Sing Me a Song of Beautiful Men

Well here's some news tailor-made (heh see what I did there) for MNPP -- former designer turned movie director Tom Ford (now you see what I did there) has announced his next film and it's an adaptation of Anne Rice's book Cry To Heaven about 18th Century Italian Opera. None of those things are really the specific things that make this a tight fit onto our interests -- it's all about the cast, baby. Namely it will star (among others) Nicholas Hoult, George MacKay, Colin Firth, Paul Bettany, Mark Strong, Theodore Pellerin, Daryl McCormack and Aaron Taylor-Johnson. Phew! Several of those people have worked with Ford before: Hoult and Firth were both in A Single Man of course....

... sorry I can't mention that fact without posting that gif; it's written into my contract. And then Aaron Taylor-Johnson memorably wiped his ass while sitting on an outdoor toilet in everybody's favorite movie of the millenium Nocturnal Animals. Don't worry -- I am not sharing that gif. And the rest of those names will be served wonderfully by Ford's eye I have no doubt -- I especially can't wait to see how he shoots the outrageous angles of Pellerin & MacKay's faces. Oh and Daryl McCormack, who's just soooo dreeeeeeamy.

Wait what were we talking about? Oh right this is a movie. I have never read this Anne Rice book but one assumes that the big headline here is the person I have not yet named in the cast -- the singer Adele is making her acting debut in a movie about opera singers. I imagine she's the lead and all of these insanely good looking men will be circling around her? I don't know; maybe Tom will give her a light load on her first film and some of these gorgeous men will pick up the slack. Whatever. GIMME! Other names in the cast -- that kid Owen Cooper from Adolesence, Ciarán Hinds,  Thandiwe Newton, Hunter Schafer, and Lux "sister of Pedro" Pascal. This sucker's loaded up yo!

Paul Bettany Ten Times

Paul Bettany is working 50-years-old pretty well, wouldn't you say? Here he is on the cover of The Rake magazine (via) looking as they say "Sharp AF" -- may we all age so well. I dunno what he's promoting here -- I guess himself! Which is fine! Hit the jump for the rest...

Good Morning, World?

My first thought was I couldn't use Paul Bettany's new photoshoot for Flaunt Magazine for a "Good Morning" post because there's nothing terribly "morning" related about it -- although I have admittedly gotten more lax on that subject because it's hard to find a morning thing every fucking morning -- but then I stared at the above photo for a second and then I laughed for five minutes straight because his expression, the electronic calendar saying "2021"... listen it just really captures "Today's Mood" from your favorite writer here. (By which I mean "me.") So fuck it. Good morning, there's Paul Bettany scowling, I feel that. There's six more photos after the jump...

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... free-styling all over Paul Bettany's backside.

According to Paul Bettany (via his Insta) his kids drew that dick on his back with sunscreen because, you know, kids. Kids love a dick joke! We do as a culture really underestimate the truth of that statement, although I would argue, and with some knowledge on the subject, that everybody, young and old, loves a good dick joke. We are here after all, aren't we?

The Final Vision

Don't worry, I am not going to spoil WandaVision! Except for the sight of Paul Bettany in that turtleneck. (Anybody else discover they have a thing for Vision thanks to this show?) Anyway I already said this on Twitter this morning, but it bears repeating. This here is just an open post for those of y'all who've watched today's episode already, like me -- I got up early and watched it before I left for work, lest I be spoiled, because that is apparently life in 2021 -- and would like to say how you liked the episode and the season in the comments! I personally am happy. And I'll be happy to say more if anybody asks for more in the comments.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

High-Rise (2015)

Laing: You know, Toby, when I was your age, 

I was always covered in something. Mud, jam, failure... 

My father never associated himself with anything dirty. Or real.

Toby: My father's up there.

Laing: You mean, in heaven?

Toby: Heaven isn't real, stupid.

"Mud Jam Failure" is totally the new title of my auto-biography, I have just decided. Anyway a happy 40th birthday to Tom Hiddleston today -- I'd been trying to not pay a lot of attention to the forthcoming Marvel TV shows but I'm totally digging WandaVision so I will inevitably get sucked into Loki when it comes around. 

It's hitting in May right? Likewise I really thought I'd ignore the Falcon and the Winter Soldier show because as much as I like staring at Sebastian Stan those two characters have always bored me to tears in the films, but then... (god I am easy)...

I just — pic.twitter.com/hS5JGmSUMt

— Preeti Chhibber (@runwithskizzers) February 8, 2021

Paul Bettany One Time

It's been a good few months for anyone -- i.e. anyone with eyes -- who appreciates the sight of Paul Bettany wearing tight 70s clothing, thanks to his gay uncle movie Uncle Frank (see more here)...

... and thanks to this past week's third episode of WandaVision, which was set in the 1970s. Or set in the sitcom version of the 1970s, or whatever you want to call it. All I know is it turns out Paul wears that era's ridiculous fashions maybe better than anyone I've ever seen, and should go looking for more 70s projects immediately. 

As for WandaVision this I suppose is my first admission here on the site proper that I am indeed actually watching that show -- are you? I was simultaneously bored and intrigued by its first episode but the second my beloved Emma Caulfield (aka Anya on Buffy) showed up as the queen bee neighbor I was all in, unreservedly. The show can do anything, literally anything, now -- it hired Emma Caulfield. It's gold. (Sidenote: really ashamed I didn't put together this bit of Buffy-adjacent geekiness.) 

As with most things Marvel I am only mildly involved with what I'm watching otherwise -- it's fun and a solid goofy distraction, and I do like falling down some of the nerdier rabbit-roles about what's going on (there's a massive piece in THR today that seems to think they've sorted out the next Big Bad for the MCU thanks to the show), but it's in one ear out the other for me, and I pretty much forget what happened ten minutes after it happened. That said if they want to fulfill my single Marvel Wish, I sure won't argue...

The concept of this show, as far as I understand it, opens itself up to the return of a CERTAIN SOMEBODY though doesn’t it? I’m gonna be mad if it doesn’t happen #WandaVision pic.twitter.com/aV9ioNYAeT

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) January 17, 2021

Good Morning, World

Six Feet Under creator Alan Ball's new "gay uncle" movie Uncle Frank starring Paul Bettany came up here on the site yesterday because we used five frames from it for our "Five Frames From ?" game -- the movie is now on Amazon Prime; you can watch the trailer if you need the trailer right here -- which reminded me that I really needed to skip back now that it's out and give some love to Paul Bettany's multiple tighty-whities scenes in the movie. And so...

... here we are. If for nothing else bless Uncle Frank for Paul Bettany with a mustache sitting around in tighty-whities. As came up in the comments of that "Five Frames From ?" post yesterday though the movie's a real mixed mixed-bag -- Bettany & Sophia Lillis are terrific, but the script could've used some work, especially in its last act. Too many characters, and too much straining towards simple answers to complex problems. But when it manages to focus in on its central pair it's fairly lovely. Have you seen it? Have you thoughts? Well I have more gifs either way, right on after the jump...

Gay Uncles Incorporated

And speaking of True Blood slash Six Feet Under creator Alan Ball (I just mentioned how he was supposed to direct the Chippendales movie in my earlier post) here's what he has coming up -- it's called Uncle Frank and it stars Paul Bettany as a lit professor in the 70s whose country-fied niece (It star Sophia Lillis) comes to the big city to attend his college, where she uncovers, gasp, he's a queer. 

The two then take off on a road-trip home for a funeral and bonds are made and broken and so forth. I literally just watched this movie last night! It's screening as part of NewFest, so I'll have more on it in a couple days. (I have previously posted a clip from the film, right here.) For now they've just released the trailer, and I dutifully share it with you, tender readers...

Amazon is releasing Uncle Frank (which also stars Judy Greer (who gets the film's funniest moment, of course), Steve Zahn, Margo Martindale, Peter Macdissi, Stephen Root, and Lois Smith) on November 25th and that's super perfect timing -- it's totally a Thanksgiving movie even though there's no Thanksgiving in it. Awkward family reunion type movies are always perfect for that holiday. 

What's New NewFest

During my day off yesterday NewFest 2020 went and dropped their full line-up for this year's mostly virtual fest, so today I play catch up! If you've heard all of this already, well you can go to hell. This is for the rest of us. (Not really, I love you!) (Unless you want to go to hell, in which case have at it. I prefer a cooler climate personally.) Anyway NewFest runs this year from October 16th through 27th and we already knew the big Opening Night film was Francis Lee's Ammonite -- see that post here -- so we'll focus in on some smaller but no less exciting stuff! But first, their trailer:

As you see there... hella gay. Right? So gay! I mean I know that's the idea but why they gotta rub all that gay in our faces? I mean when they could be rubbing the gay in our other places, obviously. Don't give my face all the attention, NewFest! That reminds me -- one year ago at NewFest I turned around to talk to my boyfriend at an after-party for one of their screenings and my boyfriend had literally been replaced by Chris Evans. No seriously -- that happened. If only I'd known then what I knew now! By which I mean Chris Evans definitively has a penis and I was about to be locked inside my apartment for eight months. 

Sorry I am really getting off track here. NewFest! We love NewFest! You can see their entire line-up on their website, I'm not gonna go through the whole thing because per usual they have an extensive line-up covering all the queer bases. But the titles that leapt right out at me are Alan Ball's Uncle Frank...

... which I've already posted about previously because it stars Paul Bettany and we love Paul Bettany, especially when he's not under all of that Vision make-up and wearing a mustache. That one is screening at the Queens Drive-in, what a thrill, outdoors and shit. And another one that leapt out at me was...

... Francois Ozon's Summer of 85, aka another one I've posted about before. Several times actually, as I tend to love Ozon films and this one looks like he took a lot of inspiration from Call Me By Your Name. See my previous posts, including its trailer, at this link. Oh and they're also showing Monsoon...

... aka The "Henry Golding plays gay" movie, previously posted about here -- this is from the writer-director of the lovely Lilting with Ben Whishaw. And I've already seen Monsoon and I'll have more to say about that closer to... not right now. Monsoon is getting a release in early November. Of course those are just some big titles -- there are loads more, including some fascinating looking docs (NewFest always has killer docs), one about Keith Haring and one about Truman Capote & Tennessee Williams, among many many others. Again check them at NewFest's website -- tickets are on sale right now!

Let's Be (Uncle) Frank

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I don't know about you but I admit my ears perked up when I read that there was a movie forthcoming that had Paul Bettany playing a prominently mustachioed gay uncle in 1973 -- was that my ears? Something perked. Anyway I was onboard. And the photo above, the first from the film -- which is called Uncle Frank and was written and directed by Six Feet Under creator Alan Ball -- proved that instinct correct.

As does the first clip from the movie, which also stars Little Women's Sophia Lillis as the person calling Uncle Frank "Uncle" -- she plays his niece and yadda yadda I'll let the official plot detail do the detailing:

"In 1973, teenaged Beth Bledsoe (Sophia Lillis) leaves her rural Southern hometown to study at New York University where her beloved Uncle Frank (Paul Bettany) is a revered literature professor. She soon discovers that Frank is gay, and living with his longtime partner Walid “Wally” Nadeem (Peter Macdissi) -- an arrangement that he has kept secret for years. After the sudden death of Frank's father -- Beth’s grandfather -- Frank is forced to reluctantly return home for the funeral with Beth in tow, and to finally face a long-buried trauma that he has spent his entire adult life running away from."

This all sounds terribly up my alley.

I bet there will be bookshelves! Here's that first clip:

Uncle Frank premieres on Amazon on Thanksgiving.

I'll clearly share the full trailer when that appears, too.

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Watch Out For That Treeeee

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I just re-watched the original 1981 Evil Dead earlier this week (once again due to my current Gaylords of Darkness obsession, mentioned earlier today) and talk about a movie that holds up. I usually always watch Part II because I dig its humor and Bruce Campbell is at his hotness peak there, but the first movie should not go under-loved -- it's a good damn time at the movies, with shocks and soul-tickles a'plenty. I was also serious when I asked this question on Twitter...

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Do we think Scott gets raped by the trees in the forest in the original Evil Dead as well? When he bursts back into the cabin after trying to run off he is TORE UP and that possibility never occurred to me until this viewing pic.twitter.com/CcMzDw06dK

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) February 4, 2020

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... which I didn't get any replies to, because maybe people thought I wasn't being serious? Or was maybe that I was being light about Tree Rape? I'd never be light about Tree Rape. I actually think the film might be implying that and it's not something I'd ever realized until this watch. Obviously it's not in your face like the gratuitously terrible scene with Cheryl (Ellen Sandweiss) since the one with Scott (Richard DeManincor) happens off-screen, and that makes a huge difference in its impact. But it does inform the Evil Dead Universe in its way. It should just be noted!
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Come here often? pic.twitter.com/rlDiCQIxsd

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) February 4, 2020

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Anyway! Tree Rape aside! I'm here because of yesterday's big Sam Raimi news, that he's in talks to take over the Doctor Strange sequel, subtitled In the Multiverse of Madness, after the first film's helmer Scott Derrickson dropped off the flick several months back. I am one hundred percent... well maybe ninety percent... ambivalent about this news. Mostly because there have been tons of rumors that Raimi was going to make another horror movie soon, and I want that way more than I want him to get swallowed up by the Marvel machinery. They take everything dammit! See also:
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I am extraordinarily pissed off anew that Marvel has swallowed up and robbed us of all the great Elizabeth Olsen performances we should be getting pic.twitter.com/ZmaHhneXvW

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) January 31, 2020

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(Seriously, I know those glimpses of the WandaVision show in that Superbowl trailer were hella weird but Olsen is so much better than this nonsense and should be gifting us with complex adult performances by now. She barely works besides for Marvel now!) Anyway I know that Sam only made one of, if not the, greatest superhero movies ever made. His Spider-mans are legendary.

Doc Ock forever. And admittedly his brand of cinematic nuttery is exceedingly perfect for the Doctor-Strange-verse, with its pulsing transmogrifying realities shifting on top of one another -- I have no doubt he'll find some ways to blow our minds. Plus the Multiverse story is supposedly a hardcore horror one, from what I first read about it, and that makes Raimi even perfecter. I will probably come to regret my hesitation. Except not. Except unless he takes his paycheck and makes Evil Dead 4. Then all is forgiven. As long as he finally answers my tree-on-man rape query. Make an entire sequel about that dammit!
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By Bloody Glory

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Buffy and How To Get Away With Murder actor Charlie Weber -- see our previous posts on him here -- just 'grammed this photo from the set of HTGAWM, saying "a lot happens" on tonight's episode, and I don't watch that show but it looks like what he is saying might be true. Anyway that photo reminded me of a poll I did a couple of years back around Halloween time involving a whole bunch of hot guys slathered in karo syrup, and when I went looking for the post I found the poll service I'd used back then wasn't working any more. So I fixed it, and now you should go back and vote on that poll again. I promise you lots of sexy bloody hotness at the link will be your prize for clicking through.

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Pic of the Day

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Big thanks to Austin Nichols for sharing on his Instagram this behind-the-scenes picture of himself sandwiched by Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Paul Bettany taken presumably during the shooting of their film Wimbledon in 2004 -- that is a sandwich to be. And it's got me revisiting this old post about them two blonds in the steam-room together... huh maybe I should re-watch Wimbledon?

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When They Go Solo We Go So High

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I'm not hip enough to get invites to press screenings of the big blockbuster movies (yet) so I'll be seeing Solo in the theaters with the rest of you normals this weekend - you'd think that Alden Ehrenreich's people would've gotten in touch given the seven years of free publicity I've been bestowing upon him, but per usual I'm just jerking off in the breeze! They forget us so quickly. Sigh.

Anyway (besides a quick post going up tomorrow) I am off now until Tuesday -- y'all can use this post's comments to 1) tell me what you thought of Solo, or 2) how about even better to "Do Dump or Marry" Alden along with his co-stars Donald Glover and Paul Bettany...?

Sure, why not, let's...

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So I Finally Saw Infinity War Last Night...

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... and it's impossible to review it without talking about spoilers... and I kind of don't even want to write a big proper review anyway... so if anybody wants to share their thoughts on it let's go to the comments. I'm going to share a quick thought of my own there too. Point being if you're spoiler-averse don't click on the comments, folks.  Don't look down there at all! But since I was probably the last person on Earth to see the movie I don't think any of you will much care either...

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Good Morning, World

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Paul Bettany is vacationing in Ibiza right now and while I'm not going to complain about him posting shirtless selfies on Instagram I have to admit that I am a bit worried for him - he is so fair-skinned! This seems to be a lot of sun for such a fair-skinned fellow! Take better care of your skin, Paul. Your skin is your living. The skin is life!

Wham Bam Spider-Man

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No sooner had I clicked "purchase" on my tickets to see the new Captain America movie (they just went on sale a minute ago) then did I see they've also just released a new trailer for the film and as you can see there - it's Spider-Man! Our very first look at Tom Holland (or, you know, a Tom Holland shaped CG blob) is here! Here's the trailer:

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Seeing Spider-Man is exciting, don't get me wrong, as is the little glimpse of Ant-Man running around, and Black Panther's looking fairly kick-ass too, but it's this shot...

... that's got my panties all bunched up. 

Why is Scarlet Witch melting The Vision???

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I Am Link

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--- United Colors - I feel as if I have to post this even though it's not entirely in my wheelhouse, but then it does involve David Oyelowo so it's not a massive sacrifice - you know how just the other day I was wondering where the hell Rosamund Pike had gone (girl) to? Well here's an answer! EW has the first image of her and Oyelowo in A United Kingdom, about the true-life story of the 1940s romance between a regular ol' white English gal (I mean she looks like Rosamund Pike though, let's not be crazy or anything) and the Prince of Botswana, which was a big scandal and forced the Prince into exile.

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--- Forget The War - Why would you take a book titled The Spy Who Tried To Stop A War: Katherine Gun And The Secret Plot To Sanction The Iraq Invasion and re-title it as a movie called Official Secrets? SNOOZE. The Spy Who Tried To Stop A War is a terrific title! Anyway the thing is being directed by Justin Chadwick, who directed The Other Boleyn Girl and Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom, so he knows from SNOOZE. But he has gathered up quite a cast - Natalie Dormer, Paul Bettany, Harrison Ford, Martin Freeman and Anthony Hopkins will star as various real folks in over their heads.
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--- La Barbie - I had my own "white privilege" slap me upside the head the other day when it didn't even occur to me when I posted about Joseph Fiennes playing Michael Jackson to consider the racial implications - I was just thinking about the physical  match, which is there. But I get why people were upset! Anyway I had no such problems recognizing the race problem right off the bat with the news that noted-Latino Charlie Hunnam just got cast as a Mexican drug-lord. According to that source the dude he is playing "was also light-skinned and blue-eyed, apparently, and he had the football and cartel-nickname of La Barbie" but still. This is a bit much.
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--- Mama In Law - In my mind I seem to have convinced myself that I like Mama, the 2013 horror flick produced by Guillermo Del Toro, but I think what it is is I just liked it slightly more than my boyfriend, who hated it. I remember thinking it was okay. Anyway there is going to be a sequel because the original film did great business and they just made a really terrific choice on who's directing - Dennis Widmyer and Kevin Kolsch, the directors who made last year's terrific Hollywood nightmare called Starry Eyes, will take the helm.
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--- That Face - This article amused me -- a site called The Inverse took a look at "The Psychology of Why Mads Mikkelsen Looks So Fucking Evil" by diving into the shapes and contours and individual forms of his glorious and particular visage. The specter of Creepypasta's "The Expressionless" is summoned, and at that point I was rolling on the floor. It's all good though!
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--- Anon Anon - I should probably stop waiting for Andrew Niccol to make a movie as good as his first movie Gattaca (or his second script for The Truman Show) because it probably ain't gonna happen at this point. I did like last year's drone-thriller Good Kill well enough to keep paying attention though, and news on his next thing is positive -- it's called Anon and it's a sci-fi story about a future with no crime and a mystery woman, and it will star Clive Owen. Probably not as the mystery woman, but who knows. Anything's possible.
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--- Make A Scene - Phew, I've got my lunch-time reading all sorted out -- the New York Times spoke to Todd Haynes at length about his visual references for Carol, which he apparently sorts out into photo collages to create a texture and a feel for what he's gunning for. Clearly some enterprising publisher needs to get this shit together and make copies for all of us to have! (thanks Mac)
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--- Mighty Weiner - Nate Parker's ultra-buzzy The Birth of a Nation sold for an enormous sum of money out of Sundance, which is awesome, I can't wait to see it, but it swallowed up the other happy-making Sundance buy which is that Amazon bought Todd Solondz's film Wiener-Dog with Greta Gerwig for "seven figures" and the contract apparently stipulates "a significant theatrical release" which is all great news for Solondz. When I first read Amazon bought it I figured it'd show up on my Prime account next week with no fan-fare or something. I mean I wouldn't mind seeing it that fast but Todd should bank some buck once in awhile.
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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... swept up in Thor's strong embrace.

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That there is one of the blooper reels from the Avengers: Age of Ultron blu-ray that's out in a few days -- I don't know why Joss Whedon couldn't have written a romance between Thor and Vision into the plot of Age of Ultron - clearly the actors were game to get some friction going between their spandex, and there's literally nobody that doesn't wanna see that. I'm less enthusiastic about the possibility of romance between Captain America and Iron Man...

... but just because I know that Civil War is coming and I don't think Cappy needs his heart broken anymore. Poor tender Cappy.

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