The Real Housewives of Disney

Starring Lindsay Loham!


Don't call it a comeback......no, seriously. DON'T. The rest of the show was unwatchable. Plus, The Zarinmonster was there. Nuff said.

Real Housewives of late Night: Super Bowl Edition

Oh, how I've missed this. It's better than the real thing!

TGIF With A Real Housewives of Boston Christmas

Ho, Ho, Hos

I don't post very often anymore about the Housewives of Wherever, or as I like to call these shows, Day of the Locusts Part II, but I saw this photo and just had to put it up.

What is that body language between Lisa and Kyle about? Lisa looks like she thinks Kyle's hideousness might rub off on her. Her face is a mask of barely concealed disgust! Oh, those rich Brits. When they aren't being bawdy and facetious, they seem to be sitting on piles of repressed feelings. What do you think? Is this the end of the line for this friendship, and what in Paris Hell is Kyle wearing? Her niece's hand me downs, or is it Taylor's skin?

The Hunger Games Trailer

It looks good, and guaranteed to be upsetting. Only one comes out alive. Can we throw Taylor in there too?

The Real Housewives of South Boston

Since Bravo has jumped the shark with every single branch if the franchise, we might as well get some laughs out of the parodies. Here's the Southie version-

Therapy With Kennedy

She can pretend Daddy is still alive and that all those clay people are Mommy Stretch, and Mommy's many personalities. Bulimic Mommy, Drunk Mommy, Oklahoma-On-Your-Ass Mommy, Grifter Mommy. Why, the list goes on and on!

Russell Armstrong, Why?

Yesterday, I asked what to do with Ashley Holmes. Today, I am asking the same question about The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Stretch Armstrong. When someone kills themselves like Russell did, should the show go on? I remember almost exactly 2 years ago, I was recapping Megan Wants A Millionaire when one of the contestants killed his wife and then offed himself when the manhunt got to close to him in Canada. Should Bravo do what VH1 did and cancel the show? Should they cut most of Stretch's scenes down? I don't know how they could, she's always at the center of drama. What do you guys think? 

Oh, and a very heartfelt and huge amount of sympathy goes out to that little girl with the unfortunate name, Kennedy. that poor child always seemed happiest with her Dad. How unimaginably awful that she will grow up with the knowledge that her Father would rather die than face the mess of his life, and that her mother would drive him to it by airing every last bit of his dirty laundry in an effort to exonerate herself. Stretch is an AWFUL person. That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

What To Do With A Problem Like Trashley?

Mr. McSlore is off at some work seminar training thingymawhatever, so I actually watched The Real Knuckleheads of New Jersey on the day it aired for a change. I never watch it when he's around. NEVER. My husband has a very low threshold for nose jobs and sequins. Go figure.

The Laurita-Holmses held a life coach intervention of sorts for the most ineffectual daughter ever, Trashley. Nothing got resolved, the loser child has no plans other than some vague desire to move to L.A. so she can learn how to apply her own make-up just in case she gets a job modeling empty barrels or burlap flour sacks IF she's lucky in this economy. The girl is just dying for Natural Selection to take her out. Can you imagine how she would make out if Mom and unloved love-buying Step-Daddy Chris put her ass out of their mansion? Where would she sleep, Miss Andy's couch?

Cut the purse strings for good, Jackie. Make like a real parent and JUST DO IT. At this rate you'll be 90 and shelling out for her Depends.

What would YOU do if you were the parent to such a nightmare child? It can't be any worse than what Jackie is doing, Lord knows!

Caption The Housewife, Bleary Eyed and Cross Eyed On The Red Carpet Edition

Monsters In Cartoon Form

Still pretty awful, right?


Thanks, Jersey Chick!

Caption The Housewife, Thank You Jesus For Relaxers Edition

New York Didn't Jump The Shark, It Ran It Over And Then Used It For Whale Chum

What a mess this show has become. What started out as goofy and interesting has devolved into a morass so despicable it is virtually impossible to watch without getting a severe headache. How can women, smart women, allow themselves to be filmed showing what I can only hope are the lowest depths of their character. I am so glad I got super busy and stopped recapping this tragedy when I did. Sickening, just sickening.

Here's a great article from the Huffington Post. Just ignore the Jill love and the Lynn hate. Everything else is perfectly accurate.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/26/real-housewives-of-new-york-reunion-hate-video_n_909547.html?ref=tw

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Season 2 Trailer

Oh dear God, it's going to be BAD, by which I mean good. Mark your calendars for September 5th, 9 p.m.
This new girl looks like a bigger cunt than Cameel, no?

C'est Wrong, C'est Wrong!

Someone stop her before she sings(?!?) again! Dude, you are NOT RuPaul! Get over it.

Caption The Housewife, Nurse Cuntass Edition

Holy Plain Jane! Oh, and thanks for ruining the show for me, along with your brownterage of Sidney, Leather and Shill. I don't even want to call them brunettes. It feels like an insult to my russet tressed friends. The word brown just seems more appropriate, don't you think?

Caption The Housewife, Finally Walking Upright Edition

All I'm going to say is, girl looks SO much better from the side.

Caption The Housewife, Moving On Edition

He's moving on, all right. Moving on from trailer trash to normal, which is a huge improvement, if you ask me. I think the whole situation with Tammy Sue Bob has aged him, which is too bad. But at least he doesn't wake up next to old Tits for Brains anymore. I bet this girl even makes her own coffee!

Real housewives of New York City Recap: Hugs to Thugs

So, THAT'S who the thug in the cocktail dress is! I had a feeling it was LuLu, with all her aggressive behaviour towards Ramona. We have talked about how she stands over the poor woman trying to intimidate with her much larger size and glamazon height. Well, this week it got even worse! I think she's still pissed about what Mario said in the Hamptons last year, the whole 'countless' remark that drove her nutty with righteous indignation. I am pretty righteously indignant myself, just for different reasons.

Stop trying to make Ramona look like an alcoholic!

Caption The Housewife, Freak! Edition

Blonde is NOT working for this kid. Can you even tell who it is? Find out after the jump.