Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Triangle of Sadness (2022)

The Captain: My government murdered Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Bobby Kennedy, and John F. Kennedy.. My government overthrew good, honest, democratic leaders of the people in Chile, Venezuela, Argentina, Peru, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Panama, and Bolivia. Along with Britain, we carved up the Middle East, creating artificial geographical boundaries and installing puppet dictators. War itself became our most lucrative industry. Every bomb that's dropped, somebody makes a million dollars. You don't have to know where those bombs are exploding. You don't have to see the grieving mothers and the mangled bodies of their children. Eugene Debs gave this speech in Canton, Ohio, in 1918: 'Throughout history wars have been waged for conquest and plunder... The master class has always declared the wars. The subject class has always fought... They've taught you to believe it to be your patriotic duty to go to war and to have yourselves slaughtered at their command... When Wall Street says war, the press says war.'"

Well that speech hits home in 2026, huh? Anyway a happy birthday to the great Swedish director Ruben Östlund today! I was super sad when I read that his next movie The Entertainment System Is Down wasn't ready for Cannes this year so he's holding it off for an entire year for Cannes 2027 -- what, you're too good for another festival, Ruben?? The supposed reason is he's gunning for a third Palme d'Or -- which would break the record -- but, and I say this as a big fan, this feels terribly presumptious, Ruben. I mean you can think this sort of thing inside of your head but maybe don't let that narrative out into the world -- that shit draws the knives all on its own, my man. That said with a fantastic-seeming cast including Kirsten Dunst, Keanu Reeves, Julie Delpy, Tobias Menzies, Daniel Brühl, Lindsay Duncan, Nicholas Braun and Connor Swindells, and a right-up-his-alley micro/macrocosm class-warfare story about a bunch of people trapped on a long flight where the entertainment system goes down and they all presumably lose their minds, I'm expecting good things. Which is why making us wait an extra year is deviant behavior!

Arnaud Valois Six Times

Always extremely happy when I can share a new photoshoot of my French boyfriend Arnaud Valois of BPM fame -- okay okay one of my many, many French boyfriends -- and this one is very fine! Via his Insta for a magazine called French Magazine apparently -- how literal! -- these go along with his turn playing Yves Saint Laurent in that Becoming Karl Lagerfeld miniseries that I somehow still haven't found the time to watch even though it also stars Daniel Brühl and Théodore Pellerin. I don't know! Have any of you watched it? Anyway you can hit the jump for the photos...

Pic of the Day

Vanity Fair has shared a first look at Ron Howard's upcoming film Eden which is premiering at TIFF, and which apparently includes Jude Law half naked. Could those shorts be any lower? (Well yes technically they could be in the dirt.) The film tells the true story of a bunch of pilgrims in the late 1920s who headed off to the islands of the Galapagos to try and forge their own destinies, with tragic results -- it also stars Vaness Kirby, Ana De Armas, Sydney Sweeney, Daniel Brühl, and mmmm Toby Wallace. I hope Jude and Toby rassel naked! That's what I call paradise. See more photos at that first link. None as promising as this one though. 

Happy InDePlaidPants Day 2024!

It's time for that goofiest of MNPP-specific holidays -- every July 4th I post photos of dudes wearing plaid pants, because why not. WHY NOT??? Really though -- if any of you can come up with a good reason why I shouldn't do this ricidulous thing every year let's hear it; it'll save me gathering up these photos all year long. I welcome one less thing to worry about in this worry-full world!

But until that happens here we are, and here they be -- dudes wearing plaid pants. It's been so long since I've owned or wore a proper pair of plaid pants. That seems a shame. You'd think I'd capitalize on the site's name and brand myself like a proper "influencer" with a look (or is that "lewk") all my own so I could become a pop culture character and perhaps then pay my bills on time. LOL. Wouldn't that shock the world. Anyway, celebration! Hit the jump for the year in plaid pants photos...

Arnaud Valois Sixteen Times

The ever-reliable folks at Behind the Blinds magazine coming through again with a sexy photo-shoot of one of our under-loved faves -- this time it's French actor Arnaud Valois, last seen romancing a sad-eyed Dan Levy in Good Grief and currently seen in the Karl Lagerfeld miniseries Becoming Karl Lagerfeld alongside MNPP faves Daniel Brühl and Théodore Pellerin...

...  and how in the hell have I not watched this series yet? I gotta push it on up the list. Are any of you more on it and already watching it? Anyway we've loved Arnaud since the masterpiece B.P.M. and we're happy he keeps getting work we wanna watch. Read the chat over at their website here, or just hit the jump for all of these hella fine photos...

Come Fly Away With Brühl

Triangle of Sadness director Ruben Östlund is definitely in a league right now among international directors like Yorgos Lanthimos who could get any damn actor they want for their movies, and so it's no surprise that the names that have been dropping for his next have been next level -- it started with Keanu Reeves, and now today we find out that both Daniel Brühl and Kirsten Dunst will be joining him in Östlund's next, titled The Entertainment System Is Down. As I told you when Keanu was announced the movie basically sounds like Lord of the Flies on a plane -- a bunch of people get trapped on an airplane and class chaos ensues. This movie, given that plot, will probably have an Airport-sized cast -- meaning the 1970 movie Airport, not that they could fill an entire airport, although the difference between those two is merely perspective. So I imagine we'll have a lot more big name announcements ahead! Östlund has apparently bought an actual 747 to film on so he'll have the space!

Good Morning, World

Hello and happy Monday! Hope one and all had a good weekend but either way let's get it started with goodness -- somehow over the holidays I completely missed these photos of a half-naked Jude Law stomping around the Australian set of his upcoming film Eden from director Ron Howard, and that shouldn't stand. The movie has quite the cast -- Sydney Sweeney, Daniel Brühl, Ana de Armas, and Vanessa Kirby among others -- and is about...

... a bunch of people who "leave everything behind and set their futures on the harsh landscape of the Galapagos." Mkay. Honestly I don't know why Ron Howard keeps getting directing gigs much less casts of this caliber as he is a terrible director, but I'll accept these photos of Jude's furry torso with those shorts slipping so low in exchange to temporarily shut my yap. I am spectacularly cheap. Hit the jump for a bunch...

Daniel Brühl Eight Times

Our favorite little German boy Danny Brühl is playing Karl Lagerfeld in an upcoming series about the fashion designer and so Interview Magazine has a new interview with the actor in it, and I have saved the best part for last -- he is chatting with Vickie Krieps! And the conversation's actually pretty funny because Vickie keeps hijacking it - I'm pretty sure she talks more than he does -- but it's fine, it's Vickie Krieps. She tells a really charming story about Lagerfeld -- about she was invited to one of his shows after he saw Phantom Thread (smart man) and how she appreciated that he wasn't ass-kissy at all. And she's very much a person it's impossible not to hear everything in her distinct voice, reading this made me realize, too. Anyway even if we also have fallen into the trap of making this all about Vickie we love Daniel too! Look at him in these photos, how could we not? Hit the jump for them all...

Good Morning, I Quit Smoking 15 Years Ago Today

Well it's that time again -- every May 5th I celebrate two personal things (and no neither of them are Cinco de Mayo, but if you celebrate that a happy one to you). One -- it's my anniversary with my boyfriend. And two -- I quit smoking cigarettes on this day in the year 2008, and I have been doing this post here on this website for fifteen straight years ever since. All year long I set aside a folder of images I stumble upon of our favorite sexy actors smoking...

... be it in film, photoshoot, or personal life. I might be happy I quit, and I don't encourage any of you to pick up the habit... but gosh if it can't be sexy to look at all the same. I don't make the rules! Some things are just the way they are. So this morning let's hit the jump and roll around like animals in filth in the hot bad habit of it all...

Good Morning, World

Happy Monday to one and all, from both me and Daniel Brühl, the latter who's seen here in his recent movie Next Door, which he both directed and starred in (via). What a little multi-tasker he is! And actually I should admit I'm just assuming that Daniel wishes you a good morning -- I really shouldn't speak for him, but in his absence he has forced me to. That's just what you get, Daniel! If you were here, say sitting in my lap, I wouldn't have to assume. You have forced my hand. Anyway, hi. Hello. Good morning. That's definitely from me, and possibly from Daniel Brühl. I don't know what he is up to right now, but me, I'm posting this and then I'm going to be busy for a bit -- Sundance's switch to all virtual has upended my press ticket reservations, and that's got to be dealt with shortly. I'll be back. Eventually. Daniel Brühl, who knows...

A Luke Evans Reminder

Luke Evans' mustache and bicep would like to remind you that the second season of their show The Alienist is hitting blu-ray today -- see my previous post about exactly this same thing, but written a couple of weeks ago, right here. I was going to ask if we thought the stache was for business or pleasure but IMDb says he is filming his role as "The Coachman" in Robert Zemeckis' upcoming live-action Pinocchio movie and I could see a stache going with that, couldn't you? I don't know why he'd have to be so shredded for a Pinocchio movie but my guess is that's the part that's for pleasure. Anyway I didn't even realize that Zemeckis was already filming this -- I'm sad we're not getting the Guillermo Del Toro version; he seemed better suited to the creepy material. Zemeckis will probably make it creepy for all the wrong reasons a la his Polar Express movie (which also starred Tom Hanks, who's playing Geppetto this time). 

Good Morning, World

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A post shared by Luke Evans (@thereallukeevans)

Alright alright, I will bite, Luke. (Also -- I will bite Luke.) I'll post your video begging to be posted this morning, but only because there is other Luke Evans News at hand. The second season of The Alienist, subtitled Angel of Darkness, is hitting blu-ray in a couple of weeks! Coincidentally I got a review copy last night and can't wait to put on my tightest man-vest and shine my shoes and get myself a pince-nez and get to diggin' through the special features. I did watch the show as it aired and posted such sporadically -- I actually love The Alienist, way more than I expected to (and I think Luke is very good on it as well!), and am always happy to hear from other fans if you're out there. Please comment! But first I'll share the press release and special features stuff for the blu-ray after the jump...  

Good Morning, World

Well I'd say three weeks in a row makes this a tradition -- it's the end of the week, aka the day that new episodes of Falcon and the Winter Soldier drop, and here we are with another Daniel Brühl post! (See the past two here and here.) What a wonder a goofy little dance-move amid a sea of boredom will do! But unless Baron Zemo hosts a big gay orgy for everybody in the finale (which is today's new episode) I venture to speculate that this might be the end of our perfect run. To those of you who've already watched the episode...

... is there a big gay orgy? Even though I won't watch the episode until tonight I feel like you can spoil that for me and I'll be okay. More than okay -- telling me now will give me time to prepare, by which I mean "send flowers to the writer's room" and "buy lube on my way home." But back to the photoshoot we have here on hand (via) -- I don't have an exact date for it but I don't think it's brand new, in which case it's like last week -- where the fuck has my head been at and how did I miss this one? It's a hot one! Hit the jump for it...

Daniel Brühl Eight Times

I don't know how I missed this 2018 photo-shoot of Daniel Brühl for the personal fave Zoo Magazine -- see previous shoots with James Norton here, Josh O'Connor here, and Franz Rogowski here, all gems -- but you can be sure I'll make up for it today. I haven't watched the new episode of Falcon and the Winter Soldier yet but I'm hoping for some good Zemo content -- doubt they can top his recent dance-travaganza but whenever Daniel shows up he brings it. Hit the jump for the rest... 

Today's Fanboy Delusion

 Today I'd rather be...

... smooth-groovin' with smooth-mover Zemo.

When I posted yesterday morning about my happy hard-on for Daniel Brühl's every moment on the last episode of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier I hadn't seen that the hashtag #ReleaseTheZemoCut had become a thing, but it had, and Marvel (clearly anticipating the viral possibilites of that single second of his dance-moves beforehand) went and dropped more footage of Baron Zemo's groovin. For god's sake, they put an hour-long remix of it on their official YouTube page. So now you've got a video to play in the background at your next dance party! (With only vaccinated people in masks, of course.)

Good Morning, World

Thanks to his goofy return as the villainous Baron Zemo on the last episode of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier I've found my brain  turning to Daniel Brühl a lot the past several days -- this is not especially unique, we've loved Danny Brühl for ages, but it has amplified so why not mark the occasion. My feelings about FAWS are real mixed at the moment -- I'm not really sure why they're telling this story? Whereas WandaVision had an arc unto itself this feels like, "Oh we want these characters to continue hanging around so maybe we should give them something to do for a bit." I guess that's fine if you're a bigger Marvel nerd than I am but otherwise it so far just feels like wasting time. And it's leaning hard into the least interesting aspects of the MCU -- law enforcement blah blah blah. Oh well at least Daniel's having fun...

Oh thank goodness for Daniel Brühl, part two pic.twitter.com/xjjiHjMAT4

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) April 3, 2021

Luke Evans Brings the Entertainment

What perfect timing -- Luke Evans (and his ever present banana hammock) has been spotted at the beach with a new friend (and this is in Austrailia so we don't have to be angry about the lack os masks, hurray!) just as we get word that the second season of The Alienist, subtitled Angel of Darkness after the second book by author Caleb Carr, will be released on blu-ray on May 18th. I felt somewhat lonely watching the show last July -- not a lot of people were tweeting about it, but I was!

I don’t know when it happened but I really do love the friendship between the three leads on The Alienist — I find myself always wishing there were more scenes of them just hanging out, not babbling off murder plots and theories, just being old-timey peeps

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) July 30, 2020

That's what the kids call a "receipt." Anyway I think there was a general consensus of disappointment towards the show but I went straight in the opposite direction -- I came to love it, more than I'd anticipated. I mean I've watched the show since its start, having been a fan of Carr's books since way back, but I only liked the first season, but by the time the second was ending I was fully into it, hook line and Daniel Brühl's beautiful, beautiful hair.

I spend so much of The Alienist's runtime appreciating how thick and shiny Daniel Brühl's hair is pic.twitter.com/8qV77SNOt4

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) August 11, 2020

I hope they make a third season. Everybody go buy the blu-ray so they make a third season, please! I'll bribe you with a deeper selection of photos of Luke Evans and his furry beach friend after the jump, how's that...

Good Morning, World

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Noted actor and speedo enthusiast Luke Evans had himself a lil' whiff of a nude scene on this past week's latest episode of The Alienist, but since it contains a spoiler I'll make sure I toss the spoiler (which actually includes the "nude" part of the "nude scene" of course) down below. Avert your eyes if you're inclined to not know what is happening this season and aren't yet caught up! I have my issues with the show here and there, like...

Literally everyone on The Alienist overenunciates their Ws to the point of mad distraction— someone should do a super cut of all the hwah hwah hwats

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) July 23, 2020

... but I also kind of love it, too?

I don’t know when it happened but I really do love the friendship between the three leads on The Alienist — I find myself always wishing there were more scenes of them just hanging out, not babbling off murder plots and theories, just being old-timey peeps

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) July 30, 2020

Mixed feelings are fine -- any feelings are fine! As long as I am feeling something! Wow sorry that emotional outburst came out of nowhere. You know. 2020. Anyway the actor playing the villain this season is super entertaining and I really do like the show's leads, especially Daniel Brühl and to my surprise Luke -- I know I have posted a lot about Mr. Evans over the years but it's been more out of fascination with his personal choices than it has been about the work so much, and so to find myself really enamored with the delicate sweetness he's displaying here has really come at me out of nowhere. Good work, Luke! Those kind words out of the way now we can thankfully hit the jump for his (spoilery) butt...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Zoller: Merci for hoisting a German night.
Shosanna: I don't have a choice, but you're welcome.
Zoller: Do you chose the German films yourself?
Shosanna: Oui.
Zoller: Then my merci stands.
I love the Riefenstahl mountain films, especially,
Pizu Palu. It's nice to see a French girl
who's a admirer of Riefenstahl.
Shosanna: "Admire", would not be the adjective
I would use to describe my feelings
towards Fraulein Riefenstahl.
Zoller: But you do admire the director.
Pabst, don't you? That's why you included
his name on the marquee.
Shosanna: I'm French.
We respect directors in our country.

A very happy 42 to Daniel Brühl today! I just saw a trailer for the second season of The Alienist on TV earlier this week, which got me fairly excited as I loved the first season -- did you? The second season, subtitled The Angel of Darkness after Caleb Carr's second book, will premiere on TNT on July 26th. I hope our dour detectives get even pervier this go around -- I demand more of Daniel Brühl demanding that Luke Evans put on his boots. Here's that trailer:

A Man For All Kingsmen

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I always feel as if I'm letting on a horrible secret about myself when I admit I love the Kingsman movies -- as if loving watching Taron Egerton flounce about in tight suits is a sin or something! -- but I do, I love every absurd ounce of them and I don't care who knows it! And so even if the prequel The King's Man won't have Taron I'm still excited... I mean let's be honest, it's not like Beach Rats star Harris Dickinson isn't going to look just fine standing in for him. And hello Djimon Hounsou while we're at it...

Casual reminder that Djimon is 55 fucking years old, y'all. Anyway the movie, which co-stars Ralph Fiennes and Gemma Aterton and Matthew Goode and Stanley Tucci and Daniel Brühl and Tom Hollander and supposedly Aaron Taylor-Johnson although we don't see him anywhere in the trailer...

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... isn't out until Valentine's Day 2020, so we've got a bit of a wait on this one. Just think by then we'll have seen all of the Oscar movies  and be so sick of talking about them -- the Oscars will have aired 5 days previous, on February 9th -- that this will feel like sweet goofy relief. In that vein, of sweet relief, hit the jump for a couple more gifs of Harris & Djimon duking it out in just their high-pants...