Film Review: SMITHEREENS (1982, Susan Seidelman)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 89 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Susan Berman (MAKING MR. RIGHT), Richard Hell, Brad Rijn (PERFECT STRANGERS, SPECIAL EFFECTS, THE STUFF), Cookie Mueller (PINK FLAMINGOS, UNDERGROUND U.S.A.), Nada Despotovich (THE ROCKETEER, JERRY MAGUIRE), Chris Noth (his debut; watch for him in the scene near the end with a vanload of hookers). Co-written by Ron Nyswaner (THE PRINCE OF PENNSYLVANIA, PHILADELPHIA).
Tag-lines: "Who is this?"
Best exchange: "I left you my TV, it's too heavy to carry." –"I don't want your TV." "Well, I don't think it even works, anyway."

Raw, low-budget East Village filmmaking from a time when that didn't mean tourists, frat boys, wanna-bes, and poseurs– it meant heroin addicts, New Wavers, wanna-bes, and poseurs. Set in this nearly post-Apocalyptic world of vacant lots, garbage mounds, graffiti'd brickwork, and random street fires, SMITHEREENS follows Susan Berman, who plays an abrasive, self-promoting groupie from Jersey (inspired in part by Giulietta Masina in NIGHTS OF CABIRIA). Between photocopied poster distribution and getting evicted from her apartment (well, to be fair, she stopped paying rent!) she finds herself drawn to two different men- the only problem is that her selfish tendencies pave a route to alienation, detachment, and putting all her eggs in one basket, and- wait a second, where the hell did that basket just go? It was here just a minute ago! (Ain't that the way it always is.)


The two men are a naive Montana boy living out of his van (played by Larry Cohen's own Brad Rijn), and a smooth-talkin', strung-out, hard-up rocker who slicks back his hair with beer (played by Richard Hell of The Voidoids). Though Hell later felt that his performance sold out the hardcore Manhattan punks by insinuating that they'd gone all soft, greedy, and New Wave-y; his characterization is nonetheless brilliant. Like our heroine, he, too, is governed by the shifting sands of self-preservation. But while hers is driven by emotion, his possesses a frightening separation from reality. Any given moment could lead to an unexpected kiss, a sudden beating, or the old vanishing act.

"I thought I'd just let myself in!"


Richard Hell: not a fan of the 'drop-by.'

Directed by Susan Seidelman (who later did the madcap, candy-colored DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN), she allows the genuine grittiness to meld with her vivid photography and lively set design. There's freaky low-rent hookers ("I got a scar, I'll show it to you for $5, it's in a really interesting place"), a mind-blowing sci-fi film-within-a-film starring Cookie Mueller, cat fights, petty crime, shared toothbrushes, and a raggedy profundity. Four stars.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: GEEK MAGGOT BINGO (1983, Nick Zedd)

Stars: 3.5 of 5.
Running Time: 74 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Nick Zedd, Richard Hell, Gumby Sangler, Brenda Bergman, Donna Death, Bruno Zeus, John Zacherle.

GEEK MAGGOT BINGO (also known as THE FREAK FROM SUCKWEASEL MOUNTAIN) will cause most people to unleash the bile that they usually reserve for, say, their landlord or the Department of Motor Vehicles, and, from an objective standpoint, I can't really blame them, but honestly I enjoyed this thing quite a bit. It's kind of targeted toward people who'd say "Boy, I really enjoyed PINK FLAMINGOS, but I had one complaint- it was too polished." This is DIY to the max, and ends up looking like something in between basement porn and an elementary school play.

The script ain't great, the style is nonexistent, and the acting... well, I'll talk about that in a bit. But there is a great degree of genuine artistry on display here: from hand-painted title cards and lovingly-rendered homemade sets to astounding, ghastly deformed fetus SFX and an unsettling two-bodied Frankenstein-style monster, there's enough creativity for several higher budget pictures:





But this thing is a mess. Richard Hell stumbles in while LITERALLY reading from his script, playing a totally wasted cowboy who half-sings nonsensical poetry, and at one point breaks the fourth wall, asking "How 'bout some direction, Nick?" This only makes me like Hell (and the film) even more.

Hell reads his script.

Hell waxes poetic.

Hell participates in an intricately staged tableau.

Gumby Sangler, as 'Flavian' the vampire, embodies a special form of bad acting that's impossible to consciously duplicate- he is the absolute worst, and I love it.

I think you can see what I mean.

Robert Andrews as Dr. Frankenberry is clearly a community theater all-star, and Brenda Bergman has a kind of wild-eyed intensity that's very in the moment, but you kind of feel like she has no clue what's happening around her. Largely incoherent, strung out, inspired by old Universal Horror flicks, and introduced by a rambling host with a drool cup (John Zacherle), I guess I can't help myself: three and a half stars.

(Side note: The GEEK MAGGOT BINGO DVD comes with some bonus Zedd shorts from the last ten years, which I cannot recommend- digital video and the laziness that can accompany it haven't exactly done Zedd any favors, and, unfortunately, none of the charm (or visual artistry) of GMB is evident.

-Sean Gill


2009 Halloween Countdown

31. PROM NIGHT (1980, Paul Lynch)
30. PHENOMENA (1985, Dario Argento)
29. HOUSE OF WAX (1953, André de Toth)
28. SILENT RAGE (1982, Michael Miller)
27. BASKET CASE (1982, Frank Henenlotter)
26. THE DEADLY SPAWN (1983, Douglas McKeown)
25. PELTS (2006, Dario Argento)
24. ANGEL HEART (1987, Alan Parker)
23. KILLER WORKOUT (1986, David A. Prior)
22. FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE (1991, Rachel Talalay)
21. THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES (1971, Robert Fuest)
20. FRANKENHOOKER (1990, Frank Henenlotter)
19. HELLRAISER (1987, Clive Barker)
18. GEEK MAGGOT BINGO (1983, Nick Zedd)
17.
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