Only now does it occur to me... THE GOLDEN CHILD (1986)

Only now does it occur to me... that John Carpenter and THE GOLDEN CHILD share a curious history. Apparently, the script to THE GOLDEN CHILD––a fantasy/action/comedy rooted in surreal distortions of Chinese/Tibetan mythology/mysticism––was first offered to John Carpenter to direct as a film starring Mel Gibson. Carpenter declined, because he much preferred the script to a different fantasy/action/comedy rooted in surreal distortions of Chinese mythology/mysticism called BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA. He even expedited the production schedule of his own film so that it wouldn't compete with the much larger production, which by then had transformed into an Eddie Murphy vehicle directed by Michael Ritchie (PRIME CUT, THE BAD NEWS BEARS). When the dust settled, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA had grossed $11 million and THE GOLDEN CHILD, $80 million, which apparently was demoralizing to Carpenter. However, I must note that while the cult appeal of Carpenter's film has endured, THE GOLDEN CHILD exists mainly as a footnote in Eddie Murphy's filmography (and for fairly good reason).

While I freely admit my own pro-Carpenter bias, I think it's fairly clear that Carpenter's film approaches its subject material with a greater (albeit absurd) sense of sincerity. It's a nearly timeless, well-choreographed, crackerjack throwback to the cinema of Howard Hawks, whereas THE GOLDEN CHILD feels more like a generic '80s flavor of the week. BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA outshines it in action, pacing, and comedy; Ritchie's film is neither particularly funny nor exciting. However, that's not to say that there's nothing of value here for genre fans––there are a few interesting elements at play.

#1. Practically half the cast of BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA is in THE GOLDEN CHILD. We have Victor Wong ("Egg Shen" in BTILC):

Peter Kwong ("Rain" in BTILC)

and perennial "that guy" actor James Hong ("David Lo Pan" in BTILC)

in roles that are amusing, but substantially more bland than their work with Carpenter.

#2. Ray Harryhausen-style creatures, like a snake woman who recalls Medusa in CLASH OF THE TITANS:

and this little Pepsi can man, who dances to "Puttin' on the Ritz" to the amusement of Randall "Tex" Cobb:



Alright, maybe that alone is worth the price of admission.

#3. There's a bizarre, semi-music video sequence (not pictured) whereupon Eddie Murphy beats up a bunch of bikers listening to "Body Talk" by Ratt, while (contractually-obligated?) images of Ratt's music video intercut the scene. Okay, sure.

#4. Charles Dance. Best known to modern audiences as Tywin Lannister on GAME OF THRONES (and to '90s kids as Benedict in LAST ACTION HERO), Dance is one of the best, most subtle "villain" character actors working today.

As a GAME OF THRONES fan, I must say that it is bizarre to see Tywin Lannister, in the dead of winter, striding into a throne room like he owns the place.


He's later revealed to be a shapeshifting madman who ultimately transforms into a hell-demon like something out of ARMY OF DARKNESS.


Which is fine! It's not quite enough to make this a particularly memorable movie, but it's fine, and certainly plays to my interests on the character actor/hell-demon continuum.

Only now does it occur to me... BOOMERANG

Only now does it occur to me... that when I just wrote about Grace Jones' ridiculous arrival via crate in the CHRISTMAS AT PEE WEE'S PLAYHOUSE SPECIAL, that it was, in fact, a common mode of transport.  In the 1992 Eddie Murphy comedy BOOMERANG, a mysterious crate is helicoptered onto the docks of New York

and the lid falls down to reveal:


Grace Jones being dragged around in a Roman chariot drawn by leather-bondage dudes.

Either this references an 80s concert gimmick I'm not familiar with, is an homage to the aforementioned PEE WEE special, or it represents the fulfillment of an incredibly specific contractual demand by Ms. Jones.  Oh, the mysteries of the ages!

Only now does it occur to me... VAMPIRE IN BROOKLYN

Only now does it occur to me... that Eddie Murphy was such a student of Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Look no further than this bit from the agonizing, Wes Craven-helmed, Eddie Murphy produced-written-starred vanity piece VAMPIRE IN BROOKLYN.  In 1995, vampire-mulleted Eddie Murphy's just hangin' out with his lady friend (Angela Bassett) at a bar when a venomous snake crashes the party.

He uses a mystical technique to hypnotize and snatch the snake from the bar,

thus winning the day.

Way back in 1993, when Jean-Claude wore the same mullet in John Woo's HARD TARGET, he was enjoying some lady time in the bayou (with Yancy Butler) when a snake similarly crashed the party.

Without even ruffling his mullet, he grabbed said snake

 and employed a mystical technique to thwomp it into unconsciousness,

thus winning the day.

The big takeaway here is that Murphy has learned a lot from Mr. JCVD––and clearly the lessons have extended from entry-level stuff like fashion and grooming  into 300 and 400 level courses, like "How To Immobilize Snakes Mid-Romantic Rendezvous."  Eddie Murphy––he's just like the rest of us, eagerly awaiting the latest offerings of Professor Van Damme.

Only now does it occur to me... BEVERLY HILLS COP II

Only now does it occur to me... that the COBRA/BEVERLY HILLS COP connections have been overtly referenced on film.

So I'd known for some time that the script that became COBRA was originally written as "BEVERLY HILLS COP," and it was going to star Sylvester Stallone in the now iconic Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy) role. What I didn't know was that the makers of BEVERLY HILLS COP II decked out Billy Rosewood's (Judge Reinhold) home with Sylvester Stallone posters

RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II seen behind MIDNIGHT RUN's John Ashton.

including COBRA himself, who merits a confused look from Eddie Murphy.

Axel Foley, meet your grandfather/weird Cannon Film half-brother.


Then, Stallone continues to cast his shadow over BEVERLY HILLS COP II:  it co-stars crazed Dane, COBRA lead, and Stallone then-wife Brigitte Nielsen.

I have to say that I never thought I'd ever see a whacky, New Wave Nielsen attempt to assassinate Ronny Cox (DELIVERANCE, TOTAL RECALL, ROBOCOP) in broad daylight.


AIEEE!

So this movie is basically one big Stallone lovefest–

Er- let's not tell Sly about this, okay?

 P.S.– Also, is that Dean Stockwell?

Yeah, I guess so.  Hey, he doesn't really feel up to it, either.

Film Review: 48 HRS. (1982, Walter Hill)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 96 minutes.
Tag-line: "When a tough cop has a cool convict as a partner and 48 hrs to catch a killer, a lot of funny things can happen in . . . 48 HRS."
Notable Cast or Crew: Nick Nolte, Eddie Murphy, James Remar (QUIET COOL, THE WARRIORS), Brion James (BLADE RUNNER, RED HEAT), Peter Jason (THEY LIVE, JOHNNY HANDSOME), Chris Mulkey (QUIET COOL, TWIN PEAKS), Annette O' Toole (CAT PEOPLE, STEPHEN KING'S IT), David Patrick Kelly (THE WARRIORS, TWIN PEAKS, COMMANDO), Frank McRae (RED DAWN, LOCK UP), Ola Ray (Female lead in the THRILLER music video), Marcelino Sánchez (THE WARRIORS, HILL STREET BLUES).
Best one-liner: "Who GIVES a goddamn what YOU like? You're just a crook on a weekend pass! You're not even a goddamn NAME anymore! You're just a spearchucker with a number stencilled on the back of his prison fatigues! And I'm through fuckin' around. You tell me the truth or you're gonna get the living shit beat outta you." (said by Nick Nolte)

Often cited as as the first of the buddy cop films– a label which I find contentious, given that films like BUSTING and FREEBIE AND THE BEAN were being released almost a decade earlier– 48 HRS. is nonetheless a fine entry into the genre. It began life as an idea from producer Lawrence Gordon (PREDATOR, DIE HARD), who wanted to make a film which involved a time limit (48 hours), a kidnapping, and a cop temporarily springing a convict to aid in the investigation. The concept underwent several iterations with additions made by Roger Spottiswoode (TURNER & HOOCH), Larry Gross (STREETS OF FIRE, TRUE CRIME), Steven E. de Souza (DIE HARD, COMMANDO, HUDSON HAWK), and Walter Hill himself. The end result is a little STRAY DOG here, a little COOL HAND LUKE there, and a proper sprinkling of THE FRENCH CONNECTION and DIRTY HARRY. Initial casting would have placed Clint Eastwood and Richard Pryor in the lead roles, which I'm guessing could have made this film something like BLUE COLLAR meets EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE, and I can't decide whether or not that would be brilliant or a train wreck. But the cast which Judith Holstra (who also cast such great ensemble pieces as EXTREME PREJUDICE and RENT-A-COP) finally put together is one of the best in 80's action cinema: Nick Nolte, Eddie Murphy, James Remar, Brion James, Sonny Landham, Frank McRae, Peter Jason, and David Patrick Kelly, to name a few.

Now the plot's fairly by-the-numbers, the action scenes and chase setpieces are far from being the best in Hill's filmography, and Brion James spends the movie stuck behind a desk

Brion James a good guy behind a desk- really?!

-so why does 48 HRS. still stand apart from the pack? Well, allow me to try and explain:

#1. James Remar is fucking insane.

To play our villain, the recently escaped jailbird Albert Ganz, James Remar deprived himself of sleep to nail that crazy-eyed, paranoid, 'walking dead' look. And by God does he succeed.


Whether watching cartoons, jostling innocents, wandering around anxiously in a tank top, or gunning down cops as his mouth contorts in all of its gap-toothed-gaping-maw glory– Remar is spooky-good.

Also, he wears a crucifix earring:

And I'm pretty sure he had a real piercing- see also: HOMEBODIES.


#2. 'Non compos mentis' is Latin for Sonny Landham.

He's been a porn star, a Kentucky politician, a proponent of genocide against Arabs, and is so goddamned nuts that he needed a bodyguard on the set of PREDATOR to protect Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jesse Ventura, and Carl Weathers... from HIM. Look at him cackling with that hunting knife. Is that acting? I'm not sure we can say for sure. But in the context of 48 HRS., as James Remar's number two, this hate-mongering psychopath is just what the doctor ordered. Also, his character is named Billy– is he the same character from PREDATOR, but in an alternate universe?

#3. Which brings me to... David Patrick Kelly... as Luther?!

He's come a long way since "War-ree-yoors...COME OUT AND PLAY-YEE-YAY!," but I guess he survived and was reborn as a cheap punk under the thumb of Ajax who apparently made it to the west coast as well. Preposterous WARRIORS conjecture aside: David Patrick Kelly really dives into the role and it fits quite well into his rogue's gallery of diminutive sleazes that he's played over the years.

And as a side note, I really need to pick up his album one of these days.


#4. Nick Nolte clobbering the shit out of David Patrick Kelly, and possibly for real.



You get the feeling that DPK is a real trouper and was probably injured for real what with the amount of slamming into pavement and car doors and all-around manhandling and neck-twisting that occurs within this scene. (But I'm sure that he was so committed that he didn't even complain.)

#5. Nick Nolte always wakes up with a hangover even when he hasn't had a drop to drink. Except for those 40 beers and a bottle of vermouth and oh dear God how did it come to that.


#6. James Horner's score. Horner (COMMANDO, ALIENS, WILLOW, AVATAR, THE NEW WORLD, TITANIC) has done his fair share of big budget actioners, and he certainly doesn't disappoint. But this leads me to an anecdote. Lately- and I'm not too proud to admit this– I've been doing a fair amount of listening to the COMMANDO (1985) soundtrack. It's kind of the superlative action soundtrack. Heavy brass, oppressive reverb-heavy kettle drums, nasty synthesized zithers, and some tropical flutes and steel drums for that Latin American flavor. On top of all this is a wailin' sax worthy of John Lurie which interjects breezy, squawkin' grooves with some amount of frequency. There's even some sentimental strings in there, too (for Alyssa Milano's character- I think her name was "Chenny"). Annyway, the point of my story is that every element that makes up the COMMANDO soundtrack makes sense- Latin American flourishes, a tropical vibe, an underscoring of father/daughter schmaltz. Now it had been some time since I had seen 48 HRS., so you can imagine my surprise to find that it basically has the exact same soundtrack as COMMANDO, give or take a few transpositions and subtle melodic shifts! I'll bet he thought no one would notice his self-plagiarization- but at least it makes thematic sense in the revisit. A fine action soundtrack (on both occasions).

#7. Ric Waite's hazy cinematography.


Ric Waite (RED DAWN, COBRA, OUT FOR JUSTICE) generally injects just the proper amount of creative lighting effects to make his images pop without overwhelming the bare-knuckled, no-frills stories they usually accompany. He knows the genres and directors that he works with well (from Milius to Hill to Flynn to Cosmatos), and he knows he ain't workin' with Bertolucci, Antonioni, or Ken Russell. His work on 48 HRS. can be described as 'evocatively smoggy.' You feel the grime and the haze and the heat of California as washed-out daytime earth tones are replaced at night by neon and twirling police flashers. It's a vivid imagining, and you really feel the stifling sense of what it must be to exist beneath the sweaty, grubby belly of the Golden State. Hollywood, of course has a rich history of depicting this sort of thing, and it can be seen in everything from John A. Alonzo's work on CHINATOWN (1974) to Robby Müller's on TO LIVE AND DIE IN L.A. (1985) and beyond.

#8. The delightfully brutish way with which Nolte pronounces the word "bullshit." It's like it takes on a life of its own.

"BULLLLLSHIT."

See also: Nolte's exclamation "My ass bleeds for ya!" and his assertion "You been dickin' me around since we started this turd hunt."

#9. A bit part by Chris Mulkey (Hank Jennings on TWIN PEAKS) as a patrolman.

I wonder if he and Remar became buddies, because he shows up again in QUIET COOL.

#10. Eddie Murphy's notorious starmaking scene in the redneck bar.

It's hyped up to no end, but it's still a great scene. And it's refreshing to see the raw talent of Murphy, years before he became intoxicated by his own self-importance. He tosses off lines like "Sit your country ass down, man!" with aplomb, and we suspend our disbelief that Murphy could singlehandedly rough up an entire bar of brawny (presumably racist) yokels because he commands– no, demands the viewer's attention, so much so, that you exist purely in the moment with him. You're caught up in the sheer masterpiece of bullshit that his character is constructing, and it's a joy to watch.

(And watch for John Carpenter-favorite Peter Jason as the back-talkin' hayseed bartender.)

Four stars.

-Sean Gill

Junta Juleil's Summer '10 Movie Series
1. HELL IN THE PACIFIC (1968, John Boorman)
2. KUFFS (1992, Bruce A. Evans)
3. THE OUTFIT (1973, John Flynn)

4. FOR Y'UR HEIGHT ONLY (1981, Eddie Nicart)

5. A*P*E (1976, Paul Leder)

6. BLIND FURY (1989, Philip Noyce)
7. HIS KIND OF WOMAN (1951, John Farrow)
8. HIGH SCHOOL U.S.A. (1983, Rod Amateau)
9. DR. JEKYLL AND MS. HYDE (1995, David Price)
10. MIDNIGHT IN THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL (1997, Clint Eastwood)
11. 1990: BRONX WARRIORS (1982, Enzo G. Castellari)
12. FALLING DOWN (1993, Joel Schumacher)
13. TOURIST TRAP (1979, David Schmoeller)
14. THE THREE MUSKETEERS (1973, Richard Lester)
15. BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA (1986, John Carpenter)
16. TOP GUN (1986, Tony Scott)
17. 48 HRS. (1982, Walter Hill)
18. ...