BAB Classic: "Cows, Pigs, and Witches! The World is Beset by Devils!" Marvel Team-Up 44

This post was originally published on 12 April 2010.

  Marvel Team-Up 44 (April 1976)
"Death in the Year Before Yesterday!"
Bill Mantlo-Sal Buscema/Mike Esposito

Doug: Last chapter, folks... and I'm sorry to say I'm sort of glad. As Karen and I discussed off-site, this little story started out promising -- Spidey, time travel, lots of Avengers, Doc Doom -- should have been good stuff. And while I have fond memories of this as a kid, it is perhaps one story that hasn't held up over time. I think it suffers, maybe even as some superhero movies do these days, of too many characters cavorting around in what became a big mess of a plot. But we'll put a smile on and trudge through.

Karen: Indeed, every so often we come across these books - ones which were far more interesting in our memories than in reality! But let's finish it up.

Doug: We begin on the roof of Avengers Mansion. Moondragon is distracted by her thoughts as Iron Man approaches. I have to say, I really hated Moondragon when I was a kid. This issue of MTU was on the stands the same month as Avengers #146, and of course that was the fill-ins that ran in the middle of the Serpent Crown Affair. If you recall, that was the arc when Moondragon tried to convince Thor that he was above his fellow Assemblers. And what's more, she basically declared herself his equal. Man, I hated that woman.

Karen: I don't think you were alone. I didn't like her either. But of course, I believe that was Steve Englehart's intention when he thrust her on the Avengers. She was that rock in one's shoe, always causing some irritation.

Doug: "Rock in one's shoe" is a great way to put it! So Moondragon succumbs to the same hex bolt that had uprooted Spider-Man back in MTU #41 and is lifted into the timestream, to emerge back in 1692 to find our heroes bound on some gizmo. The Dark Rider is present (still a giant), as is Cotton Mather. The Rider commissions Mather to plunge the Soul Blade into our heroes, which will commence the transfer of their powers/energies to the Rider. Mather hesitates, and that's when Moondragon enters the fray.

Doug: Moondragon zaps the Rider with a mindblast, stunning him. Spidey, Vision, and Wanda awaken to see these new developments, and Doom stuck in some bubble doo-hickey. Spidey and the Vision leap into action to free Doom. While they free ol' Vic, the Rider reverses the mindflow back at Moondragon, who now has to see his origin.

Karen: I thought that was a really strange two page spread, where the heroes are on some altar and Doom is inside a bubble, all very magicky, but the Rider has these mechanical-looking cables coming out of his glove, linking the bubble and altar.

Doug: What was even stranger was the scene where Spidey and the Vision free Doom -- instead of being solid, the bubble peeled back like a... well, like a bubble -- pliable, not solid.

Doug: But wait, there's more! We get to see the Rider's origin as well, and it's... well, to be honest, sort of bland. Wizards, and blah, blah, blah. OK, I've about had enough. This story couldn't get over fast enough. I think, sticking to Bronze Age baddies, that we'd see this sort of thing again shortly with the Sphinx (in the pages of The Man Called Nova and later the Fantastic Four). He was much more interesting with a similar backstory. But, in case you wondered, the good guys gang up on the Rider and eventually Moondragon turns the tide and they blast him out of existence. The story does end on a touching note, as Spidey arrives just too late to save his Puritan friends. I guess I'd forgotten the last scene of the hanging -- while only the victims' feet are shown, it is a bit disturbing.

Karen: Man, you're not kidding. After grinding our way through all the hokum with the Rider, that last page is like a punch to the gut. I'm glad we're done with this one.
Doug: Agreed. This one probably could have been done in 3 1/2 issues, with a lot of the chaff left out. To be honest, some of the Witch Trials scenes became laborious to get through, but it might have been better, more emotional had the scene to the right been set up a bit better. On the one hand we got some really good Sal Buscema art, but on the other we got a Bill Mantlo who seemed to wander the longer this story went on.

BAB Classic: "Before the Awesome Power of the Dark Rider!" Marvel Team-Up 43

This post was originally published on 7 April 2010.

Marvel Team-Up 43 (March 1976)"A Past Gone Mad!"Bill Mantlo-Sal Buscema/Mike Esposito

Doug: Face Front, Marvelites -- it's the penultimate chapter to our little tour through Salem, Mass., circa 1692. When we left off, Doom had arrived on the scene in all his pomposity to face the Dark Rider. Mather falls apart, claiming allegiance to this new "angel of light". While the Dark Rider offers Mather to Doom, Doom backhands ol' Cotton, sending him reeling back toward Spidey and the Vision. It's obvious a face-off is coming!

Karen: I thought it was quite some hyperbole for Doom to say to the Rider that "It was your power that drew me here...power such as even Doom has never known!" considering that Doom had once stolen the power cosmic of the Silver Surfer! But I love the way Sal drew that backhand -whoosh!!

Doug: The Dark Rider reveals that his only interest in Doom and the others of his time is their knowledge of magic. As Spidey and the Vision now move in, the Rider unleashes a cat that had been perched on his shoulder. The cat, like the raven in the previous issue, begins to grow, posing a formidible opponent for our heroes. This scene is a nice two-page spread, where the Rider tells Doom his own origin -- it's a nice recap of the origin tale from way back in FF Annual #2.

Karen: A giant cat. Spidey and the Vision have fought aliens, robots, monsters....yet they are in trouble facing a giant kitty cat. Oh please.

Doug: The bad kitty gets whacked, but by whom? Ah, yes -- the Scarlet Witch has arrived, weakened as she is from her ordeals of the past two issues. Apparently the jig is up (or something), because all of a sudden the Dark Rider flips off his lid, revealing a quite curious look. First off, he sports a Mohawk hair-do. Next, he has shriveled lips like he doesn't have his dentures in, yet has teeth that have been filed to a point (think Dee Snider of Twisted Sister). Lastly, he grows. Really big, he grows.

Karen: This guy reminds me of Necrodamus from Defenders #1, also drawn by Sal.

Doug: Scripter Bill Mantlo cuts us away to a courtroom in Salem, as John Proctor meets his fate. Two pages are devoted to more of the Witch Trials, with the young girls frothing at the mouth and proclaiming "They be witches!" and stuff like that. Even the judge is called out.

Karen: The court room scene, as well as the Salem history lesson in the previous issue, seem over-long. Not all of us are fascinated by this particular point in history the way Mantlo seemed to be!

Doug: Back to the battle, Doom utters one of the greatest lines of his career: "Back! Back, you damnable leech!" Awesome. That is something the Doc would say. Great characterization by Mantlo.

Karen: Yes, Doom constantly referring to himself in the third person was a fitting tribute to his ego.

Doug: During all of this, Wanda is for the most part useless. Spidey and the Vision, as well as Doom, are out-classed. The issue ends with a triumphant, gigantic Dark Rider holding the defeated Doom in his hand as Kong once held Fay Wray. But be optimistic, O Keeper of the Flame -- this yarn's "To Be Continued"!

BAB Classic: "Aye, They Be Witches!" Marvel Team-Up 42

This post was originally published on 31 March 2010.

Marvel Team-Up 42 (February 1976)
"Visions of Hate!"
Bill Mantlo-Sal Buscema/Mike Esposito

Doug: Here we go -- part 2 of our four-parter set in Salem, Mass. Salem, Mass. in 1692, that is! We pick it up right where our tale finished, with Spidey, Wanda, and the Vision in the heart of a witch-hunting mob led by a crazed Cotton Mather.

Doug: The mob starts to get nasty, hitting the Vision in the face with a stone. Wanda unleashes a hex against the assailant, in the form of a swarm of locusts. Can there be any doubt now that she (and her companions, too) is a witch? The Vision going intangible and then immediately hard-as-a-diamond doesn't help matters, although it does preserve our heroes lives for a short time. However, Wanda is eventually grazed by a bullet, Spidey is overwhelmed by numbers, and the Vision is knocked out of commission by a power burst from Mather's cross.

Karen:Okay, I really have got to protest how easily Spidey went down to this mob of yahoos. This is a guy who has fought the Lizard, the Rhino, heck, even the Hulk, yet he gets knocked out by a bunch of pitchfork-wielding nuts? This was a case of Mr. Mantlo doing something for his convenience as a writer, not because it actually made sense in the story.

Doug: I'd have to agree with you after you cite those super-baddies. It was contrived, wasn't it?

Doug: When Spidey awakens, he finds himself shackled by the wrists and in a jail cell with other townsfolk. Wanda and the Vision are shackled across the room from him. He has a benefactor in John Proctor, who gives Spidey a lengthy discourse on the goings on in Salem over the past year which have brought them to this point. It's a tale of voodoo, witchcraft, false accuasations, and unfair/unquestioning justice. Spider-Man soon bursts his bounds, frees the Vision, and it's off they go to find out just what the heck is going on.

Karen: So... can we safely say that Bill Mantlo had probably done some reading about the Salem Witch incidents and was fascinated by them? Because we get a heaping three pages of history right in the middle of this story! This really seemed excessive to me.

Doug: I agree with you, as an adult. But, as a child of 10, I thought it added some necessary layers to the story. Let's face it -- you just don't get stuff like that in the 4th grade. Shoot, we were probably still making Pilgrim hats and construction paper Indian headdresses at that point!!

Doug: Spying a bright light in the distance, our two heroes go to investigate. Sneaking over, they see Cotton Mather in conversation with a dark figure atop a black horse, and holding a raven. The man in black identifies himself as the Dark-Rider. The Vision, seeing Mather as the man who hurt Wanda, lashes out at him. The Rider looses his raven against Spidey, and as the Wall-Crawler moves against it, it begins to grow. An eye-blast from the Vision kills it, and it reverts to its original size. As the Rider confronts Spider-Man, the scene is interupted by a new voice -- a voice that belongs to Dr. Doom!

Karen: The Vision seemed a little too emotional here, attacking Mather rather than waiting to find out more details about what's going on. Still, considering that Wanda was injured I can let that one go. The Dark Rider's reference to "people of this time" is a definite clue that he himself is not of that time period. The plot thickens. The appearance of Doom at the end was appropriately dramatic.

Doug: Yeah, you're right. I did a quick re-read on that balloon -- I guess I'd originally glossed over it thinking the Rider was referring to the colonists. But no, Spidey clearly says that "people of this time" means he and Vizh. Spoiling our next post on this story, did you notice in one panel where the Rider's face is partially shown that he has red hair? He sure doesn't look like that in the next two issues.

Doug: Mantlo has crafted a really fun story. The historical setting lends itself to a backdrop of adventure, the characters are fun, and each issue so far has had enough twists and surprise endings to keep the reader on the edge of his/her seat. I'm looking forward to the next issue!

BAB Classic: "That Cross-Wielding Fanatic Almost Killed Me" Marvel Team-Up 41

This post was originally published on 29 March 2010.

Marvel Team-Up 41 (January 1976)
"A Witch in Time!"
Bill Mantlo-Sal Buscema/Mike Esposito

Doug: For our next story examination, we're going back to the States' Bicentennial year for a four-parter out of the pages of Marvel Team-Up. This should be fun -- Spidey, the Scarlet Witch, the Vision, Doc Doom, Moondragon, and some Puritan wackos from the Salem Witch Trials. So, how about we dig in?

Doug: This one starts off a little spookily. Wanda is roaming around a dark, dank castle, apparently under the influence of some voices in her head. She tells that her troubles began back at Avengers Mansion, when she felt compelled to commandeer a quinjet and fly off to Europe -- specifically to Castle Doom in Latveria!

Karen: That castle made me smile - it could have been taken right out of an old Frankenstein movie!

Doug: That is exactly what I thought! I was reliving memories from my childhood spent watching the Universal Monsters movies!

Doug: Once in the castle, Wanda is drawn to the room that housed Dr. Doom's time platform. Rounding the corner, she is shocked at what greets her and raises her hands to get off a hex. The last we see of her shows her crumpled on the floor, and some very mysterious Pilgrim-looking feet standing over her.

Karen: This issue is another one which illustrates why there's always been confusion over what Wanda's power really is. She uses her 'hex power' for simple explosive blasts, and as a means of teleporting someone - and I'm sure we'll see even more variety over the following issues. Generally speaking, her power did whatever was needed for the plot to work!

Doug: Agreed. I am still not comfortable in calling Wanda's powers "magic", in spite of her training with Agatha Harkness. Anyway, that hex was a cry for help, rocketing back to New York. And, as fate would have it, who would be in the way of the big pink bolt but our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man! In spite of his efforts and protestations, he's drawn into it, to reappear beside Wanda in Doom's castle at the feet of Cotton Mather!

Doug: Mather busts on Spidey with bolts from a wooden cross, and implores Wanda to bust on him, too. She is conflicted as she battles against his control, but complies. She first blasts the floor below Spider-Man, dropping him into a hole, and then fires at the ceiling -- burying him beneath a mountain of rubble. Mather then operates the time platform, sending he and the Scarlet Witch back to 1692!

Karen: I always liked the way Doom's time platform worked - it just glides down over the user's body and they disappear. It seems more magical than technological, which I suppose works with Doom's background.

Doug: Yep, the time platform goes all the way back to the good Doctor's first appearance, in Fantastic Four #5! I checked it out, just to refresh my memory -- the first time it's used (to send the FF back in time to get Blackbeard the Pirate's treasure) the FF sort of just "zap" out of the present, but while back in time, they do pass through the platform, much as our pal Sal draws it here!

Doug: Bill Mantlo's words are solid -- he nails everyone's characterization, their voice. Cotton Mather is pretty typically crazed as a bad guy, and Spidey has his usual moments of banter. Sal Buscema and Mike Esposito show why they were so reliable in the Bronze Age. While their linework is nothing spectacular, it is for me quite comfortable -- there is a familiarity with Sal's pencils that gives me a smile as I recall reading this as a 10-year old.

Karen: Comfortable -that's a good way to describe the art. You always knew what you were getting with Sal. He was a very solid story-teller -you never had to decipher what was going on. I read Siege #3 yesterday, and although the art itself was nice, I felt like there was no drama, no sense of rhythm, to the story.

Doug: Once in Salem, Mather tethers Wanda on a platform as a crowd gathers. A pyre has been built at her feet, as the penalty for witchcraft is that for heresy -- to be burned alive. Back at Castle Doom, Spidey digs himself out of his "grave" and hightails it to the time platform. Seeing the date on the monitor as 1692, Spidey quickly deduces that the fanatical pilgrim is indeed Cotton Mather -- and that ain't good for the Witch!

Karen: The page with Spidey trying to crawl out of the rubble reminded me of Amazing Spider-Man #33, where he was in a similar, although more dramatic, situation.

Doug: Arriving in the proverbial nick-of-time, Spidey is actually upstaged in rescuing Wanda by none other than the Vision -- who we have no idea how he came to be 300 years in the past! But, as they say -- to be continued!

Sharing the Fight Together -- Champions 12

The Champions #12 (March 1977)(cover by Dave Cockrum)
"Did Someone Say... the Stranger?"
Bill Mantlo-John Byrne/Bob Layton

Doug: When I was a freshman in high school I split my football season oscillating between the "A" team and the "B" team. I was a bit undersized for the line positions as compared to a couple of the 14-year old brutes in my class, but I guess I must have done something right (periodically at least) to get called back up a time or two throughout those three months. I reflected on those days while reading our comic of the day. Let's face it -- we don't all have the same talents, body types, attitudes, etc. Each of those attributes goes into our ability to perform at a necessary level for the task at hand. So as I was reading I kept coming back to a question we've asked so many times on this blog: Why did some Bronze Age titles last longer than others?, why did some seemingly good ideas crash?, and so on. The Champions was a team I always thought should succeed. Throw two Avengers, two X-Men, and a popular Ghost Rider together and what's not to love? Shoot -- the marketing possibilities should have been inherent to the characters. But as we all know, this title didn't have whatever it was that could have elicited the "call up" to prime time status. In fact, as we get into today's review I'm going to posit that I am surprised it lasted as long as it did!

Karen: Well partner, you know I spent a lot of time on this question, when I wrote an article on The Champs for Back Issue! magazine a little while back (issue #65 to be precise). I think there were a number of reasons for their failure, but issues like this one, for reasons we'll get into, certainly didn't help improve the team's status.

Doug: To some extent I think we as readers just rationalized, "Well, these guys aren't the Avengers, or the Fantastic Four, or the X-Men..." and just accepted shoddy execution.

Doug: I chose this issue rather than the preceding book in large part to the throwdown that dominates the first half of the story. Having purchased this off the spinner rack as an almost-11-year old, the visuals were striking to me -- giant on the cover (check) and on the splash page two more giants (check and take my money, please). I've told of my affinity for Hank Pym and for Colossal Boy several times -- I don't know why, but I just think visually giants are the best part of any comic they're in. Maybe you're in the "everything's better with gorillas" camp. Me = giants. So as I'm coming back to this as a 49-year old (I read this while out in Washington DC a few weeks ago), I'm pretty eager to renew my sense of wonderment. Yeah, no -- that didn't happen. So what went wrong? Shall we?

Apologies for the small scanner bed -- but a cool Byrne/Layton 2-page splash nonetheless!

Doug: We open on the roof of a building in Los Angeles, hometown of the Champions. Black Goliath, who showed up as a guest-star in #11 is slugging it out with the Stilt-Man. THE STILT-MAN!! Has the hair on your neck laid back down yet? Me, too. Let's face it -- if we're reading an issue of Daredevil, OK. Give me the Stilt-Man for a one-issue filler until we get the next plot of the Owl or the Purple Man shows up again. But against Black Goliath? Now we're back to another previous conversation -- why didn't that character take off? Great costume (well, if the abs window had been closed... Carol Danvers got it taken care of with her own costume), as I've said - great powerset, association with the Avengers via Hank Pym, and on and on. But if you're going to reduce the character to relying solely on his size and stripping away what made him a recurring character in the Avengers in the first place -- his brains -- then of course he's not going to last long. He's not the Hulk, after all! And let me get a beef off my chest right from the start: the Stilt-Man is a normal-sized guy with hydraulic lifts that telescope his "legs" to allow him to burgle offices and apartments in high places. That's about it. He himself does not grow. But apparently artists John Byrne and Bob Layton didn't get that memo, because throughout the story Stilt-Man is proportionally larger than he should be. So while the splash page looks cool, it's really not. Or it shouldn't be. One punch from BG and we should be moving on to some other conflict. But no...

Karen: Black Goliath was one of those characters I always enjoyed seeing whenever he popped up, but he certainly was never utilized to his full potential. So that made him a perfect fit for the Champions. I agree with you about how annoying it is to see Stilt Man drawn as a giant - did no one look at old comics?

Doug: It does make one wonder. Maybe an issue like that could be due to all the editorial instability at Marvel in the mid-70s?

Doug: So the Champs arrive, and while the pictures are pretty, this quickly devolves into one of the most frustrating things about team books: Why don't teams fight as teams? Here the Champions attack singly... over and over again. Darkstar, Iceman, Hercules, Black Goliath, Angel, Ghost Rider all fail in succession and it's almost comical. Against the Stilt-Man if you didn't catch that earlier. And the big guy gets away. From all of them. Of course Herc wants to go after him, but BG says no way -- it's his fight and he'll end it. So off he goes in pursuit while the team heads back to their HQ. Black Widow had gone ahead of them and had found a Ms. Reggie Claybourne, a woman in possession of an item wanted by the Stilt-Man. Reggie relates a tale (in what passes for "urban language" in Bronze Age comics) of how her husband had come into possession of a glowing box of something after having been assigned the task by some underworld types. He stole the deal from Stark International, and it doesn't look good. So Herc swears the lady will have their aid, but before they can make the next move the wall begins to glow!

Karen: The Stilt-Man. The Champions couldn't even beat the Stilt-Man. They spend six pages trying to stop him, and fail miserably. Honestly, any single one of them should have been able to beat him, and certainly he should be no problem at all for Hercules. But no, Stilt-Man actually kicks Hercules away! So even an Olympian God becomes a loser when he hangs around with these guys! And I think that sort of exemplifies one of the biggest problems with the book - the team never felt like they were big league, despite having some major players. 

Doug: I fully agree. Hey, and when you think about the battle that begins this book, I'm wondering if the 2-page splash (so three full-pagers to begin the story) was in large part because the plot was so weak?

Doug: Shortly, as the radiant area continued to enlarge, the Stranger of all people steps through! Say, you ever get a load of that fella's togs? Pretty big dude, and pretty awful outfit. Strip away that green belt and whatever-it-is, and he's wearing a big red Onesie. Pretty scary. So he's not happy, says he doesn't have much time, neither does the universe, and he needs what Reggie Claybourne has. Yeah, right. Darkstar again attacks first (did we Americans have a stereotype of Russians as headstrong? Because Natasha always remains pretty calm, at least in this book), and gets eye-zapped. Bobby's next -- nothing. Natasha and Johnny -- hand-zapped, and then Blaze is telekinetically launched across town. Darkstar is able to save him from taking the ultimate header, but they're away from the fray for the time being. Herc picks up some machinery a la Ben Grimm, only to have it melted by the Stranger's soul gem. While all this is going on, the telly is on and showing news reports of Black Goliath's battle against the Stilt-Man. I suppose it's a nice juxtaposition of two fights, but again -- the first one should be over, and this new one is progressing so much the same way that I began to think the Champs would never win a battle. No wonder they got cancelled!

Karen: While the Stranger is certainly an improvement on the Stilt-Man, he really moves the Champs out of the realm of being the "team for the common man" as they had proclaimed themselves. Although you could argue that the Stranger is an old foe of Angel and Iceman, since the two faced him in his first appearance way back in X-Men #11 in May 1965. Regardless, I guess I'd rather see the big shorts-wearing alien than Stilt-Man. "Onesie" - nice one Doug. What was it with Kirby and giving all these giant, near-omnipotent beings leg-baring outfits?

Doug: I'm going to defer to a psychoanalyst on that last question. Too many possibilities racing through my mind right now!

Doug: So while all these shenanigans are taking place, Reggie notices that the glowing box that was in the paper bag is no longer there but has in fact been replaced by what looks like an alien igloo. And it's glowing and growing quickly. Reggie is swallowed by the thing while she cries for help. The Stranger turns with a concerned look just as the Angel pummels him right in the kisser. Ah, impetuous Warren Worthington. The Stranger grabs him angrily, then makes him listen to the history of this menace he calls the Null-Life Bomb. The Stranger had brought it to Earth to pass judgment on our planet, but was thwarted by the Silver Surfer. During that battle, an earthman had sacrificed his own life to disarm the bomb. The Stranger left, contemplating whether or not he'd judged humanity too harshly. But only days ago he sensed that the bomb had become active again, hence his journey to Earth to claim it. The Null-Life Bomb is basically a mechanical black hole, growing and swallowing all life in its path. The Stranger remarks that it is over -- the one thing in the universe that can stop the bomb cannot be obtained. Natasha, the most sensible of her teammates, says wait -- if there's a way at all it needs to be found. The Stranger, in his best "to be continued" manner, says that there is one way, but that it will be virtually impossible. And then, prior to departing our plane, he teleports six Champions to the realm of one Kamo Tharn (last seen in Thor #235). Herc warns everyone to be on guard, because this is going to get rough.

Karen: There are a couple of things that I liked in this second half of the issue. When I first read this story, I thought the idea of the Null-Life Bomb was pretty cool. And it's still kinda neat today. I also was intrigued by Johnny Blaze's interest in Black Widow, and if that could go anywhere, seeing as how he had his own title and presumably his own love interest in it. But I have to agree, too much recap, the interspersed scenes with Goliath were ho-hum (if anything, how long it took him to defeat Stilt-Man only made him look worse), and the last page, revealing next issue's big threat to be a grade C Thor villain nobody cared about in the first place, was less than thrilling.

Doug: I know Bill Mantlo is a respected scribe among our readership. His work on the Champions was certainly a step forward from what had come before in that mag. But this issue's dilemmas, and next issue's conclusion, certainly could have been combined and fit into one 20-page story. It's one thing if the storytellers create tension, giving the reader a sense of dismay in regard to the well-being of our protagonists. I never felt that. The first half of this tale instead ended up being really frustrating for me because I just knew if this were "real" we most likely wouldn't have even read about the Stilt-Man battle in the papers. It should not have been worth mentioning. But instead I spent 10 minutes of my time on it. Jeez, I sound grumpy. I'm really not, and I don't usually dwell on things like the query "Does it hold up?" because I normally don't know what that means. But this book's the poster child for what we loved as kids and read later as adults and have a long pause to wonder why in the world we'd have liked it in the first place. Again, the art is nice (aside from my quibble about Stilt-Man's body size) and moves the reader through the plot. But the plot itself needed some work.

Karen: I don't know if you're grumpy so much as frustrated. I've always had a sort of love/hate feeling for The Champions, because I wanted to like it more than I did. It seemed like it was starting to come along when Mantlo came aboard and we had fairly consistent artwork from Byrne (although I liked Bob Hall as well). Sometimes you can throw a hodge-podge of characters together and make a team book work; and sometimes, you can't. The lack of any real reason for their existence, coupled with less than sensational stories, left me always wanting more. I think the Champions stories and ideas I had in my head were (and are) what made me enthusiastic about the book.

Doug: This book (and title) should have been better than it was...

Guest Reviews - Arc of Triumph? The Rocket Raccoon Mini-Series

Doug: Welcome to another work week! And what better way to face the day (well, the next five days actually!) than with comics! Our pal from the Great White North, Mike W. is here to offer his critique of the 1985 Rocket Raccoon mini-series. I've not read it, although a few times I've been tempted to purchase the digest-sized version that reprints the series. So if you're like me, after reading Mike's thoughts -- what do you think?

M.S. Wilson: I thought I’d tackle something a bit different this time, namely the Rocket Raccoon miniseries from 1985. This was one of the few Marvel miniseries that I actually bought back then...along with Jack of Hearts (which I don’t remember at all), West Coast Avengers (which was great ... hmm, maybe I should review that next?), and Secret Wars. Miniseries like Falcon, Gargoyle, Iceman, and Hercules didn’t really appeal to me. The weird thing is, I wasn’t actually familiar with Rocket Raccoon at the time; he first appeared in 1976 in Marvel Preview #7 (by Bill Mantlo and Keith Giffen), which I’ve never read. He popped up again in Incredible Hulk #271 (by Mantlo and Sal Buscema), which I also hadn’t read at the time. So why did I buy all four issues of Rocket’s miniseries when it came out? I guess I just thought the idea of a talking raccoon was cool. We’ll see how well it holds up, bearing in mind the character is written differently here than in the Guardians of the Galaxy comic three decades later (where I believe he’s more intense...almost OCD at times). This also isn’t the Rocket from the movie...at least I assume it’s not...I haven’t actually seen the Guardians movie. Now that I’ve destroyed all my geek credibility, let’s get on with the review, shall we?

 Rocket Raccoon #1 (May 1985)

“Animal Crackers” 

Written by Bill Mantlo. Art by Mike Mignola and Al Gordon

The story opens in a sector of space known as the Keystone Quadrant, on Spacewheel, one of those old-fashioned space stations shaped like...well, like a wheel, of course. On Spacewheel, the chief Toymaker (an iguana) labors to finish some toys for his employer, Lord Dyvyne. He’s interrupted by a Killer Clown, a robotic assassin that looks like the Joker and Pennywise had a child. The clown works for Lord Dyvyne’s rival, another toy mogul named Judson Jakes. The clown guns down Dyvyne’s chief toymaker, then flees, fighting his way through chimp sentries until he’s finally blasted by a gang of rabbit mercenaries led by Blackjack O’Hare (who doesn’t really look like Bucky O’Hare, but I keep mixing up their names anyway). Lord Dyvyne (a snake) shows up and realizes that Jakes sent the Killer Clown to kill his toymaker in order to start a trade war. Dyvyne decides to call in the furry arm of the law...Rocket Raccoon!

We find Rocket on the planet below, known as Halfworld. He’s reading a book beside a waterfall while his girlfriend (an otter named Lylla)  and her uncle Wal Rus (three guesses what animal he is) frolic in the water. Rocket is absorbed in his book, the Halfworld Bible, which is written in an obscure code (or maybe just a different language...the book is depicted later as being written in English, but that may just be for the convenience of readers). This scene is a little weird...all the animals wear clothes, but Lylla takes her clothes off here to go swimming, so even though she’s covered in fur, I guess she’s sort of naked? It gets Rocket’s attention anyway, and he’s soon swimming with her. She invites Wal to join them (?!) but he suns himself and changes his prosthetic tusks with the help of some robotic arms in his chest pouch. They’re interrupted by the Keystone Kops, Rocket’s human deputies, which freaks Lylla out, so I guess she is naked...at least as animals go. The Kops tell Rocket about the assassination of Dyvyne’s chief toymaker and Rocket sends them back to their previous assignment (tracking the Snail Gang to their lair, which—according to Wal—should take them the next century and a half). It turns out that the humans on Halfworld are all insane; the animals look after them and provide them with entertainment, while the toymakers provide toys to keep the Loonies (as the humans are known) distracted and happy. Rocket realizes that a trade war between the top two toymakers could stop the flow of toys and jeopardize the Loonies’ carefree lives.

Rocket returns the Halfworld Bible to its shrine and watches the Loonies perform a ritual (involving straitjackets and what looks like a really weird form of breakdancing). We learn that the Bible was written long ago by the Shrinks and no one has ever managed to decipher it. Rocket meeets with Lord Dyvyne, who accuses Judson Jakes of assassinating his chief toysmith, displaying the Killer Clown’s head as proof. Apparently Jakes has a monopoly on the manufacture of Killer Clowns. Mantlo tends to use a lot of exposition, some of which falls squarely into “as you know, Bob” territory. We learn that Lylla’s parents owned Mayhem Mekaniks (Judson Jakes' toy company) and Lylla will inherit it when she comes of age. Jakes is her guardian until then, which is why he’s running the company. I can’t help wondering why Wal Rus isn’t Lylla’s guardian, if her parents are dead and he’s her uncle. Anyway, Dyvyne wants to marry Lylla (for her toy company, of course), but she only has eyes for Rocket.

Rocket and Wal go to see Judson Jakes in their spaceship, the Rakk N’ Ruin. On the way, we get some more exposition on the status quo: Halfworld is (appropriately) divided in half—the animals live in the forested half, providing protection and companionship to the Loonies, while robots live on the other half of the planet, where they build ceaselessly. The robots provide toys for the Loonies (apparently Dyvyne and Jakes design the toys and sell them to the Loonies, but the robots do the actual building), appendages for the animals (like Wal’s prosthetic tusks), and the robots are also constructing a gigantic humanoid-shaped starship. Nobody can figure out why the robots are building this starship, since an energy field around the Keystone Quadrant prevents anyone from entering or leaving (except the Hulk, who’s mentioned here). When Rocket and Wal arrive at Mayhem Mekaniks, sited in the desolate border between the animal and robot halves of the world, they fly the ship down into a hollow crater so they can approach from underground. Lord Dyvyne watches on a monitor (which not only contains the image from the previous panel, but the caption as well...a nice meta-moment). Dyvyne realizes Lylla is unprotected, so he sends Blackjack O’Hare to get her.

Back at Cuckoo’s Nest (as the Loonies’ home is known), they prepare for their Great Masquerade as Lylla looks on. The Loonies explain that the Great Masquerade is an annual tradition, in which they get to dress and act like whomever they think they truly are. According to the ancient wisdom of the Shrinks, this is supposed to be therapeutic, though I can’t help wondering where this wisdom comes from...if their Bible is indecipherable, it must have been passed down orally, but it’s remarkable that the Loonies were able to remember it. A cloaked figure enters the shrine where the Bible is kept and gloats to himself that HE alone has cracked the code and read the sacred text. He then substitutes a different book and leaves. Lylla spots him and thinks he looks familiar, but it’s not until the Loonies discover the book switch that she puts two and two together: the mysterious figure is...Uncle Pyko! (Yeah, I don’t know who that is either. It turns out he works as Judson Jakes’ chief toy designer, but we don’t find that out for a while.) Before Lylla can go after him, she’s grabbed by Blackjack O’Hare.

Rocket and Wal fly underground toward Judson Jakes’ headquarters. Jakes is a mole, so there are tunnels galore, holding supplies, assorted junk, and creepy deactivated clowns. TheRakk N’ Ruin is suddenly grabbed by a giant pair of nutcrackers (yes, you read that right, nutcrackers). Rocket heads out to blast them loose and is confronted by a posse of Killer Clowns called the Psycho Circus (which I think was the name of a KISS album), as well as another meta-reference when Jakes responds directly to one of the panel captions. Rocket fights off the clowns and blasts the nutcrackers, giving Wal a chance to repair the  ship (although Wal gets in on the action by swapping his tool tusks for “more martial molars” and blasting some Killer Clowns). Jakes reveals that he started the trade war on purpose and that he also wants to marry Lylla to get control of her toy company once and for all.

Rocket finishes off the clowns, but before he can go after Jakes, they’re interrupted by Uncle Pyko, who’s mad at Jakes for letting the toys he designed get blown away. Pyko reveals that Blackjack O’Hare has Lylla (though I’m not sure how Pyko found this out so quickly). As soon as O’Hare takes Lylla back to Lord Dyvyne, he intends to marry her and gain control of her toy company. I'm not sure why these guys waited so long to go after Lylla...unless it's because she doesn't inherit the company until she "comes of age", and maybe they can't marry her until then? Jakes exhorts Rocket to save Lylla (which he would’ve done anyway...she IS his girlfriend, after all) and in the last panel, we get a glimpse of the more intense Rocket Raccoon from a few decades later.

 Rocket Raccoon #2 (June 1985)

"The Masque of the Red Breath" 

Bill Mantlo-Mike Mignola/Al Gordon

Rocket and Wal Rus hunt through the Loonies' Masquerade for Lylla and her captor, Blackjack O'Hare. We get some more exposition, recapping the first issue. Wal scans for Lylla, but she and O'Hare are in one of the parade floats, heavily shielded. Rocket is attacked by one of Judson Jakes' Killer Clowns and by a Drakillar (which seems to be some kind of giant space bat) sent by Lord Dyvyne. I get why Dyvyne is after Rocket's hide, but I'm not sure why Jakes wants him dead. At the end of last issue, Jakes was badgering (or moling, I suppose) Rocket to get Lylla back for him, so it seems strange for him to send the Drakillar after Rocket. Maybe Jakes realized he'd never be able to marry Lylla while Rocket was still alive, and figured now was as good a time as any to get rid of him ... but you'd think he'd have waited until Rocket got Lylla back from O'Hare. Speaking of O'Hare, he was sent by Lord Dyvyne to kidnap Lylla so Dyvyne could marry her, but he decides to keep Lylla for himself. Who woulda thought a mercenary couldn't be trusted? Lord Dyvyne gets mad and summons the Red Breath, which is a red cloud of vapour (I guess?) that erases everything it touches. Dyvyne sends the Red Breath after his "enemies"-- which at this point should include O'Hare and Judson Jakes -- but the Breath seems to lock in on Rocket for some reason. Dyvyne also mentions that the Breath was created by his chief toymaker (the one who was gunned down at the beginning of issue #1), but I'm wondering what kind of toymaker could design something like that? And how was it "manufactured"?

Rocket manages to use his two foes against each other...the Drakillar is blown up by the clown's grenades and then Rocket shoots the clown. Wal picks him up and, using the superior scanners on the ship, they track O'Hare and Lylla. The Red Breath arrives on the planet and heads after them. There's a panel where the caption reads "...the Red Breath appears, consuming even the sound effects of its passage." The panel shows the sound effect (SHREEOOM), but it's not being "consumed" by the Breath; I assume this was meant to be another meta-reference, but some wires got crossed somewhere. Too bad... it would've been a funny effect. At Mayhem Mekaniks, Judson Jakes' headquarters, Jakes is mad at his chief toy designer, Uncle Pyko. It seems Pyko has been studying the Halfworld Bible again, instead of making toys (or weapons) for Jakes. Pyko knows Jakes is crazy (which Jakes doesn't really dispute), but he gives Jakes his newest inventions to shut him up ... Vacu-sleds, which can suck up anything in their path.

Back at Cuckoo's Nest, Rocket and Wal crash the Loonies Masquerade to find O'Hare and Lylla, followed closely by the Red Breath which starts erasing Loonies. Rocket, knowing his duty is to protect the Loonies, fights the Breath and loses one of his rocket skates. He refers to the Red Breath as a "nightmarish kneaded eraser", which I think is one of those malleable erasers that artists like because they don't leave crumbs all over the page. Meanwhile, Wal catches up with Blackjack and his mercenaries and starts blasting bunnies. When Wal and Blackjack square off, Lylla is worried her uncle will get hurt, so she agrees to marry O'Hare. I'm not sure if that was meant to distract him or if it was sincere. Lylla's characterization is inconsistent: most of the time she's the damsel in distress, but every now and then she seems capable of taking care of herself. She actually punches out one of her captors here, but then she turns right back into a shrinking violet. Luckily (or not) it doesn't matter, because a bunch of Killer Clowns riding Vacu-sleds come crashing through the window. (I'm pretty sure that's the only time in my life I've ever used THAT sentence.) All of O'Hare's mercenaries get vacuumed up, so he (predictably) changes sides. The three of them run, pursued by the clowns, and end up in the main room where Rocket is trapped against the wall by the Red Breath. Lylla gets really annoying here, as she basically scolds Rocket for not flying to safety. O'Hare jumps down, drawing the Vacu-sled-mounted clowns after him, and the diversion is enough for Rocket to fly them both out safely. The sleds suck up the Red Breath, and the Breath destroys the sleds (and their riders), until a perfect equilibrium is reached ... the Breath disappears and the sleds are all consumed. Conveniently, all the Loonies who were erased by the Breath pop back into existence (with no explanation as to why the Vacu-sleds don't reappear too). Rocket decides they need to fight a guerilla war against the two toymakers. O'Hare joins them; Rocket doesn't seem to trust him, but says his knowledge of hiding places and other shady stuff could come in handy. So they set off to take the fight to their enemies.

Rocket Raccoon #3 (July 1985)

"The Book of Revelations" 

Bill Mantlo-Mike Mignola/Al Milgrom

This issue opens with Rocket, Wal, Lylla, and Blackjack O'Hare caught between the forces of their two enemies. Lord Dyvyne's simian soldiers man a Chimp Blimp (which spits explosive bananas) and Judson Jakes' Killer Clowns man Prank Tanks, firing on the ship from the ground. O'Hare (after making an obvious joke about a "gorilla war") leads them to a hollow crater that he claims will be a way to escape. They sacrifice their ship and bail out, tumbling down into the crater and landing far underground. O'Hare again shows his worth by summoning the Wild Worms, which live in the tunnel. The worms come equipped with saddles and Rocket and his friends ride them through the tunnels. Apparently they're called "wild worms" because the saddles straddle their pleasure centers, so having riders drives them wild (yeah, it doesn't make much sense to me either), but I'm wondering who saddled them in the first place? How did anyone figure out the thing about the pleasure centers? You know what, I don't think I want to know.

Elsewhere, Jakes and Dyvyne agree to cooperate to eliminate their foes, although their forces seemed to be already cooperating earlier. They also agree to split profits from selling toys to the Loonies 50/50, but it's obvious that neither one really trusts the other. They aren't quite certain if Rocket and the others are dead, since no bodies were recovered from the wrecked ship or the crater. Lylla is again referred to as nothing more than a means to an end ... in fact, they speculate that if Lylla had control of Mayhem Mekaniks, she'd put Rocket in charge and he'd give toys to the Loonies for free. Apparently it never entered their heads (or Mantlo's for that matter) that Lylla could run the company herself. She's just as altruistic as Rocket, so she'd probably give the toys away too, but everyone seems to assume she'd need her boyfriend to do it for her.

Anyway, O'Hare leads Rocket and the others to the robot side of Halfworld. O'Hare says he's familiar with the place because he sometimes comes there to steal toys that have been built by the robots; I'm not sure if this means he's stealing them so his employer doesn't have to pay for them, or if he's stealing from the competition...he is a mercenary, so I guess he works for whomever pays him. O'Hare takes them to a cantina (and yes, it's full of creatures). They run into Uncle Pyko, Judson Jakes' head toymaker, and he tells them he's cracked the indecipherable Halfworld Bible. We then get a lot of exposition explaining the history of Halfworld, as Blackjack O'Hare sneaks away (he's probably bored by the history lesson too). Actually, the exposition is needed, I guess. We learn that the Loonies were incurably insane people brought to the planet by their psychiatrists to cure them, since they were unwelcome at home. The animals were originally pets, and the robots were used to take care of all the day to day stuff, so the shrinks could concentrate on their patients.  The shrinks were recalled, leaving the animals and robots to look after the Loonies, and erecting the force field around the Quadrant to protect the Loonies ... apparently whatever planet they came from had an irrational hatred of crazy people.  The Bible ends there, but Uncle Pyko speculates that the robots grew tired of ministering to the irrational humans, so they genetically engineered the animals into sentience so they could do it. The robots then retreated to their side of the planet to make toys, tools, and the giant humanoid-shaped starship. Rocket is understandably chagrined--he's been searching for some meaning in Halfworld's mixed-up society, but now he's found out that his raison d'etre (or that of his ancestors) was to be a pet for a bunch of crazy humans.

Before Rocket can have a full-blown existential crisis, O'Hare returns with a multi-species gang of mercenaries he calls the Awful Eight. (He also makes a John Updike reference, which I find strange rather than funny.) O'Hare wants to get back into Lord Dyvyne's good graces by bringing Lylla to him. A big shootout starts (it is a cantina, after all!) and Lylla has one of her rare moments of agency when she decks O'Hare. Rocket and the others (including Pyko) whittle the Awful Eight down to the Terrible Trio, and then take off. Pyko makes a reference to them "running low on powder and ammo", but they're using energy weapons, so that doesn't make sense. Pyko takes them to the Assembly building to meet the Head Robot (literally...it's a giant robotic head). Pyko says the Halfworld Bible can be fed to the Head Robot and it'll be able to manufacture a toy that might be therapeutic...maybe even cure the Loonies of their madness. He leaves the choice up to Rocket, who is torn: he's just found out that he's basically a glorified pet, but his mission has always been to help the Loonies in any way possible. Being the heroic raccoon we all know he is, he decides to do what's best for the Loonies, even though their being cured would leave the animals with no real purpose. Rocket feeds the Bible to the Head Robot and the assembly line soon spits out...some weird-looking helmets? How are those supposed to help the Loonies? Maybe we'll find out in the final issue.

Rocket Raccoon #4 (August 1985)

"The Age of Enlightenment"  

Bill Mantlo-Mike Mignola/Al Gordon

This issue opens with Rocket, Wal, Lylla, and Uncle Pyko (plus a sassy robot horse) travelling around and distributing the helmets from last issue to the Loonies. The set-up is kind of like an old medicine show, with Rocket and company doing weird skits and puppet shows to demonstrate the helmets. I guess they're doing it this way so Lord Dyvyne and Judson Jakes have a harder time tracking them down. Unfortunately, one of Jakes' Killer Clowns is disguised as a Loony, so word gets back to the two toy moguls pretty quickly. The helmets are said to make people "think more clearly", which should cure the Loonies of their insanity. When Rocket puts on a helmet, it makes him realize the depths of his feelings for Lylla, and he lays a big smooch on her. We also get some more expository dialogue from Uncle Pyko, recapping the first three issues. By the time all the helmets have been distributed, silence reigns in the Cuckoo's Nest. Rocket and his friends are worried at first, but Pyko explains that the Loonies are doing something they'd never really done before -- thinking.

Lord Dyvyne and Judson Jakes join in an all out attack against Rocket. The heroes are hard-pressed, but the robot horse goes for reinforcements. We get another glimpse of the later, more intense Rocket Raccoon as he goes wild during the fight. In spite of that, he's almost overwhelmed, but is saved at the last minute by Blackjack O'Hare, who shows up out of nowhere like Han Solo at the end of Star Wars. It's a cool moment, but I'm not really sure what Blackjack's motivation is supposed to be here. He says "I guess I finally realized that there wouldn't be much future for a merciless mercenary if I let Jakes and Dyvyne skin you!"...which doesn't really explain anything. I guess we're just supposed to accept that O'Hare isn't as bad as he seems, despite plenty of evidence to the contrary.

As the heroes prepare to make a last stand, the fight is interrupted by the giant humanoid-shaped starship, which lands nearby. Dozens of cured Loonies pour out of the ship and join the fight, tipping things in favour of the good guys. There's a scene (which I'm assuming was done on purpose) that looks like a reverse Planet of the Apes reference where humans are catching the ape soldiers in nets. Jakes and Dyvyne flee on a Drakillar, pursued by Rocket. The Drakillar gets tired of them arguing, so it umps them onto a garbage heap. I'm not sure if they're meant to be dead here, but they certainly look dead. Now that the Loonies are cured of their madness, they want the animals to stay and help them remake the planet. Some animals do decide to stay (like Uncle Pyko, since he makes toys not for profit, but for the sheer enjoyment of it), but most of the animals and the robots decide to leave on the giant starship. The robots have figured out a way to deactivate the force field around the Quadrant, so the whole galaxy is open for them to explore. The last panel shows Rocket, Wal, Lylla, and O'Hare setting out for new adventures...which, as far as I can tell, didn't really materialize. Rocket showed up a few years later in Quasar #15 and Sensational She-Hulk #44-46, but the others never appeared again. I'm not sure if any explanation was ever given as to what happened to them.

This series was pretty good overall, but there were a few things that jumped out at me this time around. Mantlo uses a lot of expository dialogue to convey information. I know sometimes there's no choice, but it can get tedious. There were also a few places where the story seems to jump ahead in order to advance the plot, and there were a couple of places where dialogue seems to be coming from the wrong person. Also Dyvyne and Jakes really didn't have any reason to be bad guys; supposedly, they were greedy, but it seemed like they were just there to give Rocket someone to fight against. I also can't help wondering about the larger story. The Loonies look human (and are referred to as humans), but where did they come from originally? They can't be from Earth, because the technology level is too advanced, so I guess they're from some kind of parallel earth? Also, I'm not sure how they existed on the planet for so long; the story said they'd been there for hundreds of years, and after the first (insane) generation died off, their kids (and their kids, and so on) were all insane too, just from being raised in that environment, by insane parents. So, nurture over nature, I guess? But it makes me wonder how they even procreated...did the robots teach them? Maybe some questions are better left unanswered. On the positive side, there was some good action, some humourous scenes, and the art was great. I normally find Mike Mignola's art a bit too weird for my taste, but it fits perfectly here. As we all know, Rocket went on to become something of a star with the Guardians of the Galaxy, but it's interesting to see his (somewhat) humble beginnings here.