Cult Movie Theatre: The Green Slime

Robert Horton as the stoic hero.

What do you do when you learn that a six million ton asteroid is on a collision course with Earth and impact is just ten hours away?

The UNSC (United Nations Space Center?) recalls Commander Jack Rankin (Robert Horton) from retirement and sends him to Operating Base Gamma 3. Once there, Rankin's mission is to plant two explosive devices on the asteroid, thereby reducing it to atomic dust. Rankin's arrival at the space station is a little awkward. He assumes command from former best friend Vince Elliott (Richard Jaeckel), who is planning to marry Rankin's former flame Dr. Lisa Benson (Luciana Paluzzi).

Luciana Paluzzi as Dr. Benson.

Before this revived love triangle can be sorted out, though, Rankin and Elliott must destroy the asteroid. Their mission goes well, but a colleague gets a trace amount of a green organism on his uniform. Back on the space station, the organism begins to reproduce exponentially ("It's spreading like wildfire!"). Pretty soon, Gamma 3 is being overrun by green, one-eyed, tentacled creatures that feed on energy and kill the crew by electrocuting them.

Made by MGM in 1968, The Green Slime was an American-Japanese co-production. It was shot in Tokyo by a Japanese crew, but with an American cast (except for Italian beauty Paluzzi). Many of the extras were not professional actors. Some critics claim it was intended as the fifth installment in an Italian science fiction film series about a space station called Gamma One. (The first movie in that series was 1966's Wild, Wild Planet.) 

One of the cheesy-looking creatures.

The Green Slime is now considered a camp classic thanks to its atrocious special effects, silly-looking alien creatures, and composer Charles Fox's rock 'n' roll title song. That said, the monster-on-the-space station premise works well enough and foreshadows Alien (1979)--though both movies owe much to It! The Terror From Beyond Space (1958).

As the stoic hero, Robert Horton appears to be having a lot of fun. In one scene, I swears he looks like he's about to burst out laughing. Sadly, the stunning Luciana Paluzzi has little to do. She was one of my favorite Bond henchman, playing fiery Fiona Volpe in Thunderball (1965). She also appeared in Muscle Beach Party (1964), in which she tried to steal Frankie Avalon away from Annette. The unfortunate Vince was played by the always solid Richard Jaeckel, who forged the most successful film career of the three leads.

Shouldn't it be "The Green
Slime is coming?"

The Green Slime was directed by the prolific Kinji Fukasaku. He later produced Asian box office hits like Battles Without Honor and Humanity (1973) and the controversial Battle Royale (2000). The latter film preceded The Hunger Games by eight years with its futuristic tale about high school students who must participate in a government-sponsored game in which they kill one another until only one survives.

Incidentally, there are two versions of The Green Slime. The U.S. release is 90 minutes long, while the Japanese version clocks in at 77 minutes. It omits the love triangle, has a different title theme, and sports a more downbeat ending.

Buff Guys, Bikini Babes, and Rockin' Surf Music Abound in "Muscle Beach Party"

Julie, the Contessa, watches
as Flex flexes his muscles.

Contessa: You’re so strong. Flex: I’m the strongest.

Contessa: And so handsome.
Flex: I’m the handsomest.

Contessa: And so big.

Flex: Yes, ma’m.

Contessa: I want to be alone with you.

Flex: Did you see this tricep?

Contessa: I want to take you away with me.

Flex: The way I can make it ripple?

Contessa: Right now.

Flex: I haven’t had my lunch.

Jack Fanny (Don Rickles) motivates his bodybuilders,
led by Peter Lupus on the far right.

I have something in common with a Contessa. No, it’s not the wealth, nor the beauty. But we both think Peter Lupus, billed under the stage name Rock Stevens, is cute and fun. Muscle Beach Party gives Lupus’s character Flex Martian, also known as Mr. Galaxy, a chance to really show off his award-winning physique. Lupus became regular Willie Armitage on Mission: Impossible two years after this classic entry in the Beach Party series. Flex proudly wears a shiny purple bathing suit with a gold cape and is surrounded by seven shorter muscular men in shiny pink bathing trunks and pink capes (named Biff, Rock, Tug, Riff, Hulk, Sulk, and Clod) and their manager Jack Fanny, perfectly portrayed by Don Rickles.

Frankie explains to Dee Dee, a bit
condescendingly, that "girls don't fly."

Series regulars Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello are back in this second Beach Party entry as Frankie and Dee Dee, along with Jody McCrea as their friend Deadhead and shimmying Candy Johnson as Candy. The film opens with Frankie beginning to feel pressured by Dee Dee to make a commitment to settle down when he just wants to keep having fun with his beach friends.

Luciana Paluzzi before Thunderball.

Meanwhile, the Contessa Julie, played by the luminous Luciana Paluzzi (best known as Fiona Volpe in Thunderball), arrives in her luxury ocean liner. She proves to be indecisive, thinking she is in love first with Flex and then with Frankie, when she comes across him wistfully singing “A Boy Needs a Girl (He Can Count On)” on a moonlit beach. She decides she likes Frankie’s voice and boyish charms even more than the buff strongman’s--to the disgust of Dee Dee, who calls her the Bride of Godzilla at one point.

Annette surfing in her cute suit...
in front of a rear screen wave.

Annette plays the lovely girl next door and wears one of her prettiest two piece swimsuits, with a net draped across the top. We hear her sing “A Girl Needs a Boy (She Can Count On)” with an echo effect that came to be known as the "Annette sound." Part of the fun of Muscle Beach Party is hearing songs performed enthusiastically by Donna Loren, Little Stevie Wonder (who was 14 at the time), and Dick Dale and the Del-Tones.

Morey Amsterdam mugging
as Cappy.

Entertaining supporting performances abound, including Morey Amsterdam reprising the role of proprietor Cappy from Beach Party, Buddy Hackett as the Contessa's business manager, Peter Turgeon as Julie’s lawyer, and even a turn by Peter Lorre as the strong yet silent partner of Jack Fanny. Yet, despite the presence of such veteran funnymen, Harvey Lembeck is sorely missed as motorcycle gang leader Eric Von Zipper. Muscle Beach Party is the only one of the seven Beach Party movies without Lembeck.

The ending is not a surprise but viewers watch Beach Party films for the fun in the sun and the singing and dancing. There are lots of shots of surfing and even a “walls of Jericho” to separate the young women from the young men in their cramped lodging. It's a perfect movie for light summer viewing, with or without a beach.