Good Morning, World

A happy 49 to Stranger Things and Game of Thrones actor Tom Wlaschiha today -- no I wouldn't have guessed he was about to turn 50 either. Dude is aging real good (although the above photo is a couple of years old -- see the Instagram post down below for a snap circa yesterday that truly proves my point.) Anyway as I was saying on Twitter over the weekend that based on the renewed interest in an old video of him that I posted circa Thrones Tom is apparently the human version of Kate Bush's song "Running Up That Hill" in that the tweens have discovered him, and they are into it. Good taste, tweens! See lots more of him in our archives!

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Tom Wlaschiha Seven Times

What an unexpected treat it's been, seeing Tom Wlaschiha get some attention again thanks to the latest season of Stranger Things, after some time uhh you not, not having that -- Tom first caught our eye back in 2011 the very second he got cast in the role of "Jaqen H'ghar" in Game of Thrones and I did a big gratuitous post about him; even though the show under-used him (he was after all playing a character who could shape-shift) I still posted about him a lot, but it's been a minute since he's been on anything I have watched. But now...

Spent about half this season of #StrangerThings4 wishing these two’s scenes were gonna turn into a MIDNIGHT EXPRESS homage pic.twitter.com/Y8a3samatn

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) June 4, 2022

... I watch. And I like. Not just the sexual tension between him and David Harbour (not just that) -- I have seen some people complaining about the recent batch of episodes as being too scattered and bloated but I liked them? I don't necessarily disagree with those complaints, but if they hadn't had the probably superfluous Russian Prison storyline I wouldn't have gotten my sexual tension, so bring on the bloat if you ask me. Anyway these photos are from the ever reliable Zoo Magazine (via) and there are more after the jump...

Good Morning, World

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Inside of the same issue of GQ Germany that's got Henry Cavill on its cover another fine fellow is photographed - this fine fellow here, funny enough! (pics via) We all know Tom Wlaschiha (well those of us in the know do, anyhow) as the face-shifter Jaqen H'ghar on A Game of Thrones; even though he hasn't confirmed it yet (that I've seen anyway) I think it's safe to assume he'll be showing up in the final season since he's a big part of Arya's story-line that hasn't been wrapped up. Sidenote: here's the latest teaser:
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Anyway what do I really know - even with that "teaser" it's been so long since GOT was on I don't remember anything of what's happening anymore. Well except for Kit Harington's Butt. I remember Kit Harington's Butt. That's my lodestar - I think of Kit Harington's Butt and I remember happenings on the last season outward from there. Wow okay I'm rambling about butts (a totally new development) - hit the jump for the rest of Tom's shoot...

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... rolling in the hay with Tom Wlaschiha.

On his Instagram Tom captioned this picture "Auf der Alm, da gibt's koa Sünd'" which turns out to be the title of a German sex comedy from 1974 (also known as Bottoms Up, which is the greatest title ever) - do any of my German readers get the cultural reference a little better? Is this movie well-known? Anyway the thing is on YouTube so if anybody wants to watch some Alpine booby humor have at it!

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Good Morning, World

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I was going to wish Game of Thrones' fine faceless man Tom Wlaschiha a happy 44th birthday today but then these gifs (from a 2013 film called Ohne Gnade!, aka Without Mercy!) were the ones I came up with for this post and anything "Happy"  or "Good" for that matter seems semi-incongruous beside him gnashing and wailing in the shower. Hrm. Way to spoil everything, Tom. Now you strip off all of you clothes and go take a shower in front of a video camera and you think about what you have done. (For more Tom click right here, but especially here.)

Good Evening, Gratuitous Clemens Schick

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The German actor Clemens Schick is turning 45 today -- Schick's been on my radar for a little bit but not nearly as long as he should've been; I first looked him up last year thanks to his turn as a side-kick of Edgar Ramirez' in the Point Break remake.

But he's been around much longer than that, having had small roles going back as far as Enemy at the Gates (opposite Jude Law) and as Mads Mikkelsen's bald-headed sidekick in Casino Royale.

And yes he is almost always playing bad guys and their evil sidekicks, with his icy blue eyes and sexy facial scar and that general air of dangerous Germanic devilry. Who doesn't want a good lusty villain once in awhile? (Or all the while?) (Okay definitely all the while.) The thing that surprised me about Clemens, since he's such a tough guy on the surface, was finding out he's openly gay.

We don't get to do nearly enough openly gay great big Gratuitous posts around here, so this is a treat. I think he came out right around the time he co-starred opposite the adorable Wagner Moura in Futuro Beach (aka Praia do Futuro) a German-Brazilian movie about the steamy love affair between a lifeguard (Moura) and a man he saved from drowning. 

I have been meaning to watch this movie for ages and ages but I haven't gotten around to it yet - have any of you seen it? There are some pretty sexy gifs down below of the two of them in the film; more incentive to finally get around to it. 

Anyway here's another fun factoid about Schick: yes he is openly gay but he's had explicit (and I do mean explicit) sex with a woman on film, in a 2011 short called Hotel Desire. You'll see some gifs from that below too but I had to edit them somewhat because he seriously goes all the way. All the way.

That's some impressive dedication to one's craft, you guys. He's nearly as dedicated to exploiting himself as I am to exploiting him in return (nearly) -- if you hit the jump you'll see over one hundred more (occasionally very NSFW) pictures of him...
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Tom Wlaschiha's Water Boy

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I have no idea what's going on in this video for GQ Germany of Game of Thrones actor Tom Wlaschiha taking a bath with some dude named Simon Lohmeyer (whose GQ profile describes as a "Model, Globetrotter and by his own description '21st-Century Hippie' -- sighhhh) but it sure is hot, so here it is...

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Googling Lohmeyer only took me down a rabbit-hole of weird German shit I don't understand, so if anybody knows what the hell he's all about, please do share. Because it's hot weird German shit...

... but weird nonetheless. Seems like he maybe does a whole series for GQ that's about him taking baths with dudes? I'm in! As long as Tom's there too.

Good Morning, Belated Tom Wlaschiha

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Make-up time! Yesterday was Game of Thrones actor Tom Wlaschiha's 43rd birthday but he got bumped from his "Good Morning" spot when Tom Hiddleston propped up his bulge as if his life depended upon it. We felt bad about that because we don't get to post about Tom (whose last name we still have no idea how to pronounce even though I'm pretty sure you guys already explained it to me one time) often but when we do, we like it. Oh and also we found a scene from a 1999 German movie called Ich wuensch dir Liebe (does that translate to "I Desire Love" or what?) where he climbs out of a bathtub wearing nothing but some soap bubbles and a smirk; that matters as well. Hit the jump for the NSFWness...

I Quit Smoking Eight Years Ago Today

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Here a puff, there a puff, everywhere a puffing poof - well it's that time of year again! For eight years we've been commemorating the fall of the house of nicotine, when I gave up the bad habit for... well, other bad habits. Anyway every May 5th we say "Hooray for me and my lungs!" with photographs of attractive gentlemen-folk doing damage to their own in the name of sexiness.

And here we are again. We've previously posted enough smoking pictures to blot out the sun itself - you can see Year 1 right here, you can see Year 2 right here, you can see Year 3 right here, you can see Year 4 right here, and you can see Year 5 right here, and you can see Year 6 right here, and you can see Year 7 right here. And with all of those that have come before in mind let us now hit the jump to suck down on 50-something more men for Year 8...

Tom Wlaschiha Seven Times

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His eyes, his eyes, my kingdom for his eyes. Then give me another kingdom so I can give it up for his lips. So on, so forth. (Click here to see lots of previously posted pictures of Mr. "Man Who's Last Name I Still Have No Idea How To Pronounce.") Anyway so happy to see the German actor get some face-time (I said "face" cuz he's a "Faceless Man" ha ha, god I am a nerd) in the new trailer for the sixth season of A Game of Thrones -- I do wish that one of Arya's lessons in The House of the Black and White, where Jaqen H'ghar reigns, was how to cut hair though, because god I hate his wig. Here's the trailer:

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Do Dump or Marry: Meine Deutschen Lieblings

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I can't believe I'm just now seeing this -- GQ Germany did a photo-shoot and a trio of interviews with actors Alexander Fehling (he just played Carrie's boyfriend on the last season of Homeland) and Tom Wlaschiha (he's the Faceless Dude testing Arya on Game of Thrones) and Max Riemelt (he's the one who can't keep it in his pants on Sense8), you guys! It's more than I can handle, almost. I haven't even translated the interviews to read them yet but looking at the pictures I knew I had to ask you guys to Do Dump or Marry them. If you need more, you know, information, click the links on their names, and then have at it in the comments!

I Am Link

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--- Queer Pioneer - There are a couple of great series coming up at movie-houses here in New York City that I feel the need to mention, even if only briefly. First, MoMA is doing a retrospective of queer-punk Bruce La Bruce's films (stuff like Hustler White and Raspberry Reich) at the end of April - the most awkward movie-going experience of my life was in college sitting between my best friend and this guy I had a huge crush on while watching the X-rated version of Skin Flick, which is basically skinhead porn. I know I put on an aggressive front here at the blog but in real life I'm kind of a wallflower and I was not comfortable in that place! Point being I probably won't go to any of these movies because I'm too shy but I do think BLB can be interesting. Behind closed doors. (I really like Otto, or Up With Dead People.)

--- Slasher Up - The other exciting movie series coming up here in New York is Anthology Film Archive's second Giallo series - the first one a couple of years ago was a trip and a half and they've got some great titles lined up for this sequel, including stuff by Argento and Bava and Lenzi and Fulci and all the big names in Italian yellow. Anthology's website is still stuck in the dark ages so read this piece at Fangoria, it's easier to rifle through the titles that way.

--- Maxwell Man - I considered doing this as a "Quote of the Day" but it's actually kind of vague a quote when I looked at it so we'll just stick it here instead - Queerty has a nice little interview with 70s and 80s stud Maxwell Caulfiend (I guess he's doing some play right now) and he talks about the experience of being a hot piece of ass in New York City before AIDS wrecked everything and oh, such wistful thoughts, thinking about sleeping with Maxwell Caulfield in 1978 or so. (See some fine pictures of vintage Maxwell here.)

--- Big Beasts - Yeah yeah I know this news is like a week old but I haven't done one of these link round-ups since it broke so sue me - Cary Fukunaga's flick with Idris Elba, the African child-soldier drama Beasts of No Nation, was bought by Netflix for 12 million smackeroos. They plan on gunning for Oscar gold with it too - we'll see how well the movie-theaters comply; they're already grumbling about Netflix's release plans, which will probably include a quick switch-over to online after a theatrical run.

--- Pratt & Chan - So apparently the news about the Dude Ghostbusters movie with Channing Tatum last night was slightly bungled by Sony - it's not about an alternate Male Team of Busters, but rather it's going to spin off of Feig's movie and be about Channing and Chris Pratt (!!!), who are friends or something in the same universe that Melissa McCarthy & Friends are fighting the ghosts in. And there are plans for a third movie where everybody teams up, Avengers-style. Studios really just aren't even pretending to try anymore, are they?

--- Deep Water - I love it when somebody else does all the work for me - DH rounded up a few new images from movies of interest and there actually are several shots of interest to us for good (well gratuitous reasons) - there's the first picture of Taron Egerton, recently seen as the hot lead piece in Kingsman: The Secret Service, buddying up with his new co-star Hugh "Hands On A Hard Twink" Jackman while wearing ski-spandex. There's a picture of Luke Evans in a wet wifebeater for High Rise, Ben Wheatley's daptation of JG Blallard's book. And there's a picture of Garrett Hedlund doing what he do, being beautiful. Oh and Chiwetel Ejiofor in a suit.

--- Find Me A Find - I haven't properly linked up to The Film Experience's annual "We Can't Wait!" series yet so let's do that - here's the newest entry: coming in at #12 is The Dressmaker, which stars Kate Winslet and Judy Davis and that's all you need to know before you buy your ticket, really. There are links therein for the earlier couple of entries, which include the new Tarantino (yes) and the new Malick (no!).

--- The Faceless Man - I s'pose this is spoilery but who cares, it's great news - German hot-piece Tom Wlaschiha (see just how hot he is in this gratuitous post) is definitely returning to A Game of Thrones; he hasn't been on since the second season, but it would appear that Arya want his hotness back in her life, as do we. She's grown so super wise. Anyway we'd heard this rumored but now it's for sure. Given the nature of his character he could've been recast so phew, bullet dodged!

--- And Finally here is the latest trailer (via) for San Andreas, aka that earthquake movie starring The Rock. (See previous trailer here.) I love disaster movies so so much and I am so on-board for this, especially if they keep highlighting Carla Gugino running around in five-inch heeled boots and jeans it took four people to get her into. (Pictures of Colton Haynes getting gang-banged by firemen also don't hurt.) Bring on the ridiculousness!!!
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Putting The Face In The Faceless Men

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I apologize if you consider casting news a spoiler but I can hardly leave this rumor unremarked upon since it involves one of the hottest dudes on a show of hot dudes - there's a rumor that Tom Wlaschiha, the guy who played Arya's compatriot-in-killing Jaqen H’ghar in the second season of A Game of Thrones, will be showing up again next year. It's via the actor's own agency, which may have let it slip when they shouldn't have - HBO ain't said balls yet. 

Anyway we all wanted it to happen - though he was hardly on the show, he left a mark. Those eyes, those lips. Leave a mark on me anytime, Tom! Since the character he plays is able to change his face to suit his slippery purposes, it seemed as if they wouldn't need to hire the same actor - I hope they have indeed realized what they had with him though. And you can see a whole bunch of what they had with him way back here.

Good Morning, World

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A happy 39th birthday to the German actor Tom Wlaschiha, seen on the most recent season of A Game of Thrones as Arya's sexy kill-puppet Jaqen H'ghar. The above is from the 2000 movie No One Sleeps; you can see the whole scene below. (Psst - it's gay.) You can also see a bunch more Tom way back in this gratuitous post I did for him in August of last year when I heard he was cast in Thrones. I suppose we'll be hearing what hotties are being cast in the third season soon (Mance Rayder had best be a hot piece. The Tullys too), and we can post accordingly.

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Gratuitous Tom Wlaschiha

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This news is a couple of weeks old; I just couldn't find the time to get around to it until now. Yesterday's loss is today's gain. If you've read George R. R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire books then you know who the character of Jaqen H'ghar is; if you haven't read George R. R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire books, then you should do that. Either way you'll get acquainted with the character in the second season of HBO's Game of Thrones series as played by the German actor Tom Wlaschiha, who got cast a few weeks back.

Yup, alongside Thrones' already-star Nicholaj Coster-Waldau it's another blond-haired blue/green-eyed Aryan for my stable - all they have to do is find some room for Thomas Kretschmann and Til Schweiger and I'll never have to watch any other shows again. Wlaschiha's a lucky basterd - he gets to hang out with Ayra aka my favorite character in a really great, powerful storyline that's coming up. See a bunch more (some NSFW) after the jump.