Good Morning, World

I cannot believe there exists a photo left from Tom Hardy's Slutty MySpace Selfie Phase that I had not seen before today, but there one is -- that's definitely circa Bronson in 2008 given the stache and general beefiness. Ahh those were the days! Who knew we'd be longing for the Aughts once upon a day? Good grief.

Good Morning, World

Normally I'd crop out security people and other normies when focusing in on the spectacle of a great big movie star wandering the streets in their underpants, but with these photos of Tom Hardy doing just that (even if it's not quite the full frontal assualt of we saw from the set of Taboo that one time!) on the set of his forthcoming series Mobland I'm taking a different route. Namely because Tom's security guard is a great big hot giant of a man and is turning these photos into a whole tradie fantasy thing. Is "tradie" exclusively Australian? Because I think of it as British too but when I look it up everywhere just mentions Australia. Anyway google that yourselves if you're unaware -- point being the security dude stays in the picture. I hope they're blokes! Big bear-huggin' blokes. Hit the jump for a dozen photos...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Bronson (2008)

Bronson: How would you feel, waking up in the morning without a window? My window is a steel grid, I 'ave to put my lips against that steel grid and suck in air, that's my morning... 'cause I got no air in my cell. I have to eat, sleep and crap in that room twenty-three hours of a twenty-four hour day. You tell me, what human being deserves that? Apart from the stinking paedophile or a child killer. I don't deserve that, I done nothing on this planet to deserve that. My bed is four inches off the floor, it's a concrete bed, my toilet hasn't even got a seat on it or a lid, and I 'ave to live like this month after month after month, and the way it's looking it's year after year after year. Now is that's right then so be, but let somebody else 'ave a fucking go at it, 'cause I've had twenty-six years of this bollocks and it's time to come out, and I want the jury at my trial to come and see how I'm living. But I'm not living, I'm existing.

A very happy 55 to our beloved neon mad genius Nicholas Winding Refn today! This is a good moment to remind us all that we will be getting a new movie from him next year -- I told you about his film Her Private Hell back in April when Charles Melton joined the cast, but by all accounts they've already filmed the thing so I'm assuming a next year release. It also stars current it girl Sophie Thatcher (of Companion and Heretic and Yellowjackets fame), plus Drive My Car hunk Hidetoshi Nishijima, Diego Calva, Kristine Froseth, Dougray Scott, and Havana Rose Liu from Bottoms and Lurker. This is one drop-dead gorgeous cast y'all. Can't wait for NWR to douse them all with blood and glitter.

Tom Hardy Nine Times

I haven't watched any of Tom Hardy's latest series MobLand but our pal Dustin at Pajiba is a fan so perhaps I'll get around to it. I am feeling a bit ovwhelmed with television at the moment as I'm currently trying to carve out whatever spare minutes I can for new episodes of Hacks, The Studio, Poker Face, and then of course the final three episodes of Andor are airing tomorrow night! (And I'm just now realizing I have not mentioned my obsession with Andor here on the site proper at all, only on social media -- so... I am obsessed with Andor. There, that's said.) Anyway MobLand will go on the list, but I make no promises. (Sidenote: Have any critics made the "MobLand? More like Mo' Bland" joke? I hope so. Just for the joke's sake, not out of any ill will toward the show obviously.) That said I love this new photoshoot of Tom...

... for Esquire (read the interview here) because he looks so fucking uncomfortable, and that's how I like my Tom. Adorable and irritable and obviously wishing he was anywhere else doing anything else. I so relate to that. Also I love and would wear all of these beautiful clothes, and I am probably showing a picture of Tom's haircut here to my barber my next go-round. (Tom and I are the same age and our graying patterns are going similarly so fingers crossed it looks like his!) Anyway come join us in staring at opur belovedly curmudgeonly Tom after the jump...

I Quit Smoking 17 Years Ago Today

I keep doing these posts every May 5th -- marking the anniversary of when I quit smoking cigarettes back in 2008 with a constantly ballooning collection of photos and gifs of actors and the like smoking their sexy asses off -- even though, well, it's been 17 years yo! What else do I have to say about any of this? I haven't missed a cigarette since then -- that Chantix shit I took really did its job and then some. But then the fact hasn't changed that whenever I see an image like this...

... I swoon. It just looks cool. I can't help the rules. I'm not saying it's good -- people love violent action movies because people look cool killing people too. It just is what it is and I'm not out to rewire the human brain. I'm just here to lay the horn on the pleasure receptors as we all sink into the abyss. So come with me into this sexy smoky netherworld of seventeen smoke-free years after the jump...

Wake Up Hot Man

Very happy to have some proper Josh O'Connor news that gives me an excuse to post the two set photos of Josh O'Connor filming Challengers seen here -- two birds meet one sexy, sexy stone fox. Onto the news -- over the holiday weekend the title of the third "Daniel Craig plays gay detective Benoit Blanc" movie was released and it's Wake Up Dead Man (a terrific title if you ask me), and then last night we got the first cast-members announced too! And yes, one of them is Josh! I hope now that the second film revealed that Benoit's got himself a man at home that Josh is there to fan the flames of erotic consequence in our colorful detective's general direction. Yes, I am suggesting Josh play gay again. I don't care! he can play gay forever as far as I'm concerned. Anyway the other name announced is the terrific Cailee Spaeny of Priscilla and Civil War fame. I am good with that -- I like her a lot even if I thought Civil War was under-cooked.  I also saw a rumor going around that Tom Hardy might be joining the cast too, which would be wonderful -- Tom Hardy and Daniel Craig! They should've acted together by now. And we always love it when Tom plays something lighter -- he is funny and charming and he doesn't lean into that enough with all his grunting testosterone fests. Speaking of grunting testosterone fests... Josh O'Connor, y'all...

Good Morning, World

This is kind of a weird Matryoshka kind of rabbit hole of references within references but a photography book of photos taken from the set of Jeff Nichols' upcoming biker gang movie The Bikeriders, a movie that is based on photographer Danny Lyon's 1968 photography book of the same name, was released last week and you can buy yourself a copy right here if you're so inclined. And/or buy a copy of Lyons' legendary book if you don't own it already right here.)  The new book is titled Vandals and it's from photographer Bryan Schutmaat and it's styled to ape Lyon's photography -- just with actor hotties like Tom Hardy, Austin Butler, Jodie Comer, Boyd Holbrook, Karl Glusman, etc etc, inhabiting their roles in the movie, based off Lyon's photographs of midcentury Midwestern bikers. I told y'all last week that biker gang movies are suddenly a big thing! Anywayb after some delays The Bikeriders is finally hitting screens on June 21st -- having seen it ages and ages ago I can tell you upfront that it's a terrific movie full of terrific performances.

Big Hogs For Everybody

Biker gangs are apparently the next hot trend -- this news I am about to share is the second bit of news today announcing a movie involving them, for goodness' sake! (See my previous post on Alexander Skarsgard's upcoming "kinky queer" biker movie here.) Add all that to the fact that out this June there is Jeff Nichols' film The Bikeriders with Tom Hardy, Austin Butler, Jodie Comer, and Karl Glusman -- Glusman who co-starred in 2022's fantastically queer Please Baby Please, which I am choosing to see as the real spark that started this Biker Gang Fire -- and we're calling it a trend. Anyway onto the second Biker Gang news of the day -- Cate Blanchett is going to star in Alpha Gang from the Zellner Brothers, whose wonderful film Sasquatch Sunset (starring Jesse Eisenberg and Riley Keough as sasquatch) is out in theaters now. As with all Zellner Bros movies there's nothing straightforward about Alpha Gang though, which is described thus:

"Alpha Gang follows alien invaders sent on a mission to conquer Earth. “Disguised in human form as an armed and dangerous 1950’s leather-clad biker gang, they show no mercy… until they catch the most toxic, contagious human disease of all: emotion.”

Is that description making anybody else think of John Cameron Mitchell's dementedly under-appreciated 2017 movie How to Talk to Girls at Parties, which starred Nicole Kidman as a leather-clad punk rock alien? 

Good Morning, World

A happy 46th birthday to Mr. Tom Hardy today! This gif is taken from his reality series Driven To Extremes from a couple of years ago -- did anybody actually watch that? I never did but it looks like he put good positive content into the world. Not that we'd expect any less -- he's been doing that since MySpace. Anyway what's next for the Hard-man? He's got Jeff Nichols' biker-gang movie The Bikeriders (based on photographer Danny Lyons' famous book of portraits) which got terrific notices out of Telluride. And then more Mad Max and more Venom blah blah blah.  I never did share that Bikeriders trailer did I? Well opportunity, hello!

Karl Glusman's Come To Give Us a Ride

I am about to make several mostly-unfounded conjectures about this shirtless selfie that actor and MNPP fave Karl Glusman posted on his Instagram a few minutes ago, so bear with me. One, and this one doesn't seem like a stretch -- he appears to be in a trailer. You know, like a set trailer, not a double-wide in West Virginia. A film production trailer where actors stay when they are shooting movies. That kind of trailer. That seems pretty clear. So I looked at his IMDb to see what he might be filming right now and IMDb has two projects listed as "Filming" right now under his name -- a movie called Little Death that has him playing a drug addict who breaks into the house of a TV writer played by David Schwimmer. But the full photo seen down below with the inscription about Fight Club makes me think he's filming the other project right now -- a movie called The Bikeriders that's about, you guess it, bike riders. In this case we mean a motorcycle club. Oh and I guess I should mention this is the new movie from Take Shelter director Jeff Nichols, and Karl's co-stars, include (deep breath) Tom Hardy, Michael Shannon, Jodie Comer, Austin Butler, Boyd Holbrook, Norman Reedus, Beau Knapp, Emory Cohen, Toby Wallace, and Mike Faist. That's one hell of a cast! I suppose that is a project I should plan on paying some attention to then. Thanks, Karl's abs! Karl's abs are always doing good work.

Good Morning, World

I was going to say that you shouldn't ask me what the hell sport it is that Tom Hardy is seen practicing here, but then one of the Tumblrs I swiped these images from named it -- it is apparently "Brazilian Jiu Jitsu." Okay...

... sure? I was going to guess Judo -- and no I have no idea if those are in any way related things and whether I should feel like I made a good guess or not. Anyway more importantly and why we're here at all -- Tom has really let his fur flag fly! Hit the jump for a dozen or so "good morning" snaps...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from: 

RocknRolla (2008)

Mumbles: If I could be half the human being Bob is

at the cost of being a poof, I'd have to think about it.

Not for very long, but I'd have to pause.

Happy 50, Idris Elba!

Our Idris Archives run long
and thick, if you're interested.

Quote of the Day

If you're smart you pre-ordered NYT writer (and friend of MNPP) Kyle Buchanan's book -- titled Blood, Sweat & Chrome: The Wild and True Story of Mad Max: Fury Road about, well, the title says what it's about -- the second it was announced way back. But this excerpt that was posted on Variety today (the book's out on the 22nd) will probably push some of you hold-out pervs over the finish line (in more ways than one):

"Near the end of the process, Hardy emerged as a front-runner alongside Jeremy Renner and Armie Hammer. Hardy and Hammer even read together as part of their audition, and when Hardy gnashed his teeth and spat at his scene partner, Hammer told Miller that Hardy needed to be Max more than he did... 

Audition cameraman Todd Matthew Grossman told Buchanan, “Jeremy and Armie were equally wonderful, but there was something about Tom in the room where it felt like that was Max, without a doubt. He had that kind of suppressed emotional dryness that you’d find in a post-apocalypse and, buried underneath it, disdain for the world. There was this intensity that burned through the lens.” Miller added, “I had the same feeling about Tom that I had when Mel Gibson first walked into the room: There was a kind of edgy charm, the charisma of animals. You don’t know what’s going on in their inner depths, and yet they’re enormously attractive.”

Today's Mood

Hail A Hardy

Thanks to the heaps and piles of everything else I have going on I didn't get to see the Venom sequel in order to review it, and so I have no personal opinion to share yet. But I can't imagine if I did see it and review I'd have come up with anything more fun than my pal Kristy did at Mashable, where she calls the character "our plague prince of crime," so go read that if you're looking for Venom 2 thoughts, I recommend. I'll see it eventually (probably on streaming at this point) but I have high hopes for a dumb fun thing. And if nothing else, Tom Hardy. I mean... fucking look at him. (pic via)

He, Spider-Hardy

The one the only Tom Hardy has a big new interview with Esquire out today that's making the rounds -- specifically because he's asked superhero movie shit and if you talk about superhero movie shit then your interview makes the rounds. It still astonishes me how easy it is, but then here I am posting the same shit, so I need to shut up and move on. My angle on this information though, as you'll soon see, is all my own, since Hardy talks about getting his character of Venom together with Tom Holland's Spider-man, and, uhh, obviously I'm gonna make that shit as gay as I wanna. Here's Hardy's slightly unintelligible quote:

“Should both sides be willing, and it be beneficial to both sides, I don’t see why it couldn’t be. I hope and strongly, with both hands, push, eagerly, towards that potential, and would do anything to make that happen, within what’s right in business. But it would be foolish not to head towards the Olympic Games if you were running 100 metres, so yeah! I want to play on that field.”

I think we can all agree that we'd like to see Tom Hardy use both of his hands to push Tom Holland onto a field or whatever -- let's make it happen. Anyway obviously there's no news contained in that quote -- Shocking Newsflash: he'd like to fight Spider-man in a movie! -- so the most important thing to come out of this interview is the fact that it led me to this photo of himself in a Spidey costume that Hardy apparently posted and then deleted off of his Instagram back in 2019, which had eluded me until now:

I can see your web-shooter, Tom! I do think if Hardy sent this shot to Holland then he's probably got the Spider-twink on his side, as well. They'll work something out, no doubt! Whether it's on-screen or at home! Anyway feel free to read the entire Esquire interview over there (his avoidance of wanting to get into the Mad Max thing is deft, and I love how he drags his stuntman in to do the rest of the interview at one point) but if you just want the pretty pictures of Tommy boy then you can hit the jump right here...

Cravin' Some Kraven

Here's some news to confuse -- Aaron taylor-Johnson has just been cast as the Marvel comics Spider-man villain Kraven the Hunter in his own standalone movie from Sony. Why do I say confuse? Because I no longer have any handle on the rights overlap between Marvel and Sony on those comic-book characters in the Spider-man universe. Like... Venom isn't part of the MCU right? But they will continue making exceptions for Tom Holland's Spider-man? The only reason this is an issue I am raising is Aaron has of course already played a major character in the MCU with Quicksilver in the second Avengers film, and... well I guess he won't be making any returns via the Multiverse then, as speculated often circa WandaVision. 

As for Kraven you can read about him over here -- basically he's the world's greatest game hunter, who wants to capture the original bewebbed twink for his sexy trophy collection. Kraven is beefy and bearded and Aaron's not a bad match, physically speaking, if maybe still a little on the young side. Anyway if we don't get to see him mussing about with Tom Holland there's always Tom Hardy to muss!

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Babe: Pig in the City (1998)

Zootie: It's a dog-eat-dog world, 

and there's not enough dog to go around.

I have no idea what the context of that quote was, besides it was spoken by a chimpanzee voiced by Glenne Headly. But isn't that enough? I say yes. Hell yes. Has anyone watched the Babe movies lately? I've really been feeling an fancy lately -- I haven't seen them since they came out way way way back when. It's actually  kind of surprising how long ago that was when you run the numbers? Christ I'm old. 

But not as old as the legendary director George Miller, who's turning 76 today, and we wish him a happy. But then George Miller is 76 and about to direct another action-epic with his Furiosa prequel starring Anya Taylor-Joy in the Charlize Theron role (plus Chris Hemsworth cuz why not), not to mention has a film starring Tilda Swinton & Idris Elba coming out later this year, and I'm about to eat a limp lunch salad and stare at my computer screen for another six hours, so who's the real oldie? Oh that would be me, most definitely me. 

This reminds me Chris Hemsworth is set to be in the next MAD MAX movie (the FURIOSA prequel) and if he isn't wearing one of the costumes seen on the right I say WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING THIS FOR pic.twitter.com/2zKOxXlwV3

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) March 3, 2021

Hardy Gonna Roughneck

Well this seems like a match made in Gangster Paradise -- Tom Hardy has matched up with The Raid director Gareth Evans to make a movie for Netflix called Havoc, which will see Hardy playing a cop infiltrating a netherworld of dark criminality... or as Deadline puts it:

"The story is set after a drug deal gone wrong, when a bruised detective must fight his way through a criminal underworld to rescue a politician’s estranged son, while unraveling a deep web of corruption and conspiracy that ensnares his entire city."

I know that description is the description of a thousand different movies but I'm willing to watch what these two make of it -- The Raid sure was a punch in the nuts, in a fun way. And Tom Hardy can punch me in the nuts in a fun way any time he pleases. Please?

Who's Jake Gonna Call

So this was weird! Last week a heap of people -- a heeple? -- got added to the cast of Jake Gyllenhaal's upcoming remake of Gustav Moller's Danish thriller The Guilty from 2018 which has Jake's Southpaw director Antoine Fuqua directing. Awesome people! Jake's reuniting with his brother-in-law Peter Sarsgaard for one -- I don't believe they've co-starred in anything since Jarhead ten years ago, correct me if I'm forgetting something. But also there's Ethan Hawke and even better our beloved Riley Keough! And then there's also also Paul Dano, who co-starred with Jake in both Okja and Prisoners...

Should I rewatch Prisoners? pic.twitter.com/qrIau3i11V

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) November 12, 2020

... and Da’Vine Joy Randolph who was so so so very good in Dolemite is My Name last year. That's a great effing cast, right? So why am I saying this is, and I quote, "weird"? Because the 2018 version of The Guilty is best known for being a one-person movie! It starred (the very handsome) Jakob Cedergren as a (very handsome)  9-1-1 operator (do they call it 9-1-1 in Denmark?) who attempts to unravel an ongoing crime via the telephone call that comes in. Its essentially a radio-program playing out across Cedergreen's (very handsome) face for ninety minutes.

Jake first announced he wanted to make this remake a few years ago but I wasn't surprised when it got moved to the front of the pile recently, given this "one man show' factor made filming in the middle of a pandemic a non-issue. But... now they're hiring all these actual actors that are not Jake and I don't know what to think. Are they being hired for just their voices? It's not unheard of (HA GET IT) -- Tom Hardy's movie Locke, the movie that only starred Tom Hardy as he drove around and called people on the phone, used bonafide terrific actors like Ruth Wilson and Andrew Scott and Tom Holland and Olivia fucking Colman to supply those voices. 

But maybe not? Maybe Fuqua & Co have something different up their sleeve and I don't want to be too judgmental out the gate because we always scream, "Do something new with a remake!" It's just... without the "one man show" gimmick of The Guilty it's just another 9-1-1 operator movie like that Halle Berry movie The Call and I don't think Halle Berry even wants to remember The Call.