Monday, May 04, 2026
Good Morning, World
Tuesday, April 21, 2026
Burn Demon Babies Burn
"Evil Dead Burn unleashes the franchise’s most savage and terrifying ride to date, blazing onto big screens with an all-new chapter of carnage and demonic mayhem. After the loss of her husband, a woman seeks solace with her in-laws in their secluded family home. As one by one they are transformed into Deadites—turning the gathering into a family reunion from hell—she comes to discover that the vows she took in life… live on even in death."
Friday, April 17, 2026
I Want My Mummy!
The last bit is the best bit -- it's what I liked about Evil Dead Rise, too. Cronin is definitely not afraid to be extremely gross and extremely obscene. But as with EDR (which brought the Deadites to the city only to then keep them entirely contained to one building for the entire run-time, making it feel like a retread of everything we'd seen before in the franchise) the plot and the characterizations in this movie make so little sense from scene to scene; it's really just "gross and obscene" strung together by the thinnest of (admittedly sticky) threads. I didn't really hate my time watching this movie, but it's in no way "good" nor should anyone be applauded for how lazy it all is. Cronin made a terrific Irish Folk Horror movie in 2019 with The Hole in the Ground, but he's just been coasting on puke and pus and kids saying fuck ever since. Bad Mummy!
Tuesday, March 24, 2026
Good Morning, World
Thursday, March 05, 2026
Thursday, January 22, 2026
Rub Dylan O'Brien For Good Luck
Wednesday, October 23, 2024
Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...
... you can learn from:
Crimewave (1985)
Girl in bar: You're cute.Renaldo the Heel: Keep talkin', baby.Maybe you'll tell me something I don't already know.
Happy 65 to Sam Raimi!
Any fans of Crimewave up in here?
Monday, December 11, 2023
Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...
... you can learn from:
A Simple Plan (1998)
Hank: When I was still just a kid, I remember my father telling me what he thought that it took for a man to be happy. Simple things, really. A wife he loves, a decent job, friends and neighbors who like and respect him. And for a while there, without hardly even realizing it, I had all that. I was a happy man.
Friday, April 21, 2023
Have a Very Waters Weekend!
Aaaanyway I'm done for the day, which means I'm done until Monday -- but I have given you a whole lot to ponder! I reviewed three count them three movies out this weekend -- here is my review of Guy Ritchie's The Covenant with Jake Gyllenhaal; here is my review of Evil Dead Rise; and here is my review of Ari Aster's Beau is Afraid. Oh and I also wrote about the 50th anniversary of the incredible 1973 horror flick Messiah of Evil today too for good measure -- read that right here! And that is plenty to keep you busy this weekend. When you're not eating shit and dying for John Waters, I mean. Bye!
Dawn of a New Evil Dead
Wednesday, April 19, 2023
Bringing Out the Deadites
Wednesday, June 15, 2022
Good Afternoon, Gratuitous Ray Santiago
Tuesday, May 03, 2022
In the Marvels of Madness
I've got no big desire to dip my own toes into plot specifics but the basic gist here is that fresh hero-to-be America Chavez (a winning Xochitl Gomez) has powers flaring up beyond her control and a whole raft of big baddies (many of them many-tentacled and goopy to the max -- all the better for Raimi to slam in and squish them with windshield-like glee) are chasing her through multiple universes to suck said powers straight outta her. And in every universe which America stumbles she stumbles straight upon the good Doctor -- Strange that is -- and he helps her... or he helps her by hurting her... it all depends on the mood and emotional gradations of that slice of the multiverse's Stephen.
So Stephen Strange helps her or he doesn't, and the Stephen Strange we're familiar with, in our own chapter of the Marvel Universe, decides to help her by going to his friends to get some help. Enter the sly and delightful Benedict Wong as Wong the now-reigning Sorcerer Supreme, and also enter Elizabeth Olson as Wanda Maximoff, last seen nursing her emotional devastations post-WandaVision with a very big very bright red book. If you're a comics fan you know that book is called the "Darkhold" and if you're not a comics fan the movie will explain it to you, don't worry. But I think you can guess by its name that that book, in the grand tradition of "Books in Sam Raimi Movies", is problematic! Necronomicon-ho!
And this movie isn't just cruelty and pain obviously, but as with anything you can label "Raimiest" the director adores butting said pain up against goof and camp and the broadest sincerity, threading the world's trickiest tone like a multiverse-sized camel being jammed through the eye of a needle, a needle in a pile of needles ten pyramids tall (dare I say a "time-stack?) His Wizard of Oz movie showed what happened when the balance was off -- yikes -- but he's got all his plates spinning here, and Multiverse of Madness will send you reeling from emotional high to high like we're leap-frogging a mountain range. As much fun as the last Spider-Man was (and I dug that sucker plenty) this one's much more my jam, and this is the one I'll be re-watching, high off its giddy obscene supply. This is not Sam Raimi chained to anything -- this is the MCU chained to Sam Raimi, and swooping straight through the fires of hell and up through the stars and back, demons screeching on our tails the entire time. What a great goddamned time at the movies!
Monday, May 02, 2022
Jonathan Majors Takes A Lickin'
"He trained for at least a year to prepare. His hands have become so big he couldn’t even squeeze on a wristband for the Chanel pre-Oscars party. 'Over time, they just got bigger and bigger,' Majors says. Despite playing a boxer in the movie, which marks Jordan’s directorial debut, Majors insists he wasn’t left with any injuries: 'I got punched in the face about 100 times, but it’s all OK!'"
Monday, March 07, 2022
5 Off My Head: Siri Says 1987
Monday, February 14, 2022
The Multiverse of Cumberbatch
Wednesday, December 15, 2021
Spin A Little Web Of Dreams
And anyway you did ask me, because you're here reading this, which I take as my permission to continue. But I will be kind, generous, in return for your trust, and I will keep my mouth yapped shut on spoilers. Don't fear! I don't really give a shit when it comes to talking plot any of the time anyway -- other sites I write for demand I get into that stuff but I prefer to write about the vagaries of cinematic sensation over mechanics whenever I can, and this spoiler-aversion gives me the opportunity to indulge myself. So let's! If you've seen the trailer you know plenty enough. Try not to know anything else and the surprises this one's got in store for you are fairly endless.
What's so great about No Way Home is it truly feels like spider-id unleashed -- like somebody decided for once they were truly gonna go all out on the comic book writer sensation that there's only you and a piece of paper and a pencil in front of you and you can make these characters do absolutely fucking anything you can think of, and this movie's gonna do it dagnabit, and it did. I'm not slighting any of the previous Spider-movies -- I rate Raimi's Spider-Man 2 with an even higher grade than I do this one still -- but Spider-Man: No Way Home lives in the place where the last couple of Avengers movies did where endless buckets of money met truly limitless CGI; it's not just the sky that's the limit, it's the furthest reaches of space, time, and all infinite dimensions.
Basically No Way Home is peak pop culture of our moment. Sure I have quibbles here and there about plot mechanics or character choices if I felt like indulging my inner-quibbler, but the deluge of because-we-can fuck-yeahs on displays in this picture are too dazzling and delightful to deny. This is Marvel & Co giving the exhausted and weary people out here the full superhero nonsense of their dreams, undiluted and gone-for-broke, and this thing deserves every damned penny it will make. It's our moment's version of Busby Berkeley put-on-a-show for the weary folks, razzle dazzle 'em, and I whizzed outta this spider-sucker feeling both razzled and dazzled deep down in my happy places. All I can say is a big thanks. I needed this.
Wednesday, December 09, 2020
Spider-bums Assemble!
WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE pic.twitter.com/QDGJg5zGkw
— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) December 8, 2020
... predictable. But this is some nerd heaven, and since I have continually loved the Spider-man movies since the Raimi days this is my kind of nerd heaven. A Spider-bum Heaven! Besides having all of the Spider-twinks and Spider-twunks twerking in one place a couple other names have been officialized, those being Kristen Dunst back as Tobey's and the world's best Mary Jane...
Experiencing Spider-Man 2's subway fight in a New York City movie theater three years after 9/11 was... well I'm crying right now remembering it? It was the probably the best, most moving emotional catharsis that an action movie has ever gifted me pic.twitter.com/DdBfN3KSLS
— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) December 8, 2020
Monday, July 27, 2020
15 Off My Head: Siri Says 1998
(dir. S.R. Bindler),
-- released on July 10th 1998 --
... Lost in Space (dir. Stephen Hopkins), High Art (dir. Lisa Cholodenko), The Last Days of Disco (dir. Whit Stillman), The X-Files (dir. Rob Bowman), Buffalo '66 (dir. Vincent Gallo), Pi (dir. Aronofsky), Lolita (dir. Adrian Lyne), Halloween: H20 (dir. Steve Miner), Snake Eyes (dir. De Palma)...