WILD BEASTS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 Originally posted on 2/3/17

 

Okay, first of all, WILD BEASTS (1984), now on Blu-ray from Severin Films, is one very warped, one very grotesque flick. 

And second of all, if you're a soft-hearted PETA type--or just anyone who can't stand seeing animals being hurt in any way--then you will not like this movie.  In fact, you should avoid it at all costs. I'll explain why in a bit, although you might as well stop reading now because you won't want to see it. Ever. (But don't stop reading. I just said that for effect.)

The premise is simplicity itself--someone puts PCP into the water supply, and when some zoo animals get a snootful of it they escape into the heart of the city and go on a rip-roaring rampage of revenge.  Against what, you ask?  Why, against humans for "raping nature" as the trailer informs us.

 

Head zoo-guy Dr. Rupert "Rip" Berner (real-life animal tamer John Aldrich) and his scientist girlfriend Laura Schwarz (Lorraine De Selle) are knee-deep in it all from the git-go, with Rip (in her Italian accent Laura calls him "Reep") working with veteran police inspector Nat Braun (Ugo Bologna) to track down the marauding animals while Laura rushes across town to protect her young daughter Suzy (Louisa Lloyd), who's in a dance class that will soon be invaded by a hungry polar bear.

Well, the manure hits the ventilator early on in this anything-goes Italian free-for-all when the wild animals hit the streets and start chowing down on city dwellers like they were meaty treats.  The result is an abundance of graphic gore effects as we see screaming victims being devoured before our eyes.

While this, fortunately, is merely simulated, not so fortunate are several live rats that are roasted alive with flamethrowers (after molesting a kitty cat) and some livestock that get attacked by very toothsome lions.  We've all seen movies that made us ask, "Wow, how'd they do that?"  In this case, they just freakin' DID it. 

 

Of course, most fainthearted viewers will have already checked out during the main titles at the sight of a zookeeper chopping up actual horse heads for lion food, which we see the ravenous cats gleefully devouring.  I found this scene particularly disturbing since I happened to be eating hot dogs at the time.

More gleeful devouring takes place throughout the film, but what really shifts much of WILD BEASTS into mindboggle-mode are scenes such as elephants invading an airport and causing a plane to crash during landing.  The SPFX include some surprisingly elaborate model work which is not all that convincing but is great fun to watch. 

Elsewhere, we're treated to the sight of a cheetah chasing a Volkswagen convertible at full speed down a city street, a tiger loose in a subway car, and, wilder still, a herd of cattle stampeding through the heart of a modern city. 

This is stuff you just don't see every day, and, as I mentioned, it's all the more amazing because it's real.  Nowadays they'd just CGI it all up and expect us to "ooh" and "ahh" over a cartoon.

 

Such spectacle makes up for the fact that this is a low-budget production done on the fly with barely any retakes by MONDO CANE director Franco E. Prosperi, who knew how to stretch a lira thanks to his extensive documentary experience. 

The hasty schedule means not much attention is given to cinematic style, but the hit-and-run atmosphere is exciting and the editing is great. Daniele Patucchi's score is a combination of Goblin-style suspense music and really cool jazz.

The Blu-ray from Severin Films is in widescreen HD with English and Italian 2.0 soundtracks (English subtitles are available).  Once again Severin comes through with a solid bonus menu including terrific recent interviews with director Prosperi, star Tony Di Leo (aka "John Aldrich"), editor Mario Morra, and circus veteran/animal wrangler Carlo Tiberi.  There's also a scenic tour of Prosperi's museum-like home and a trailer. 

I didn't like WILD BEASTS much at first--in fact, its more crude and distasteful elements and contemptible animal abuse continued to turn me off throughout-- but I eventually warmed up to and started enjoying this absolutely off-the-wall exploitation flick.  The ending is especially good, because instead of petering out or leaving us unsatisfied, the film saves its wickedest plot twist, and its wildest beasts, for the very end. 


Release date: Feb. 7, 2017

WILD BEASTS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

MONDO CANNIBAL -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 11/14/14

 

When famous TV personality Grace Forsyte's ratings start to plunge, so does her integrity--leading to a desperate attempt to boost viewership by taking a film crew into the jungles of South America to record the most horrible atrocities she can find amongst savage tribes of (gasp!) flesh-eating cannibals!

Thus, Italian exploitation director Bruno Mattei (working under the name "Vincent Dawn"), responsible for such films as RATS: NIGHT OF TERROR, WOMEN'S CAMP 119, CALIGULA'S PERVERSIONS, and SCALPS, enriches the world of cinematic art with this offering entitled MONDO CANNIBAL (2004, Intervision Picture Corp.), known also as "Cannibal World", "Horror Cannibal 2", "Cannibal Holocaust 2", and "Cannibal Holocaust: The Beginning." Needless to say, it's about cannibalism.

The "Mondo" angle is a bit misleading, however, since this is neither an actual "Mondo Cane"-type documentary nor a mockumentary, although there's one scene near the beginning that looks real enough. Grace (played by Helena Wagner) and her boss, the TV network president, are viewing footage of what's purported to be actual cannibals preparing a corpse for feasting, and it looks like the real thing--disgustingly so--although it might simply be a prelude to a crude cremation.

Still, it's the one part of the movie that you won't want to watch while eating a nice, drippy, all-meat pizza or a steaming bowl of goulash. In other words, it's wicked grotty, innit.

The rest of the movie consists of Grace and her crew on an increasingly wacky jungle adventure filming fake natives running around killing each other with rubber clubs and feasting on the bloody entrails of their victims like a bunch of freaked-out "fast-moving" zombies.

The grossest thing about these scenes (and their rudimentary but fun gore SPFX) is wondering what the hell is that stringy slop the energetic extras are shoving into their mouths with such ravenous glee--it looks like spaghetti mixed with something somebody dug out of a dumpster behind a butcher shop.

Recording all this horror eventually isn't enough for Grace and her gang, who before long are in the thick of the carnage themselves as they attack a village and set fire to the huts, which are filled with screaming natives, while gleefully raping and massacring everyone in sight.

This rampant savagery is a weird and sudden change for Grace's environmental-advocate partner Bob Manson (Claudio Morales)--supposedly the "conscience" of the group--and her technical crew including cute blonde Cindy (Cindy Matic), whose main purpose on the expedition is to add to the film's brief nudity quotient.

Meanwhile, back in civilization, the TV executives (with the sole exception of one gray-haired bigwig with a weak stomach) are, to coin a phrase, "eating it all up" as the ratings skyrocket.

MONDO CANNIBAL is surprisingly competent in the technical department, with some nice location work including lovely shots of what is supposed to be Hong Kong (although the credits state that this was filmed entirely in the Phillipines). One of the funniest parts of the film is the title at the beginning of this sequence: "Hong Kong: Some Mouths Before..."

Performances are fair to, well, fair, but what star Helena Wagner lacks in finesse she makes up for with pure wire-taut intensity. Her efforts and those of the rest of the cast are hampered by bad dubbing and some jarringly dumb dialogue that adds to the perverse entertainment value.

The main drawback is that much of the earlier part of the film is just plain boring. Things definitely pick up later on, however, when the story starts edging its way over the top before spilling all the way over into a bloodbath of goofy gore and even goofier plot twists.

The DVD from Intervision Picture Corp. is in full frame with Dolby Digital stereo sound. No subtitles. The only bonus feature is a trailer.

In case you haven't gleaned as much from my description already, MONDO CANNIBAL isn't exactly the sort of entertainment to accompany your next Martha Stewart-style dinner soirée. But if you're in the mood for some severely whacked-out ultra-gore goodness packed with psychotic sadism and lacking any sense of decency whatsoever, then this should serve as a suitably sordid main course.

MONDO CANNIBAL -- DVD Review by Porfle

MONDO BALORDO -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 7/9/20

 

It's the same old "mondo" mockumentary that we've seen numerous times before, and indeed these things seem as though they're churned out like sausage and packaged with new labels, but the difference with MONDO BALORDO, aka "A Fool's World" (Severin Films, 1964), is that it's narrated by none other than venerable Boris Karloff in his unmistakably dulcet tones.

This is sorta the flipside of Bela Lugosi's dour commentary on the human race in Ed Wood's GLEN OR GLENDA? "People! All going somewhere!" Bela grumbled with a scowl in that oddball classic, while Boris, in contrast, is at his most jovial here while narrating his way through the incredibly verbose script he's been handed--possibly more words than the actor ever uttered in a single movie--and seems to be rather amused by its non-stop, unabashed ridiculousness.

As always, naughty sex tales, trivia, legends, and anecdotes abound, whether joking vignettes staged for the film or actual documentary footage of strange social and sexual customs from around the world.

A Miss America contest which appears to have been held on an Italian soundstage gives way to Bedouin prostitutes selling their wares in desert tents or tribal natives engaging in unusual courting and marriage rituals.

The editing and continuity are also characteristically random. Just when we've settled into watching an attractive woman stripping for some Asian businessmen, a jarring edit places us in the wilds of Africa where a lion is savagely killing and feasting upon a zebra. Later we witness an actual exorcism in India which involves a chicken (you don't want to know how).

Homosexuality is again one of the film's major taboos to explore, as we're once again invited to marvel at how feminine the transvestites look as they dance with regularly-garbed gay men or enjoy the sight of lebians cavorting together in the sanctity of underground nightclubs.

Those who enjoy watching dwarves go about their daily lives are also indulged as we observe a diminutive hooker servicing her customer in the backseat of an abandoned car parked in an alley.

Elsewhere a man barely a meter tall in a crazy zoot suit shows off some incredible acrobatic dance moves in front of a hot rock and roll band. This guy is probably my favorite part of the whole film, partly because he's just so entertaining and partly because he helped rouse me out of the drowsy stupor that much of the rest of MONDO BALORDO was lulling me into.

Let's face it--despite its cornucopia of utter strangeness and some truly bizarre sights, much of this is a rather boring and even confusing experience. It's as though dozens of film clips of various unrelated sex jokes, titillating (for 60s standards) footage both real and staged, and standard travelogue stuff from several exotic locations around the world were swept up off the cutting room floor, thrown into a blender, pasted together, and made more palatable by having our beloved Boris bless it all with his warmly inviting vocal inflections.

The Blu-ray from Severin Films is scanned in 4K from the original negative which is in decent shape for an old and obscure film rarity of this type. (Any inherent imperfections in picture quality only add to its nostalgic appeal for me.) Anamorphic widescreen 1.66:1. Audio is English mono, with English subtitles.

Extras consist of a trailer and an added feature, THE ORIENTALS (1960), a genuine travelogue of various far Eastern locations that's told through the eyes of six women and which was scanned from a 35mm print in the Something Weird archives.

As per my usual disclaimer, many viewers will have absolutely no desire to subject themselves to such a strange mash-up of the banal and the bizarre as MONDO BALORDO--while on the other hand, there are those who will hungrily inhale this weirdly intoxicating sleazefest just like the hopeless drug addicts we see awaiting their daily fix of brain-rotting bliss.


Buy it from Severin Films

MONDO BALORDO -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

THE WILD, WILD WORLD OF JAYNE MANSFIELD -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 7/8/20

 

The trailer describes it as "Mondo Mansfield", which is fitting since THE WILD, WILD WORLD OF JAYNE MANSFIELD (Severin Films, 1968) plays just like one of those old "mondo" mockumentaries, but in this case narrated by and presided over by the curvaceous Miss M herself.

Fans of both the strikingly oddball "mondo" film genre and of the well-endowed actress herself should be enthralled by this cinematic grab bag consisting of footage of Jayne traveling the world mixed with comedic sexual vignettes and other naughty material that originally garnered it an "X" rating.

Such fans won't be put off, as will many other viewers, by the overwhelming cheesiness of the entire affair, as Jayne sashays through the streets of Rome, Paris, New York, and Hollywood amidst throngs of fans, visiting famous tourist attractions by day and more forbidden haunts such as strip clubs, gay bars, drag contests, avenues of prostitution, and other titillating sites by night.

All the while we're treated to her running commentary ("Even midgets and dwarves need sex", "In America, a girl with a beautiful bust line can make her fortune. Well, look at me! I'm proof of that", "The boys looked more feminine than the girls!") which, in fact, was dubbed post-production by a voice actress. 

This is augmented by stills and footage from Jayne's films such as 1960's "The Loves of Hercules" (where she met future husband Mickey Hargitay), "Promises..... Promises!" (1963), "Primitive Love" (1964), and one of her most famous film appearances in "Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?" (1957). We also get to see her nude layout in Playboy.

Helping the film earn its "X" rating are some scenes of nudity on beaches and in burlesque houses as well as some topless shots of Jayne as she contemplates joining some nudists but is too shy to go "all the way." There's also much risque' humor as well as the various other adult themes which were quite strong stuff at the time.

While the film has the same jauntily silly attitude and wince-inducing comedy as other such titillating travelogues, as well as the same home-movie production values, its final ten minutes of so take a jarring turn into true exploitation territory with graphic photos and descriptions of Jayne Mansfield's tragic death in an auto accident during production.

Grainy news photos of her horribly smashed car and lifeless body lying covered on the side of the road remain as shocking as ever, and even the small dog that Jayne clutches so fondly during the entire film is seen lying dead amidst the debris.

Here, Jayne's "wild, wild world" suddenly morphs into a stridently-narrated wallow in total sleaze as one can sense the filmmakers realizing what an exploitation gold mine their work-in-progress had suddenly become upon the death of their star.

It culminates in maudlin footage of her husband Mickey Hargitay and their two sons mourning her loss at their once-happy mansion with its heart-shaped swimming pool inscribed by Mickey with the words "I Love Jayne."

The Blu-ray from Severin Films is scanned from Something Weird's rare 35mm archival print and retains that wonderful grindhouse look--specks, scratches, faded color, and so on--which fill me with such an old-movie lover's delight. The bonus menu contains the SD video master version of the film as well, with its richer color scenes.

Also included is the featurette "The Devil and Jayne" which covers her surprising and, for me anyway, downright shocking connection to satanist Anton LaVey and all that very unhealthy and off-putting stuff. There's also a trailer and a bonus full-length "mondo"-style documentary, "Wild, Weird, Wonderful Italians", which is much more of a true-to-life travelogue than the main feature.

As with most films of its ilk, THE WILD, WILD WORLD OF JAYNE MANSFIELD will be like garlic to a vampire for many viewers less receptive to the sleazy, the shamelessly exploitative, and the wretchedly cheap.  But for the recklessly adventuresome grunge-movie gourmet, it will be like garlic on a big, scrumptious Italian pizza with everything on it.

THE WILD, WILD WORLD OF JAYNE MANSFIELD -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle