Television Review: TRILOGY OF TERROR (1975, Dan Curtis)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 72 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Karen Black, Karen Black, Karen Black, Karen Black, Robert Burton (LASSIE, Karen Black's then-husband), Gregory Harrison (TRAPPER JOHN, M.D.; RAZORBACK), Jim Storm (DARK SHADOWS, ONE LIFE TO LIVE), George Gaynes (PUNKY BREWSTER, TOOTSIE). Based on stories by Richard Matheson. Special effects by Erik von Buelow (THE FOOD OF THE GODS, EMPIRE OF THE ANTS).
Tag-line: None.
Best one-liner: "This can't be happening! This can't be happening!"

Every once in a while, you have one of those rough days at work. You're a high-powered television executive, and the office is gettin' ya down. Some guys from downstairs are goin' out for happy hour, and you resolve to join them for just one. One turns into two, you're havin' a fine time of it, two turns into three, then four, and the next thing you know, you wake up at your desk realizing you've greenlit a horror picture where Karen Black plays four roles.

It takes brass balls to make a picture like (the Richard Matheson-penned and Dan Curtis-directed) TRILOGY OF TERROR. Seriously- you're in an 'ABC movie-of-the-week' scenario and the temptation must be to make the simplest, dumbest, most kiddie-friendly fare imaginable. The last thing you need is a thousand calls to the network bustin' your balls about some inappropriate content or the like. So we get a horror triptych which tackles such issues as: inappropriate student-teacher relationships, roofies and date rape, sexual blackmail, gang rape, incest, the failings of the mental health system, and much, much more. I remarked to my girlfriend as we watched this- Holy God, I'd hate to have been a parent in 1975, hosting a Saturday night creature-feature slumber party for the neighborhood kiddies, and having to field these awkward questions during commercial breaks, questions like 'what's a roofie' and 'why was he photographing her in that hotel room' and 'what does it mean when he says he has a bunch of friends he'd like her to meet?'

She surmised that playing dumb and hoping they'd forget about it would be in order, and I had to agree. But the purpose of my bringing this up is not some priggish rant: I applaud TRILOGY OF TERROR for refusing to censor itself, and, like so many imaginative films of the 70's and 80's, rejecting the idea that horror films for children and adults are necessarily mutually exclusive.

The first segment, "Julie," which could have easily been entitled "Hot for Teacher" if they weren't going with the whole character name thing, is about a fuddy-duddy female professor and the amorous Big Man on Campus who only wants to take her out on the town and drug her and photograph her in compromising positions and blackmail her and enter into a sexually extortive relationship.


As the collegiate lothario in question, Black's then-husband Robert Burton delivers a legendarily sleazy performance combining the creepy leer of Gary Busey with the pompousness of an 80's teen movie villain.



Black retorts by exuding pathos in a nuanced performance as the sad sack teacher, overwhelmed by the fiendishness of it all. Now, as is often the case with horror omnibuses, the ending of a promising segment will be 'Ye Olde Switch-a-roo,' a twist ending so ludicrous that it may force you to mock the piece as a whole. While "Julie" certainly is done no favors by its looney finale, it's a silly enough turnaround that I am wholeheartedly able to support it.

The next segment, "Millicent and Therese" sees Karen Black really entering tour-de-force mode. As both halves of a pair of twisted sisters who each think the other is evil and insane, Black prompts me to quote Loverboy in assessing her performance: "the kid is hot tonight."

Millicent is an old maid in the vein of Katherine Hepburn who dresses like an extra from THE CRUCIBLE and wears glasses capable of sizzlin' ants right off the sidewalk.


She accuses her sister Therese of practicing demonology, pornography, incest, Satanism, voodoo, and of being a chippy.

Black plays Therese as an over-the-top blonde wig wearing floozy, and this was definitely the point in the film when I realized that I was going to love every minute of it.

She sweet-talks her psychiatrist ("You know you're a very handsome man, Doctor..."), breaks little girls' dollies, and slinks around the house like a wacko, ill-advised caricature of female sexuality.

Again, the finale involves the Ye Olde Switch-a-roo, and a glaring plot hole which I will not specifically address should sink the whole thing, but instead you're left in a complete state of bemusement, because said finale also involves a voodoo doll embellished quite wonderfully with fingernails and rhinestones.

In the final- and most notorious- segment, "Amelia," Black plays a newly independent young lady with mommy issues who comes into possession of a Zuni fetish doll that wastes no time in awakening, stalking her about the apartment, stabbing her ankles, biting her legs, and all that jazz.

With gnashing teeth and sunken eyes, the doll itself is extremely freaky and may have inspired everything from BLACK DEVIL DOLL FROM HELL to CHILD'S PLAY. This segment seems to have scarred an entire generation of youngsters, but in hindsight, it's wildly entertaining and often hilarious. A lot of the credit belongs to voice actor extraordinaire, Walker Edmiston (THE FLINTSTONES, H.R. PUFNSTUF) whose constant, high-pitched "HUMMANA HUMMANA NUM NUM NUM NUM YAH YAH YAH YAH YAAHHHHHHHHs" fuse with the stilted movements of the tiny puppet to create one of the most surreal and enjoyable setpieces ever to grace our televisions.



Because the production schedule required such a quick turnaround, the special effect often leaves a little bit to be desired (i.e., the Bela Lugosi BRIDE OF THE MONSTER school of special effects, whereupon the performer holds the rubbery monster to their own neck and flails), but this only works in the film's favor. Regardless, Black holds it all together with élan: she is the only human character in the segment, and her connection to her character's many trials is palpable. Ultimately my favorite segment of the three, "Amelia" even pulls of a Switcharoo ending that's bold, a little scary, and actually feels like an appropriate payoff!

Four stars.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: BURNT OFFERINGS (1976, Dan Curtis)

Stars: 3 of 5.
Running Time: 116 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Oliver Reed, Karen Black, Bette Davis, Burgess Meredith, Eileen Heckart (HEARTBREAK RIDGE, THE BAD SEED), Dub Taylor (BONNIE AND CLYDE, THE WILD BUNCH), Anthony James (VANISHING POINT, UNFORGIVEN), Lee Montgomery (GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN, THE MIDNIGHT HOUR). Based on the novel by Robert Marasco (author of the Tony-award winning CHILD'S PLAY- no relation to Chucky).
Tag-line: "The perfect summer rental for the last vacation you'll ever take."
Best one-liner: "I hate this place! I want to get of here. I HATE IT!"

Sort of a proto-SHINING (it's a 1976 film based on a 1973 novel, and King's novel wasn't published until 1977), BURNT OFFERINGS is a fairly enjoyable specimen of both the 'gothic haunted house' and 'descent into insanity' subgenres. A family (patriarch Oliver Reed, matriarch Karen Black, kiddie Lee Montgomery, and wacky aunt Bette Davis) is tasked with caring for a mansion while its owners (a crazed Burgess Meredith and Eileen Heckart) are away, but they encounter an evil, Victorian presence which draws them closer and closer to the brink of madness. Directed by the legendary purveyor of horror television, Dan Curtis (DARK SHADOWS, THE NIGHT STALKER, TRILOGY OF TERROR), it's atmospheric, dark, and labyrinthine, but it never quite congeals into an effective film.

BURNT OFFERINGS is dreamlike. When one says that a film's atmosphere is "dreamlike," it's often the highest of compliments– after all, one of filmdom's greatest ambitions is to transmit one's ethereal fantasies and nightmares onto the tangible substance that is celluloid. So allow me to elaborate: "the movie was so dreamlike I nearly fell asleep."

Occasionally filmmakers, in the service of making a sequence hazier or more phantasmagorical, will use a soft focus, an overexposure, some vaseline on the lens, or some combination therein. BURNT OFFERINGS uses this on every single shot.

I don't know if it's the fault of the DVD transfer or part of Dan Curtis' original vision, but needless to say, it's a bit much. So I'm gonna go ahead and say it: the movie drags, it's often nonsensical, and in general it feels as if you're peering at the narrative through a pair of non-prescription reading glasses purchased from the Rite Aid clearance rack for $1.59. But all is not lost, by any means. There's still a lot of reasons to consider BURNT OFFERINGS. Here are nine of them:

#1. Filmed at the historic Dunsmuir House in Oakland, California (where they also shot PHANTASM!), the location is spectacular enough to carry even a generic haunted house tale.


#2. Uncomfortable Bette Davis/Ollie Reed butt gropage.

In a moment I have a hard time believing was scripted, Ollie Reed dives in with a kind of a grab/pat which is rendered all the more disturbing since he's doing it to his (in-film) aunt. Mr. Reed must have been big on the impromptu ash grab, 'cause––yikes––he does it to Karen Black, too:


#3. Speaking of whom, if there's four states of matter (solid, liquid, gas, & plasma), there are two states of Oliver Reed (drunk, and in need of a drink). I could bore you all with the equations and formulae, but I shan't. Just take my word for it. We get both kinds in BURNT OFFERINGS.

Exhibit A: Oliver Reed drunk.


Exhibit B: Oliver Reed in need of a drink.

Note the frustration and inner tumult.

#4. Continuing in this vein, we bear witness to the rare phenomenon of an Ollie Reed summertime belly flop.

Either, A. the man does not know how to dive in a pool, B., it was a specific character choice, or C., he was drunk. I'll allow you to answer that one for yourself.

#5. The creepy chauffeur. Glimpsed only in flashback, and played by Anthony James (of IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT, UNFORGIVEN, GUNSMOKE, HIGH PLAINS DRIFTER, etc.),

he's probably the creepiest element of the film. His death's head grin is quite unnerving, and his tall, skeletal form is remembered from a funeral scene in Oliver Reed's character's childhood. The presence of the Dunsmuir House and an eerie, gangly, villainous presence (at a funeral, no less...like the Tall Man?) makes one believe that this must have been an influence on PHANTASM (though I see PHANTASM as the far superior film).

#6. Bette Davis. She's better than this movie, and she knows it. She mutters remarks like "Old people- they do crazy things sometimes!" She berates other family members, and does it while holding a ludicrously long cigarette holder.

But she believes in a paycheck, even if it involves having her ass slapped by Oliver Reed. Horror fans take note: her righteous devotion to paychecks brought us such classics as RETURN FROM WITCH MOUNTAIN, THE WATCHER IN THE WOODS, and WICKED STEPMOTHER. We must not forget this.

Pass the sloppy lipstick.

#7. Ornery Peckinpah fave Dub Taylor.

He's not in the film for long, but, as always, he possesses that same old crotchety, grizzled energy that made him such a favorite in the Western genre.

#8. Burgess Meredith.

Whether it's a TWILIGHT ZONE episode, a ROCKY movie, or a scene from THE MANITOU, whenever Burgess Meredith is on screen, I am beaming like a proud parent. The man puts a smile on my face, what can I say. Using a wheelchair and basically only appearing in the film's opening sequence, Meredith nonetheless showers us with his completely insane, endlessly talkative, freakishly madcap joie de vivre.

#9. Karen Black.

Now, based on my SHINING comparison, one might assume that only Oliver Reed undergoes the caretaker-style descent into madness, but Karen Black really gets in on the action, too. Her brilliantly erratic, unpredictable talents that are on view in such dramas as FIVE EASY PIECES, BORN TO WIN, and THE GREAT GATSBY find an excellent outlet in the context of a horror film. She and Oliver Reed make for an amazingly volatile screen pairing–

it's a pity that the narrative itself does not manage to harness any of the pizazz which they're bringing to the table.

In the end, BURNT OFFERINGS brings together a phalanx of extraordinary actors to the perfect haunted locale, but fails to make anything truly interesting happen there. It certainly holds the attention, but for pure insanity's sake, I have to recommend instead THE SENTINEL, PHANTASM, HOUSE, or HAUSU; and for enthusiasts of 'melancholy horror,' I prefer THE CHANGELING, CASTLE FREAK, or ANGEL HEART.

Still, three stars. Pass the Coors.