Trying To Make The Winter Fly By

Ah, yes. Winter in Northeast Ohio. It lasts so long and is so dreary that people in their 30s fly south for those awful months like so many bloated Goldfinches. Me, I choose to stay here. I like a little dark with my light, a little salt with my sweet and a little depression with my joy. I still try to combat the blues, though, mostly by getting off my ass and doing things and going places, like Pittsburgh.


Pittsburgh, you say? How in Saint Morgan Fairchild Hell is that getting away from it all? 


Well, let me start with our charming hotel. It's called The Priory and it's a beautiful, restored Parsonage attached to a small sanctuary that wealthy Pennsylvanians book for wedding receptions and the like. I think it would be great for a Halloween party. (I hate weddings. They just seem like a giant exercise in Bride's magazine show-offery and coupledom mutual masturbation, BLECH)

The hotel's ceilings are high, the lighting fixtures are ancient and the atmosphere is one of naughty gaiety. We arrived Saturday night to a crush of revelers in the lobby enjoying a beer or ten before heading off to the wedding reception to listen to slurred speeches full of forced hilarity and watch Auntie dance with her favorite 'nephew.'


We steered clear of that mess and strolled down the hall to our room. There were all manner of lovely artifacts placed here and there and it took all my powers of self control not to steal this hat box that was just sitting on an antique table.

Alas, my backpack was too small. (makes mental note to hit Gander Mountain on the way home)


Get a load of this lovely mini-priory! I can just picture some pious, but perpetually bored man of the cloth wiling away the hours with some brandy and glue.

Okay, maybe not so mini, since it was four feet tall, and not so gluey since I spy a clamp. What are you going to do? Brandy doesn't make a monk so handy. Handsy, yes.


This is the bar. Surprisingly enough, we spent no time there. The Bota beckoned (or was it Cardinal Zin?) and I was still a bit nauseous from my new glasses. I hate them. Lasik, here I come. 

Yes, that is an old bank safe acting as the bar storage. Somebody doesn't trust their employees....
Or the guests. Hmm.


The next day we attended the Penguins' hockey game where the boys in Black & Gold prevailed over the Capitals and their much diminished prowess, and then we headed back across the 9th Street Bridge when we were overtaken by a tall ginger with giant mittens. I called him Hellboy O'Brien. Hubby trumped me by calling him Hillboy O'Brien. Teehee, inbred jokes.

As much as I love Pittsburgh, I have to admit that it does give off that not-so-faint whiff of third generation first-cousin marriages, which is where we come full circle, or should I say 'circular.'

Which is what passes for curtains 'round here.


What, no comics? Those are so much classier.

Penguin Tickling

I could think of a few Penguins I'd like to tickle, only they don't have wings and probably don't squeal like a girl. Probably.

Penguins Skating Into The Locker Room After The Win

It's pretty loud but I have to give Mr. McSlore so much credit for doing this for me. He got everybody. The entire day was awesome, even me getting lost downtown. Totally worth it!

The Ballad of Kris Letang

As you all know, i have a soft spot for hockey, and hockey players in particular. I also have a huge soft spot for the Penguins' Kris Letang, not least because he looks a bit like Mr. McSlore. Little nose, pretty lips, soft hazel eyes, will break your bones if you let him. 

Let's look at some eye candy, mkay?

For Coleen

I keed, I keed!!
Ha ha, your present is after the jump.

Stanley Cup Guy At Bonnaroo

Three things that I love came together in Manchester, Tennessee. The Penguins and Bonnaroo, and sports fanatics that will do anything for their team.
He probably stayed awake all night scrounging up aluminum foil and cardboard to make the thing so, I salute you, Real Man of Genius: Mr. Makeshift Stanley Cup at Bonnaroo Guy.

Hossa Photoshops

For those of you that don't follow hockey, Marian Hossa left the Penguins last here to join the Red Wings because he felt that the Pens didn't stand a chance. Well, we all know how that turned out, the Penguins won game 7 in dramatic fashion and brought The Stanley Cup back to Pittsburgh.

The Pensblog has been receiving Hossa photoshops for a while now but waited until Saturday to put them up and they're pretty funny. I especially like the Geico one, above.

Here's the link:

http://www.thepensblog.bloguin.com/pensblog/june-2009/hossa-photoshops.html#JOSC_TOP

Pure Joy

I am sending this picture out to my friend Mandrake who is not feeling so well right now. You know that I love you. And I know that you can ride out the storm. Big kiss.

The Pens won on Tuesday and just look at the crowd's reaction to Talbot's goal. I love the two little kids on the upper left with their little "holy crap!" expressions and the blow-up doll face on the chick at the far right. There is nothing like an arena full of thousands of screaming fans.

Pens Have A Date With Lord Stanley

The Penguins beat the Hurricanes 4-1 inn game four and are headed to their second straight appearance in the Stanley Cup finals. I'm spent. Let's go Pens!

Who Needs Sean Avery?

Seriously, when you've got a pest like Steve Ott you don't even miss him. In Dallas's 4-2 win over Edmonton last night there was a lot of action. The goalie Dwayne Roloson got a good hit on Ott after he slammed Gilbert into the boards and you gotta love that. Plenty of fighting ensued followed by an avalanche of penalties.
And the Pens beat the Kovalev-less Habs 5-4 in regulation. So yeah, it was a good night to be watching hockey.

File This Under: Holy Crap!

For you fellow hockey and Pens fans, guess who got fired late last night? That's right, coach Therrien. The team has been sucking ass even though we have points leaders and a stellar goalie. The owners and management must have figured that coaching was the problem and Wilkes Barre coach Dan Bylsma takes the interim position. The team is said to be stunned, as am I. I would have thought that they would have done this earlier, not when there are so few games left until the playoffs (which we may not even make) and this decision throws the team off balance when stability and confidence are at a premium. The Pens went to the Stanley Cup last year and now what? I hope this works out for the best but Bylsma just lost his first game as coach in a shoot-out. We will see.

Here is the link to the story on the Tribune website:

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/sports/penguins/s_611903.html?source=rss&feed=8

It's Do Or Die Time

Malkin pulled an overtime goal out of his ass last night, and not a moment too soon. We are down to the wire here and need to start winning, and not just against shitty teams like Tampa Bay. The playoffs were stellar last year and I'm gonna be pissed if I'm not wearing my Satan jersey in bars this spring. I want to be able to annoy non-hockey fans who have no clue who he is and just assume that I'm some kind of devil worshipping Pens fan. Hell, whatever it takes, everybody thinks the Steelers made a deal with the devil (refs) anyway.

Thanks to the Pensblog for the image.

Fleury in a Steelers Helmet

The Penguins beat the Rangers in a shutout 3-0 today, and to show his support for that other Pittsburgh team, goalie Marc-Andre Fleury donned a Steelers helmet and waved a Terrible Towel around the ice after the win. Bring us luck, supa-stahh!!

Sidney Crosby is Frustrated

You would be too if your team had key injuries and a line that keeps changing and you can't win to save your life despite having the top two players in the league in individual points. You do the only thing you can. You beat the crap out of somebody.

Sports Quickies

Do the Pens have to score all their points in one game? The last time they scored this many goals was 2001 but they managed to beat the Islanders 9-2. Petr Sykora finally gets that hat trick he's been waiting his whole life for, Dupuis gets one too, Bears beat the Saints 27-24, the Celtics are 21-2, and terrell Owens is a paranoid little bitch who thinks that Tony Romo is out to get him. That dude has more estrogen than I do.

Santa Babies

Your daily cuteness!

Hits of the Week

Pittsburgh is in there 3 times and the number one hit by Brooks Orpik is unbeleivably not fatal. Spezza just gets right up and smiles. I think he was still woozy or maybe INSANE. He did score a hat trick that night. I hate their jerseys, though. They are all kinds of super ugly and not creative at all, like someone designed them using graphics software from the nineties.

Coming Along Swimmingly

Here is the latest picture off of the construction cam of the new igloo in Pittsburgh. It will hold 18,087. Do you think that's an accident? 18 thousand and 87??!!

More Sid the Kid, This Time for a Reason

He got his first at-home hat trick in the Pens 4-1 win over the Devils last night.

And Malkin's skates are sick.

Sidney Crosby Shirtless

Why? Because it's my blog, that's why.