Cloris Leachman Channels Garfield; Peter Graves Arm Wrestles Clint Walker

This post of part of the Cafe's Movie of the Week Blogathon. Please check out the other awesome reviews by visiting the blogathon schedule.

The hotel at the Portals of Eden.

Haunts of the Very Rich (1972). The opening scene introduces seven people who are en route to a paradise resort known as the Portals of Eden. The guests consists of: a bitter businessman (Ed Asner); a philanderer (Lloyd Bridges); a timid woman (Cloris Leachman); newlyweds (Donna Mills and Tony Bill); a priest who has lost his faith (Robert Reed); and a housewife recovering from a nervous breakdown (Anne Francis). When these seven people reach their destination, they are greeted by their host Mr. Seacrist (dressed in a white suit like Mr. Roarke). For a moment, I wondered if I was watching an early pilot of Fantasy Island.

Moses Gunn as the mysterious host.

However, things turn peculiar when the guests learn that there are no other vacationers and the staff understands but doesn't speak English. Mr. Seacrist (Moses Gunn) explains away these oddities--they are the first guests of a new season and a non-English speaking staff "works better that way." Still, when a tropical storm cuts off all communication with civilization, the Portals of Eden becomes downright ominous.

If you're familiar with Leslie Howard and John Garfield movies, then you've probably recognized this plot by now. Still, Haunts of the Very Rich keeps its big revelation in check for most of its 73-minute running time. It falters, though, near the end with a rambling speech by the otherwise fine Robert Reed and an esoteric jaunt through the woods by Bridges and Leachman.

Cloris Leachman and Lloyd Bridges.

As made-for-TV movies go, it's a strong cast with Bridges and Leachman the standouts as an unlikely duo who find love in the oddest of places. Leachman's character is the first to realize what has happened and the actress excels at slowly, hesitantly coming to grips with the reality of the situation.

Haunts of the Very Rich doesn't rank in the upper echelon of the ABC Movies of the Week, but it's worthy of 73 minutes of your time and you can watch it for free on YouTube.

Peter Graves as a former hunter.

Scream of the Wolf (1974). It's never good to get out of your car on an isolated road on a foggy night, so it's no surprise when something brutally kills a Los Angeles businessman. The sheriff of a nearby seaside community enlists the aid of writer John Wetherby (Peter Graves), a former big game hunter. They find wolf-like tracks around the corpse, but here's what's weird: the tracks change from a four-legged to a two-legged creature and then disappear!

When there's a second killing within a two-mile radius, John goes to see his old friend--and hunter extraordinaire--Byron Douglas (Clint Walker). Byron is an eccentric who specializes in making dramatic statements like: "Once an animal starts killing humans, it never stops" and "A good hunter is never sure of anything except that his prey will do the unexpected." Byron shows open disdain for John, whom he thinks has become weak ("You're only alive when you're in mortal danger").

Clint Walker arm wrestles Peter Graves.

The film's highlight is when Byron agrees to help hunt the animal if John, who once lasted seven minutes in an arm wrestling contest, can last just one minute this time. Peter Graves and Clint Walker in an arm wrestling contest? It just doesn't get much better than that, people!

Scream of the Wolf has an impressive pedigree with a script by Richard Matheson and Dan Curtis in the director's chair. The two were responsible for such enjoyable made-for-TV horror films such as The Night Strangler (1973) and the classic Trilogy of Terror (1975). Alas, Scream of the Wolf is not one of their better efforts.

Clint's impressive sideburns.

Yet, it does provide Clint Walker with one of his best roles. The success of his Cheyenne TV series typecast Walker as an understanding hero for most of his career (a notable exception was his convict in The Dirty Dozen). Scream of the Wolf provides him with a bizarre character and Walker has a grand time threatening wussies, spouting philosophy, and, of course, arm wrestling.

Plus, Clint sports some of the coolest triangular sideburns this side of Pythagoras. You can check them out because Scream of the Wolf is also available on YouTube.

Jimmy Takes a Vacation, Clint Fights a Grizzly, and George Gobel Channels Henry Fonda

Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation (1962). In the best of his 1960s family comedies, James Stewart plays Roger Hobbs, a successful St. Louis banker who has spent too much time in the office. His plans for a quiet vacation are dashed when he learns that his wife Peggy (Maureen O'Hara) has invited the entire family for a a month on the California coast. The clan includes teenage children Katey and Danny, adult daughters Susie and Janie, their husbands, the grandchildren, and the grumpy family housekeeper. To make matters worse, when the Hobbs arrive at their beach house, they find a dump with rotted-out steps, no water pressure, and mounds of dust. Furthermore, except for Peggy, no one wants to be there.

Lauri Peters and Fabian.

Fortunately, this is one of those 1960s comedies where it's inevitable that everything will work out in the end. Thus, Roger spends the summer reconnecting with each of his children in unexpected ways. Veteran screenwriter Nunnally Johnson sneaks in a few offbeat touches, such as Roger referring to his grandson as "the little creep." Still, Mr. Hobbs is a formula picture and a very long one at that (clocking in at almost two hours). Its modest success can be attributed to its likable (and interesting) cast. The supporting players include: teen heartthrob Fabian; Lauri Peters, who was Tony-nominated as one of the Von Trapp children in the original production of The Sound of Music and later married Jon Voight; and Marie Wilson, who played the title role in Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis' film debut My Friend Irma.

The Night of the Grizzly (1966). Until viewing this film recently, I could have sworn it was about a frontier family fending off a night-long grizzly bear attack. Well, The Night of the Grizzly does feature a frontier family and there's a grizzly--but the plot similarities end there. Instead, we get Clint Walker as Big Jim Cole, who has just moved his family to the town of Hope after inheriting Grandpappy's 640-acre farm ("the richest section of land in the whole territory"). To Big Jim's dismay, he discovers the house needs major repairs and that Grandpappy owed $175 on a $500 loan. The Cole family's problems don't end there: mean Jed Curry (Keenan Wynn) wants the property and Big Jim's livestock are being killed by a 1500-pound grizzly named Satan ("he just kills for the wicked fun of it").

Gypsy--after the skunk encounter.

With exteriors shot in scenic San Bernardino National Forest, The Night of the Grizzly aims to be a family film along the lines of Old Yeller. There are amusing scenes (six-year-old Gypsy eating by herself after being sprayed by a skunk) to go along with the grizzly encounters. Unfortunately, there are too few of the latter--for a movie with a ferocious bear in the title, there are not enough scenes with the "savage, senseless killer." All that remains is a perfunctory frontier family saga that wastes nice turns by Leo Gordon and Jack Elam. Gordon plays an ex-convict that hates Big Jim, but has a soft spot for Jim's son Charlie (Kevin Brodie). Elam portrays another of his grizzled town layabouts who develops a sweet friendship with little Gypsy (Victoria Paige Meyerink).

George Gobel and Mitzi Gaynor.

The Birds and the Bees (1956). After a lengthy expedition in the Congo, George Hamilton II--the heir to the Hamilton Hotdogs empire--boards an ocean liner to return home to Connecticut. Buried in his books and preoccupied with his pet snake Emma, George is oblivious to all the young, fortune-hunting women pursuing him--that is, until he trips (literally) over Jean Harris. The naive George falls hard for Jean--not realizing that she and her father are con artists after his money.

Niven as a card sharp.

Wait a minute, you say! Didn't I just describe the plot to Preston Sturges' The Lady Eve? You're right, of course, The Birds and the Bees is a semi-musical remake of the Sturges classic with Mitzi Gaynor as Jean, George Gobel as George, and David Niven as Jean's father. While Sturges purists may argue with the casting, Mitzi Gaynor (who has never looked lovelier) gives one of her best performances as the con artist who falls in love with her target. Personally, it took me awhile to warm up to George Gobel's doe-eyed protagonist, but his innate low-key charm eventually won me over. Still, one's opinion on this remake will likely hinge on whether you accept Gobel in the Henry Fonda role.

One of television's first big stars in the 1950s, George Gobel had little success on the big screen. However, he continued to be a mainstay on television, whether showing up as a Tonight Show guest or appearing as a regular for several years on The Hollywood Squares.

Bad Movie Theatre: Clint and Bo vs. a Skier-eating "Snowbeast"

As Will Shakespeare might have said: "We come not to criticize bad movies, but to appreciate them for providing a contrast to good movies." Lest we not forget, the line between intentional and unintentional humor can be a fine one. With these insights in mind, we introduce Bad Movie Theatre, a new occasional feature at the Cafe.

Bo Svenson--not to be confused with Bo Derek.

Before discussing Snowbeast, I want to clarify that the "Clint" and "Bo" of this post's title do not refer to Eastwood and Derek. Alas, we are talking about Clint Walker and Bo Svenson. The confusion is understandable: Both Clint's are tall (though Walker towers four inches above Eastwood) and both Bo's are blonde (Svenson is a guy, Derek is not).  For the record, Bo Svenson is fourteen inches taller than Bo Derek and that's if the latter's height is rounded up. Yes, our Clint and Bo are both 6' 6"--which is good if you're fighting an equally tall carnivorous Bigfoot.

Yvette Mimieux, who has little to do.

Bo Svenson plays Gar Seberg (no relation to Jean), a former Olympic skiing gold medalist making a promotional appearance at the 50th Winter Carnival at Rill Lodge. Gar and his wife Ellen (a dark-haired Yvette Mimieux) have a rocky marriage, mostly because of Gar's mid-life crisis. She wants him to ask lodge manager Tony (Robert Logan) for a job. Tony, incidentally, still has a thing for Ellen, who jilted him for Gar years earlier.

As if the big celebration and his former flame weren't enough, Tony has to deal with the mutilated corpse of a skier found near the slopes. The scene where he informs his preoccupied grandmother (Sylvia Sidney), who owns the lodge, is a personal favorite:

TONY (referring to the skier's death):  "This wasn't an animal...and it wasn't human either."

GRANDMOTHER:  "Well, that certainly narrows it down."

Snowbeast peeking through the gym window.

You can't fault Grandma's logic. Her focus, naturally, is ensuring that nothing stops the carnival since its financial success is critical to avoiding bankruptcy. Despite Tony's pleadings, Grandma moves ahead with the beauty pageant and other festivities at the high school gym. Just when the townsfolk are packed in there like sardines, the Snowbeast attacks. Following its rampage, Sheriff Paraday ("special guest star" Clint Walker), Gar, and Tony set out to track the monster down.

Since Snowbeast is a low-budget affair, the monster is only glimpsed in its few appearances--which is a good thing since it's not very impressive-looking. Instead, we get a lot of first-monster camera views, hear growls, and see tracks in the snow.

If the plot of Snowbeast sounds vaguely familiar, it may be because its premise--a monstrous creature attacking a resort during tourist season--was lifted from Jaws (Spielberg's film adaptation was released two years earlier). Sadly, the script was written by Joseph Stefano, who--earlier in his career--wrote the screenplay for  Hitchcock's Psycho and twelve episodes of The Outer Limits (including the classic "The Zanti Misfits").

Clint Walker, who fared better as Cheyenne.

For the record, both Clint and Bo fared better in other movies with large terrifying creatures. The Night of the Grizzly may be Clint's best theatrical film in which he received star billing. It used to be a TV staple, but its showings have become scarce over the last 15 years. As for Bo, he played the Monster to Robert Foxworth's Dr. Frankenstein in a two-part TV adaptation of Frankenstein (1973). And while Bo may not be a champion skier in real life, he has won several judo championships.