Sometimes High Powered Cameras Are A Bad Thing

A chick (?!?) at Bonnaroo. Feel free to caption her since the Housewife hags are not inspiring me these days.

Now. Can you handle the super close-up?

Ah, yes. You know you're jealous. I knew who Anonymous was before you all did!

Bonnaroo: A Misery and Aren't Festival

Me under the famous fountain, with A MISTER, I might add.

This was my fourth trip to the outdoor music and arts festival. I am 46 years years old and never had a problem with the relentless heat and moisture before, so all you pansy asses at Gawker can kiss my ass for all your boo-hooing over being too old and cool for it at age 25. Age was not the problem. The people that died were 24 and 32. Not old by any means. The real problem is much bigger than that, inklings of which I saw from the very first moment we got to Manchester, Tennessee.

Dread-ication

I am not a fan of dreadlocks. They are super skeevy and ugly as hell. Flies are probably laying eggs on that dude's head as we speak and I bet they reek of ganga and curry. Blech.
So, I thought this guy's were out of control-HA!
Wtfholyshitspankmeandcallmemary!!! How does he not drive over those things? Is he just a big Cousin Itt fan or is he purposely trying not to get laid? In that case, success!

Favorite Bonnaroo Graffitti

I put Michael on top for obvious reasons.

Why Can't I Get A Good Picture of Snoop?

Because the minute he came out on stage everyone lit up.

Bubbles At Bonnaroo and Farrah's Gravity Defying Nipples

Palate cleanse.

Crack Is Whack, Bonnaroo Style

As are butt flaps.
I'm all for nudity, but when you are smashed in with over 70,000 people for four days you really don't need this in your face or rubbing on you in a crowded tent. That said, I still took pictures so I'm an asshole for subjecting all of you to it as well.
Especially enjoy the ass crack/back hair combo in the first pic.

Missing Manchester Tennessee

It is 25 degrees here in Cleveland and I am trying to channel the heat of Bonnaroo last June. We were sweating our asses off and the only thing that made it bearable was the copious amounts of beer and wine we consumed. If you haven't gotten your tickets for next year, do it now! We got the early $200 ones and they were gone within a few days. Hopefully there won't be any Kanye style fiasco this year. And for any newbies out there, it is the only time it is okay to wear Crocs. God will forgive you since you have to walk miles through dust and mud and spray your feet down every half hour.

And no, that is not your imagination. That purple guy in the photo above made his outfit out of Crown Royal bags. Love at first sight. We haven't set a date yet for the nuptuals, but I guarantee it will be whiskeylicious.

Finally free

I apologize for not blogging lately but something that had to be done in my personal life was finally done. Phew. What a releif. Now, back to business.

Quote of the Day

History is moving, and it will tend toward hope, or tend toward tragedy.

-George W. Bush