Blame Andy Roddick

.

There are two movies starring boobs-model and Roddick-polisher Brooklyn Decker out today. Two. I've already found several opportunities to give the Mayans a shout-out this year, but this might just be the strongest one yet. Good grief. Anyway we should at least get to stare at Andy half-naked in exchange for her sudden cinematic omnipresence, so that's what I'm doing.

I also appreciate the fact that Rich Juzwiak's review of Battleship at Gawker turns her name into a positively filthy sex act. It needed to be done. Anyway head over to Celebrity Beehive and I'll do some more rambling of this sort about this weekend's movies. Hooray rambling! Has anyone seen The Dictator yet? It's really the only thing out right now I have any desire to catch. Anna Faris forever!

.

Gargantuan Gratuitousness Catch All Post

.

Second things first, after sharing that Magic Mike photo.... well actually it's more like second through thirty-fourth things really. Since there was a lot of the gratuitous stuff we missed not having posted for a couple of weeks over the holidays - like that bicep-ariffic pic of Andrew Garfield in The Amazing Spider-Man up top - it seems best just to toss it all out at once, just to make sure it doesn't slip through the cracks. Speaking of cracks...

... so this NSFW picture of supposedly Tom Hardy has been making the rounds, and nobody's sure if it's real or not. It could be real because he took lots of very real very slutty pictures of himself of this sort before (example one! example two!). It could be fake because of a lack of tattoos and... well basically, because we just couldn't be this fortunate could we? That Jon Hamm picture turned out to be fake, after all. But just like that Jon Hamm picture, it's already a moot point to me - it's as good as real, so that's good enough! Plenty so.

Next stop, infinitely less (delightfully) sordid...

... there are a couple new pictures of Ewan McGregor looking dapper and adorable in GQ. Consider them a palate cleanser.

A lot of guys spent some of their holidays at the beach - so did I, but not the warm swimming in sort - and we've got the pictures to prove it. Like Liam Hemsworth...

... and Andy Roddick...

... and Ian Thorpe...

... and Enrique Iglesias...

... and, uh... Penn Badgley...

... plus his afro. Good grief. This calls for another palate cleanser! Here's the first (I think?) poster for Man of Steel with Henry Cavill looking very stern as the big Supes...

Let's see, what else... oh, I took this picture off of NY1 the other morning, it's Bobby Cannavale in whatever play he's in right now:

Okay I think that is it. Or if it's not, we can just 

post the other ones later, I'm sure you won't mind.

.

Smacking It Around With Andy Roddick

.

.

.

That's what I'd like to be doing today. (via)

Have You Caught Bieber Fever?

.

Warning! Serious neuropsychiatric events including, but not limited to, depression, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt and completed suicide have been reported in patients with Bieber Fever. All patients being treated for Bieber Fever should be observed for neuropsychiatric symptoms including changes in behavior, hostility, agitation, depressed mood, and suicide-related events, including ideation, behavior, and attempted suicide. These symptoms, as well as worsening of pre-existing psychiatric illness and completed suicide, have been reported in some patients attempting to quit the Bieber. Bieber Fever may cause an increased risk of serious cardiovascular thrombotic events, myocardial infarction, and stroke, which can be fatal. Get emergency medical help if you have any signs of an allergic Bieb-reaction: hives; difficulty breathing; swelling of your face, lips, tongue, hair-do, or throat.

Stop looking at Bieber and call your doctor at once if you have any of these serious side effects:

• fast, pounding, or uneven heartbeats;
• feeling like you might pass out;
• fever, sore throat, and headache with a severe blistering, peeling, and red skin rash;
• aggression, restlessness, hallucinations, unusual behavior, or motor tics (muscle twitches);
• easy bruising, purple spots on your skin; or
• dangerously high blood pressure (severe headache, blurred vision, buzzing in your ears, anxiety, confusion, chest pain, shortness of breath, uneven heartbeats, seizure).

Less serious side effects may include:

• stomach pain, nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite;
• vision problems, dizziness, mild headache;
• sweating, mild skin rash;
• numbness, tingling, or cold feeling in your hands or feet;
• nervous feeling, sleep problems (insomnia); or
• weight loss.

This is not a complete list of side effects and others may occur. Tell your doctor about any unusual or bothersome Biebs side effect. You may report side effects to the FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088.

Or you could just read my new piece on this weekend's
new movie releases over at Celebrity Beehive.
It's good for your health!

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... David Beckham's calf handler. (via)
How does one get these jobs anyway?

Reminds me of Andy Roddick's ass massager.... which I suddenly realize is a video I've never posted! What the heck? How is that possible? The following is one of the greatest things ever captured on film. Prepare yourselves.

.

.

.
I should've studied sports medicine dammit.
.

When I Said "Blow It, Andy"...

.

... this is not exactly what I had in mind.
.

Good Morning, World

.
.

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... beach bumming it with Andy Roddick. (via)
(emphasis on "bum")

.

Andy Roddick Three Times

.

Andy won something or other this weekend,
so congrats to him! (more pics at JJ)
.

The Great Gratuity Round-Up

There've been several good gratuitous moments of some menfolk this week that I haven't yet gotten around to posting, so instead of doing a few separate posts I thought to myself, "Hey self. How you doin this morning? I know, I'm tired too. And all these people are jackasses up in my face. What's that? Yes, I ought to just do one post with a few fellows in it. That'll perk me right up. Good thinking!" So yeah. This is my brain on me. But here are some attractive gentlemen to distract us from my insanity. For a moment.

First up, I know my crush on John Mayer is bad for me. I know it, and yet I also know he has large pillowy lips and is very very tall. And then I forget the rest (like for example the ridiculous nonsense he spews in the interview with Rolling Stone that these photos are from. I have no idea what he's even talking about half the time. But he talks about buttholes and touching himself and oh there are his pillowy lips and I'm lost again.)


I feel no such guilt over my crush on Andy Roddick. Especially since he's actually been getting even better, tennis-wise, these past couple years. Go Andy! (via)


And lastly, it's Hugh Jackman in the water again (via). Could such thing ever elicit a yawn, though? Never.

.

Also, This

Andy Roddick posted this picture to his Twitter over the break,

and far be it from me not to appreciate it here. Mmm appreciate...

.

Andy

.

Andy.

(via)
.

Alright, Twitter Has Proven Its Worth

No, not because of all that Iranian "The Revolution Will Be Tweeted" stuff (although I guess that was nice and all), but rather because Andy Roddick himself used his Twitter account to share this:

Technology is our friend.

(follow me on Twitter here)
.

Andy's Unmentionables

.

I can't quite tell just what those bits of laundry are that Andy Roddick's seen washing and drying above (via), but that's not going to stop me from believing with every fiber of my being that he's giving us a glimpse of his drawers there. I see Wimbledon, I see the French Open...
.

Work It Out, Andy

.

(via)

.