Only now does it occur to me... HEART LIKE A WHEEL (1983)

Only now does it occur to me... that I've found my new favorite alliterative way to refer to this movie, and that is a "Bonnie Bedelia/Beau Bridges boundary-breaker biopic."

The story of Shirley Muldowney (the first woman to become a champion top-fuel dragster), HEART LIKE A WHEEL is a solid studio programmer with a compelling lead performance by Bonnie Bedelia (DIE HARD, THEY SHOOT HORSES DON'T THEY?, THE BOY WHO COULD FLY, SALEM'S LOT). Most importantly, it allows me to make statements such as:

"Bonnie Bedelia and Beau Bridges are bitterly brooding at a bar––bring Beau a Bacardi" and

"Bonnie Bedelia and Beau Bridges' Byzantine bond becomes a burden at this Baton Rogue B&B"

 

Directed by Jonathan Kaplan (TRUCK TURNER, WHITE LINE FEVER, OVER THE EDGE, TV's ER), HEART LIKE A WHEEL is basically a rogue's gallery of Roger Corman veterans, including cinematography by Tak Fujimoto (DEATH RACE 2000, CAGED HEAT), a bit part by Dick Miller (A BUCKET OF BLOOD, THE TERROR), 

Because this is "a movie," that means Dick Miller is in it

 

supporting roles from Leo Rossi (GRAND THEFT AUTO) and Bill McKinney (CANNONBALL!), as well as a wonderful Paul Bartel (HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD, ROCK N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL) cameo as a sexist French chef (playing the character, "Chef Paul").

We've also got baby Anthony Edwards (with hair!) as Bonnie Bedelia's teenage son 

and a variety of other interesting players, like THE OFFICE's Creed Bratton and musician Hoyt Axton.

Only now does it occur to me... PROJECT X

Only now does it occur to me...  that even the presence of two legendary character actors known for playing some of the best assholes of the 80s can't save PROJECT X from the inwardly collapsing force of its own Lite Spielberg schmaltzitude.

The first character actor in question is Jonathan Stark, whose turn as Chris Sarandon's bullying sidekick in FRIGHT NIGHT cemented his status as one of the premiere dicks of the 80s.

Here, he's not all that villainous, per sé, but he's got this high-school bully expression plastered on his face at all times,

one that almost insinuates you're playing right into his hands with every word you say; as if the existence of everyone around him is merely an amusing set-up to a punchline he will eventually deliver.

He also gets bonus points for at one point winking and giving the air gun/'chk-chk' of approval to a chimpanzee.

The second is William Sadler (DIE HARD 2, HARD TO KILL, BILL & TED'S BOGUS JOURNEY) who is very disapproving of Matthew Broderick

 
and generally plays the stereotype of the unfeeling 80s scientist who would rather chase a chimp with a cattle prod than let Helen Hunt snuggle it out and teach it sign language.

William Sadler: over it.

And yeah, that's where the main issue is: this movie is not really about 80s bullies or evil scientists, it's more of a (well-intentioned) pro-animal rights fusion of E.T. and TOP GUN, but with little of the kitsch value that would imply.  I didn't hate it, but even these character actor favorites and an opening song called "Shock the Monkey" by Peter Gabriel couldn't penetrate the self-serious attitude.  Perhaps I'd feel differently if I'd seen this as a kid and not waited till 2014?  Still: nice work, Sadler & Stark!

Film Review: TRUCK TURNER (1974, Jonathan Kaplan)

Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 91 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Isaac Hayes (ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, I'M GONNA GIT YOU SUCKA), Yaphet Kotto (BLUE COLLAR, ALIEN, FREDDY'S DEAD, BONE), Scatman Crothers (THE SHINING, FRIDAY FOSTER), Dick Miller (GREMLINS, BUCKET OF BLOOD), Alan Weeks (SHAFT, BLACK BELT JONES), Nichelle Nichols ('Uhura' on STAR TREK), Charles Cyphers (DEATH WISH II, HALLOWEEN, THE FOG), Matthew Beard ('Stymie' from THE LITTLE RASCALS!). Music by Isaac Hayes.
Tag-lines: "Black, bold, and bloody mean!"
Best one-liner: "Anybody ask you what happened, tell 'em you been hit by a truck: Mac 'Truck' Turner!"

If Jack Hill's COFFY is Queen of the Blaxploitation flick, then TRUCK TURNER is King. Originally designed as a Robert Mitchum (!), and then a James Coburn (!!) vehicle, one thing led to another and American International modified it to fit the mold of their other, 'urban' successes like SLAUGHTER, BLACK CAESAR, HELL UP IN HARLEM, et al. It becomes a wild sprint from start to finish- outrageous fashions, hostile language, splurting bullet wounds, and sassy, sassy tambourines.

Isaac Hayes IS "Mac 'Truck' Turner."

What he lacks in acting chops, he makes up for in sheer badassery and wanton cheekiness. The film begins with a very 'Philip Marlowe'-style scene (suddenly the Mitchum connection makes a little more sense). Our charmingly disreputable hero wakes up in his ramshackle L.A. apartment. His cat trots around, playfully. He moves to put on a shirt. It's the place where Marlowe would say something witty and sardonic about the previous night's exploits. Instead, we have: "Francis, I forgot to feed you last night. I'm sorry about that––YOU PISSED ON MY SHIRT! My last goddamned shirt! You punkass son of a bitch! Get your ass offa here!" And he tosses the cat off the bureau.

"You punkass sonofabitch!"

Whew. I think it's safe to say that in the alternate universe where I control the outcome of the Oscars, this would've at least won Best Screenplay. We got an obligatory women's prison scene; Scatman Crothers as a semi-retired pimp who enjoys Créme de Menthes while reclining on wicker furniture on a well-manicured lawn:

a pimp's funeral that involves a procession of increasingly ludicrous costumes (a sequined eye-patch! a rainbow clown wig!):



the most pleasantly surprising hospital scene until BREAKIN' 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO:

The sharp-eyed viewer will note that Yaphet Kotto has taken a toddler hostage, then in a display of gratuitous violence knocks over a porter and a wheelchair-using man– just for the hell of it!

and an oddly transcendent death scene that makes me wonder if Terrence Malick was on set for a day. Then, there's car chases that put films with ten times the budget to shame:

nearly as much beer consumption as WHITE LINE FEVER:

and...Dick fuckin' Miller!

Joe Dante would be proud.

But the real stars may be our villains: Yaphet Kotto (BONE) and Nichelle Nichols ('Uhura' on STAR TREK) deliver bold performances that perfectly alternate between nuanced and over the top. Yaphet, always a treasure, is pimped out in... well, a pimp outfit:

and matter-of-factly delivering brutal disparagements, punches to the guts, and at one point, actually spitting in OUR face!

Put-tooey!

Nichols rolls in wearing an iridescent white super-flared polyspandex pantsuit with a bikini top:

making exclamations like "THIS AIN'T SEARS ROEBUCK, NIGGAH!" and otherwise distancing herself from the calming presence of STAR TREK's Uhura by delivering brilliant monologues such as the following:
"Your ass belongs to me, I tell you what you can and can't do with it. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? Shut up! Now all you whores sit down, I wanna talk to you. Anybody thinking about leaving here is gonna find my left foot square up their ass, do you understand me? Shut up, ya chunky whore. I'm talking to you!...


...Those two bitches that left they better learn to sell pussy in Iceland because if I ever see them again, I'm gonna cut their fucking throats. Hey! We are a family. And that's what we're gonna stay. Now I got important business out there today. So when I call you I want you to shake yo asses proper, ya hear? HUH! Now get out there and make it look good. And Raquel, take that fucking jacket off!"

Sheer genius. And for those who are still skeptical- I offer these two sublime clips which I've entitled, A. "Naw I'm indestructible!" and B. "What about me?" –"What about you?":


A.


B.



Clearly, this movie deserves five stars.

-Sean Gill

Junta Juleil's Summer '10 Movie Series
1. HELL IN THE PACIFIC (1968, John Boorman)
2. KUFFS (1992, Bruce A. Evans)
3. THE OUTFIT (1973, John Flynn)

4. FOR Y'UR HEIGHT ONLY (1981, Eddie Nicart)

5. A*P*E (1976, Paul Leder)

6. BLIND FURY (1989, Philip Noyce)
7. HIS KIND OF WOMAN (1951, John Farrow)
8. HIGH SCHOOL U.S.A. (1983, Rod Amateau)
9. DR. JEKYLL AND MS. HYDE (1995, David Price)
10. MIDNIGHT IN THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL (1997, Clint Eastwood)
11. 1990: BRONX WARRIORS (1982, Enzo G. Castellari)
12. FALLING DOWN (1993, Joel Schumacher)
13. TOURIST TRAP (1979, David Schmoeller)
14. THE THREE MUSKETEERS (1973, Richard Lester)
15. BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA (1986, John Carpenter)
16. TOP GUN (1986, Tony Scott)
17. 48 HRS. (1982, Walter Hill)
18. ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO (2003, Robert Rodriguez)
19. TALES OF THE CITY (1993, Alastair Reid)
20. WHITE LINE FEVER (1975, Jonathan Kaplan)
21. 99 AND 44/100% DEAD (1974, John Frankenheimer)
22. LET'S KILL UNCLE, BEFORE UNCLE KILLS US (1966, William Castle)
23. TRUCK TURNER (1974, Jonathan Kaplan)
24. ...

Film Review: WHITE LINE FEVER (1975, Jonathan Kaplan)

Stars: 4.75 of 5.
Running Time: 90 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Directed by Jonathan Kaplan (TRUCK TURNER, BAD GIRLS, PROJECT X, BROKEDOWN PALACE, 40 episodes of ER). Written by Kaplan and Ken Friedman (JOHNNY HANDSOME, HEART LIKE A WHEEL). Starring Jan-Michael Vincent (AIRWOLF, HOOPER, THE MECHANIC, John Flynn's DEFIANCE), Kay Lenz (AMERICAN GRAFFITI, BIG WEDNESDAY, HOUSE), L.Q. Jones (THE WILD BUNCH, CASINO, BULLETPROOF), Dick Miller (BUCKET OF BLOOD, GREMLINS, EXPLORERS), Slim Pickens (DR. STRANGELOVE, POOR PRETTY EDDIE), R.G. Armstrong (PREDATOR, BULLETPROOF, CHILDREN OF THE CORN, THE FUGITIVE KIND), Sam Laws (TRUCK TURNER, WALKING TALL, THE FURY), Don Porter (YOUNGBLOOD HAWKE, THE RACKET), Leigh French (HALLOWEEN II, TALK RADIO). Music by David Nichtern (THE BIG PICTURE, THE SPIRIT OF '76). Costumes by Lambert Marks (MURDER SHE WROTE, THE MECHANIC, CATCH-22).
Tag-line: "Carrol Jo Hummer--A working man who's had enough!"
Best one-liner: "Don't sass me, you little sonofabitch!"
I had the pleasure of seeing this a few nights ago at the Anthology Film Archives' annual festival, "William Lustig Presents." Many reviews on this site, and indeed many of my favorite movies have been featured at Lustig's series– from ROLLING THUNDER to THE OUTFIT to THE STONE KILLER to DARK OF THE SUN. I urge anyone in the New York area to check out some of these flicks on the big screen- and you just might spot, wandering in and out of the screenings, that steadfast, jovial icon of gritty NYC and true soldier of cinema, Bill Lustig himself! This review shall take the form of a conversation in a squalid Alphabet City alleyway, populated by smoking piles of trash and busted-up, empty cans of Schlitz (and possibly continued from HERE):

"Psssst. Hey bud- you get a kick out those Weng Wengs I hooked you up with?"
–"Yeh, they sure did the trick. I still need to digest 'em. How'd you get your hands on 'em?"
"I got myself a French connection."
–"Oh, yeah? Well, whaddya got today?"
"Trucker movies, my friend. Rare trucker movies. Perfect for those hot summer evenings of chirping crickets and ice cold tall-boys."
–"You got TRUCKIN' BUDDY MCCOY?"
"Sadly, no. But I'll do you one better: WHITE LINE FEVER."

–"Keep talkin'."
"We got a 'docudrama'-style opening. A trucker being interviewed for the local news. Says he's beholden to the banks and the freight companies. Says he carries a gun in case they try and take his truck. Says 'You never know until you're put to the test.' Wise words... and you'd do well to keep 'em in mind. Next up- I love these 70's movies- we got a montage and family album style opening credits sequence. We get all the exposition we need in about a minute and a haff. Soldier boy Jan-Michael Vincent (as Carrol Jo Hummer) comes home to his sweetie-pie, Kay Lenz (as the newly minted Mrs. Jerri Kane Hummer). They're just tryin' to eke out a livin'. Carrol Jo picks up a rig named the "Blue Mule" (for kickin' ass, that is) and Jerri picks up some mind-numbin' employment at the Dr. Pepper factory. It's marital bliss for the 5 or so minutes before Carrol Jo is asked to sacrifice his principles by his handlers."
–"So what happens? Does he give in?"
"Hell, no, he doesn't give in, you shitheel! And damn you for thinkin' that he would. He mounts a fierce fuckin' crusade against the powers that be, from the crooked financiers to the low-down freight-haulers to the corrupt cops and evil shit-brickin' bastards. Some would call this a fool's errand, but if everybody kowtowed and bent over for The Man, we wouldn't have any of the finest films of the 1970's."
–"How's the cast?"
"'How's the cast?' How do you think the cast is?!- the cast is fuckin' great. Jan-Michael Vincent was one of the most promising actors of the decade- THE MECHANIC, BIG WEDNESDAY, DEFIANCE, HOOPER- you name it.

He's a likable presence, and you completely believe that he's the kind of guy who'd hang offa his rig with a shotgun, blastin' away for his God-given right to haul clean, honest cargo.


Then, Kay Lenz is cute as a button, and with a lot more fire. I mean, she was BREEZY for chrissakes- that's the title character in a Clint Eastwood movie!

Kay and Jan discuss family planning.

Then we got Dick Miller, playin' a trucker named 'Birdie Corman.' Did I mention that Kaplan was a Corman/Dante crony? Dante even gets his name dropped- a shipping executive is told that he has an upcoming appointment with a 'Mr. Joe Dante.' Anywho, Miller is great. He's wearin' an open plaid shirt that's so fuckin' big, it looks like a robe. He gets some borderline action scenes, and gets to flash that terrific head-shake/bemused smile look which says 'Damn, that kid's got guts!'
And did I mention Slim Pickens? When he first appears, he's wearing a bolo tie the size'a my fist and some flower-embroidered county western duds that'd make Merle Haggard blush.

He shouts "Well, bless my ass, Carrol Jo!" and immediately tosses him a can of Schlitz from his mini-fridge in his wood-paneled prefab office."
–"This sounds like my kinda flick!"
"Shut it! I ain't done! ...So Slim works as an intermediary between The Establishment and the truckin' buddies. Carrol Jo is a sort of monkey wrench in the works. Before Slim can say "Don't sass me, you little sonofabitch!," they're on opposin' sides of this struggle. But Slim might just have a conscience under that 10-gallon hat after all..."
–"Who else is in it?"
"Don't interrupt- I'm not finished with Slim yet. He gets a great scene where he's speeding down the highway, feeding his secretary-love connection chocolates from a junky drug-store's assortment. It's this kinda stuff that's worth the ticket price alone."
–"So how about–"
"Then we got L.Q. Jones. He's higher up on the chain than Slim. He was one of Peckinpah's favorites, and goddamn there was a reason for that. Here, he's an evil country shitball with a soul patch and a comb-over who lasciviously eyeballs his female employees like there's no tomorrow- and there might be no tomorrow if Carrol Jo catches up with 'im!"
–"Well you've certainly convinced me about the cast. But why do you hold it in such high regard?"
"Alright, listen. This movie was built, brick by brick, from real workin' peoples problems, frustrations, fears, and dreams. This is not some silly Americana shit, made by studio hacks who never really worked a day in their life. This is the genuine article.

Note the obelisks of Schlitz at the left.

The lifeblood is foamy Schlitz and Wild Turkey by the gallon. It's adorned with turquoise jewelry and peppered with more reaction shots than you can shake a stick at. It's dejected women sitting in an abortion clinic, staring at a poster that says 'Love is a fourteen-letter word: Familyplanning.' It's hot asphalt and stale, flavorless gum. It's truckin' stunts and men versus forklifts. It's men and women who are sick of bangin' their heads against the wall while some blubbery fuck in a plush office is gettin' rich offa it.

Plus it's got music that's kind of the unlikely love-child of the scores from DELIVERANCE and TRUCK TURNER."
–"Sold."
"En-joy. Make sure you got enough beers before ya start it, though."
–"Will do."
"And none'a them prissy beers."
–"Alright."
"You know what I'm talkin' about."
–"I do."
"Not even Coors. Coors might be too prissy for this movie."
–"I'll keep it in mind."
"In fact, Schlitz is probably best."
–"I figured."
"Or Lone Star. Lone Star would be okay, too."


-Sean Gill

Junta Juleil's Summer '10 Movie Series
1. HELL IN THE PACIFIC (1968, John Boorman)
2. KUFFS (1992, Bruce A. Evans)
3. THE OUTFIT (1973, John Flynn)

4. FOR Y'UR HEIGHT ONLY (1981, Eddie Nicart)

5. A*P*E (1976, Paul Leder)

6. BLIND FURY (1989, Philip Noyce)
7. HIS KIND OF WOMAN (1951, John Farrow)
8. HIGH SCHOOL U.S.A. (1983, Rod Amateau)
9. DR. JEKYLL AND MS. HYDE (1995, David Price)
10. MIDNIGHT IN THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL (1997, Clint Eastwood)
11. 1990: BRONX WARRIORS (1982, Enzo G. Castellari)
12. FALLING DOWN (1993, Joel Schumacher)
13. TOURIST TRAP (1979, David Schmoeller)
14. THE THREE MUSKETEERS (1973, Richard Lester)
15. BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA (1986, John Carpenter)
16. TOP GUN (1986, Tony Scott)
17. 48 HRS. (1982, Walter Hill)
18. ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO (2003, Robert Rodriguez)
19. TALES OF THE CITY (1993, Alastair Reid)
20. WHITE LINE FEVER (1975, Jonathan Kaplan)
21. ...