PofW Music Video

Hello, fellow goobers. I am a wee bit burnt out from all the recap catch-up lately, so here's a charming video to watch. It will make you thankful for who you are, what you look like and how many brain cells you have, kind of like watching the Housewives.

Caption The Housewife, Who Is Better Upholstered? Edition

Nice bridesmaid shoes, you two.

Mullet On A Plane

This was a pretty epic mullet. It was curly, the chick was burly and it hung halfway down her back. She looked a bit like Marge the truck driver and I did not have the nerve to take a picture when she got up. She was built like Terry Bradshaw, yikes!

Pretty Hurts

Logo has a new reality show that chronicles the life and times of a dude with a needle fetish. Not for the squeamish, trust me. Featured in the first episode are Jeana and Kara, both of whom act like they're real pros at injectibles.

Gay Video & Lesbian Movies - Logo: Fierce TV

Gay Video & Lesbian Movies - Logo: Fierce TV

Series starts Saturday May 7th at 8p.m. EST. 

Thanks for the head's up, True Life Diva!

Mississippi Tornado Insanity

I haven't said anything about it because I like to keep it light around here, but I feel so terribly for all the people affected by tornadoes this Spring, especially the one that hit Alabama and 4 other states. Over 300 people died! The only good thing to come out of the situation is the amazing footage that chasers risk their lives to capture. 


So, go see Tornado Alley and help support the crazy people that do this so we don't have to.

Caption The Housewife, Face Off Edition

Okay, this photo is making the rounds this morning and I'll give credit where credit is due. I saw it on Naked Fan Mail first, but anyway, HOLY HELL. What did The Zarinmonster do to her face?The nostrils are smaller, she has beady rat eyes and trouble smiling properly. Girl got the works done, for what? Does she think she looks better like this? She doesn't even look like herself. 

I really thought the New York gals were above this sort of thing. What was I thinking?

Update: Here's Leather lying for her only friend in the whole wide world. MORON

Caption The Housewife, Murder By Decor Edition

I like to refer to it as the Disco Howard Johnsons of apartments. Your turn.

But I'm sure that I'm just being jillous.

Caption The Housewife, I Scream Edition

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Jockeying For Position

Like in any good horse race, the fillies of Orange County are sizing each other up and trying to maintain whatever position they have while keeping from falling on their faces and having to be shot. It is not pretty. Actually, it's downright UGLY, just like Tamra's wedding dress, and with boxes just as hideous, I presume.

Let's head out to the track and try not to fall asleep on our mares!

Outrageous Kid's Parties!

First of all, TLC needs to change the name of their network or stop showing pure unadulterated trash like this! A $12,000 party for your hillbilly trash kid? What the? Save that money and get this kid some braces and an elocution coach. 


Second of all, who in the fuck names their kid 'Aniston?'  Angelina Jolie haters, I presume? I wish I hadn't seen this. It makes me stabby. 

By the way, that girl is retarded. I've got ten year old shoes with more brains.
Here's the link if the video wasn't working- here

Caption The Housewife, 'Til Foreclosure Do Us Part Edition

Those gloves! God help me.

Caption The Housewife, Two Hags Half In The Bag Edition

I really hate Nene's nose job. It looks like she's pinching it or the nostrils are collapsed from breathing in really hard. WEIRD.

West Virginia's Funniest Home Videos

I am embarrassed to admit that a lot of these people are from Ohio. The sad truth is that half the single mothers south of I-80 work at Walmart and still need a WIC card to get by. I hate this place. HATE.

Ad and Stretch Scare The Kiddies

This is what they wore for Halloween. How on earth did I miss this? Looks like I'm going to have to pull a Zarin and set up some Google alerts. Yikes!

And as far as I'm concerned, dressing up like a sexy pirate, or cop, or sanitation engineer, what have you, is only okay if you are a guy. Don't they look like drag queens, anyway? On second thought, no. Drag queens have better skill with the make-up box.

And look, a bonus!

It's the rootin' tootin' Texas cowgeek! He's drinkin' manly beer and everthing!

Recurring Nightmares

A few weeks ago we did the ghost story thread and it was a huge success. I was trying to think of another topic to discuss, something in the same vein as the paranormal. A little birdie named PC whispered into my ear and together we hatched a plan. I seem to remember that quite a few of you, in addition to myself, had some pretty scary dream related ghost stories. How about we share some of those in addition to any recurring nightmares you might have, or freaky phenomena in general. I'll get us started.


This story includes my old New York roommate Billy, just like one of my ghost stories did. We were on our fourth week of searching for a two bedroom apartment and having absolutely zero luck. Everything was either too expensive, too small, in a shitty neighborhood or in one of those charming buildings that you revisit without the realtor and discover that it's full of whackadoodles and filth.


We were getting so fed up and stopped at one of those little tables on the Bowery that had all kinds of junky little doodads on display, like old war medals and watches. I zeroed in on a particular timepiece and an icy hand grabbed my spine. Just that very morning, I told Billy that I had had a dream of a watch similar to his, only in Russian with the words Boktok on the face. At breakfast, I grabbed his wrist and looked at his watch, and while they were similar, the word on his watch face was nothing like the one in my dream, nor were the numerals. Sure enough, that exact watch was laying on the soiled cloth in front of me. Spooked me for days, but the entire event had zero affect on my life. We found the shitty dark haunted apartment a couple of weeks later, and moved in. 


I think that random things can happen and looking for meaning in them can lead nowhere, or.......is there a separate dimension? Maybe I caught myself in a tiny crack while I was sleeping. What about you? Have you ever had a similar experience and did it have more resonance in your life? Or do you have a particularly frightening recurring nightmare to tell everyone? 


Feel free to share and be as long winded as you like in the comments. This is the kind of stuff I LOVE.

A Super Fast Super Cell Storm

I love a good storm but this is just ridiculous.

Maru Super Slow-Mo

My eyes, my eyes! He's eating my soul with his eyes!

Epic Wigga Trash fest

"Tickets available at Hot Topic," kinda says it all, doesn't it?

And if you don't get sexually harassed every fifteen seconds while you're there, yer not doin' it right. I can't wait to post the inevitable pictures of toothless pregnant women with their titties painted and a Maverick menthol hanging from their herpes sored lips. Wooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

Is This A Joke?

Please tell me that this is a joke. A woman in iowa is getting prosecuted for admitting to paramedics that she CONSIDERED abortion. Those prosecutors should be aborted, because that is completely insane.
Link:

http://digitaljournal.com/article/287684#tab=comments&sc=0&contribute=&local=

If They Wanted To Make The Point That Hockey Players Are Ugly

A simple picture of Ovechkin would have done quite nicely.