Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Your Friends and Neighbors (1998)

Terri: We can talk. I just don't want
something up my ass while we're doing it.

Happy 25 to this movie, which is a lot of movie indeed.
Anybody seen it lately? It's been a long time for me
but everything Jason Patric related is burned into my brain...

The Other White Jason

Only just now noticed here at the tail-end of the day on the verge of my three-day-weekend that it's Jason Patric's 55th birthday today, and so I don't have time to properly celebrate -- I'd have loved to give you a list of my five favorite performances from this underrated actor, but that'll have to wait until such a time presents itself I suppose. I'd love to hear from y'all in the comments about your favorite Jason Patric moments though. Give our Jason Patric Archives a scan if you need a refresher. And if you include Speed 2 well at least give his wet jeans a shout-out...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

After Dark My Sweet (1990)

Collie: When a man stops caring what happens, all the strain is lifted from him. Suspicion and worry and fear, all things that twist his thinking out of focus are brushed aside, and he can see people exactly as they are at last - as I saw Fay then: weak and frightened but basically as good as a person could be and hating herself for not being better. Suddenly, the only thing that mattered was that she live, it was the only way my having lived would make any sense. It was why I had been made like I was - to do something for her that she could not do for herself, and then to protect her so that she could go on, so that she could have the reason for living that I'd never had.

Jason Patric is by my knowledgable estimation one of the most beautiful men ever put on screen -- he was definitely the most responsible for my lifelong fixation on men with dark hair, light eyes, and plenty of chest-hair -- and After Dark My Sweet might just have captured the most beautiful he ever was. And so it seems important to wish this film a happy 30 today -- it was released in theaters on August 24th 1990 (the same day as The Witches!) and it went on to have a long shelf-life as a VHS tape I would rent from the video-store so constantly I probably should have just bought a copy even though videos still cost like 75 bucks back then.

That said I haven't seen this film in a good 20 years -- have you? I know Roger Ebert thought it was terribly underrated, and I am sure if I do revisit it it will fit like a warm, warm glove. Anyway I've posted a few shots from this film before but that really doesn't do it justice, as far as it's impact on my personhood goes, so if you'd like to hit the jump I've made a nice plentiful gallery of reasons why we're really here talking about this movie a full thirty years on...

Good Morning, World

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This morning we're wishing the film director Joel Schumacher a happy 80th birthday with a hint of Jason Patric In Lost Boys Goodness -- if you read that massive, and massively entertaining, interview with Schumacher at Vulture that was making the rounds earlier this week then you probably got the sense that he shared something in common with the rest of us sentient beings during that period which was a healthy crush on Jason Goddamned Patric. A'duh! I wanted to pick a quote from that interview to give "Quote of the Day" treatment but I was having trouble choosing just one -- it's one of those ones for the ages. So click on over and read the whole damn thing. True story: I was once at a party at Bret Easton Ellis' apartment and Schumacher was there! I didn't talk to him though. That's it. That's the story. All of my celeb stories (well, except for the Kevin Williamson one) end the same way. "I saw them across the room but didn't say anything." Funny that Joel didn't bring that up in his interview, isn't it? I'm sure it left a deep impression on him.

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... flying high with Aaron Taylor-Johnson.

The problem with drug movies is no matter how disgusting and grimy they inevitably get they always end up making me want to do drugs -- I haven't done drugs in decades (... crack doesn't count, right?) and yet my main takeaway from this here trailer for A Million Little Pieces starring Aaron Taylor-Johnson and his incredible edible abdominal muscles is gimme some of that! I'll smoke that shit!

That's the rub on drug movies -- you gotta glamorize the first part so the fall works, and who wouldn't trade seeing a backwards-headed baby scuttling across a ceiling for a second for the opportunity to bounce up and down on Ewan McGregor's dick? So Jason Patric and Timothee Chalamet get all sweaty with some dark eye circles -- I like them better that way anyway!

I am of course (mostly) kidding -- I just find drug movies and the addiction narrative played out on screen. I don't enjoy the experience of watching these movies, and their self help ethos grates on my nerves. Trainspotting works, Requiem For a Dream works, but in general these flicks tend to be too moribund and goody-goody for my tastes. All that said... I'll obviously be seeing AMLP the second it's out, because Aaron. And Charlie!

Can't forget Charlie. 

Here's the just released trailer:

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AMLP hits theaters on December 6th.
Hit the jump for more gifs from the trailer...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Speed (1994)

Howard: See, I'm in charge here! I drop this stick,
and they pick your friend here up with a sponge!
Are you ready to die, friend?
Harry: Fuck you!
Howard: Oh! In two hundred years we've gone
from "I regret but I have one life to give
for my country" to "Fuck you!"?

Jan de Bont's glorious actioner Speed came out 25 years ago today. There's a nice piece over at The Film Experience today commemorating the anniversary if you'd like to read more -- mostly I'm just curious right at this moment what the hell happened to JDB's career? He only directed five films, and hasn't directed anything since the Lara Croft sequel in 2012. And besides my mostly irrational love for Twister his directorial career has mostly been junk...

... Jason Patric in wet jeans aside Speed 2: Cruise Control is unfathomably awful, and the less spoken about his Haunting remake, the less thought about that abomination, the better. Still you say his name and I still think of Speed and that's not a bad calling card in the slightest, so I'm surprised he's not still working. Even just as a cinematographer, given that his bonafides with Paul Verhoeven are what got his career started. I mean...

... the man shot The 4th Man, and that ain't bupkis. But perhaps it's the ongoing Keanussaince that is our best bet for peace and prosperity all the same. Keanu for President!

Alden Ehrenreich's Solo Show

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Hey Alden. (See more of that shoot here.) Speaking of the new banner is from the trailer for the upcoming military film called The Yellow Birds that stars Tye Sheridan and Alden alongside Toni Collette, Jason Patric, and Jennifer Aniston. Watch: 

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(via, thx Mac) I checked IMDb and just judging by the character's names it's insane that Jason Patric isn't supposed to be related to Alden in the film - there are shots where I mistook one for the other (which either says real good things about how Jason Patric is looking these days or real bad things about how Alden looks, given their thirty-three year age difference.)

It's also kind of funny given how similar Tye & Alden look at times. Fans of broad-faced dewy-lipped brunettes rejoice!
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Would watch this remake of PERSONA pic.twitter.com/W4lHRdrz5c

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) May 3, 2018

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That movie's out on demand May 17th - I remember hearing about this movie years ago; they're clearly capitalizing on the Solo movie and Alden's uptick in recognition, as well they should.

Speaking of tickets just went on sale for Solo last night, just in time for May the Fourth, and I bought a pair even though I did so with only half-hearted enthusiasm. I'm a little franchised out. Is anybody else feeling it? I suppose my bitterness towards Infinity War isn't helping matters, but two to three Star Wars movies and two to three Marvel movies every year is going to be the death of us all. I don't know if I can keep doing this! You're tearing me apart, Lisa! Ahem. Anyway for May the Fourth let's do this...

free polls

Who Wore It Best?

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Tonight I'm seeing the National Theatre Live screening of last year's London-based Cat on a Hot Tin Roof production that starred Sienna Miller and Jack O'Connell - we've posted some pictures of Jack in the show previously, see here and here and here, which tell the entire story of why we're going out of our way to see this. Anyway my enthusiasm's got me ruminating on Bricks of yesteryear...

... and while it wouldn't be fair to pit anybody against Paul Newman's classic turn in the 1958 film there are other options to opt! Mainly the two that sprung to mind were Jason Patric in the 2003 stage version opposite Ashley Judd, and Benjamin Walker's just a couple of years back opposite Scarlett Johansson. So I ask you...

survey hosting

Good Morning, Jason

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A happy 49th birthday to our forever-crush Jason Patric today -- sitting right on the verge of 50, he is! These pictures are from a 1997 movie called Incognito (no, I have no idea) but he still looks entirely do-able in 2015, so good for him. If only his career could say the same thing. I never bothered watching that movie Downloading Nancy with mario Bello, which was really the last project of his I've heard anything about, it had some controversy apparently because of the dark subject matter. Did any of you see it?

I Am Link

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--- Panther Man - Marvel did their big announcement yesterday with a lady superhero movie in Captain Marvel and a black superhero in Black Panther getting announced - Chadwick Boseman will be playing the latter. (Although I'd pay good money to see him play the former.) What I appreciate most though is this infographic here at Comics Alliance laying out when all these movies, Marvel and DC and so forth, are coming out via timeline - it's so ridiculously over-booked, you guys. We're going to be up to our eyeballs in spandex for the rest of our lives. (And hey if it's Chris Evans wearing that spandex, I am willing to make that sacrifice.)
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--- Horror Revival - Didn't Stephen King say not too long ago that he was planning on slowing down or not writing any more horror or something? I swear I'd checked that box off in my mind and yet what's happened instead is he never stops and I've been unable to keep up with it. (I still haven't read Doctor Sleep, for goodness sake.) He's got a new book called Revival, which sounds like it's his take on Frankenstein (what was I just saying about everything being about Frankenstein right now?), coming out in a couple of weeks and Rolling Stone's got the first excerpt from it. They also apparently have an interview with him in the print magazine.

--- John Lives - I suppose it's Halloween-time so John Carpenter is bound to be in the air, but I feel as if it's been an especially Carpenter-ish few weeks - this piece at Rolling Stone on how underrated his 1988 flick They Live is is just one signifier of countless that I've received that he's in the air. Maybe he can make a new movie then?

--- And Speaking of horror directing legends, Wes Craven's not keeping himself cooped up - he is about to release a five-issue comic book series with Steve Niles called Coming of Rage, which was his answer to the joke starting "A Vampire, a Werewolf and a Zombie walk into a bar." Apparently he's planning on turning it into a TV series, too. You can buy it right now at Amazon!

--- And Speaking of Wes Craven and horror television, the Scream TV show is set to come out next year at this time, and I loved Manuel's take on the news at The Film Experience that we might not be seeing the ghostface mask because of rights issues.

--- Slip On Something Horrible - Also at The Film Experience Nathaniel's list of the ten best 2014 movie-related Halloween costumes is a pip - I don't know why a Boxtroll costume didn't occur to me while watching the movie but totally! That's a great idea.

--- 1313 Stud - You'd think what with the blending of horror and beefcake I'd have seen more David DeCoteau movies than I have... basically I have seen scenes from a few of his movies, and no more. (The Sean Faris scenes in The Brotherhood 2 come to mind often though.) I think it's terrific he's been so successful at gaying up horror and exploiting guy-parts in a genre formerly known for just the girl ones anyway, even if the movies themselves are, uh, tough go's. Here's a nice chat with him (thanks Mac) about his whole thing; have any of you seen his "stab at seriousness" called Leather Jacket Love Story?

--- Hamm Game - This interview with Lisa Kudrow at Vulture (thanks Mac) had me laughing so hard I teared up - it was the bit about Jon Hamm's character on Web Therapy that did it. The interview's mainly about The Comeback and I had to skip the paragraphs where they got into specifics on that since I'm trying to keep myself fresh for the November 9th premiere.

--- Cold Rain - The Playlist is giving away a copy of some movie called The Prince on Blu-ray; I hadn't heard of the film until I saw this post and I only took note of this post because hey look it stars Korean superstar and hot-cake-of-beef Rain. Although you wouldn't know it from any of the actual promotional materials - although you see his face all over the movie's trailer his name is never mentioned; Bruce Willis and Jason Patric get sold, and hell even 50 Cent gets his name in the trailer and it looks like he's all but a cameo. Fuck that noise, some of us will only see this crap for Rain, dummies!

Good Morning, World

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Happy 48, Jason Patric! And it's not Aaron Eckhart's birthday but happy Tuesday, Aaron! This scene from Your Friends & Neighbors makes me happy, I feel like I should spread the happy around. Happy happy happy. It also makes me feel the need for a "Today's Fanboy Delusion" post, cuz today I'd rather be...

... dropping the soap with these two.

Lemme tell ya what.

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Rush Rush Hurry Hemsworth Come To Me

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The good people behind the marketing for Ron Howard's upcoming race-car movie Rush - am I the only one who pictures a sexily strung-out and bearded Jason Patric every time with that title? - have finally realized that nobody gives a crap about Ron Howard's dour looking race-car movie (all due respect to Daniel Bruhl, who's a terrific actor) and have decided to market it as if it's Chris Hemsworth Is Shirtless: The Movie. I approve.

I mean I also totally approve of Natalie Dormer, aka Joffrey's betrothed the gay-brothered Margaery Tyrell on A Game of Thrones, but I approve of her the most when she shares the screen with Chris Hemsworth's nipple. Facts is facts!

Who Wore It Best?

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Vampire Sunglasses?

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poll by twiigs.com

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Figure we might as well keep on keepin' on

having an especially vampy day today.

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Good Morning, World

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We're baaaaack.

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Good Morning, World

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And a happy 45th birthday to one of MNPP's preeminent crushes, the actor Jason Patric. Looking sweaty and sleazy and drowning in alcohol has never in the history of ever worked for anybody better than it did for him in After Dark, My Sweet, and that's a cold hard emphasis on the latter fact.