HEIDI (2015) -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 3/25/17

 

Before, whenever I heard the name "Heidi", I thought of Shirley Temple being cute, or a children's book that I never read, or, most infamously, an American Football League game between the Oakland Raiders and the New York Jets on November 17, 1968 which, during an intensely suspenseful fourth quarter, was suddenly interrupted by NBC for the premiere of a brand new "Heidi" TV-movie, causing frenzied football fans all along the East Coast to tear their hair out in utter, gibbering consternation.

But that was before.  Now, having just seen the latest Swedish film adaptation of Johanna Spyri's 1881 children's book HEIDI (2015), not only has my perception of the story gone up considerably, but you might even call me a fan.  At least, a fan of this wonderfully rendered and exquisitely produced version.

Anuk Steffen is disarmingly endearing in the title role as a young orphan girl pawned off on her gruff grandfather by an uncaring aunt. Grandfather is played by Bruno Ganz, known mainly these days as Adolf Hitler in DOWNFALL (2004) thanks to all those "Hitler Reacts" video memes on the internet.

 

Here, he convincingly plays an old hermit living on a mountaintop in the Swiss Alps who rejects the child at first but eventually warms up to and then learns to love her.

The mountain sequences are dazzling with their beautiful locations and photography, whether during the lush green spring and summer or the frosty snow of winter.  Heidi frolics almost as a feral child, accompanying her young friend Peter during his daily goatherding duties or just hanging out with and gradually humanizing the once misanthropic old man. 

Her happiness is short-lived, however, when mercenary Aunt Dete (Anna Schinz) returns and takes her away to the city to live with a wealthy widower--and mostly absentee father--as a companion to his wheelchair-bound daughter, Klara (Isabelle Ottmann), an arrangment from which the unscrupulous aunt makes a tidy profit.

 

Although Heidi and Klara become fast friends, Heidi's life is made miserable by the stiflingly formal regimen of upper-class life (where she is addressed by her real name, Adelheid) personified by stiff, sadistic governess Miss Rottenmeier (Katharina Schüttler), who more than lives up to her name.

Thus, Heidi's dilemma is that she yearns to escape back to Grandfather and her beautiful mountaintop home but also dreads leaving poor Klara alone in her dreary, joyless existence. 

Director Alain Gsponer (LIFE ACTUALLY) has a very nimble and imaginative style that adapts well to the various settings.  The cinematography is consistently fine, as is the film's musical score. 

While the Swiss Alps provide some incredible eye-candy, even the believably gritty city and village settings are impeccably rendered and totally convincing.  The mansion scenes are suitably oppressive, sort of like a children's story as written by one of the Brontë sisters. I also sense something of a GREYSTOKE vibe at times, so jarring is Heidi's forced transition into so-called civilized life, with a bit of A LITTLE PRINCESS thrown in as well.

The cast are so good at their roles and the script so well-written that Heidi's story is effortlessly engaging from beginning to end.  Her eventual reunion with Grandfather and her precious mountains delivers a well-earned emotional catharsis. 

One of the film's main strengths is that it takes its story seriously--the drama and pathos are realistically handled, and lighthearted moments spring naturally from the situations without seeming forced or artificially cute.

The DVD from Omnibus Entertainment and Film Movement is in 2.40:1 widescreen with 5.1 and 2.0 Dolby surround sound.  Dubbed English or original German with English subtitles are available.  No extras.

I feel now as though I've been missing out on this story all these years, although I can't imagine it being presented in such a realistic and satisfying fashion as it is here.  There's so much more to this version of HEIDI than its innocuous-sounding title might suggest, and it should please both children and the adults who watch it with them to an equal degree. 

HEIDI (2015) -- DVD Review by Porfle

Pippi Longstocking Says A Cuss Word ("Pippi On The Run", 1970) (video)

To watch this video on YouTube, click here.

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

Pippi Longstocking Says A Cuss Word ("Pippi On The Run", 1970) (video)

CHARLIE BROWN'S CHRISTMAS TALES -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 12/16/10

 

Most fans of Charles Schulz' "Peanuts" no doubt have a special place in their hearts for those animated specials that have been popping up on TV off and on for over forty years.  If it's been awhile since you watched one, you can relive old memories with CHARLIE BROWN'S CHRISTMAS TALES, a good example of the best and worst of the lot. 

First up on this DVD is the title piece from 2002, which is a series of Christmas vignettes loosely linked by the seasonal theme, each showcasing a particular character.  There's no main plot linking them all together, but each mini-story is charming and engaging on its own. 

The episodes play like those "Peanuts" comics that followed a single story thread for several strips, and watching it is like reading an animated version of one of Schulz' paperback compilations.  In fact, I have a feeling these were actually taken right from the comics.  The setups and punchlines come one after another just as though we're paging through one of those comics collections, and they're deftly delivered like a stand-up comedian on a roll.

Our favorite characters get the spotlight in turn, beginning with Snoopy, who's taken up being an accordion-playing street corner Santa.  An example of the classic set-up and punchline style on display here: Lucy and Linus walk by Snoopy-Santa as he squeezes out a tune, there's a pause, and then Lucy remarks, "I don't know, Linus...to me, 'Oh Susanna' just doesn't sound very Christmassy."  (In a nod to past glories, Snoopy then switches to the theme song from "A Charlie Brown Christmas.")

Obsessive-compulsive Linus spends his segment agonizing over how to address Santa in his letter and dealing with his romantic feelings for a mysterious girl in his class who changes her name every day.  Charlie Brown's little sister Sally, one of my favorite characters, is concerned with trying to get her "sweet Baboo" Linus to notice her.  She also must deal with her embarrassment over mistakenly thinking "Santa" Claus is "Samantha" Claus and her quest to obtain a Christmas tree by willing one to fall down rather than having to chop it down.

Lucy resolves to be nicer than ever, which naturally makes her more crabby than before.  We see her wooing the reluctant Schroeder and trying to convince Linus that the Bible dictates he give her a Christmas present.  Charlie Brown, as always, simply reacts to the various indignities and absurdities that are thrust upon him daily.

Vince Guaraldi's irresistible and instantly-recognizable music is nicely arranged and performed by David Benoit, and the voice work is good.  "Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales" is a briskly-paced series of brightly funny gags that are smartly drawn and animated, breathing new life into these long-running characters.

The second feature on the disc, "Is This Goodbye, Charlie Brown?", came out around the tail end of the vintage Charlie Brown specials and isn't nearly as memorable as the earlier ones.  It seems as though writer Charles Schulz' heart wasn't really in this one, which had the potential to be one of the series most heartfelt stories.

This time Linus and Lucy are moving away due to their father's job relocation, and Charlie Brown faces the loss of his two best friends.  Such an event is important in a kid's life, and we expect something more substantial than this episodic, disjointed narrative.  With Linus and Lucy gone, the story veers into a lengthy and rather unspecial subplot about Peppermint Pattie's dogged attempts to get Charlie Brown to ask her for a date.  An abrupt wrap-up follows this uninteresting detour from the main story, which isn't developed very well at all.

Besides an awful musical score (not by Vince Guaraldi), subpar vocal talent, and some iffy character design, "Goodbye" commits a cardinal sin--showing adult characters onscreen.  Watching this when it first aired back in 1983, I remember thinking how jarring it was when the moving men were shown loading the Van Pelts' belongings into a van.  "Peanuts" has always been a kids-only world, where the closest thing to a grownup was the comically distorted "voice" of Charlie Brown's nagging teacher.  So, to casually introduce some anonymous adult characters from out of the blue is, to me, a bothersome misstep.


The Warner Brothers DVD is in standard TV format and Dolby Digital sound with English and French subtitles.  Also included are trailers for other Peanuts DVDs. 

Now that I think of it, the disappointing "Is This Goodbye, Charlie Brown?" is probably the reason I finally quit watching these "Peanuts" specials altogether.  So it's nice to see that, with "Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales", the old magic was restored.  Of course, all of this nitpicking comes from the point of view of a grownup, and, despite my comically distorted gripes, kids will probably manage to enjoy both of these stories just fine.

CHARLIE BROWN'S CHRISTMAS TALES -- DVD Review by Porfle

"HURT" by Alvin & The Chipmunks (video)

Video by Porfle Popnecker

Song "Hurt" by Trent Reznor

Sung by Johnny Cash

I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

"HURT" by Alvin & The Chipmunks (video)

Wicked Witch Actress Margaret Hamilton Seriously Burned While Filming "The Wizard Of Oz" (1939) (video)

Margaret Hamilton was memorable as the Wicked Witch of the West.

But the iconic role proved a painful one in this scene.

During her disappearance through a trap door in the floor...

...a burst of flame was ignited too soon.

She received 2nd and 3rd degree burns on her face and hand.

Hamilton returned to work after recuperating for six weeks...

...but staunchly refused to do any more fire-related scenes.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Wicked Witch Actress Margaret Hamilton Seriously Burned While Filming "The Wizard Of Oz" (1939) (video)

PEANUTS: EMMY® HONORED COLLECTION -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 9/12/15

 

If you still wax nostalgic over those wonderful old prime-time "Peanuts" specials, you may want to check out the 2-disc DVD set from Warner Home Entertainment, PEANUTS: EMMY® HONORED COLLECTION, which contains eleven half-hour cartoons from the 70s, 80s, and 90s. 

All are Emmy nominees (two are winners), and each one features that familiar crude drawing style and limited animation that have somehow always been ideal for bringing Charles Schulz's "Peanuts" comic strip to life. 

These later cartoons, however, tend to lack that sweet, indefinable magic that the earlier classics such as "A Charlie Brown Christmas" (1965) and "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" (1966) had in such abundance.  Most also lack the delightful cool jazz music by Vince Guaraldi that most people know by heart.

The plots (all written by Schulz) tend to meander somewhat and are often rather sitcom-like compared to the richness of the earlier stories and characterizations.  The best ones stick close to home and explore familiar situations that both kids and adults can identify with.

Taken on their own, these cartoons all get at least an A for effort and are more easygoing, good-natured, and positive than most of the stuff being made for children today. And at their best, they manage to achieve moments that are genuinely moving and even profound.

In "You're the Greatest, Charlie Brown", Charlie Brown enters the Junior Olympics but is stuck competing in the most difficult event--the Decathlon--with the whole school depending on him to win.  With the help of trainer Peppermint Patty and her assistant Marcie, plus Snoopy as surprise contestant The Masked Marvel, Charlie's dogged effort to exceed expectations is matched only by Schulz's earnest attempts to wring laughs out of the situation.

Yet another sports-competition story, "She's a Good Skate, Charlie Brown" boasts some lovely moments with Peppermint Patty gliding around on the ice (actual skaters' movements were studied by the animators) although plotwise not much happens. 

"It's Magic, Charlie Brown" finds Charlie Brown insisting that Snoopy go to the library and check out some books to read. One of them is a book on magic, and before you know it Snoopy is putting on his own magic show as The Great Houndini.  During the show he makes Charlie Brown disappear but forgets how to bring him back. 

"Someday You’ll Find Her, Charlie Brown" is one of those unrequited love tales with Charlie Brown falling for a little girl he sees during a football game on TV.  Enlisting Linus' help he tracks her down but is shocked when she and Linus are instantly smitten with each other. 

"Is This Goodbye, Charlie Brown?" is the only one of these that I remember seeing first-run, and it's the first time I noticed the animators beginning to show random adults interacting with the kids, which just doesn't work. (Before, adults were represented only by the off-screen bleating of brass instruments.)  The story of Charlie Brown's best friends Linus and Lucy moving away has much potential that isn't really explored--a plot detour in which Peppermint Patty tries to get romantic with "Chuck" in her own clumsy way takes up much of the running time after the departure of the Van Pelts.

Snoopy joins the circus in "Life is a Circus, Charlie Brown", a largely forgettable entry.  Next, however, is the remarkable "What Have We Learned, Charlie Brown?" which finds the gang as exchange students in France.  After the usual comical misadventures they suddenly find themselves on Omaha Beach.  With a somber Linus gravely recounting the story of the D-Day invasion, this tribute to WWII veterans manages to achieve a profundity that I found both surprising and deeply moving.  Score a big A+ for Schulz and company for this one, although strangely enough it isn't one of the Emmy winners.

Finally, an episode that gets back to basics with the kids in their familiar habitats (home, school, neighborhood, etc.) with "It's Flashbeagle, Charlie Brown."  It's sorta plotless, and is basically a series of music videos each celebrating a particular character in song-and-dance style, but it's fun.  I especially enjoyed "The Pigpen Hoedown."

"Snoopy's Getting Married, Charlie Brown" is the one I enjoyed the least, partly because the story of Charlie Brown and his friends throwing an elaborate wedding for Snoopy and a poodle in his backyard is pretty dumb, and partly because guest-star Spike, Snoopy's scraggly desert-rat brother, is one of my least favorite Peanuts characters.  I found this one a chore to endure.

"Why, Charlie Brown, Why?" is another one that mixes random silliness with a solemn subject, this time with Linus' friend Janice being diagnosed with leukemia.  A couple of scenes showing her dealing with the disease and Linus' reactions to it are truly touching.  "You're a Good Sport, Charlie Brown" wraps up the set with Charlie Brown and Peppermint Patty entering a motocross contest. 

The 2-disc set from Warner Home Entertainment is in the original standard format with Dolby 5.1 sound and subtitles in various languages.  There are no bonus features.

After the first few initial "Peanuts" cartoons which appealed to both kids and adults, they gradually started being aimed chiefly toward younger viewers with plots that included more fanciful elements.  As such, kids should get a kick out of PEANUTS: EMMY® HONORED COLLECTION, especially the cartoons in the set which focus on everyday problems and situations that they can relate to. 
 
Buy it at the WBShop.com
Street date: Sept. 15, 2015

PEANUTS: EMMY® HONORED COLLECTION -- DVD Review by Porfle

SPOOKLEY THE SQUARE PUMPKIN -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/19/17
 

 

It's funny how computer-animated cartoons that would've amazed people and won technical awards back in the 80s have become such an everyday thing now.  Still, I sometimes get a kick out of seeing one of these CGI cartoons with the colorful 3D-ish characters and elaborate backgrounds that remind me of moving Viewmaster reels.  And if the story is engaging enough, all the better.

Disney Junior's SPOOKLEY THE SQUARE PUMPKIN (Cinedigm) meets those criteria well enough for a TV production, at least for me anyway.  The characters are expressive and likable, the settings eye-pleasing, the songs enjoyable, and the story by children's book author Joe Troiano is sweet, simple, and comfortingly predictable.

It all begins when a square pumpkin is discovered in the pumpkin patch of Holiday Hill Farm.  This causes grave unrest among the more intolerant in the garden, embodied by a George-and-Lenny pair of pumpkins ("Big Tom" and "Litte Tom") joined by a weirdly umbilical-like vine and very vocal against any pumpkin who isn't properly round as they are. 

These bullies and their bigotry against anyone different from themselves form the basis for the story's lesson on acceptance, which, thankfully, doesn't pile-drive us quite as much as one might suspect. 

In fact, most of the characters, including friendly scarecrow Jack (the patch's amiable leader), brother and sister bats Boris and Bella (Boris craves bugs while Bella admonishes him for wanting to devour their sentient friends), spiders Edgar, Allan, and Poe ("With an 'E'!"), and vain beauty-queen pumpkin Bobo, are actually more-or-less pretty decent toward Spookley.

Square peg Spookley remains insecure even when his comical spider friends persuade him to enter Jack's "Jack-A-Lympics" competition to decide the Pick of the Patch (mainly so they can get their hands on the candy corn crown). 

Naturally, his unusual shape dooms his chances in each round, inviting a fair amount of thoughtless ridicule from the others.  It isn't until a raging storm hits the farm and everyone comes frighteningly close to a bad end that the little square pumpkin's shape enables him to rescue everyone.

As I said, it's all comfortingly predictable.  I must confess to not knowing just how kids these days react to this kind of stuff--I would've been entranced by it, and even now find it pleasantly watchable.   

The characters are pretty funny, and the frequent song-and-dance numbers--some with backup by Pointer Sisters-like trio "The Honey-Doos" and even a few musical ghosts--not only entertain with their clever lyrics and bouncy choreography but also come and go without outstaying their welcome. 

The 2-disc Blu-ray/DVD combo from Cinedigm is in standard television format with English, Spanish, and French 2.0 soundtracks and English SDH subtitles.  Extras consist of five (non-HD) video storybooks, each based on a Joe Troiano book and lasting about five minutes: The Legend of Spookley the Square Pumpkin, The Legend of Beacon the Bright Little Firefly, The Legend of JellyBean and the Unbreakable Egg, The Legend of Lyla the Lovesick Ladybug, and The Legend of Mistletoe and the Christmas Kittens. 

The first of these, "The Legend of Spookley the Square Pumpkin", is read by none other than Bobby "Boris" Pickett of "Monster Mash" fame.  Pickett also sings the main feature's "Monster Mash"-like end titles song, "The Transylvania Twist."

SPOOKLEY THE SQUARE PUMPKIN is ideal small-scale fun for (say it with me) "kids of all ages."  The little ones won't suspect they're being taught a lesson about tolerance even as Spookley's ultimately heartwarming tale leaves them with a Jack o' Lantern smile.

SPOOKLEY THE SQUARE PUMPKIN -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle

WHEN THE WIND BLOWS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 4/24/20

 

Did you ever wonder what it would look like if THREADS had a cartoon-animated subplot? Or if the creators of "Wallace & Gromit" had placed their beloved characters in the middle of a nuclear holocaust?

Children's author Raymond Briggs conceived such an idea in a graphic novel which a group of filmmakers including director Jimmy T. Murakami (HEAVY METAL, BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS) brought to the screen, thus giving us the entrancingly compelling cinematic oddity entitled WHEN THE WIND BLOWS (Severin Kids, 1986).

Unlike the frantically alarmist apocalypse thrillers to which we're accustomed, this tale of an elderly couple whose peaceful retirement is shattered by nuclear war is quietly, disarmingly genteel.

We first see them enjoying a typical day in their secluded cottage, chatting absently about tea and gardening and such, while news of impending war sparks Jim's interest and motivates him into a mildly industrious fervor of preparation that brings back nostalgic feelings of the Blitz.

Meanwhile, Hilda (whom Jim endearingly calls "Ducks") refuses to entertain the notion that anything could disturb their blissful daily routines, their ability to pop down to a shop for fresh food or other supplies, or their access to telly or radio plays. 

These are the sort of likable, roundly-drawn cartoon characters (they look a bit like cuddly plush dolls) we know from a thousand children's books and movies, characters whose only concerns should be gentle, placid ones such as, say, a naughty bunny rabbit helping himself to their carrot garden.

Here, however, their idyllic lives are disrupted when the harsh, cruel reality of the really-real world ruptures the curtain of their cartoon dimension and leaves it all a charred, smoking ruin with a dark cloud of radioactive fallout drifting through it.

Jim and Hilda are similar to the older couple in THREADS with their lean-to shelter in the livingroom providing sparse protection against the blast and their halfhearted efforts to stock food, water, and other necessities quickly proving inadequate. 

What makes them different is that they continue to behave just like endearing cartoon figures out of a children's story, with Jim remaining a font of quiet optimism--after all, they lived through something similar back when they fought the Jerries--and Hilda blessedly oblivious to the fact that she can't just tidy things up and wait for the milkman to come.

The restraint shown by the filmmakers in not giving in to the usual dramatic overkill makes the encroaching horrors Jim and Hilda inevitably face seem even more wrenching, with their continued devotion to each other through it all especially heartrending as their ordinary storybook lives crumble to dust.

Artwork and animation are expertly done, using a combination of various methods such as cel animation, a bit of CGI, what appears to be some miniature work on the interiors, and the occasional well-integrated live action footage. 

The musical score includes songs by David Bowie, Roger Waters, and others. Jim and Hilda are wonderfully voiced by venerable actors Sir John Mills and Dame Peggy Ashcroft.

The Blu-ray from Severin Films' "Severin Kids" label contains their usual ample menu, including a documentary about the director ("Jimmy Murakami: Non Alien"), a making-of featurette ("The Wind and the Bomb"), an audio commentary with first assistant editor Joe Fordham and film historian Nick Redman, an interview with children's author Raymond Briggs, an original public information film ("Protect and Serve"), isolated music and effects audio track, and trailers.

In its own remarkable way, WHEN THE WIND BLOWS is one of the darkest and most disheartening of the post-nuclear nightmare tales. It's like watching Wallace and Gromit slowly withering away from radiation poisoning, and, worst of all, Wallace finally realizing at the point of dying that there may never, ever be any more cheese.


Buy it from Severin Films

Special Features:

    Jimmy Murakami: Non Alien – Feature Length Documentary About the Film’s Director
    The Wind and The Bomb: The Making of WHEN THE WIND BLOWS
    Audio Commentary with First Assistant Editor Joe Fordham and Film Historian Nick Redman
    An Interview with Raymond Briggs
    Protect and Survive: Public Information Film Designed to be Broadcast When a Nuclear Attack Was Imminent
    Isolated Music and Effects Audio Track
    Trailers

WHEN THE WIND BLOWS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

16 WISHES -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 11/13/10

 

When you're considerably older than the target audience, watching a Disney Channel teen comedy can be like swallowing a golf ball.  At worst, you choke on it and die.  At best, even successfully swallowing the damn thing can be a distressing experience.  Fortunately, 16 WISHES (2010) isn't quite the painful ordeal I was dreading when I sat down to watch it.

It sure starts out that way, though--when we see Abby (Debby Ryan, "The Suite Life on Deck") pop out of bed and start freaking out because it's her "Sweet 16th" birthday, we instantly hate her.  Abby is spoiled, selfish, obnoxious, cutesy, and kind of an airhead.  She's rude to her mom and dad and little brother Mike (Cainan Wiebe, who looks so much like a young Barry Williams that I half-expected him to start crooning "Clowns never laughed before" at any moment) when they burst into her room with a birthday cake, and throws them out. 

She also can't figure out why her cute neighbor Krista (Karissa Tynes, JENNIFER'S BODY, DEAR MR. GACY), who shares the same birthday, hates her and has always done her best to one-up her in everything.  But we can sympathize, and we've only known Abby for five minutes. 

Naturally, Abby has a best guy-friend named Jay (Jean-Luc Bilodeau, TRICK 'R TREAT) who has always loved her although she doesn't realize it because she's hung up on the dashing school quarterback.  Jay is the male equivalent of Mary Stuart Masterson's character in SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL, along with similar characters in countless other teen comedies.  We know that by the end of the film, Abby will realize how wonderful Jay is, but for now let's pretend that we don't know that.
 

Also, when a magical fairy godmother named Celeste (the pixie-like Anna Mae Routledge, 2012, "Harper's Island") shows up and gives Abby sixteen candles which will grant her the sixteen fondest wishes she's had since she was eight years old, we know that sooner or later these wishes will backfire on Abby and she'll come to realize that her life is just fine the way it is.  But again, for now we'll act like we don't know this, or that Abby is going to come through her impending ordeal a much better person with a greater appreciation for the good things she already has, which is the sneaky hidden lesson 16 WISHES is just itching to spring on unsuspecting teen viewers.

In the meantime, the fun part about the movie is the vicarious thrill of instant wish-fulfillment such as having the coolest clothes, a new car complete with driver's license, intense school-wide popularity, and all sorts of other great stuff that Abby can rub in Krista's face, including having a totally better Sweet 16 birthday party than her.  But then--wouldn't you know it--Abby makes the fatal mistake of wishing that everyone would stop treating her like a kid.  Whoops!  Next thing you know, her parents move her into her own apartment, she gets thrown out of school, and Jay won't let her near him because he's still 17 and she's suddenly (gasp) 21.  Is he nuts?  When I was 17, having a 21-year-old babe stalking me would've been my biggest freakin' wish.
 

The rest of the movie is like a teenybopper cross between "The Twilight Zone" and IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE, which actually makes 16 WISHES kind of entertaining despite the fact that it's still a candy-coated bubblegum flick with unappealing cinematography and vertigo-inducing camerawork and editing.  While Abby isn't made to suffer the depths of despair that George Bailey went through, her predicament is still interesting enough to make us care about her character, especially when the whole thing teaches her to become a better person which, as I mentioned before, we pretty much knew was going to happen.

The DVD from Image Entertainment is 1.78:1 with Dolby Digital 5.1 surround sound.  No subtitles.  Extras include interviews with the two stars, Debby Ryan and Jean-Luc Bilodeau, which can be a pretty frightening prospect with these Disney Channel movies, but fortunately they're very brief.  There's also a music video with Debby performing the catchy, hook-filled theme song, "A Wish Comes True Everyday", and outtakes during the closing credits.

Once you stop wishing for a really awesome movie and just settle for dumb fun, 16 WISHES isn't all that bad.  As far as swallowing golf balls goes, this one actually went down pretty easy.

16 WISHES -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE HARDY BOYS: THE MYSTERY OF THE APPLEGATE TREASURE -- Serial Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 8/26/21

 

Currently watching: THE HARDY BOYS: THE MYSTERY OF THE APPLEGATE TREASURE (1956), a 19-part serial produced by Disney to be shown in daily installments (approx. 11 minutes each) during consecutive episodes of "The Mickey Mouse Club."

This adaptation of Leslie McFarlane's book "The Hardy Boys: The Tower Treasure" should appeal to fans of the Hardy Boys detective stories by Franklin W. Dixon (a pen name for a stable of largely uncredited writers hired by the Stratemeyer Syndicate publishing company), which debuted in 1927 and remained popular for several decades.

Those who are nostalgic for the kind of clean, wholesome family entertainment created by Disney in the 50s and 60s should also derive great satisfaction from this modest but appealing preteen-oriented serial, filmed mostly on elaborately-rendered soundstage sets depicting the Hardys' entire neighborhood, the Applegate estate, and other Bayport locations.

 

It's just the sort of thing to feed into the adventure fantasies of young boys of the era: Frank and Joe Hardy, sons of famous private detective Fenton Hardy, live in the picket-fence suburbs of the small, mostly quiet town of Bayport, but yearn to be detectives like their father and join him in solving mysteries.

But their father, who's often away from home because of his job, doesn't approve of such dangerous doings, and neither does their spinster Aunt Gertrude, who lives with them and keeps a tight rein on the boys.

Despite this, however, Frank and Joe manage to sneak away from the house often enough to get involved in the mystery of eccentric old Silas Applegate and the fortune in pirate gold that's said to be hidden somewhere on his property, perhaps even behind the wall of a crumbling old tower that looms over his estate, and is sought after by a range of unsavory types.

 

 

In order to appeal to young viewers of "The Mickey Mouse Club", Frank and Joe are a year or so younger here than in the books, their ages ranging from about 12-14. The older Frank is played by Tim Considine, already popular from Disney's "Spin and Marty" series, and the role of younger, more impetuous Joe is the official debut of new Disney star Tommy Kirk, whose considerable acting skills are apparent in his often intense and frenetic performance.

Frank and Joe are typical, identifiable boys for that era, with their flattop haircuts, T-shirts, jeans with the cuffs rolled up, and sneakers--ideal role models to stimulate the vivid imaginations and wish fulfillment fantasies of Disney's young audience.

For female viewers, there's the Hardys' friend Iola Morton, who has a desperate crush on the girl-hating Joe and manages to get herself involved in all the boys' adventures.  Iola is brought to vivid life by the cute-as-a-button Carole Ann Campbell, who had a regrettably brief film and TV career before losing interest in Hollywood and moving on. 

 

Fenton Hardy's character is somewhat changed from the books. To me, he was always a distinguished, quietly dependable and capable Hugh Beaumont type. Here, Russ Conway brings him to the screen as a rather frumpy, almost seedy private detective who lacks empathy with his boys and fails to realize their potential as his successors until it is demonstrated to him.

Oddly, the TV show omits Mrs. Hardy and gives us their Aunt Gertrude (Sarah Selby) as a sort of surrogate mother, considerably softening her literary image as a nagging harridan (I always pictured her as a stern Edna Mae Oliver type). This was done with the belief that it was more acceptable for the boys to disobey their aunt than their mother when sneaking out to pursue their detective work.

The story itself takes its own sweet time unfolding over the series' 19 chapters, as the Hardys deal with crotchety old Mr. Applegate (Florenz Ames), his burly caretaker and plumber Jackley (Robert Foulk), wrongly-accused reform school refugee Perry Robinson (Donald McDonald), and slippery, mischievous ex-convict Boles (Arthur Shields, brother of actor Barry Fitzgerald who appeared with him in John Ford's THE QUIET MAN).

 

Boles may have knowledge of the treasure's whereabouts, Jackley may be crookeder than he seems, cutlass-wielding old Applegate is possibly quite mad, and the whole affair stretches out in unremarkable but quite pleasant fashion until finally Frank and Joe cut through the murky mystery with their burgeoning detective skills and solve the whole thing in a moodily-photographed final chapter that puts them in a modest amount of actual danger.

I don't know if today's kids would have the patience, the desire, or even the ability to get carried along by this kind of low-key, unsensationalistic entertainment. I hope they do, lest they miss something that's actually quite rare and wonderful in its own way. For me, "The Hardy Boys: The Mystery of the Applegate Treasure" is sweet, soulful nostalgia in its purest and most potent form.

 

THE HARDY BOYS: THE MYSTERY OF THE APPLEGATE TREASURE -- Serial Review by Porfle

THE SWAN PRINCESS: ROYALLY UNDERCOVER -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 3/27/17

 

I'm not that big a fan of the endless parade of digital "cartoons" these days, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy an engaging and pleasantly-rendered romp like THE SWAN PRINCESS: ROYALLY UNDERCOVER (2017) when it comes my way. 

Directed by former Disney animation director Richard Rich, it's the sixth direct-to-video sequel to his 1994 theatrical film THE SWAN PRINCESS which was done with old-school handpainted cel animation (which I sorely miss) as were the first three sequels. 

The main characters of that film were a beautiful princess named Odette and a handsome prince named Derek.  In the current sequels, they're older, married, and have an adopted daughter, Princess Alise. 

She and her friend Lucas, a shy peasant boy living with his parents on a tulip farm, are the new focus of our attention as they have colorful adventures in and around their mythical kingdom.  Here, they go undercover as spies to find out if ditzy Queen Uberta's dashing young suitor, a Count from a nearby kingdom, is really as nice as he seems or if he has ulterior motives that could threaten the entire kingdom and its royal family.

Alise and Lucas are the typical spunky, likable kids who get in and out of trouble by their own wits and also with the help of their talking animal friends.  Their grown-up ally is a grandfatherly Lord Rogers, an inventor with a secret subterranean vault full of cool steampunk spy gadgets.  He's sort of a Hans Conried type with the look of a sage old gentleman but the heart of a child, and he secretly loves the Queen.

Aside from some shots of him, the kids, and their animal friends wearing shades and walking in slo-mo RESERVOIR DOGS style (to accentuate the "spy" theme), there are refreshingly few "nudge-nudge" modern references barring a rather spectacular nod to GOLDENEYE in the pre-titles sequence. 

Moreover, this film really is G-rated, with no smirky double-entendres or unwelcome sexual innuendos of the kind that crop up in much of the so-called "childrens" entertainment these days.  Everything remains resolutely juvenile throughout--in a good way.

Adults should find it more than tolerable, especially in the second half when the kids infiltrate the Count's castle and all that spy stuff starts to pay off in a big way.  Alise and Lucas encounter a number of bad guys and dangerous situations, and the action and suspense are pretty much nonstop.

At this point in the series, the songs (what few there are) aren't that special and there are no celebrity character voiceovers, but I doubt if kids will really mind all that much. 

Characters are genuinely warm and caring toward each other, and the story puts forth various benevolent themes of togetherness, teamwork, and charity (a neighboring kingdom damaged by a flood receives emergency aid) in unobtrusive ways. "Don't trust kindly strangers bearing chocolate" is another subtle message.

The DVD from Sony Pictures Home Entertainment is in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound in English and French, and Dolby Surround in Mandarin, Korean, Spanish, and Thai.  Subtitles are available.  In addition to several trailers for other Sony kids' films, there's a brief featurette with singer Macy Kate recording the end titles song.

Online comments from fans of the series indicate that some feel THE SWAN PRINCESS: ROYALLY UNDERCOVER is inferior to its predecessors.  But it's such a colorful and brightly entertaining diversion that, not having seen any of the earlier ones, I found this sequel quite enjoyable.

THE SWAN PRINCESS: ROYALLY UNDERCOVER -- DVD Review by Porfle

RAGS TO RICHES: THE COMPLETE SERIES -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 6/13/12

 

A weird conglomeration of teen period musical, teen family drama, teen family sitcom, adult dramedy, and all-around idiocy, NBC-TV's RAGS TO RICHES: THE COMPLETE SERIES (1987-88) comes to DVD in a five-disc, 20-episode set that's like a grueling marathon of sheer teen "WTF?"

Actually it isn't totally bad once you get used to it, but getting used to it is a pretty major undertaking.  What we have here is Joseph Bologna (MY FAVORITE YEAR) as frozen foods tycoon Nick Foley, a "streetwise" New Jersey-born playboy circa 1961 who wants to improve his public image by temporarily adopting six orphan girls aged 8-17.  Naturally, their initial culture clashes and personality conflicts will evolve into mutual love and understanding as the odd sextet become a family, with everyone learning and growing and all that good stuff.

The movie-length pilot (which, for some reason, is called "Rags and Riches" and looks like a crudely-edited workprint) gives us six downtrodden Annies in search of a Daddy Warbucks while the hateful old spinster in charge of them threatens to ship them all off to juvy hall.  After being adopted by Nick--on the advice of his young assistant, played by an embryonic, Gumby-haired Bill Maher--their rough adjustment to the lap of luxury is complicated when they discover that Nick and his loathesome fiance' have planned to ship the girls off to a strict boarding school ASAP. 

Choosing what they consider the lesser of two evils, they run back to the orphanage, whereupon Nick realizes how much he now loves them and can't live without them.  He goes to the orphange to fetch them home, thus setting the stage for seemingly endless adventures in adolescent angst which often escalates to nightmarish proportions.  (The sixth girl, Heather McAdam as "Nina", disappears from the cast after the pilot.)

While "Brady Bunch"-type comedy abounds along with several of its plotlines (in one episode, 13-year-old Patti's big science project is--you guessed it--a volcano), a big factor here is broad, relentlessly overplayed drama.  Particularly in the earlier episodes, these young actresses are so doggedly intense that their scenes resemble really bad drama class exercises, with future "Martin" co-star Tisha Campbell as Marva often being the most freakishly overwrought. 

Not only that, but their characters often come across as total spoiled bitches, constantly screaming their lungs out at Nick and each other before stomping offscreen and slamming doors.  A typical example:  "Blah blah blah!!!  I am not going to [whatever Nick has told her to do] and there's nothing you can do about it!!!"  STOMP STOMP STOMP!!!  SLAM!!! 

Even as late as episode 12 ("Wilderness Blues"), Nick's insistence that they go camping as a family leads to his being mercilessly harangued day and night, to such an extent that I wouldn't have blamed him for lobbing a live grenade into the girls' tent after lights-out.  Of course, strong-willed Marva runs away to be with her college-aged boyfriend the moment Nick turns his back, ranting and fuming the whole time, while Rose (Kimiko Gelman, THE HUNGER GAMES) and ditzy blonde Diane (Bridget Michele) sneak off to attend a dance at the lodge. 

Later episodes begin to show a promise that the series' second-season cancellation would cut short.  "Dear Diary" features Robin Curtis ("Lt. Saavik" in THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK) as an unconventional teacher whom conservative dad Dick Van Patten wants fired for being an unhealthy influence on her students.  "Born to Ride" guest-stars David Paymer (GET SHORTY) as a con man faking an injury to gain insurance money after supposedly being hit by novice driver Diane. 

The final episode, "Sweet Sixteen", ends the series on a high note as the Cuban Missile Crisis drives the Foley's into their newly-built bomb shelter and those of us old enough to remember get to relive what the whole atomic bomb scare was like, complete with elementary school kids participating in "duck and cover" drills.  The song-and-dance stuff is mercifully toned down in this one, and we get the idea that the show might have actually evolved into something pretty worthwhile if allowed to continue. 

High points aside, however, much of "Rags to Riches" is business-as-usual dumb stuff straight outta Bradyville but with loads of bratty attitude that Mike and Carol never had to contend with.  In "Business is Business", Marva buys her own lunch wagon against Nick's advice and then, when the endeavor goes south, immediately drives it to a secluded area and douses it with gasoline so she can torch it and collect the insurance!  (Fabian and Ken "Eddie Haskell" Osmond guest star as her unscrupulous competitors.) 

"Foley vs. Foley" is the old saw of the girls protesting the closing of lovable Spiro's (Jack Kruschen) hamburger joint to make way for the new Foley building complex.  "Hunk in the House" has Rose and Diane both falling for Nick's visiting godson, played by a young Richard Grieco.  "Marva in the Key of Cee" is the show's version of the Marcia Brady-Davy Jones affair, but with Marva promising to get retired torch singer Cee Cee Smith (Margaret Avery, THE COLOR PURPLE) to sing at the prom without actually asking her first.  "Partridge Family" alumnus Danny Bonaduce shows up in "Guess Who's Coming To Slumber?", the old story of the illicit party that gets horribly out of control while Nick is due to return from a trip at any minute.

"Vegas Rock" and "Once Upon a Lifeguard" play up the girls' sexuality in borderline inappropriate ways.  In the former, they secretly follow Nick to Las Vegas because, as usual, they do whatever they damn well please, and end up performing onstage in showgirl costumes.  In the latter, Patti's desire to impress a hunky older lifeguard has her sashaying around in skimpy bathing suits and stuffing her bra to Mae West proportions.  (Future porn actor Scott Schwartz of A CHRISTMAS STORY guest stars.)  While this is ostensibly meant to draw in potential teen male viewers, it sometimes comes off as a tad creepy. 

For better or worse, however, what really sets "Rags to Riches" apart from other shows of its ilk is the fact that it's a musical.  This means that the girls break into song and dance numbers at the drop of a plot twist, and more often than not they're blaring, sassy-brassy covers of 50s-60s tunes (their lyrics altered to fit the storylines, as when "Please Mr. Postman" becomes "Hey, Mr. Foley") with lots of head jerking, hand jiving, arm flailing, and generally obnoxious choreography that would embarrass even Paula Abdul.  Even the youngest sister Mickey (played by perhaps the best actress of the bunch, 8-year-old Heidi Zeigler) gets into the act with her saxophone, which we're supposed to believe she can play like a pint-sized Tom Scott. 

When this happens, the girls suddenly turn into hopped-up speed-freak versions of the Pointer Sisters for a couple of minutes before going back to what they were doing as though nothing had happened.  As if that weren't bad enough, Joseph Bologna and Douglas Seale (as their overly-cutesy British butler, Clapper) sometimes add their rusty pipes to the mix.  On the rare occasions that a slow ballad is required, the girls display some pretty nice singing voices, as when Patti (Blanca De Garr) and Rose duet on "Anyone Who Had A Heart."  Some of the songs are anachronistic ("You're No Good", "Get Ready") considering the show's early 60s time frame, but since the whole thing's a fantasy anyway I suppose it doesn't really matter.

The 5-disc set (running time 18 hrs. 20 min.) from Image Entertainment has an aspect ratio of 1.33.1 with Dolby Digital sound.  There are no subtitles or extras.

Much of RAGS TO RICHES: THE COMPLETE SERIES finds Joseph Bologna struggling to figure out just how the hell to play this kind of teen-oriented nonsense while his young female costars chew up the scenery like a school of ravenous singing and dancing piranha.  And just when they all seem to be on the verge of finding their way, the party's over.  While I can't wholeheartedly recommend it as actual entertainment, I must say that this bizarre patchwork creation is one of the most perversely interesting train wrecks I've seen in a long time.

RAGS TO RICHES: THE COMPLETE SERIES -- DVD Review by Porfle

JASON OF STAR COMMAND: THE COMPLETE SERIES -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

 (Originally posted on 11/17/09)

 

There's nothing like a show that's both stupid and cool at the same time to bring out the kid in me. That's the feeling I get watching this boxed set of the entire run of JASON OF STAR COMMAND, a live-action sci-fi series from Filmation that ran for two seasons on Saturday mornings starting in 1978. By that time, I had taken to sleeping in on Saturday mornings instead of jumping out of bed to watch TV. But now, through the magic of DVD, I can catch up on what I missed out on the first time around. 

Originally just one segment of a 90-minute show called "Tarzan and the Super 7", JASON began as a throwback to the old cliffhanger serials like "Flash Gordon" that used to get the kids flocking back to the theater week after week (with hefty doses of STAR WARS, "Star Trek", "Battlestar Galactica", and "Lost In Space" thrown into the mix as well). And like these old serialized adventures, each eleven-minute chapter has a sensational title such as "Attack of the Dragonship" or "Marooned in Time" and is open-ended, with Jason and his good-guy companions facing certain death at the hands of the evil Dragos (who has dubbed himself "Master of the Cosmos") to keep kids in the late 70s eagerly tuning in from one Saturday morning to the next. 

A spin-off of an earlier Filmation production called "Star Academy", and using many of the same sets, models, and costumes, this series centers around the adventures of a secret branch of the Star Academy, located on a city-sized spaceship built on an asteroid, whose job is to protect the galaxy from evildoers like Dragos. Their number-one guy is the brave, adventurous Jason (Craig Littler, who is currently the Gorton's fisherman), described as a "soldier of fortune" even though he isn't one (if he ever made any profit from any of these exploits, they must've been paying him under the table). He's really Han Solo Lite, right down to an almost identical set of threads and insoucient (though properly sanitized) attitude, and since Han is a soldier of fortune then, by golly, I guess Jason is, too. But he's also a true-blue, straight-arrow good guy type who feels right at home spouting lines like: "You overestimate yourself, Dragos. Never, on all the planets of the galaxy, has evil won out over decency and honesty--and freedom." Tell 'im, Jason! 

 The female lead in season one is the button-cute Susan O'Hanlon (PRIVATE PARTS, "All My Children") as Captain Nicole Davidoff, Star Command's leading computer expert. She was replaced in season two by Tamara Dobson (CLEOPATRA JONES) as a super-strong alien named Samantha. Charlie Dell (FIGHT CLUB) plays the brilliant but eccentric science officer, Professor E.J. Parsafoot, who shares comedy-relief duties with a couple of cute droids (of course) named Wiki and Peepo. Season one's "Commander Canarvin" is none other than the redoubtable James "Scotty" Doohan, who then left to do STAR TREK:THE MOTION PICTURE and was replaced in season two by well-known Western actor John Russell (PALE RIDER, THE OUTLAW JOSEY WALES) as the stern, blue-skinned Commander Stone. And along the way we see such familiar faces as Julie Newmar, Angelo Rossito, Francine York, and Rosanne Katon in guest roles.  

Dragos, the most rotten guy in the universe and sworn enemy of all that is decent, is portrayed by Sid Haig, best known these days as "Captain Spaulding" from Rob Zombie's HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES and THE DEVIL'S REJECTS. He wears a red and black outfit with black platform boots and a cape, and a silver headpiece that makes him look like he just placed dead last in a Borg costume contest. Haig is the Darth Vader of the series, revelling in his various dastardly schemes with eye-rolling delight and frequently letting loose with his trademark maniacal laugh ("MWAAAH- ha-ha-ha-ha-HAAAAAA!!!") 

Dragos has the ugliest spaceship in screen history, the dreaded Dragonship, which resembles a mechanical bulldog with a papier-mache' dragon head stuck on it, and his enslaved minions look like a bunch of diseased Wookies with really bad hair. Most of his schemes are along the lines of trying to disable Star Command's defense shields and sending it plunging into a sun or something. MWAAAH- ha-ha-ha-ha-HAAAAAA!!! 

The production values would be laughably bad by theatrical standards, but for a Saturday morning kids' series from the 70s they're impressive--cool, even. Much of it consists of STAR WARS-style visual effects done on the cheap, by some of the same technicians, with ingenuity compensating for lack of budget. The model work is good for the most part, and some of the planet sets rival those that Captain Kirk used to wander around in, as do the Star Command interiors. John Beuchler, who went on to make quite a name for himself as a creature-maker as well as a director, populated the series with a multitude of hastily-made but impressive monsters and aliens. 

My favorite aspect of the show, however, is the use of stop-motion animated monsters. I love this stuff, from the Willis O'Brien and Ray Harryhausen classics right down to the jerky dinosaurs from BEAST OF HOLLOW MOUNTAIN or TV's "Land of the Lost", and JASON features four or five stop-motion animated creatures with a lot of personality. Which, for me, raises the show's appeal to an even higher level. 

With the second season, the show was plucked from the "Tarzan and the Super 7" line-up and given its own half-hour time slot. While the episodes continue to form a loose overall story arc, individual plotlines are wrapped up in just two or three episodes. Dragos gets a brand new Dragonship, and, thank goodness, it's sorta cool and nowhere near as butt-ugly as the first one. He also gets a whole menagerie of beastly Beuchler-built cronies, and they all maniacally laugh their heads off just like Dragos--I think maybe it's catching. Tamara Dobson fits smoothly into the cast and seems to genuinely enjoy portraying the mysterious Samantha--she and Littler have a good chemistry together--while the fine actor John Russell's no-nonsense demeanor as Commander Stone, who strongly disapproves of Jason's cavalier attitude toward authority, gives the series a welcome and unexpected touch of gravitas. The only drawback is that as Jason and Stone gradually warm up to each other later on, Russell begins to smile more often, which is one of the scariest sights in television history. 

The three-disc set includes both seasons of the show and some nice extras. The highlight is a half-hour documentary called "The Adventures of Jason of Star Command", which features interviews with producer Lou Scheimer (sadly, his partner, Norm Prescott, as well as Tamara Dobson, are no longer with us), stars Craig Littler and Sid Haig, John Beuchler, and others involved with the production. It's packed with interesting anecdotes and information about the show. There's also a six-minute special effects demo reel, a photo gallery, episode scripts in PDF format, an episode guide/trivia booklet, and several trailers for other Filmation DVD sets that bring back a lot of Saturday morning memories. 

I accidentally found an Easter egg. Put in disc 2 and wait for the menu to appear. Hit "stop", then "play." Some leftover interview footage of guest star John Berwick that wasn't used in the documentary, lasting two or three minutes, should then appear. I tried this with the other two discs but no luck. If you should happen to find any more, let me know. And last but not least, three of the episodes contain lively commentary tracks with Scheimer, Littler, and Beuchler, among others. But careful, Mom and Dad--at one point, one of them gets so excited about viewing the old series again that he drops the "F" bomb! OOPS! 

 Scriptwriters include original "Star Trek" vets Samuel A. Peeples ("Where No Man Has Gone Before") and Margaret Armen ("The Paradise Syndrome"). The stories are fast-moving, simple, and often pretty dumb--in a bad-Roddenberry moment, Captain Kidd even pops up in one episode--but they're also a lot of fun, and not nearly as obnoxious as "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century" (with the despicable "Twiki") or the original "Battlestar Galactica" tended to be. 

Basically a live-action version of the kind of cartoons Filmation is known for (but without the crummy limited animation), JASON OF STAR COMMAND is corny, cheesy pulp sci-fi for kids, pure and simple, but it's done with such a goofy, unabashed earnestness and childlike sense of adventure that I couldn't help enjoying just about every minute of it. 

JASON OF STAR COMMAND: THE COMPLETE SERIES -- DVD Review by Porfle

"WIZARD OF OZ" Blooper: Dorothy's Ruby Slippers Disappear (MGM, 1939)

Glinda the Good Witch warns Dorothy to never remove her magic ruby slippers.

But in the scene with the talking apple trees, there's a brief moment in which Dorothy is wearing...her regular black shoes.

Don't let the Wicked Witch catch you without those ruby slippers, Dorothy!


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

"WIZARD OF OZ" Blooper: Dorothy's Ruby Slippers Disappear (MGM, 1939)

THE WIZARD OF OZ 3D: 75TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION (Blu-ray 3D/ Blu-ray/ Digital HD) -- Review by Porfle

 (Originally posted in 2013)

 

When I was a kid, the annual airing of the 1939 classic "The Wizard of Oz" on network primetime TV was almost as highly-anticipated a yearly tradition as Halloween or even Christmas.  Kids such as myself would scramble to get all their worldly affairs in order and move heaven and earth to make sure they were securely situated in front of a TV set, with no distractions, when that MGM lion roared and Oscar-winning composer Herb Stothart's familiar fanfare blared forth in all its glory.

Of course, we had to watch it right then and there because that was our only chance, and we knew it wouldn't come around for another year.  Now, however, you ungrateful young whippersnappers have the luxury of popping in Warner Brothers' snazzy new Blu-Ray 3D/ Blu-Ray/ Digital HD combo set THE WIZARD OF OZ 3D: 75TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION.   It even has a pulse-poundin' 3D cover pic and everything! 

But aside from how brand spanking new it looks and sounds in this latest Blu-Ray edition (which it does) or how cool it must look in 3D for you luckies who have 3D players (which I don't), the film itself is still the main prize.   Arguably the most beloved motion picture ever made, "The Wizard of Oz" set the Technicolor standard for opulent film musicals that has yet to be surpassed.  Some describe it as "the perfect movie"--indeed, it's practically beyond criticism no matter how many IMDb trolls snipe about how "boring" or "dated" they imagine any classic from the 1900s to be.  Few films are still this delightfully fresh and downright stunning almost 75 years after their initial release.  

The 16-year-old Judy Garland is extraordinarily endearing in her sincere, earnest  performance as Kansas farmgirl Dorothy Gale, who,  threatened by hateful neighbor Miss Gulch (Margaret Hamilton) to have her beloved dog Toto destroyed, runs away from the home where she lives with her Aunt Em and Uncle Henry.  After a kindly traveling fortune teller named Professor Marvel (Frank Morgan) persuades her to return home, she does so just in time to encounter a raging tornado that knocks her unconscious, sending her on a dream journey over the rainbow to the fairytale land of Oz.

Despite the many wonders she finds there, Dorothy's only wish is to get back home.  A good witch named Glinda (Billie Burke) advises her to follow the yellow brick road to the Emerald City,  where the wonderful Wizard of Oz may be able to help her.  Along  the way she makes friends with a scarecrow who wishes for a brain, a tin man who desires a heart, and a cowardly lion seeking the courage he lacks.  But before granting their wishes, the Wizard demands that they prove their worthiness by bringing him the broomstick of the dreaded Wicked Witch of the West, the most evil and fearsome creature in all of Oz.

The bleak and moody depictions of a flat gray Kansas landscape (its evocative, almost impressionistic interior sets are all dusty plains and miles of wire fences and telephone poles) immediately get "The Wizard of Oz" off to a heady start visually.  Dorothy gains our sympathy by being a typical teen who yearns to experience life but is all but ignored by the adults around her.  Her song, "Over the Rainbow", is both an amazing display of the youthful Judy Garland's mature vocal talent and an emotional highpoint for the film's misty-eyed fans.

Before we've even gotten out of Kansas comes one of the most thrilling special effects sequences of all time.   They made a whole movie filled with CGI tornadoes back in 1996 but not one of them could match the awe-inspiring sight of that one monstrous cyclone bearing down on Dorothy's tiny farmhouse as she scrambles for shelter.  Indeed, this segment of the film rivals 1933's "King Kong" as a breathtaking tour-de-force of sheer special-effects audacity.

After a dazzling switch-over from sepia to Technicolor, what follows in the "Oz" scenes is a succession of musical setpieces that are among the most whimsical and enchanting ever conceived for the screen.  Dorothy's encounter with the Munchkins (played by the Singer Midgets) is a delight, as are her encounters with the Scarecrow (rubber-limbed dancer Ray Bolger),  the Tin Woodsman (Jack Haley, Jr.), and the Cowardly Lion (Bert Lahr), and their joyous arrival in the Emerald City--all carried along by the infinitely memorable songs of Harold Arlen and E.Y. Harburg.

The visuals exude a richly atmospheric fairytale quality which, just like the illustrations in the original L. Frank Baum books, is inspired by the old European tales but with a distinctly American flavor.  (This is reflected also in Bert Lahr's very Brooklynesque lion with his amusingly lowbrow vaudevillian schtick.)  A combination of colorful painted backdrops, sumptuous matte paintings, and elaborate sets, the backdrops for Dorothy's adventures are always a feast for the eyes.

Nowhere is this more evident than in the climactic sequence in the foreboding mountaintop castle of the Wicked Witch of the West.  If "The Wizard of Oz" is a journey through Dorothy's subconscious mind, then this segment of the film must surely be, from a child's point of view, the most terrifying Freudian nightmare ever filmed. 

Captured by the Witch's bizarre army of  flying monkeys (another impressive practical effect), Dorothy's life is first measured by the sands of an hourglass ("See that?  That's how long you've got to be alive!  And it isn't long, my pretty--it isn't long!") and then by one of the most potent threats ever leveled in a children's film: "The last to go will see the first three go before her...and her mangy little dog, too!"  A considerable amount of suspense and excitement are generated in this sequence as Dorothy's three reluctant friends conquer their imagined inadequacies and attempt to rescue her.

Here, Margaret Hamilton plays her part to the hilt and is the quintessential wicked witch in one of the movie's two (at least) Oscar-level performances.  The other, of course, is that of Judy Garland,  who did receive an honorary Oscar that year for her body of work up to and including "The Wizard of Oz."  Judy is wonderfully natural and appealing in the role, and much more realistic than Shirley Temple, whom MGM originally wanted,  would have been.  It's easy for kids to identify with her because of this natural quality,  while Temple's more artificial cuteness appeals mainly to adults.

The Blu-ray 3D/ Blu-ray/ Digital HD combo from Warner Brothers is in 16x9 widescreen with 5.1 Dolby sound and original mono.  There's an entertaining and informative new documentary,  "The Making of the Wonderful Wizard of Oz", that lasts over an hour, plus original and re-release trailers, various radio programs (one is an adaptation of the film itself), extensive photo galleries, and a "jukebox" containing songs and musical cues including alternate and interrupted takes. 

Reappearing from the earlier 70th Anniversary Edition is a commentary track hosted by Sydney Pollack and featuring Oz historian John Fricke along with archival cast and crew comments, an animated storybook condensation of Baum's original book narrated by Angela Lansbury,  a brief biographical sketch of each of the leads (Toto, too!) entitled "We Haven't Really Met Properly",  a music and effects track, and a sing-along song menu.

Like "Star Wars", the later watershed film classic that it partially inspired, THE WIZARD OF OZ remains a marvel of thrilling special-effects wizardry and all-around cinematic creativity that no amount of CGI could ever surpass.  More importantly, though, it's one of the most engaging, heartfelt, and purely sentimental adventures to ever grace the silver screen.  With a simple beauty that still evokes tears of joy in its fans, this beloved classic demonstrates that not only is there "no place like home", but that in each of us lies wisdom, compassion,  and courage if we but look for it. 

THE WIZARD OF OZ 3D: 75TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION (Blu-ray 3D/ Blu-ray/ Digital HD) -- Review by Porfle