Happy 51, Patrick Wilson

There is something just right about Patrick Wilson being born on the third of July -- for as long as he's been acting he's been the suburban dream of the American Suburban Dad, for good or evil -- whether it be fighting demons in the Insidious and Conjuring movies or surreptitiously slamming Kate Winslet against the downstairs dryer in Little Children. The latter role was his breakout and with good reason -- something tells me clandestine affairs across the country found some sweaty inspiration from it, even if the movie was, you, know, a bit of a downer (when it wasn't being hot as hell). Anyway thinking about that role always makes me then think about the spin he did on a similar thing five years later in Diablo Cody's viciously funny Young Adult -- those two characters are basically the yin and yang of Suburban Dad-ness. Which brings us to today's birthday poll for the beautiful and talented fella...

online polls

Lisa Frankenstein in 300 Words or Less

You know how zombies are wobbly when they first wake up? And then before you know it they're running like the "infected" of 28 Days Later or listening to a Walkman like Bob in Day of the Dead? Lisa Frankenstein, the new horror-comedy written by Jennifer's Body scripter Diablo Cody and directed by Zelda "daughter of Robin" Williams has that shambling ambling sort of feel -- it takes awhile to find its footing but I think it finally does around the film's mid-point, and from thereon I was enamored. Its first half isn't bad -- you're just not really keying into who Lisa (Kathryn Newton, summoning all the Heathers put in a blender) is as a character until she finds her purpose. Her mood-swings and her actions seem kind of random. 

That said those are quibbles that will certainly feel less wobbly on second, third, and thirty-fifth viewings, because Lisa Frankenstein is destined to be a cult movie born and bred. Even while watching it you can tell that this thing will resonate deeply with the same kind of 13-year-olds who kept beating that Heathers drum until that movie became a bonafide classic. (You might not recall that movie was a big flop at the time of its release.) Or, in Cody's exact wheelhouse, a generation later with Jennifer's Body, which was not a success in 2009 but is now well on its way to classic status itself. Lisa Frankenstein, for all its wobbly bits, is funny and charming and sweet and nasty and weird and its hallucinegenic overdone 80s aesthetic is a hoot and Carla Gugino is there killing it and I think the tweens, the right ones anyway, are gonna swoon. 

Two Trailers of Sheer Terror!

My head's been all over the place today -- blame those Jeremy Allen White underwear pictures that exploded off my screen like fireworks when I first turned on my computer this morning -- and so I haven't gotten to a couple of important things worth sharing yet. So let's do it rat-a-tat style, a fast drop of too much information and then whoosh I'm gone again like I was never here. First up! There is a docuemtnary about horror master Dario Argento hitting Shudder on February 2nd! (It's coinciding with a screening series here in NYC at the IFC Center.) Titled Dario Argento Panico and from filmmaker Simone Scafidi the doc features interviews with people like Gaspar Noé, Guillermo Del Toro, and Nicolas Winding Refn, aka the hottest nerd-fest in town. Also a bunch of his actors and Mr. Argento himself. Here's the trailer!

Next up we got the full trailer for Diablo Cody's next horror film called Lisa Frankenstein -- I shared the teaser all the way back in October; watch that here if you're like me and don't want too much given away. Which means that no, I haven't watched this full trailer myself. But I have heard good stuff about this movie from people who've already seen it, and I love love loved that teaser, so I don't need to. Maybe you're not me, who knows! Anyway Lisa Frankenstein hits theaters on February 9th, and here's that trailer:

Build Me a Boy To Love

Jennifer's Body and Juno scribe Diablo Cody is back (or will be on Valentines Day 2024) with Lisa Frankenstein, her goofy goth bisexually-lit spin on Mary Shelley's classic tale starring the ever-winning Kathryn Newton as the titular body-snatcher, who digs up a corpse... to love!!! (The corpse is played by Cole Sprause.) A teaser trailer was dropped today and it's giving Heathers by way of Tim Burton vibes -- very classic Winona, ya know? And we live for classic Winona. Honestly this looks like a ton of pink-blue fun and I can't wait. Tell me what you think in the comments!

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Young Adult (2011)

Matt: Look, I don't know what Buddy's doing 

with you or what you think he's doing with you, 

but you need to move on. 

Mavis: You're one to talk. All you care about is

some scuffle that happened 20 years ago.

You lean on that crutch and you lean on excuses

and you and I both know that you use this whole

thing as an excuse to do absolutely nothing with your life.

Matt : Scuffle. You don't know shit about what happened

to me. Okay? Those jocks you used to blow during lunch, 

they shattered my legs, bashed in my brains, mangled my

cock so that I have to piss and cum sideways for the rest

of my life. Then they left me for dead. You know, things

aren't too great down south. I can barely get off by

myself let alone with another person.

Mavis: You know, what's done is done. 

You can't keep dwelling on the past, Matt.

I've felt a little guilty ever since I wrote my (deservedly) scathing Ghostbusters Afterlife takedown last month that I made a nepotism joke about Jason Reitman, because I do think Jason Reitman is talented, and this here movie that's turning 10 years old today is about all the proof I need to exhibit in that claim's defense. If all he'd ever made was Young Adult he'd be a fave. Young Adult is better than anything his father made. Then you add on Juno and Tully and to a lesser extent Thank You For Smoking and he's really one of our great comedy directors -- I guess that's one of the reasons Afterlife annoyed me so much; I really wanted it to be something special and it was decidedly not. Oh well! We'll always have Mavis Gary and her spectacular bullshit!

5 Off My Head: Queen Charlize

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Tomorrow the queen called Charlize will be turning 45 years awesome, and since I won't be online tomorrow -- Summer Fridays dontcha know -- I feel like celebrating her today. I've watched three Charlize movies during quarantine -- a re-watch of Mad Max Fury Road (yup still kicks all kinds of unholy arse) plus first-time viewings of her new Netflix joint The Old Guard (which I totally dug) and last year's political rom-com Long Shot with Seth Rogen, which was far funnier than I anticipated. I should've known those two wouldn't shovel shit in my face and tell me to smile. Anyway I was a little shocked after a cursory glance through our archives told me I've never done this before but there's no time like the present...

My 5 Favorite Charlize Performances

Aileen Wuornos, Monster (2003)

"I always wanted to be in the movies."

Furiosa, Mad Max Fury Road (2015)

"Out here everything hurts."

Marlo, Tully (2018)

"People used to eat flour back then."

Lorraine Broughton, Atomic Blonde (2017)

"I'm my own bitch now!"

Mavis Gary, Young Adult (2011)

"Theater fag is an expression, Buddy."

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What's your fave Charlize?

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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Bright Star (2009)

Fanny: I still don't know how to work out a poem. 

John: A poem needs understanding through the senses. The point of diving in a lake is not immediately to swim to the shore but to be in the lake, to luxuriate in the sensation of water. You do not work the lake out, it is a experience beyond thought. Poetry soothes and emboldens the soul to accept a mystery.

Fanny: I love mystery.

There are four movies of some note celebrating their tenth anniversaries today. There's this film here by Jane Campion. Then there's Karyn Kusama's horror flick Jennifer's Body, which seems to have finally started getting the respect it deserves now that everybody's hate for Megan Fox has cooled. 

Then there is Steven Soderbergh's The Informant! which I really and truly adore -- mostly for Melanie Lynskey, but I think it's one of his best and I'm a fan. And then finally there is Vicenzo Natali's much maligned Splice, which damn the haters I really enjoyed. I will admit I haven't seen it in ten years, but I think it's one of those movies that got an "F" from audiences that was just too freaking weird for them to get. 

But I digress! I polled y'all on Twitter earlier this week and Bright Star won the poll, just by the smallest of smidges over Jennifer's Body. So Bright Star gets today's post. I am fine with this, as Bright Star is a masterpiece and Ben Whishaw in Bright Star is also a masterpiece. Tell us which of these movies you love the most, or about how much you fell in love with Ben Whishaw here, in the comments!

Adam Brody Three Times

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I'm really very annoyed that I haven't gotten to see Ready or Not yet when I very much want to, hence why I haven't posted much about the buzzy horror flick out this weekend. But these photos of Adam Brody in the new GQ are really too adorable not to post, so I'll make this exception. There's also an interview at that link, although it's mostly about The OC and I didn't really watch The OC save a couple times -- I didn't crush on Adam until Jennifer's Body, because I got class, motherfucker.

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Come On In The Milk Is Fine

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In the middle of the night, a shriek. It's somewhere in the house. You don't hear footsteps - just breathing, gasping, the gurgling of some demon. Your head feels blunt, your vision blurred - you stumble down blackened hallways bracing yourself for a blow. Something drips. The shrieking, oh god the shrieking, it never ends, it just blends into the fabric of reality itself, turning the never-ending night into a pulsing yellow strobe, a migraine built from the toes up one by one by one, little piggies gone to seed...

So that's why I never wanted to become a parent. How about you? I value sleep more than I value having somebody to take care of me when I'm old - just throw me in a ditch and let me die well-rested. And here is Tully, which tickles with these notions - well it's less a tickle really than it is a full-toothed clamp down, spurting blood through a weary smile. Bringing back the winning team behind Young Adult (or Juno minus an Ellen plus a Charlize) here we have... Just Adult. What happens after you pull out.

Having never actually experienced childbirth (I did eat a really big steak one time though, so watch out ladies) or even spent a ton of time around the parents of newborns myself truthfully I'm looking at this movie from a terrible vantage point; all I can really do is read it from the vague impression I have of these circumstances, mostly gathered from other movies, or perhaps also from the red dead eyes of next door neighbors. And I suppose Tully seems like exactly what I would imagine this experience to be like. Thematically, I get it. Its revelations about our post-self selves are smart. 

But then what do I know, save a deep-seated instinctual terror to steer clear of these circumstances? It's terrifically acted (oh Mackenzie, my Mackenzie, and oh Charlize, my goddess, and so forth) and it's really beautifully lensed (I think I sank right into the browns of those kitchen nooks and crannies) and I do look forward to seeing it again, viewing it through what we come to learn about the characters. But we maybe didn't bond as profoundly as Tully wanted me to? I'm just not putting my mouth on this nipple, folks. I don't know where that thing's been, and you can't make me.

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Just Mangled Guts Pretending

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Wishing today I could go see Angels in America again pic.twitter.com/x4tw5dUTn4

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) April 19, 2018

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I'm about to head out to another pair of Tribeca screenings for the day (I'm seeing Tully, Jason Retiman's new Diablo Cody penned joint with Charlize Theron and Mackenzie Davis in a hot minute, whoop whoop) so here to keep you fickle people entertained I recommend you go read our pal Louis' piece on the current run of Angels in America at Buzzfeed, which contextualizes the show in our current political moment with some quotes from the folks behind it. And I'm gonna talk like I'm inside of one of Louis' monologues of verbose word-vomit all day now that the show's again stuck in my head. (Click here if you missed my pics from the show last month.)
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Great Moments in Movie Shelves #119

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"Whatever, Book Man."

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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Young Adult (2011)

Mavis Gary: Sometimes in order to heal

... a few people have to get hurt. 

A happy 39 to Diablo Cody today!

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Let's All Be Adults Again

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This makes me happier than seeing a single mother with so much confidence on stage - the team being 2011's brilliantly caustic Young Adult - director Jason Reitman & writer Diablo Cody & star Charlize Theron - are teaming up to make a new movie! Granted I might be more excited if Reitman & Cody's other work since Young Adult hadn't all been crud, but we're hoping their reunion sparks ye olde spark again. Says Deadline:

"Now they are early stage talks to team again in Cody’s latest script that Reitman will direct, which doesn’t have a title. All I know is it’s about motherhood."

I would like this to be a straight-up sequel to Young Adult and to be about Mavis Gary getting pregnant, please. CAN YOU IMAGINE??? The horror, the horror.
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Good Morning, World

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A very happy 33rd birthday to Sebastian Stan today! To those of you (weirdos) who saw Ricki and the Flash - does Sebastian have anything to do in it besides be adorable? Granted he does that well, incredibly well, and it's usually a thing worth looking at. And okay okay I like Meryl and I like Diablo Cody so I'll clearly see Ricki and the Flash when it comes out on DVD and I will probably even like it, so I don't know why I feel the need to pick on it. 

Anyway, Sebastian! I am tremendously worried that the bottoming out (no not that kind of bottoming out - I know we're talking about Sebastian Stan here, but come on) of its studio is going to hurt the release of The Bronze, his Gymnastics Naked Sex Movie. It was scheduled for mis-October but now that's up in the air, and the only thing that ought to be up in the air are Sebastian Stan's genitals as they swing around in the breeze on a balance beam or whatever the hell is supposedly happening in The Bronze. (And does anybody else immediately think of Buffy's hangout whenever that title is said?)

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Unwrapping Joel Edgerton

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There's a great big superhero movie out tomorrow (with hot boys and terrible reviews) and there's a Meryl Streep movie out tomorrow (written by Diablo Cody and co-starring Sebastian Stan -- this is me framing Ricki and the Flash like something I'd have any interest in seeing, which I really really don't) but the only movie coming out this weekend that I really want to see (The Diary of a Teenage Girl doesn't count since I've already seen it, loved it, and reviewed it, but I might go see it again because goddamn Aleaxander Skarsgard's delicious in it) is The Gift... yeah you know, The Gift? It was originally called Weirdo, which was much better - it's now got a terribly generic title (not to mention one that gives me flashes of Hilary Swank in the mullet to end all mullets)... but anyway it's that "Joel Edgerton torments Jason Bateman for some past sin" movie that I feel as if I've been watching the trailer for for years. 

It's not really that trailer that got me, though -- it's the fact that Edgerton both wrote and directed the flick, and Joel's proven himself on the writing side at least to be talented. The Square is great anyway, and there's good stuff in both The Rover (which he wrote the original story for) and Felony. The Gift marks his first time behind the camera on a full-length film but I've got such a soft spot for this sort of thriller. Anybody else have any desire to see it? In summation here's a picture of Joel holding hands with Jason on the film's red carpet... I smell a romance!

I Am Link

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--- Gyllen Magic - The latest short-list of names for Marvel's Doctor Strange movie that Variety is tossing around includes people like Ewan McGregor, Oscar Isaacs, and... JAKE. As in Gyllenhaal. Oh goodness me. It's weird I was just thinking the other day when I saw that picture of him right there that some fan took (via) with all his muscles showing that it's weird his name never gets mentioned for superheroes anymore, but I didn't quite parlay that thought into Doctor Strange. (Let's be honest, I got as far as Jake's muscles and went a little slack-jawed, the end.) Anyway I don't know that he's right for DS, and also after all the shit he dealt with circa Prince of Persia - maybe he wants to keep making his weird little movies that he gets great reviews for, at least for awhile?

--- All Winners - At The Film Experience yesterday Nathaniel did a ton of Top Ten lists for Top Ten Tuesday and you should check them all out but unsurprisingly it's the one on the Oscars that lit the most fuses in the comments - check out Nat's Top Ten Most Deserving Oscar Wins of the Decade So Far. As crazy as the Academy makes me there have been some very very fine winners (the double-shot of Foreign Films he mentions are about as good as it gets); I'd probably find it easier to make a list of least deserving though (it would be Jared Leto and Ben Affleck's names five times each).

--- Dino Logo -  I don't really have anything to say about the first poster for Jurassic World, the fourth Jurassic Park movie, as it doesn't really warrant much discussion, there's nothing new about it save a graying out of the color scheme which hopefully won's translate to the movie - don't you dare over-saturate this thing a la Zack Snyder, director Colin Trevorrow! Jurassic Park is lush and bright and green yellow red.
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--- White Stuff - Back in May we heard that Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris, the duo who directed Little Miss Sunshine, had dropped out of making a movie called The Good Luck of Right Now starring Brie Larson, which was adapted from a 2014 book by Matthew "Silver Linings Playbook" Quick by no less than our beloved Mike White. We were sad about that. Well today comes word that Mike White has apparently also adapted Quick's next novel called Love May Fail, which isn't out until June 2015, and Sam Raimi is in talks to direct that! What I learned today is Mike White really likes Matthew Quick's books! Should I read one of them? Keep in mind I didn't really like Silver Linings Playbook, the movie.
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--- Hey Benny - As an olive branch to Benedict Cumberbatch, who I sorta slapped around a bit yesterday, I'll link over to the photo-shoot he did for Out magazine, which he's on the cover of this month - he looks as good as Benedict Cumberbatch can probably look in these pictures! (Wait, am I actually being nice there?)

--- Top Return - I can't recall why I fell off before I finished Jane Campion's Top of the Lake but I still haven't watched the last two hours somehow, even though I was really enjoying it. So don't spoil it for me here, now that I tell you that Campion is at work on a second series! This is unexpected, but then maybe not, since it's probably easier for her to get funding for this than other stuff. I was wondering if Elisabeth Moss would be back but then I realized I don't know how the show ends, if she could come back is a question mark, so nevermind all that just yet.

--- Excellent Conduct - Also in "serious movie auteur turning to television" news we've got more word on Steve McQueen's previously announced show for HBO - it's called Codes of Conduct and it will star newcomer Devon Terrell, seen there to the right. Basically it sounds an awful lot like Will Smith's part in Six Degrees of Separation that he's playing - a poor kid from Queens ingratiates himself into "the social circles of Manhattan's elite." Don't think about elephants! (But do think about elephant cocks - what role will Michael Fassbender play?)

--- Server Not Found - The minute I read what Jason Reitman's new movie Men Women and Children is about - the horrors and isolation of modern technology! - I cringed and I knew he was setting himself up for a drubbing, and sure enough... Oh Jason, just make Diablo Cody movies now, silly man. We need a Diablo Cody delivery service; she tried on her own and it wasn't good.
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Hello Kitty Likes To Scratch

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Give somebody your stinkiest stink-eye today - in honor of Charlize Theron's birthday this upcoming Thursday I'm giving her this week's "Beauty vs Beast" over at The Film Experience. Well her and Patrick Wilson. Did I say Patrick Wilson? You're right, I should post pictures of Patrick Wilson. Good idea.

I Am Link

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--- Vacay Cray Cray - I forgot that they've actually made movies together already (Take Me Home Tonight anyone?) so it felt fresh and exciting to find out that Chris Pratt and Anna Faris, awesome husband and awesomer wife, are making a new movie together. Til I remember the shitty movies. There's always tomorrow! This one's called Vacation Friends and it's about two couples who meet in Mexico and have fun but then the crazier couple follows the less-crazy couple home. (Hmm I wonder if Chris and Anna will be playing the crazy couple.)

--- Go Deep Streep - We've all been begging Meryl Streep to make some movies with more accomplished directors lately, so hearing she's signed on to make a movie with Jonathan Demme sounds not so bad. Add on the fact that Diablo Cody wrote the script and it's even less so bad. it's about a woman who returns to her abandoned family many years later.

--- Space Balls - Ridley Scott is definitely probably making a second Prometheus movie, they've got a new writer (the guy who wrote the Green Lantern movie, so you know this will be quality!) and a date and all that jazz. The most exciting news I'ms eeing is the rumor that the film apparently involves multiple copies of the David android, aka there will be more than one Michael Fassbender on-screen. I want every single character on-screen played by Michael Fassbender, that's what I want. And then rename the movie Orgy. And have it be an orgy. With just Michael Fassbenders. I should be writing this thing dammit.

--- Worth What - I feel like James Cameron is calling in some favors and getting Sam Worthington cast in things again so it doesn't seem so "Who the hell is that guy again?" when he puts out the new Avatar movies in ten years or whenever he gets them actually made. So here's news that Sam Worthington has joined the cast of Jake Gyllenhaal's Ass on a Mountain. Also Robin Wright has joined the cast too.

--- And Speaking of people from Avatar who need a new agent, a new picture from NBC's Rosemary's Baby remake-ish thingamajig with Zoe Saldana and that Suits dude can be seen over here. (thanks Mac)

--- Bald Beauty - Corey Stoll is probably joining Edgar Wright's Ant-Man movie, but the role's a secret. I interpret that to mean he will be either Paul Rudd or Patrick Wilson's love-slave, and I will accept no less. My boyfriend is watching House of Cards right now (I still haven't seen the show) and I walked past and there was Corey half naked on a bed and I can't get the image out of my head...

--- Cherish Valerie - I don't believe I've mentioned this news even though it's a week or so old and I am a crazy fan of the original, so obviously the only excuse for why I'm just linking to the word that Lisa Kudrow might be making some more of The Comeback, in some form with HBO, is a psychotic break. Actually I'm just too scared to jinx it. I want it too much to even breathe until it happens. I am prepared to die for Aunt Sassy.
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Happy Birthday, Brie Larson

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I guess I should have waited to post that gif of her sitting on a birthday cake, instead of doing so two weeks ago - I can't think up anything better as a way to wish her a happy 24 today though, so there it is again. I don't know that you can really see it too many times, though.

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