reprise of the final sequence from THE SHINING in which Kevin even quotes Nicholson's Jack Torrence:  "I'm not gonna hurt ya, Tiffany...I'm just gonna bash your f**kin' brains in!" 

The icy, moonlit forest scenes have an eerie look to them and the production values are generally good.  I found myself wishing Ryan Demaree's musical score had eased off the "eleven" button a bit more often, though.  The cast, especially McNamara, Joyce, and Thompson, do the best they can with their roles, and while the two leads aren't all that impressive, they manage to convey prolonged terror and disorientation pretty well. 

Ultimately, DEAD OF WINTER is nothing special, but it's just well-done enough to make it fairly entertaining.  The closing scenes have a surprising emotional depth, and there's a final revelation before the credits which, while hardly mind-boggling, still wraps things up with a mildly satisfying twist.  I didn't regret sitting through it, but it's strictly a take-it-or-leave-it sort of flick. 

DEAD OF WINTER -- Movie Review by Porfle

SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 12/4/13

 

A mix of the "spooky old house" and "axe murderer on the loose" genres, SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT (1972) is hardly the campy-fun slasher-trash fest I expected.  In fact, there isn't an ounce of humor, intentional or otherwise, in this somber, wintry horror tale.

The gravely-intoned prologue, in which the Mayor's daughter Diane Adams (Mary Woronov, EATING RAOUL, ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL) reflects on  the horrible events surrounding the old Butler mansion at the edge of town, is enough to let us know that we're in for a depressing time,  It all has to do with the house's original owner, Wilfred Butler (Philip Bruns,  "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman"), his mysterious death by fire, and the tragic fate of his daughter, Marianne. 

When his grandson Jeffrey (James Patterson, IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT) disobeys the stipulation in his will that the house remain untouched and unsold, a mysterious killer begins stalking the premises to make sure that whoever goes in doesn't come out.

Cue Jeffrey's lawyer John Carter (a typically urbane, laid-back Patrick O'Neal) and his secretary-slash-mistress Ingrid (the way-cute Astrid Heeren),  who decide to spend a night in the house while finalizing the details of its impending sale.  As if this isn't enough to stir things up, Jeffrey himself returns just in time to endure a night of murder and mayhem that will leave the quiet little town littered with corpses.  His uneasy alliance with Diane will result in them ending up right in the middle of the film's horrific climax. 

The confusing story will eventually yield a nice surprise or two, but it's basically just an excuse for the filmmakers to see how much of a dreary and oppressive gloom 'n' doom atmosphere they can muster with their low budget and limited resources.  Mary Woronov's husband Theodore Gershuny, who directed two other films and several episodes of TV shows such as "Tales From the Darkside" and "The Equalizer", helms Jeffrey Konvitz and Ira Teller's funereal screenplay in a crudely effective fashion.  The film's rough-hewn production elements and choppy editing alternate between being distracting and somehow enhancing its dreary mood.

Once the killer stops creeping around unseen and gets the old axe a-swingin', we get a few mildly gory chop-'em-up scenes with some fake blood splattered about, along with a dismembered hand or two.  These moments of mayhem, however,  come after long, mundane stretches that are interesting only if you enjoy watching a very old John Carradine (and who doesn't?) or a very young and attractive Mary Woronov (ditto).  Distinguished actor James Pattererson, who died at age 40 shortly after this film was made, comes off well despite an understandably uninspired performance. 

Similar in feel to Bob Clark's 1974 BLACK CHRISTMAS, with the dreariest version of "Silent Night" you can imagine and a score that's almost more downbeat than Bernard Herrmann's music for PSYCHO, the best of SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT is saved for its centerpiece flashback sequence.  As Diane reads from Wilfred Butler's tattered journal, we're transported into a grainy, sepia-hued world that's so dark and depressingly surreal as to be almost a cross between David Lynch and H.P. Lovecraft. 

This vignette occurs during the time the Butler house served as an insane asylum, with the inmates being let loose to wreak revenge upon their cruel keepers, and is so fascinatingly, unremittingly nightmarish as to seem like part of a different film altogether.  Afterwards, the story's actual ending comes as something of an anti-climax despite director Gerhuny's efforts to build to a shocking finale that he isn't quite able to pull off. 

The DVD from Film Chest is in widescreen with 2.0 sound.  No subtitles or extras.  Opening titles (featuring the alternate name "Deathhouse") bleed off the sides of the screen a bit.  The film is an HD restoration from 35mm elements but the print used has several rough spots.  Personally, I like it when a film looks like it's been around the block a few times, but those wanting something closer to pristine may cringe a few times. 

Movies like SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT straddled some interesting cinematic territory between old-style Gothic horror and slasher-era gore while inadvertently helping to lay the groundwork for the tired "dead teenager" formulas of the 80s and 90s.  While unpolished and at times technically crude, it still manages to create an extremely effective and unrelievedly depressing mood (definitely not recommended for the suicidal) with atmosphere to burn. 

SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT -- DVD Review by Porfle

DEAD SEASON -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 7/25/12

 

With NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, George Romero created a zombie mythology that just won't die.  Filmmakers are still adding their own chapters to the story and exploring various nooks and crannies of the scenario Romero set into motion over forty years ago.  The characters and settings may change, the timeframe may be updated, and the zombies may move a little faster sometimes, but we know that it all stems from that one night when a guy named Johnny taunted his jittery little sister in a gloomy cemetery with the words, "They're coming to get you, Barbara..."

DEAD SEASON (2012) is director Adam Deyoe's contribution to this sub-genre, and, like many of the others before it, it assumes we know the drill and need little or no exposition to get the ball rolling.  Thus, we join a former paramedic named Elvis (Scott Peat) already dodging "walkers" (the script, we learn from the commentary, was written before HBO's "The Walking Dead" popularized the term) in his search for food and shelter, and trying to hook up with a woman who calls herself Tweeter (Marissa Merrill) whom he's met over the airwaves. 

After a wild and woolly escape from over a hundred extras in some pretty passable zombie makeup, Elvis and Tweeter sail to an island off the coast of Florida (actually Puerto Rico) that they think is "walker-free."  It isn't.  The living inhabitants are a paramilitary bunch led by hard-ass Kurt Conrad (James C. Burns) whose philosophy is that if they don't "strip themselves down to the wires" they aren't going to make it.  This means being ruthless and totally unsentimental, and it also means that Elvis and Tweeter must make themselves useful to the group if they expect to eat or, in fact, live.

As in the better zombie movies, the constant menace of the living dead serves as a backdrop for intense interplay between the human characters, with Conrad's increasingly domineering behavior alarming the two reluctant newbies even as they try to fit in.  Elvis' medical skills are put to good use, especially in the treatment of Conrad's listless daughter Rachel (Corsica Wilson), the last link to his more human side.  Meanwhile, Tweeter joins the search and destroy team and gets to kill zombies which have overrun the island ever since a Dutch cruise ship sank nearby (which I thought was a pretty cool touch). 

DEAD SEASON brings lots of good ideas to the table and keeps things interesting most of the time, making up for occasional lulls by offering some surprising and sometimes shocking twists along the way.  While directing and editing aren't always slick, the low-budget film boasts several furious action sequences that are often grippingly suspenseful, in addition to some extremely dramatic exchanges such as the one in which Conrad springs his darkest and most dreadful secret on a stunned Elvis. 

Performances by the leads are exceptionally good, with James C. Burns playing good-guy/bad-guy Conrad to a tee and making us sympathize with his intentions even when his methods seem repellent.  Peat and Merrill are a great team as Elvis and Tweeter--even their brief lovemaking scene manages to convey a sense of erotic desperation rather than being merely obligatory. 

The unglamorous yet tomboy-attractive Merrill in particular shines as a female character who can handle herself impressively in action situations without simply being the stereotypical "strong woman."  Peat, on the other hand, is adept at letting his emotional side show through even when he's smashing zombie skulls with a sledge hammer.

The DVD from Image Entertainment is in 1.78:1 widescreen with Dolby 5.1 surround sound.  No subtitles, though closed-captioning is available.  Extras include a making-of featurette, deleted scenes, outtakes, and a trailer.  The cast and crew commentary track is fun while being casual almost to a fault--in fact, it sounds as though someone's absent-mindedly kicking the microphone during the whole thing. 

As you might expect, the human characters' fragile veneer of civilization begins to fall apart at the seams during the final act as their compound is overrun by zombies and all hell breaks loose.  Nods to Romero abound--some of the grisly gore setups are an obvious reprise of familiar horrors from DAWN OF THE DEAD--but the action-packed, richly character-driven DEAD SEASON stands on its own as a modest but worthwhile entry in the zombie mythos.  

 

DEAD SEASON -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE RETURN OF DRACULA -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 1/21/14

 

Watching THE RETURN OF DRACULA (1958) for the first time since my initial afternoon-TV viewing as a kid, I was bowled over by what a finely-wrought and effective low-budget vampire thriller it is. The stage is set by its spooky opening titles (Dracula's eyes stare out at us during the familiar strains of "Dies Irae") and it only gets better.

In the midst of all the the giant radioactive creatures, alien invaders, and revisionist updates of old classic horror themes which dominated 50s genre films, this atmospheric black-and-white chiller seems like a holdover from the fabulous 40s and lacks only the production gloss of the Universals (although it still beats the likes of SHE-WOLF OF LONDON by a country mile). 

Directed by Paul Landres and written by Pat Fielder (THE MONSTER THAT CHALLENGED THE WORLD), both of whom also gave us the creepy John Beal shocker THE VAMPIRE, the story begins with an enigmatic Count Dracula (Francis Lederer) escaping pursuit in Europe by assuming the identity of an artist named Bellac Gordal who is traveling to the United States to live with American relatives.  (Norbert Schiller, who played "Shuter" in FRANKENSTEIN 1970 and also appeared in YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN, is seen briefly as the real Bellac.)

Once there, the sinister impostor's curdled charm will entrance the kindly and vivacious young Rachel Mayberry (Norma Eberhardt, surprisingly effective in the role) who finds him dashing and worldly despite his odd behavior (he disappears during daylight hours and refuses to participate in any social activites). 

This elicits jealousy and suspicion from Rachel's hot-rodder boyfriend Tim (Ray Stricklyn) although her naive, trusting mother Cora (Greta Granstedt) and kid brother Mickey (Jimmy Baird) are much slower on the uptake.

Never having seen Hitchcock's SHADOW OF A DOUBT, to which this is often compared, I see THE RETURN OF DRACULA as sort of a companion piece to Universal's 1943 Lon Chaney, Jr. classic, SON OF DRACULA.  In both films, the Count takes up residence in smalltown America (in SON, it's the bayou country of Louisiana) and wreaks havoc with the locals while a vampire expert joins forces with a resident authority figure (in this case a priest) to combat the encroaching evil.

Francis Lederer makes a very imposing Dracula with his commanding yet subtle presence and his air of dark continental decadence, clearly taking a perverse relish in the act of corrupting the innocent.  In fact, as soon as Rachel tells him about Jennie (THE HILLS HAVE EYES' Virginia Vincent), the poor, bed-ridden blind girl she's been taking care of at the parish house run by Reverend Whitfield (Gage Clarke), this vile creature of darkness wastes no time making her his first victim. 

The hapless Jennie's violation as Dracula enters her bedroom shrouded in mist is nightmarish--Dracula bestows on her the ability to "see" him advancing toward her as she lies helpless--but nothing compared to Jennie's fate when, after transforming into the living dead herself, she's followed by relentless vampire hunter John Merriman (John Wengraf) back to her crypt to be staked in a shocking color insert.

Along with some good jump scares, several scenes are memorably eerie and disturbing.  The opening scenes with Merriman and company closing in on Dracula in a shadowy European cemetery at dawn are so tense and well-staged it's almost as though Quentin Tarantino were guest director. 

Later, Rachel's ongoing seduction by "Cousin Bellac" results in several chilling scenes and close calls--in one, the blare of Tim's car horn snaps her out of a hypnotic reverie and prevents her from joining Dracula in the nearby cave where his coffin resides.  It's here that the teen lovers will fight a losing battle against the Lord of the Undead in a suspenseful climax.

THE RETURN OF DRACULA is highly recommended for anyone who appreciates classic horror.  In my opinion, this superior 50s effort--be it ever so humble--is one of the finest Dracula/vampire movies ever made. 

THE RETURN OF DRACULA -- Movie Review by Porfle

BLOOD OF DRACULA (1957) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 7/6/21

 

Currently watching: American-International's BLOOD OF DRACULA (1957) starring Sandra Harrison as Nancy, a teenage girl who becomes a blood-sucking vampire while attending an exclusive girls' boarding school in the mountains.

After Nancy's mother dies, her father waits a mere six weeks before hooking up with a gold-digger and sending Nancy off to boarding school to get her out of their hair.

Nancy is understandably distraught and resentful, and her first days at the school find her clashing with a clique of spoiled bullies who call themselves the "Birds of Paradise."

 

Eventually, the headstrong Nancy wins their grudging acceptance and also the attention of an oddball science teacher named Miss Branding (Louise Lewis), who finds in Nancy a perfect subject for her weird experiments in bringing out certain supernatural powers inherent in human beings.

Under hypnosis, and with the aid of a mystical amulet she obtained in the Carpathian mountains, Miss Branding succeeds in turning Nancy into a horrific fanged creature who stalks the campus thirsting for warm teenage blood.

If you catch it in the right frame of mind, BLOOD OF DRACULA is just as much fun as it sounds. It helps to be a fan of producer Herman Cohen and director Herbert L. Strock's other teen monster classics I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF and I WAS A TEENAGE FRANKENSTEIN. 

 

Except for the different-sounding title, this one fits right in with these and forms an ideal trilogy of teen variations on classic horror monsters. It also boasts a rock-and-roll song performance (Jerry Blaine's "Puppy Love") so awful that it rivals the ungodly "Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Mo" from TEENAGE WEREWOLF.

The isolated setting, with its shadowy surrounding forest and adjoining cemetery, adds considerably to the film's atmosphere, as do composer Paul Dunlap's characteristically downbeat, piano-heavy score and the moody black and white cinematography.

Performances are generally good, with Richard Devon, Malcolm Atterbury, and Paul Maxwell (HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER, ALIENS) as local detectives baffled by the brutal blood-draining murders that begin to occur whenever Miss Branding exercises her mental powers over the hapless Nancy. 

 

 

Louise Lewis gives a restrained performance as the psychotic Miss Branding, who, just like the great Whit Bissell's psychiatrist character in TEENAGE WEREWOLF, uses hypnosis to turn an unsuspecting teenager into a fearsome creature in the service of some mad perversion of science.

Sandra Harrison is quite good as Nancy, especially when overcome by the vampiric curse which, thanks to a cool transformation sequence that occurs three or four times throughout the film, turns her into a wonderfully weird-looking fanged vampiress who's way more bestial than her Hammer counterparts. 

 

 

In fact, I'm surprised that her monstrous visage isn't more well-known (I've only seen it a few times in monster magazines over the years) and that this film itself seems almost obscure compared to the others in the series.

While sparing in its scenes of horror and with a somewhat anti-climactic ending, the film as a whole should prove a satisfying view for fans of Herman Cohen and Herbert L. Strock's brand of low-budget chiller fare, especially those who appreciate a really cool monster makeup.  At any rate, BLOOD OF DRACULA was a treat for this old-school monster fan.

BLOOD OF DRACULA (1957) -- Movie Review by Porfle

THE VAMPIRE (1957) -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 7/18/15

 

THE VAMPIRE, aka "Mark of the Vampire" (1957) is a low-budget but nicely-done sci-fi/horror flick about a mild-mannered smalltown doctor (John Beal) who accidentally turns himself into a bloodthirsty maniac when his daughter gets his headache tablets mixed up with some highly addictive experimental pills concocted by a local scientist who died mysteriously.

The case is investigated by Beal's friend, detective Kenneth Tobey, but no one suspects kindly doctor Beal when people start to get murdered and drained of blood.

One of the film's strengths is the superb acting by Beal, Tobey, Dabbs Greer as another scientist sent to salvage the dead man's research, and lovely Coleen Gray as Beal's caring nurse. 



Scenes between Beal's doomed character, who is a widowed father, and his young daughter Lydia Reed are heartrending. 

Some of Dabbs Greer's dialogue, especially in relation to his eccentric assistant Henry (James Griffith), is hilarious.  I love the scenes between Beal and Greer--both are excellent actors whose natural style makes what they do look easy.

Screenwriter Pat Fielder also wrote the excellent RETURN OF DRACULA, which seems to be set in the same small town.  Both are directed by Paul Landres and scored by Gerald Fried (PATHS OF GLORY, "Star Trek: The Original Series"). 

When finally revealed to us about halfway through the film, Beal's grotesque makeup is cheap-looking but effective.  There's even a rudimentary transition scene (a la Lon Chaney's Wolf Man). 

The creature that Beal transforms into is one of the most vile and nightmarish characters in all of shock cinema. 

In one scene he returns to the scene of the crime after murdering an old woman in the street, and, while looking on from afar as people crowd around the body, can be seen grinning hideously at his grotesque handiwork. 

This is in stark contrast to the devoted father and trusted doctor that is Beal's character when not under the control of the horribly addictive drug that brings out his most bestial tendencies.  It is indeed one of the most tragic of all 50s sci-fi/horror flicks.

THE VAMPIRE scared me when I was a kid--the scene in which the maniac stalks a frantic Coleen Gray as she walks home at night is truly frightening--and it's still a lot of fun to watch.

THE VAMPIRE (1957) -- Movie Review by Porfle

CHINA BEACH: THE COMPLETE SERIES -- DVD Review by Porfle

 Originally posted on 11/9/2019

 

I was never a fan of "China Beach", but after taking a long look at Time-Life's CHINA BEACH: THE COMPLETE SERIES (1988-1991), I can only conclude that those who are fans will have a field day with this lavish 19-disc collection of 62 episodes, including the original pilot movie and over five hours of bonus features.

The show's premise, of course, is the odyssey of U.S. Army Nurse Colleen McMurphy (Dana Delany, TOMBSTONE) serving a frantic tour of duty at a combination evac hospital and R&R facility set on a picturesque beach near Da Nang in Viet Nam.

Thus we observe the daily dramas of all the nurses, doctors, soldiers, Red Cross volunteers, and various civilian personnel, most of which are based on the real-life experiences of actual people.  (Not the least of these being former nurse Lynda Van Devanter, whose book "Home Before Morning" was the inspiration for the McMurphy character and her story.)

The show's setting is richly authentic, managing to give those of us with no such experience whatsoever an idea of what life was like there. McMurphy's days and nights are filled with the blood, horror, and tragedy of war, yet she must try to keep herself grounded by maintaining some semblance of normality in her personal life and dealings with friends and coworkers.

We also meet a widely-diverse cast of characters including Dr. Dick Richards (Robert Picardo, "Star Trek: Voyager"), whose playboy lifestyle helps him deal with a deteriorating marriage; SP4 Samuel Beckett (Michael Boatman), who processes dead bodies and thus has a unique perspective on mortality; and Red Cross volunteer Cherry White (Nan Woods), a painfully naive young woman searching for her MIA brother, Rick.

Local prostitute K.C (a stunning Marg Helgenberger, "CSI") is basically there to leech off the servicemen but eventually forms a meaningful relationship with Corporal "Boonie" Boonwell (Brian Wimmer), China Beach's lifeguard and recreation manager.  We also get to know enigmatic recon operative Sgt. Evan "Dodger" Winslow (Jeff Kober, THE BABY DOLL MURDERS), trying to hold onto his humanity after having served in the jungle for too long.

Like "M*A*S*H" before it, everyday moments of happiness or strife are often interrupted by either a sudden influx of wounded G.I.s or harrowing enemy attacks, the worst being an intense episode which occurs during the TET offensive. 

For me, these segments represent "China Beach" at its most compelling. I find it least interesting when it lapses into soap opera, concentrates too much on characters such as USO singer Laurette Barber (Chloe Webb), whom I found obnoxious, or borders on the morally ambiguous, as when McMurphy allows a Viet Cong patient who blew up several G.I.s in a bar to go free and perhaps kill again simply because she feels sorry for her.

The show also tends, in my opinion, to come off as rather sanctimonious, as though basking in its own nobility for being so lavishly well-intentioned. Other viewers, I happily concede, may not get this impression at all.

Indeed, being quite aware of the immense and generally well-deserved popularity of the show, I can heartily recommend CHINA BEACH: THE COMPLETE SERIES to those devoted fans who will fully appreciate having all 62 episodes (not to mention the wealth of featurettes, commentaries, interviews, and bonus booklets) in their DVD collection.

CHINA BEACH: THE COMPLETE SERIES -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE MORGUE -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 4/1/11

 

A young woman named Margo (Lisa Crilley) is the happy-go-lucky janitor in a big, creepy mausoleum.  She's a bouncy-peppy type who bops around with her earbuds plugged in while mopping the floors and scrubbing the bloodstains off the bathroom wall where a previous mortician recently slashed his own throat.  Lately, though, she keeps having these unsettling little flashes of alternate reality, and for some reason the night watchman, George (the venerable Bill Cobbs), acts like she isn't there. 

Five minutes into THE MORGUE (2008) and we're already starting to see the surprise ending coming from a mile away.  But there's more--a dysfunctional family, including a belligerent dad, a mousy mom (yes, that Heather Donahue), and an owlish little girl, show up because their SUV has run out of gas, and, of course, when you run out of gas in the middle of nowhere, the first thing you do is head straight for the nearest mausoleum.  Minutes later, two more guys come staggering in covered with blood after crawling out of a car wreck.  And with our cast of characters thus established, we now get to see them all trying desperately to contact the outside world and escape from the mazelike mausoleum while some dark figure in a hoodie is chasing them all around with a shovel.  Oh yeah, and whenever one of them tries to talk to the night watchman, George, he acts like they aren't there.  Pretty scary stuff, right?  Ehh... 

THE MORGUE tries awful hard to be scary, but it's mainly just confusing and somewhat tedious.  We see endless scenes of our heroes sneaking out of their safe haven, running up and down the dark halls from the shovel-wielding hoodie guy while trying to get out of the building, and then scrambling back to home base and locking the door.  When Bad Dad and Car Wreck Dude attempt an excursion into town, they keep coming right back to the mausoleum.  Weak "shock cuts" and other earnest but unsuccessful attempts to frighten us abound.  The characters' actions often defy any conceivable logic.  And when the twist ending finally comes, it's telegraphed so far in advance that the whole movie is basically one long twist ending. 

I kinda got an 80s vibe from THE MORGUE, which made me think about how much better even the cheaper flicks seemed back then compared to this.  Some parts also have a faint hint of Rod Serling's "Night Gallery" with a dash of PHANTASM thrown in.  It's nice to see somebody trying to do something different by playing around with the supernatural and slasher genres, but it never really comes off like the filmmakers must've imagined.  The constantly blaring music doesn't help, either.  The lead actors do their best to sell it, with Lisa Crilley (ANNAPOLIS) giving it her all and BLAIR WITCH PROJECT's Heather Donahue adding a nostalgic touch. 

Ultimately, though, the ending that THE MORGUE has been so frantically building up to for its entire running time comes as more of a foregone conclusion than a surprise.  There are a few fill-in-the-blanks shots to explain some of the loose ends, but that's about it.  And without the catharsis of a satisfying twist, it's a real downer.  The thing that makes the "Jordy Verrill" segment of CREEPSHOW stick out like a sore thumb is that not only does the ending lack irony, but Jordy doesn't deserve his awful fate, which is at odds with most EC horror stories.  The same applies to THE MORGUE, which left me wondering what the point of it all was.

THE MORGUE -- Movie Review by Porfle

MONDO CANNIBAL -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 11/14/14

 

When famous TV personality Grace Forsyte's ratings start to plunge, so does her integrity--leading to a desperate attempt to boost viewership by taking a film crew into the jungles of South America to record the most horrible atrocities she can find amongst savage tribes of (gasp!) flesh-eating cannibals!

Thus, Italian exploitation director Bruno Mattei (working under the name "Vincent Dawn"), responsible for such films as RATS: NIGHT OF TERROR, WOMEN'S CAMP 119, CALIGULA'S PERVERSIONS, and SCALPS, enriches the world of cinematic art with this offering entitled MONDO CANNIBAL (2004, Intervision Picture Corp.), known also as "Cannibal World", "Horror Cannibal 2", "Cannibal Holocaust 2", and "Cannibal Holocaust: The Beginning." Needless to say, it's about cannibalism.

The "Mondo" angle is a bit misleading, however, since this is neither an actual "Mondo Cane"-type documentary nor a mockumentary, although there's one scene near the beginning that looks real enough. Grace (played by Helena Wagner) and her boss, the TV network president, are viewing footage of what's purported to be actual cannibals preparing a corpse for feasting, and it looks like the real thing--disgustingly so--although it might simply be a prelude to a crude cremation.

Still, it's the one part of the movie that you won't want to watch while eating a nice, drippy, all-meat pizza or a steaming bowl of goulash. In other words, it's wicked grotty, innit.

The rest of the movie consists of Grace and her crew on an increasingly wacky jungle adventure filming fake natives running around killing each other with rubber clubs and feasting on the bloody entrails of their victims like a bunch of freaked-out "fast-moving" zombies.

The grossest thing about these scenes (and their rudimentary but fun gore SPFX) is wondering what the hell is that stringy slop the energetic extras are shoving into their mouths with such ravenous glee--it looks like spaghetti mixed with something somebody dug out of a dumpster behind a butcher shop.

Recording all this horror eventually isn't enough for Grace and her gang, who before long are in the thick of the carnage themselves as they attack a village and set fire to the huts, which are filled with screaming natives, while gleefully raping and massacring everyone in sight.

This rampant savagery is a weird and sudden change for Grace's environmental-advocate partner Bob Manson (Claudio Morales)--supposedly the "conscience" of the group--and her technical crew including cute blonde Cindy (Cindy Matic), whose main purpose on the expedition is to add to the film's brief nudity quotient.

Meanwhile, back in civilization, the TV executives (with the sole exception of one gray-haired bigwig with a weak stomach) are, to coin a phrase, "eating it all up" as the ratings skyrocket.

MONDO CANNIBAL is surprisingly competent in the technical department, with some nice location work including lovely shots of what is supposed to be Hong Kong (although the credits state that this was filmed entirely in the Phillipines). One of the funniest parts of the film is the title at the beginning of this sequence: "Hong Kong: Some Mouths Before..."

Performances are fair to, well, fair, but what star Helena Wagner lacks in finesse she makes up for with pure wire-taut intensity. Her efforts and those of the rest of the cast are hampered by bad dubbing and some jarringly dumb dialogue that adds to the perverse entertainment value.

The main drawback is that much of the earlier part of the film is just plain boring. Things definitely pick up later on, however, when the story starts edging its way over the top before spilling all the way over into a bloodbath of goofy gore and even goofier plot twists.

The DVD from Intervision Picture Corp. is in full frame with Dolby Digital stereo sound. No subtitles. The only bonus feature is a trailer.

In case you haven't gleaned as much from my description already, MONDO CANNIBAL isn't exactly the sort of entertainment to accompany your next Martha Stewart-style dinner soirée. But if you're in the mood for some severely whacked-out ultra-gore goodness packed with psychotic sadism and lacking any sense of decency whatsoever, then this should serve as a suitably sordid main course.

MONDO CANNIBAL -- DVD Review by Porfle

TENEBRE -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

 Originally posted on 5/8/08

 

I'm a Dario Argento fan but have yet to see all of his films. So it was a real treat to get the chance to watch TENEBRE (aka TENEBRAE), the Italian director's 1982 return to the giallo style after a detour into the supernatural (SUSPIRIA, his masterpiece, and its follow-up INFERNO). According to Wikipedia, "giallo" films are typically slasher-style whodunits characterized by "extended murder sequences featuring excessive bloodletting, stylish camerawork and unusual musical arrangements", which would make this a prime example of the genre.

Tony Franciosa plays Peter Neal, a murder mystery writer who's just arrived in Rome to promote his latest book, "Tenebrae", only to find that a serial-killing stalker is using his new novel as a template for ridding the world of sexual deviates and other undesirables. With the help of his secretary and budding love interest Anne (Argento collaborator and former spouse Daria Nicolodi) and eager young assistant Gianni (Christian Borromeo), Neal hopes to add a feather to his literary cap by solving the real-life murder mystery himself as bodies begin to pile up. The arrival in Rome of his spurned ex-lover Jane (Veronica Lario) and the presence of a television journalist named Berti (John Steiner) who appears to be a little too obsessed with Neal and his writings are just two of the many pieces in Argento's jumbled jigsaw puzzle.

One of the first things I noticed about TENEBRE is how bright it is. Much of it takes place in broad daylight, while the night scenes are often overly-lit. Argento has stated that he wanted the film to look hyper-realistic, with no shadows for either the victims or the killer to hide in. It's an interesting stylistic choice that Argento uses effectively. The often light-bleached visuals and pallid settings also allow him to emphasize certain elements such as a woman's fire-engine red pumps or the gouts of blood that liberally decorate several moments of terror.

Some of my favorite Argento touches are well-represented here, including: a haunting flashback, the details of which are only gradually revealed to us (not unlike Harmonica's recurring childhood memory in ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST, which Argento co-wrote); characters not picking up on an important visual or aural clue until it suddenly occurs to them after much reflection, as in the "three irises" scene from SUSPIRIA or the mysterious painting in DEEP RED; and several POV shots that disconcertingly put us in the killer's shoes as he (or she) is on the prowl.

As usual, Argento uses sound very effectively. In particular, he shares something in common with singer Nick Lowe--he loves the sound of breaking glass--so if you see a plate glass window in this movie, chances are it's going to shatter when you least expect it. Argento uses such devices to make his murder sequences even more nerve-wracking than they already are, usually after some very careful buildup and a few fake-outs to keep us off guard. And when the killer strikes, it's disturbingly violent. But unlike the standard slasher bore such as FRIDAY THE 13TH, Argento is more interested in the imaginative cinematic depiction of violence rather than simply racking up outlandish yet by-the-numbers body counts. When he does go for the gore, it shocks us, and it happens to characters that we care about and for reasons that keep the story moving.

Oh, and speaking of nerve-wracking, Argento managed to reunite three members of the disbanded rock group Goblin (Claudio Simonetti, Fabio Pignatelli, and Massimo Morante) to supply the original score. Unlike their music for SUSPIRIA, this has a synth-heavy, somewhat cheesy 80s sound that seems to be influenced at times by Giorgio Moroder's drum-machine disco rhythms. Other passages resemble their music for George Romero's DAWN OF THE DEAD. But it has that unmistakable Goblin sound, which somehow manages to compliment Argento's style even as it's turning your eardrums to mush.

Tony Franciosa is an old pro who did a lot of television while I was growing up, in addition to appearing in scores of fun films (a year after this, he got to do a steamy love scene with my favorite actress, Isabelle Mejias--the lucky dog--in the lively Canadian thriller JULIE DARLING). John Saxon, who plays Peter's literary agent, is, of course, always a welcome presence, and Veronica Lario is very effectively creepy as Jane. The rest of the cast is good, too--I especially liked Giuliano Gemma and Carola Stagnaro as a pair of homicide detectives--although in most cases the dubbing makes it hard to fully appreciate their performances. Daria Nicolodi does her usual fine job as well.

There are some really nice-looking women in lesser roles, adding considerably more sex appeal than you usually find in an Argento film. Ania Pieroni appears briefly as a lovely kleptomaniac who uses sex to beat a shoplifting rap but can't escape the fate awaiting her when she gets home. Lara Wendel plays a lesbian magazine writer whose promiscuous, half-naked housemate is the heart-stoppingly gorgeous Italian model Mirella Banti, in a sequence that allows Argento to indulge his stylistic impulses to their fullest.

Most interesting of all, perhaps, is the casting of Eva Robins as a woman who appears in several strange flashbacks to a traumatic event in the killer's youth. Born a male, Robins reportedly began to develop breasts and other female characteristics during puberty, to an extent that convinced her that nature intended her to live as a woman. At any rate, she's convincing enough as the "girl on the beach" in some of the film's strangest scenes.

The new DVD from Anchor Bay features an uncut, remastered widescreen (1:85:1) transfer enhanced for 16x9 televisions. Aside from the trailer and an Argento biography, there's a commentary track featuring the director along with composer Claudio Simonetti and journalist Loris Curci, which is as informative as you might expect although much time is spent waiting for Argento to figure out how to say everything in English--I kinda wished it could have been in Italian with English subtitles. "Voices of the Unsane" is a nifty 17-minute featurette with Argento, Nicolodi, Simonetti, and other principals discussing the making of the film. (UNSANE was the retitled, badly-edited version first shown in the US.) Other brief featurettes explore the creation of TENEBRE's sound effects and the filming of an intricate extended shot featured in one of the murder sequences. All in all, not a bad array of extras.

It's interesting to see Argento eschew the sumptuous, fairytale look of SUSPIRIA for a more stark and austere style here. Without the dark shadows and saturated colors, TENEBRE is like a blank canvas splattered with bright red, with a realism that's as brittle and sharp as all that broken glass. Only when the killer's identity is revealed at last in an axe and straight razor-slashed finale do we get a really dark, lightning-streaked scene, and it's horrifying enough to warrant the seemingly never-ending screams of the last person standing as TENEBRE fades out into its closing credits. And if you're a Dario Argento fan, you'll definitely want to be there when it happens.

TENEBRE -- DVD Review by Porfle

All The Vampire Girl Scenes From "BLOOD OF DRACULA" (1957)(video)

 

Sandra Harrison plays the new girl at a secluded boarding school...

...who falls prey to a demented teacher who turns her into a bloodthirsty vampire girl!

The result is one of the coolest makeups in any low-budget 1950s monster movie...

...in this companion film to I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF and I WAS A TEENAGE FRANKENSTEIN.



I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

All The Vampire Girl Scenes From "BLOOD OF DRACULA" (1957)(video)

MASSACRE IN DINOSAUR VALLEY -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

 

Originally posted on 9/23/20

 

Just to clear things up, there ain't no dinosaurs in MASSACRE IN DINOSAUR VALLEY (Severin Films, 1985), so all you Ray Harryhausen and Willis O'Brien fans can scratch that off your list of reasons why you might want to watch this movie. There aren't even any iguanas with fins glued on their backs waddling around on a tabletop jungle set.

What there is, however, might very well appeal to you anyway if you're into jungle adventures with plenty of action, violence, gorgeous babes, manly heroes, sadistic cannibals, and that always-unbeatable combination of nudity and gore.

What's more, the overracting, bad Italian-movie-style dubbing, and very low-budget filmmaking might even satisfy your bad-movie sweet tooth, although this lively effort is (a) not all that bad, and (b) by no means dull. 

 

In fact, once our expedition of disparate character types survive a chartered plane crash in the Brazilian jungle (which is surprisingly well-staged) and find themselves in a desperate struggle to survive all its many dangers (including the aforementioned cannibals), this flick tends to get downright riveting at times.

Those various characters include the handsome, two-fisted young paleontologist Kevin (Michael Sopkiw, BLASTFIGHTER, KILLER FISH), a venerable professor and his beautiful but reserved daughter Eva (as Susane Carvall), Viet Nam vet Capt. John Heinz (Milton Rodríguez) and his hateful ex-wife Betty (Marta Anderson, BARE BEHIND BARS).

There's also a naughty photographer and his two sexy models, and a shady pilot whose inferior flying skills plus some freak turbulence get them all stuck slogging through the jungle in the first place.

Before that, the film establishes itself as having a lighthearted streak with dinosaur bone hunter Kevin bopping around Brazil with no money but a way with the ladies. He also gets into a humorous brawl with two guys who are each two feet taller than he is, and has a sexy encounter with one of the models which is just the first taste of nudity and softcore sex that the film has to offer.

After the plane crash, he and ex-Green Beret Capt. Heinz supply the movie with its maximum daily requirement of testosterone as they battle for leadership of the ragtag group in a fight to the death that is interrupted by a cannibal attack that results in a very entertaining and somewhat colorful reduction of the sizable cast one screaming character at a time.

Of course, we get the standard sequence in which the ladies are dressed in revealing ceremonial garb and tied up in the middle of camp for some good old cannibal fun and games which include the usual horrific stuff that we've sat through the previous half of the movie to see. 

This leads to an exciting escape thanks to the ever-stalwart Kevin and a frenzied pursuit through perilous jungle and raging river, with our heroes little suspecting that they're headed straight for an even more dangerous encounter with white jungle crime lord China (Andy Silas) in his secluded plantation where slaves mine diamonds and his lesbian henchwoman Myara (Gloria Cristal) helps him ravish all female captives before executing them in not-so-nice ways.

The Blu-ray from Severin Films is scanned uncut in 4k from the original negative. In addition to a trailer, Italian main titles, and some deleted scenes, the extras menu includes the very engaging "Valley Boy – Interview with Actor Michael Sopkiw" (Kevin) and "Lost in Brazil – Interview with Co-Writer Dardano Sacchetti." The special edition Blu-ray features a slipcover and different box art.

What director Michele Massimo Tarantini (as Michael E. Lemick) lacks in finesse, he more than compensates for with an ability to stage big frenetic action and mayhem by making the most of his meager budget in imaginative ways. In other words, MASSACRE IN DINOSAUR VALLEY should give those receptive to such slapdash fun more than enough to tickle their funny bones.


Buy it at Severin Films

Special edition with slipcover


Special Features:

    Valley Boy – Interview with Actor Michael Sopkiw
    Lost in Brazil – Interview with Co-Writer Dardano Sacchetti
    Deleted and Extended Scenes Reel
    Trailer
    Italian credits
    Reversible Wrap
    Exclusive Slipcover (not on standard edition)



Special edition/slipcover art:

 

MASSACRE IN DINOSAUR VALLEY -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle