Bisexual Lighting: The Movie

We have a U.S. release date for Nicolas Winding Refn's first movie in a decade y'all! Her Private Hell will be opening on July 24th thanks to the stellar folks at Neon -- this will be after it bows at Cannes this month for those bastards who go to Cannes. (Fuck you, bastard people.)  I've posted about this movie a lot previously because duh -- we fucking worship NWR. But this thing's also got one of his most gorgeous casts (which is saying a lot given his last movie that had both Alessandro Nivola and Karl Glusman in its cast) -- Sophie Thatcher, Charles Melton, Havana Rose Liu, Diego Calva, Drive My Car star Hidetoshi Nishijima, Parker Sawyers aka...

... the beautiful man who had lots of sex with Henry Golding in the movie Monsoon. Also the model Lola Corfixen and the oldest person in the cast, one Dougray Scott, who nevertheless remains very much fuckable at 60 years old. And listen -- not every movie needs to star a cast of nothing but hotties. But I do look at the ones that do -- the ones being shot by a hyper-stylist like Refn especially -- as extra special gifts. Let's hope that NWR used his decade off making the most gloriously obtuse and sexy disturbing television shows since Twin Peaks as perverted fuel for this big-screen return!

Good Morning, World

So who out there saw The Housemaid? I did, I did, although I got to it pretty late -- I didn't see it in theaters, I only got around to it once it'd hit VOD. Anyway it came out on 4K blu-ray yesterday so I'm here to say that it's perfectly fun and twisty trash; I do like this turn that director Paul Feig's made in his career, from straight-up comedies to camp thrillers. He brings his queer-seeming sensibilities (I still don't understand how he's married to a woman but whatever, there's room under the rainbow for him, says me) to movies like this and the Simple Favor series... by which I mean he films Brandon Sklenar as he's seen in these gifs here (or these even nuder ones here) and he films Henry Golding as seen in this older post. Seriously. Nobody's exploiting beautiful dudes like Paul Feig is right now.

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... cradled tight between Henry Golding's calves.

(via)

Good Morning, World

Henry Golding being a good boy.

Catching Up With Matty

Those of us who worship at the altar of Matthias Schoenaerts are not fed well -- he hasn't been in anything since The Regime with Kate Winslet aired ten and a half lifetimes ago (otherwise known as uhh one year ago) and that's the way it's been for awhile -- one project a year, here and there, sporadically. We cannot surive this way, Matthias! Thanksfully there was some news on the Matty front this morning though -- he's signed in to star in a movie called Le Cowboy which has the super original storyline of a criminal roped into doing "one last job" that involves kidnapping a girl but then the two bond... yeah, we've seen this movie a thousand times before. Whatever. I'll watch him put his spin on it! The writer-director is Shane Atkinson whose film LaRoy Texas starring Steve Zahn and John Magaro played Tribeca last year and left not a huge impression on me, but I remember some people digging it. 

Anyway that spot of new news made me realize that if we're lucky we might be coming to an end on the Schoenaerts drought -- I had completely forgotten for one that he is playing the bad guy in the Supergirl movie that DC hired I Tonya director Craig Gillespie to direct and which has apparently already been filmed. And he's also somehow in The Old Guard 2 even though (spoiler) he died in the first one, and we just got the first image from that movie last week. (See below.) So that must be coming out soon, I guess.

First look at THE OLD GUARD sequel! (And here's to hoping everybody's favorite ancient crime-fighting homosexuals Marwan Kenzari & Luca Marinelli have added Henry Golding into their mix)

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— Jason Adams (@jamnpp.bsky.social) April 23, 2025 at 12:50 PM

And then of course there's The Way of the Wind, Terrence Malick's now many years in the making movie about Jesus (yes, Christ) that has Matthias playing the disciple Peter.  We first posted about that movie getting started SIX YEARS AGO. With Malick though who knows -- he could take another six years. The names in that stacked cast are endless -- Mark Rylance, John Rhys-Davies, Joseph Fiennes, Ben Kingsley, FRANZ ROGOWSKI, Eileen Atkins, Aidan Turner, Mathieu Kassovitz. Also since it's Malick half of those people could end up on the cutting room floor -- it could be three hours of Mark Rylance spinning in a field for all we know. 

ETA an hour after posting this Netflix unloaded some more images from The Old Guard 2 including one very much confirming Matthias' presence therein, and another one of eternal boyfriends Luca Marinelli & Marwan Kenzari, and far be it from me not to add them to this post!

The Old Guard 2 is out on July 2nd.

Oh and here's the trailer too since we're here:

Good Morning, World

What a blessed, blessed day and a blessed, blessed event -- Paul Feig got Henry Golding to get his ass out, y'all! And what an ass it is. Why you been hiding that beautiful booty, Hank? These gifs are from Another Simple Favor, the fresh-on-Prime sequel to the popular 2018 comedy-thriller starring Anna Kendrick and Blake Lively as suburban besties with more secrets than you could fill a cupcake pan with -- Henry played Lively's husband in the first one and (spoiler alert) he's back as her ex-husband in this one, but marital estrangement didn't stop him from showing up and getting that ass... excuse me, DAT ASS...

... out! And for that we owe him and Paul Feig their flowers. I am sorry for all of you that you'll probably mainly be witnessing this scene on the small screen; I saw a press screening of this movie on a big screen and Dat Ass twenty feet tall? It knocked the wind right out of my lungs. Between Henry's golden ass and Will Poulter's last week we truly are living in a sterling age for meaty butts and I'm feasting! Hit the jump for the rest of the gifs I happily made (although be forewarned there is a BIG spoiler down there at the very end)...

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... making a run for it with Henry Golding. (via)

How Ungentlemanly of Me

Guy Ritchie's testosterone caper The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is out in theaters today -- watch the trailer here if you missed it. Starring Henry Cavill and Alan Ritchson and Henry Golding and Alex Pettyfer and Hero Fiennes Tiffin plus that lady from Ambulance the movie is basically just a beefed-up (literally -- I mean look at Alan Ritchson there) version of every men-on-a-mission war movie that Hollywood's been churning out since the 1950s at least. I suppose there are earlier examples than that but they really seemed to come into their own in the '50s, when we decided we really needed to solidify our post-WWII savoir complex. Anyway this one isn't American propoganda, given the British director and international cast -- it's sort of Winston Churchill Propoganda but really it's not anybody propoganda. It's just a goof. And as such it's fine enough, although I really think when people have been calling it "Guy Ritchie's Inglourious Basterds" they've been underselling just how thoroughly this movie is xeroxing Tarantino at times, beat for beat and character for character. Basterds actor Til Schweiger has to play the Chistoph-Waltz-ish colorful Nazi this time instead of playing the over-indulgent Nazi killer that he did previously -- it's Ritchson now who plays that part. The lady from Ambulance puts on a shiny dress for the last act a la Diane Kruger, all for the big party slash showdown. It's remixed enough to be different enough but Tarantino should still probably toss a pie at Ritchie the next time they're in the same room. Anyway yesterday I posted some photos from the movie's premiere where I also mentioned that I got violently sick from food poisoning in the middle of watching this movie so you should obviously take my opinion with a great big grain of salt! I was clearly somewhat distracted! It's a fun enough slab of muscular entertainment. Just the way Henry Cavill likes it.

Pics of the Day

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If I hadn't gotten sick on Monday (as detailed in too-fine-of-detail this morning here) this would've been a much bigger deal around here -- as seen above I went to the world premiere of Guy Ritchie's new movie The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare that night here in NYC and took some photos of the cast (plus some producer dude named Jerry Bruckheimer), including the beautiful Henrys Cavill and Golding (and Zaga for that matter). All of those can be seen above on my Insta. Unfortunately the experience was ruined by the food poisoning that consumed every cell of my body mid-movie, so looking at these photos now makes me feel queasy again -- not really the Pavlovian response I want to have when looking at the Henrys; I am hoping it passes with time. Maybe more on the movie later? I don't know. I'm barely keeping myself afloat today.

Henry Cavill Gives You Ample Reason...

... to see the new Guy Ritchie movie.

Via this new clip:

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is out April 19th.

Go On 'n Goon Out, Henry Cavill

As twas foretold by yesterday's post of Henry Cavill pictures, the trailer for Guy Ritchie's The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare starring Henry Cavill, Alex Pettyfer, Alan Ritchson, Eiza Gonzalez, and Henry Golding has indeed arrived this morning -- it feels like a Kingsman movie meets Inglourious Basterds (right down to the presence Til Schweiger) but I don't really mean that to dismiss it; I actually think it looks fun? Dumb but fun and if Guy Ritchie can perfect "dumb but fun" he'll be doing better than he normlaly does. 

Ungentlemanly is out on April 19th.

Swash Me Buckle, Henry Cavill

While we've already gawped at Henry Cavill's lotta-look on the set of Guy Ritchie's upcoming movie The Ministtry of Ungentlemanly Warfare it's good to have an update via the man himself -- Henry shared these two official photos of him in character on his Insta today, along with the info that a trailer will appear tommorow. I was surprised when I checked -- it's out on April 19th! That's not too far away now. This movie is a veritable who's-who of beefcakery, also starring Alan Ritchson, Alex Pettyfer, Henry Golding, Til Schweiger, Hero Fiennes Tiffin, plus Dunkirk twink Freddie Fox is apparently playing James Bond author Ian Fleming? I have no idea what nonsense to expect from this thing but biceps will be served. 

Tis Tribeca Time

I suppose since I am having trouble focusing today -- what with the apocalypse and all -- I should go ahead and take an easy minute laying out a quick reminder that the Tribeca Film Festival officially kicks off today! I will be reviewing several movies from the fest for Pajiba (and possibly elsewhere) so stay tuned for that -- indeed I will be cramming about two dozen movies over the next week, so you should really just prepare yourselves for me not posting a lot here, except reviews and links to said reviews, during this time. I will actually be in screenings for almost all of tomorrow and Friday (sidenote: one of them is called Downtown Owl and it co-stars the gorgeous Henry Golding, hence the use of him for this post) and so I mean it, and I mean it immediately, when I say I won't be posting a lot. Keep track of me on my socials, as the kids say! And let's go watch some movies, and not die, from the apocalypse!

Who Wore it Best?

When Henry Cavill first grew his legendary Mission Impossible stache there was a lot of "Holy Tom of Finland drawing!" grunting, but leave it to director Guy Ritchie to take homoerotic fetishism to the next level and legitimately costume Cavill like a Tom of Finland character for his next movie, the WWII-set The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, which I talked about previously right here. Photos from the set (also featuring Henry Golding and Alex Pettyfer) popped up today (see more here) that have Henry fully decked out and, as per usual with this particular brand of fetishism, it's conflicting! But still I must ask! (Thx to Fiona for the suggestion!)

online polls

Pic of the Day

(click to embiggen) Guy Ritchie has been very busy, and by "busy" I mean he has been rounding up all of the hot dudes I post about all the time and stuffing them into about half a dozen movies that he's working on all at once. That's really the only explanation for how we've gotten to the point of filming this one and checking my archives I realize I never posted about it before today. "This one" is called The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare and it stars (deep breath) Henry Cavill, Alex Pettyfer (somebody hired him!), Alan Ritchson, Hero Fiennes-Tiffin, and last but hardly hardly least Henry Golding. And despite how old-timey this photo that Henry Cavill posted looks this movie is set during World War II and is about some rogue soldiers getting gathered up to (what else) fight dem Nazis. I guess it could be less a daguerreotype like I thought it was at first and more like those famous faded photos of sexy WWII sailors like the ones gathered in this book (a personal fave). ETA here are two more photos after the jump...

Henry Golding Two Times

Pic of the Day

Luca Marinelli and Marwan Kenzari, who play the ancient gay lovers Joe and Nicky (I love that they're immortal super-assassins named "Joe" and "Nicky" lol) in The Old Guard movies, were spotted together on the set in Trieste, Italy this week, and there they are (via). They were of course our favorite part of the first film so we're very glad to see them back being hot and gay for the sequel. (Also big props to Marwan on wearing a mask!) This is the second photo of them that we've seen on set, click here for the first. 

Henry Golding Four Times

A few more photos of Henry Golding modeling for David Yurman have been released (via) -- I wouldn't blame you if you forgot the previous three photos since they were dropped five entire months ago, so you can click here for a refresher. They're just more of the same sexy browns and golds... taking his name literally there, ain't they? Anyway career-wise did you see the first picture of Henry Golding on the set of The Old Guard sequel alongside Marwan Kenzari & Luca Marinelli, the immortal homosexuals we all loved so much in the first movie? I guess Henry is filling the hole left by Matthias Schoenaerts and yeah I'm just gonna see myself out after writing that sentence. Hit the jump for three more pics...

Pics of the Day

Netflix has just dropped three more photos from the forthcoming Persuasion movie which I have mentioned once or twice or thrice here upon this very website -- because it stars Dakota Johnson, Cosmo Jarvis, and Henry Golding, and because I love all three of those actors very much. (See the first two photos they released of Cosmo and of Henry here.) And they have also dropped the film's premiere date, which is July the 15th. What else is July the 15th? That's my birthday, baby! This movie was officially made just for it, it turns out! I wouldn't be surprised if we get a trailer soon, but for now let's just enjoy staring at Cosmo & Co after the jump...

Henry Golding Three Times

While we wait for Henry to star opposite Cosmo Jarvis and Dakota Johnson in the latest adaptation of Jane Austen's Persuasion -- as far as I've seen there's still no release date announced but it's long past having filmed as this photo from the set last May and these first official photos dropped in June made perfectly clear -- I suppose we'll just have to make due with Henry... persuading... us to buy some David Yurman jewelry or whatever, which is what these photos purport to be advertising (via thx Mac). Whatever, he's persuading my pants anyway. (Yes, my pants make all of the purchasing decisions in my household.) (If that ain't the truth.) Anyway this brings another question to mind -- do you guys think we'll ever see the Crazy Rich Asians sequel at this point? It's been four full years now. Me and Meryl, we got doubts.