Movies love to fool us...
...into thinking we're seeing what we aren't really seeing.
In this scene, director Robert Aldrich uses the most basic trick imaginable in order to make us think detective Mike Hammer (Ralph Meeker) and his friend are waiting for an elevator.
When, in fact, there's no elevator there at all.
Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!
Originally posted on 7/19/15
A billion years from now, when they're talking about the worst of the worst made-for-TV movies of all time, VALENTINE MAGIC ON LOVE ISLAND (aka "Magic on Love Island") will still hold its own on the lips and in the hearts of junk film junkies of the far-flung future.
If they still have lips and hearts, that is. And even if they don't, this brain-warp of a movie will make them feel as though their lips are shriveling in disgust as their hearts break from sheer id-curdling incredulity.
A bizarre hybrid of "The Love Boat" and "Fantasy Island", from a time faraway back when people still flocked to watch those multi-segment, faded-star-packed chunks of 70s-schlock entertainment, this 1980 crapfest belatedly distills the worst of both and throws in the worst of just about everything else it can get its hands on for good measure.
Things get weirder when Bill and Bob end up stranded on the other side of the island by themselves, one immobilized by old injuries and the other blind as a bat without his glasses. Madge, who planned the whole thing to force the two men to work out their differences (and "grow") materializes from out of nowhere like Glinda the Good Witch and heals Bob's knee with a laying on of the hands. Ohhh-kay...
Much of the "humor" in this part of the movie comes from Dody trying to fix daughter Lisa up with anything in pants, which, unfortunately, includes Rick Hurst. This leads to Rick dressing in drag at one point in order to avoid Dody. Watching this scene is like seeing the entire concept of comedy suddenly take a huge dump. Later, Rick actually hits on Adrienne while he's in full "mom" makeup and muu-muu, and she accepts. Concept of reality now fully and horribly subverted, thank you very much.
Things hit rock bottom when Rick takes a comedy-relief break to bare his soul to Adrienne with one of those desperate "tears of a clown" speeches that's puppy-dog pathetic. ("You see, I was always the class clown...the bumbler, the fumbler...girls laughed at me...") More sensitive viewers may not survive this scene. If you do, you might actually make it to the end of the movie alive.
Originally posted on 4/8/12
Fans of L. Frank Baum's celebrated Oz series never know what they're going to get in the way of screen adaptations. They're either bright and whimsical with some deliciously dark touches (like the 1939 classic THE WIZARD OF OZ) or they play up the more bizarre and nightmarish aspects of the books (as in RETURN TO OZ). Or, in the case of THE WITCHES OF OZ (2011), you get a confusing mish-mash of both styles along with various other fantasy and comic book elements.
This rambling saga (originally televised in two parts) starts out with a LORD OF THE RINGS-style prologue which gives the impression that we're in for a more solemn, Hobbity type of myth-fantasy than the chintzy, cartoonish fairytale that follows. I think that may be what writer-director Leigh Scott was partially aiming for here, but aside from the scenes with Lance Henriksen as Uncle Henry and Jeffrey Combs as L. Frank Baum--two actors not known for their lighthearted frivolity--it's just too goofy to take that seriously.
Paulie Rojas' Dorothy is like an even more girly and saccharine version of Marlo Thomas' "That Girl" with traces of Didi Conn and Pee Wee Herman. Wide-eyed and wincingly naive, Dorothy moves from Kansas to New York at the request of gorgeous literary agent Billie Westbrook (Eliza Swenson, who also co-produced and, bless her heart, composed the music) in order to publish her "Oz" stories which were begun by her grandfather "Frank." But Billie turns out to be the Wicked Witch of the West, and Dorothy's Oz fantasies are really repressed memories of actual experiences that the witch wants to mine for information about a certain key to open a certain very powerful book of spells.
Much of the New York stuff is an awkward attempt to mix kid-friendly fantasy with real-world decadence, with references to "ass-kissing" and "sexing it up a little", terms such as "S.O.B.", and Dorothy being both leered at by a cabbie while changing clothes in the backseat and practically raped by a mugger. At times, the effect of this clash of sensibilities is not unlike sipping on a bourbon and Kool-Aid cocktail.
During the first hour or so, Dorothy orients herself to big-city life and acquires a love interest--LOTR's Billy Boyd as funny-Scottish flake "Nick Chopper"--while Billie and her cohorts scheme to get the key from her. With her flowing black hair, knockout bod, and what could only be described as a serious "legs" thing, Eliza Swenson owns the role and gives us an idea of what the '39 film might have been like if they'd gone ahead and cast Gale Sondergaard as the Witch instead of Margaret Hamilton (although Hamilton's likeness and acting style are closely imitated whenever Billie witches out). The now-MILFy Mia Sara of FERRIS BUELLER fame is a hoot as Billie's wickedly cute but not-too-smart toady Princess Langwidere, who collects heads to wear the way other women collect shoes.
The story is at its best when it maintains a consistent tone for awhile, such as in the extended Kansas sequence that comes about halfway. Here, we learn some interesting surprises about Dorothy's past as the film quits being tinny and insipid for awhile and comes closest to having an actual heart. There's a recreation of Dorothy's journey to Oz inside the cyclone which, aside from proving that the '39 film's effects are still better than crappy CGI, finally lets us see the Wicked Witch of the East get crushed by that house while she and a Valkyrie-like Glinda the Good Witch (Noel Thurman) are trading magical destructo beams like a couple of Marvel superheroines.
A lot happens during the chaotic final hour when the Wicked Witch unleashes her evil minions, including some Flying Gorillas and, oddly, Lewis Carroll's Jabberwock, in an all-out war on New York City. Some of it marginally cool, with the rest of the familiar Oz characters such as Scarecrow, Lion, and Tin Man losing their human fascades and regaining their true personas in order to engage the forces of evil in battle.
Much of it, however, is just frenetic, confusing, and, finally, long-winded--especially when Dorothy attempts to "Oprah Winfrey" the Wicked Witch into turning away from the dark side. Some of the more slapdash battle footage look
s like outtakes from a bad superhero flick like Shaqille O'Neal's STEEL, with the Tin Man resembling a cross between a robot and the original Iron Man. There's even some mild gore as one of Princess Langwidere's interchangable heads explodes and another gets run over by a truck, and one mano-a-mano encounter ends, strangely enough, with a beheading that recalls the knife-to-the-chest scene in SAVING PRIVATE RYAN!
Christopher Lloyd plays the Wizard like he's doing dinner theater for an easy-to-please audience, while Lance Henriksen's Uncle Henry comes across like an anvil on a trampoline. Top honors go to Swenson and Sara for their wickedly winsome witches, along with Sasha Jackson as one of Princess Langwidere's alter egos. Sean Astin and Ethan Embry earn a few laughs as the diminutive Muckadoos, ordered by Langwidere to bedevil Dorothy but more interested in raiding her refrigerator. Billy Boyd is at his "I'm Scottish!" cutest here--whether or not that's a good thing is up to you.
The DVD from Image Entertainment is in 1.78:1 widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound and subtitles in English and Spanish. Extras consist of a trailer and a trailer-length "behind the scenes" featurette.
While somewhat fun to watch if you can manage to settle into its goofball vibe, THE WITCHES OF OZ is "magical" in a curdled, insincere sort of way that makes it too distasteful for kids and too sickly-sweet for adults. Oz fans who have to watch everything Oz-related will probably have to watch this, but there's a snowball's chance in Hell of it making a dent in their undying affection for a certain Judy Garland vehicle.
Originally posted on 1/27/11
I thought this series was going to be hard to get into, but after only one episode I had settled comfortably into the magical world of BBC-TV's MERLIN: THE COMPLETE SECOND SEASON. For fans of the legend of Merlin, Arthur, and Camelot, all the familiar elements are here--they've just been taken apart and reassembled in very different ways.
This time, Merlin (Colin Morgan) is an awkward, callow young apprentice to the wizened old court physician, Gaius (Richard Wilson), who is like a father to the boy. Merlin was born with magical powers but must keep them secret since King Uther Pendragon (Anthony Head) has outlawed sorcery of any kind in Camelot. Only Gaius, a former sorcerer himself, knows Merlin's secret. Uther's ward, the beautiful Morgana (Katie McGrath), is also developing similar abilities which keep her in a constant state of anxiety.
Prince Arthur (Bradley James) shows the potential of becoming the wise king we know he'll someday be, yet remains arrogant and vain. As Arthur's personal servant and friend, Merlin tries to help him develop his better qualities while also secretly using his magic to protect the prince, and Camelot itself, from harm. The object of Arthur's affections is Morgana's trusted maid, the dusky-hued beauty Gwen (Angel Coulby), although we know, of course, that she will someday be smitten by dashing Lancelot. Or will she? In this version, you can never be sure.
"The Curse of Cornelius Sigan" gives us our first look at Merlin's power as he battles an evil sorcerer whose soul has inhabited the body of a weaselly con man named Cedric. This one features a full-scale attack on Camelot by some flying CGI gargoyles that are pretty well-done. (Overall, the show's digital effects aren't bad for a weekly series.) It also introduces us to the Great Dragon (voiced by John Hurt) who is chained in a vast cavern below the castle and from whom Merlin often seeks magical advice, with the promise of someday releasing the creature.
A bounty hunter hired by Uther's sworn enemy King Odin stalks Arthur in "The Once and Future Queen", which advances the story of Arthur's growing love for servant girl Gwen against the backdrop of a jousting tournament. "Lancelot and Guinevere", with Gwen being mistaken for Morgana and held for ransom, brings future knight Lancelot into the mix and begins the ill-fated love triangle that will someday bring ruin to Camelot. (Maybe...) In "The Nightmare Begins", Morgana discovers her true nature and flees to a Druid village for some sympathetic advice. Here, we meet the child Mordred.
One of my favorite episodes is the two-parter "Beauty and the Beast." Sarah Parish guest-stars as a hideous troll who uses a magic potion to impersonate a noblewoman and bewitch King Uther into marrying her. Parish wears some highly effective makeup and a body suit which transform her into one of the most revolting creatures ever--she makes Jimmy Durante look like Jayne Mansfield--and her unrestrained performance in both guises is outstanding.
It's also fun when she drops the "ladylike" act in private and reverts to her usual trollish behavior while still looking like Lady Catrina. This is probably the season's most overt dive into broad comedy, especially when the blinded-by-love Uther gets romantic with his nightmarish, flatulent bride. You may need to keep a barf bag handy for this one.
Charles Dance gives a gleefully sinister portrayal of "The Witchfinder", hired by Uther to sniff out sorcery in Camelot by any means necessary. His efforts result in Gaius being sentenced to burn at the stake. In "The Sins of the Father" we meet the beautiful and mysterious sorceress Morgause, who turns Arthur against his father. This episode builds to one of the more intensely dramatic endings of the season.
"Lady of the Lake" gives Merlin a chance to fall in love when he helps a lovely sorceress escape from a ruthless bounty hunter, only to find that she hides a deadly secret. "Sweet Dreams", another comedic story, finds Arthur and a rival king's insufferable daughter bewitched into falling madly in love during a royal peace summit.
The final three episodes in the set--"The Witch's Quickening", "The Fires of Idirsholas", and "The Last Dragonlord"--are full of exciting surprises as the season builds to its finale. Morgana's story takes some drastic turns with the return of Morgause and Mordred, while Camelot itself comes under attack from supernatural forces that threaten to destroy it. A major revelation for Merlin comes shortly before he and the Great Dragon face off as enemies at last, in a season ender which, thankfully, doesn't completely leave us hanging.
While at times poking a bit of fun at itself with a few deliberate anachronisms in speech and behavior, MERLIN's indulgences in lighthearted comedy have none of the hokiness of a show like "Xena" or "Hercules." The more realistic tone allows the writers to include frequent moments of high drama that elevate the show above the norm. Several episodes are surprisingly moving, while others simmer with intrigue. Action-wise, the stories are filled with swordfights, monsters, and colorful villains.
The production values are lavish, with elaborate set design and costumes and scenic locations (including an actual 14th-century castle in Paris) contributing to the overall atmosphere. Each episode is enhanced by a stirring musical score fit for a big-budget fantasy epic. The lead actors are engaging, particularly Colin Morgan as Merlin and Richard Wilson (HOW TO GET AHEAD IN ADVERTISING) as Gaius.
The 5-disc DVD set from BBC-Warner is in 16:9 with Dolby Digital sound and English subtitles. Disc #5 contains the special features, which include the 34-minute featurette "The Making of Merlin", a cast and crew introduction to season two, a photo gallery, and desktop wallpapers. The set also includes cast and crew commentaries for selected episodes, plus cool animated menus.
The highlight of the special features disc is the BBC series "Merlin: Secrets and Magic" consisting of 14-minute segments covering each episode in detail. My favorite is the one showing Sarah Parish's amazing makeup transformation into the hideous troll from "Beauty and the Beast."
With a fine cast of characters and a vibrantly healthy sense of wonder, MERLIN: THE COMPLETE SECOND SEASON is total fantasy fun all the way. It may play fast and loose with the legend, but it's nice wondering what's going to happen next instead of just waiting for all the familiar pieces to click neatly into place.
Originally posted on 10/29/08
Mixing a dash of truth with heaping helpings of fiction, the UK-Australian film DEATH DEFYING ACTS: HOUDINI'S SECRET (2008) finds legendary escapologist Harry Houdini in Edinburgh, Scotland during his final 1926 European tour (truth), where he meets and falls in love with a beautiful con woman named Mary McGarvie who claims she can help him contact the spirit of his dear, departed mother (fiction). The result is a handsomely-mounted romantic fantasy with an intriguing "what if?" premise and some interesting performances.
Mary and her young tomboyish daughter, Benji, live in an impossibly cozy shack in a cemetery and earn a living performing in a local music hall as "the tantalizing Princess Kali and her dusky disciple." This gives Catherine Zeta-Jones a chance to look fabulous in a skimpy harem costume while she and a brown-faced Benji wow the rubes with their fake psychic act. When Houdini triumphantly enters the city to an ecstatic reception, his standing offer of $10,000 to anyone who can prove their psychic veracity by reciting his mother's dying words to him is an irresistible opportunity for the mother-daughter team.
They set about trying to dig up personal information on Houdini to aid in their deception, and in the process Harry and Mary begin to fall for each other. This unusual romance, and how it effects both a jealous Benji and Harry's doting manager-slash-keeper Mr. Sugarman (Timothy Spall), keeps the story moving until the moment of truth in which Mary is expected to wield her psychic powers before an expectant Houdini and a horde of eager reporters.
Guy Pearce plays Houdini as a gruff but friendly egotist with an imposing personality and boundless energy. The usually rail-thin Pearce comes as a shock in his first shirtless scene--with his new muscular frame he hardly looks like the same person we saw in L.A. CONFIDENTIAL, MEMENTO, or THE TIME MACHINE. Catherine Zeta-Jones is a more restrained presence, but her Mary is just as strong-willed as Houdini and rejects his amorous advances until she's sure he regards her as more than a casual fling. As it turns out, Harry's interest in her is based in large part on her uncanny resemblance to his mother, which gives the story an added element of--well, weirdness.
The most interesting performance comes from 14-year-old Saoirse Ronan as Benji. She's a remarkably skilled, thoughtful actress who pretty much steals every scene she's in while doing so in a subtle and natural manner. Her Benji narrates the film, which we see mainly from her viewpoint and experience through her character. Much of the story's emotional resonance comes from the conflict between her devotion to her mother and her hero-worship of Houdini, who is, after all, the object of their deceptive scheme.
Director Gillian Armstrong (MY BRILLIANT CAREER, LITTLE WOMEN) handles the action well and gives the film a hazy, golden-hued, nostalgic look. Lush period detail fills the frame in every scene. The main titles display Armstrong's sometimes quirky visual sense--we see a strait-jacketed Pearce enter the water from below the surface and then drift into closeup, where he floats motionless and calmly holds his breath in one long, unbroken take until the credits are done. It looks like a SPFX shot but it isn't, and Pearce's breath control is the result of training with a professional.
We don't see much of Houdini's performance magic after that, although his famous water torture escape is very nicely duplicated early on. Armstrong imaginatively uses this device as a means for mystical floating visions to appear to whoever is inside it. Houdini sees a ghostly image of his mother, complete with pennies over her eyes; Benji, after accidentally falling in, sees a red-haired angelic harbinger of Houdini's death.
For me, the highlight is the sequence in which Mary is expected to channel the spirit of Houdini's mother before the assembled press and reveal her last words to him. It doesn't go off as expected, and there's a startling twist in which the boundary between fakery and actual spiritualism is apparently blurred. Surprisingly, it's Saoirse Ronan's performance in this scene which is the most impressive.
The widescreen picture and sound are good. The commentary track is just the kind I like--both continuous and well-balanced between being scene-specific and generally informative. It's also amusing the way director Armstrong keeps up a constant monologue while producer Marian Macgowan, who has a better memory for details, inserts various names and other factual data almost seamlessly into the pauses. Additional features consist of a "making-of" featurette and a trailer. There are no deleted scenes because, as Armstrong tells us, the script by Tony Grisoni and Brian Ward was so tight that it didn't require any trimming after it was filmed.
Not quite a remarkable film, DEATH DEFYING ACTS: HOUDINI'S SECRET is still an involving and visually satisfying historical fiction that benefits from its lead performances, imaginative story, and fine period setting. The rather peculiar romance between Harry and Mary is far more intriguing and adult than the usual Harlequin nonsense, while the mystical elements give it a nice dark tone and are left tantalizingly unresolved.