Actually John Cho is the Missing One

Hey oh I've got a new review for you fine people today -- click on over to Pajiba to read my thoughts on Missing, the semi-sequel to that movie Searching with John Cho a couple years back. I say "semi" because the new one exists in the same universe as the events of the first film (we see a Law and Order type reenactment of the first film at one point) and utilizes the same screen schtick, but otherwise it's its own thing. I mean I kept hoping that John Cho would suddenly pop up, like swing in on a chandelier with his shirt unbuttoned to save the day, but then that's true of something like 74-87% of the films I watch. I just want the world to be sexier y'all!

John Cho Four Times

Heads up like John Cho there that I am laid up with a bout of not-feeling-well-itis (not COVID, don't worry) and probably not going to get much more done here today as a result. I swear to you that even typing that last sentence took me four tries? And that sentence was not worth four tries. My brain is on the fritz. Anyway here are some photos of said Mr. Cho (via) from 2019 that my archives tell me have never been posted? Big miss, me. Hit the jump for them all and try to have a pleasant enough Hump Day without me...

Colin Farrell Forever

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So glad we've well and good put to rest the curse that was cast on Colin Farrell in the Aughts, circa Alexander & Miami Vice -- the horrific and ridiculous notion that he was a "bad actor," which I swatted away every time it was in front of me. So okay, so he made some bad choices -- that Total Recall remake especially springs to mind -- who hasn't? I mean did you see Cate Blanchett in The House With the Clock on its Walls? Anyway now that that's out of the way Colin has just jumped on-board his second promising project this month -- after joining Andrew Haigh's whaler miniseries for the BBC now he's attached to After Yang, an adaptation of Alexander Weinstein's short-story "Saying Goodbye to Yang,” which sounds very Iron Giant just minus the "giant" part. The especially promising part is the director is Kogonada, whose film Columbus starring Haley Lu Richardson and John Cho was totally super. Fngers crossed the Tim Burton's Dumbo movie surprises us all and is actually good! Only happy thoughts...

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Still not over this tbh pic.twitter.com/Z0WFfn4cvp

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) March 1, 2019

John Cho Seven Times

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I'm never really sure about horror movies that're as gimmicky on the surface as Searching appears to be - if you've seen the trailer you know it's all told via computer screen windows, as if we're staring at someone's laptop - but Searching has got two things going for it. One, the movie Unfriended already kind of did this same basic thing in 2014 and more importantly  it worked. (I can't speak for the sequel, which I haven't seen.) And two, the obvious one, the one you see here, being John Cho. We all love John Cho! Even my mom loves John Cho and she never knows who anybody is. So fingers crossed for Searching, then. Hit the jump for the rest of these pictures...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Smiley Face (2007)

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Jane: That is where corn chips come from. Hmm... Maybe ol' Professor Hardwood is onto something. He probably really loves corn. And all corn-related products. I mean, isn't that what you're supposed to put in a frame? Things you love? I'm gonna do that. When I'm get home, I'm gonna frame a bunch of stuff I love. Like lasagna. I *love* lasagna. It's SO good. And cheesy. You know who else loves lasagna? Garfield. Man, that cat really loves lasagna. Maybe I should put a picture of Garfield in a frame. You know, as a kind of shorthand way of saying 'I love lasagna.' That would be so f*cking inside. Or how 'bout a photo of *President* Garfield? Oh shit, that would be totally meta! People would be all like: Jane, why do you have a photo of President Garfield on your mantle? And I'd be like: Because I like lasagna, of course.

Happy 4/20, y'all.

Immortal Landline & the City of West Columbus

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I have gotten a little bit behind on movie reviews so here are some quick thoughts on five films that I don't have it in me to write long thoughts on. They are in order from Best to Worst for no real reason whatsoever except my own personal kicks.

Columbus -- I wish somebody had let me know beforehand that this movie was both a love letter to the mid-century modernist architecture of Columbus, Indiana - you can read a great primer as to why Columbus has so much killer architecture right here - and a love letter to John Cho's butt in and out of khakis. Those are like all of my favorite things in one place! In all seriousness this movie is a gorgeously simple meditation on the intermingling of public and private spaces (which okay is a fancy way of saying "butts and belfries") - that is just to say that it would be hard not to fall in love with someone who stands under Eero Saarinen with you and too feels the holy spirit. 

Ingrid Goes West -- While I still managed to post each and every trailer for this film before it came out (because every trailer gave us a little more of Billy Magnussen in his little short shorts) I still wasn't sold on it by those same trailers; it seemed like it was going to be a one-joke movie at the expense of social media, and in case you haven't noticed... I like social media. So color me face-slapped that this movie actually pushes deeper into the dark recesses of its themes, of mental health and modern disconnection, and that Aubrey Plaza is straight up super in it. I mean I wasn't surprised that Aubrey's great - she's always great, in her way.

But Ingrid really lets her root around in her already somewhat pigeonholed image like Jim Carrey did with The Cable Guy or Adam Sandler did with Punch-drunk Love and find curious and strange facets to that image that we haven't gotten to see before. She was up to the task. And this ain't a one-woman show either - Magnussen manages to spin his fuckable lunkhead image into nasty new territory himself, while O'Shea Jackson Jr. is a thousand watt charm goofball and Elisabeth Olsen is fiercely funny with her every avocado-toasted line delivery. This is a good movie!

Landline -- Jenny Slate remains winningly adorable (her snort is halfway to becoming Marilyn's coo, trademark wise) and she's surrounded by very fine folks on all sides (it was especially lovely to see Finn Wittrock play an actual human being for a change, which American Horror Story has yet to cast him as) but at a certain point Landline just begins to feel like an excuse to string together a bunch of mid-90s references. Watch people go to rent videotapes! Watch people listen to World Music on headphones at the record store! Chokers and barrettes, oh my! I mean they got the details perfect - I felt like I was transported to High School at times - but all that stuff subsumed the story, which felt like rote stuff, and got sitcommier by the second. I guess all the abortion stuff really sharpened the edges of Obvious Child - Landline needed something like that. More abortion, I say!

Blade of the Immortal -- I have watched two movies in the past couple of weeks that felt so excruciatingly long that I began to wonder if I might drop dead and my bones disintegrate into ash before the final credits roll, and this is one of them. There is no reason for this movie, which has loudly been sold as Takashi Miike's 100th Film - to be just under two and a half hours long; the only thing I can think of is that Miike has clearly made some sort of deal with the devil that he's got to churn out one million minutes of movie before he turns 60 or he will lose him immortal soul. That's got to be it. But hey at least I got a fucking sword out of it!

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets -- This is the second movie that felt so excruciatingly long that I began to wonder if I might drop dead and my bones disintegrate into ash before the final credits roll.

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More like Valerian and the Movie of a Thousand Minutes amirite

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) November 5, 2017

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In Valerian's defense Cara Delevingne at least comes out of it not looking like this whole "acting thing" is as grave an error on her part as it looked coming out of Suicide Squad - she's actually pretty charming here. Which helps one surf somewhat gently, for awhile, across the endless, endless wastes of this loudly clanging pile of space debris. But only for awhile. The effects look good?

John Cho Six Times

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Did you know that 6 out of the 7 movies coming out this weekend according to IMDb star people of color in their leads? If you follow me on Twitter you know that since I tweeted it last night, but if not that... now you do! One of those six is called Columbus and it stars John Cho as a young chap stuck in a small town where his father's slipped into a coma and who meets a young lady in similar circumstances and I assume, this being a movie, something like romance blooms.

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Oh hey there Billy Eichner making out with John Cho pic.twitter.com/m5yU30CbAY

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) August 2, 2017

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That gif is not from this movie - that is from the trailer for the next season of Difficult People, but still. Romance! It's always blooming in unexpected places, ain't it? Anyway I do hear John flashes his butt in the movie, so that's a treat. Hit the jump for five more pictures (sadly no butt yet though)...

Boldly Gay Where No Gay Has Gayed Before

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My first thought upon reading this morning's news that the character of Mr. Sulu (played by John Cho in the big currently ongoing movie franchise, and played by noted homosexual George Takei in the original series) is revealed to be gay in Star Trek Beyond, this Summer's blockbuster-to-be, was to wonder if Bryan Fuller is sad that he got beaten to this, the gay Star Trek character milestone - you just know there's going to be a gay main character in his upcoming Star Trek TV show. But that was momentary - good on writer Simon Pegg for finally breaking the franchise's gay glass ceiling! Read all about it over here. Any idea who plays Sulu's partner? Please please please tell me it's Kal Penn...

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Good Morning, Harold

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That's a deleted scene from Harold & Kumar 2.

Can you believe that John Cho turns 41 today? That's nuts.

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Hobbit Into Darkness

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Did anybody see The Hobbit in IMAX this weekend and get to see those several minutes of Star Trek Into Darkness footage that were promised? I did not, but I'd love to hear what you thought of them if you did. Now we've got a trailer, which is about 45 seconds longer than the first teaser, so whoopdie doo to that. (via)

But back to The Hobbit - What did you all think? I don't think I'm going to be able to really write much of a review to it - I had a Christmas party yesterday right after seeing it and the best I could muster when it came up in conversation was, "It's good? It's definitely... long." I enjoyed it, I will say that. I'm strangely struck dumb when I try to say why though. I think it's just I've got too many other things on my mind right now. I liked it more than I though I was going to - I'd begun to fear a stinker, and it weren't a stinker. It was fun, and tonally very different from the LotR films, which was a good idea. It's much sillier. And somehow they made Gollum scary again - I'd forgotten how scary he could be. The 48 frames per second thing was a mixed bag - at first the clarity was indeed somewhat distracting and cheap-looking when it was just a normal scene of people talking on sets, but then I would stop noticing it for awhile. And then in the big eyefuls of CG scenes, it was incredible. And then they'd be sitting around talking somewhere and it would seem cheap again. So... so?

I Like The (North) Pole And The Hole

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Two years ago while wishing Kal Penn a happy birthday I said this:

"I think that that's where they ought to go if they ever make a third H&K movie. The two adorkable stoners realize they're really meant for each other and Neil Patrick Harris officiates at their big gay wedding and they float off on a cloud of pot smoke to live happily ever after, the end. This has absolutely nothing to do with me wanting to see Kal Penn and John Cho making out while simultaneously naked. Absolutely nothing."

Did they listen to me? Of course not. Instead they've tarted everything up with 3D and holiday nonsense, in a pique of gay panic no doubt. Granted I haven't seen A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas myself yet so perhaps it really does end this way and I'll be happily surprised that night five years from now when I catch it edited on basic cable while half asleep. But like Meryl in a habit, I have my doubts! I'll just have to keep imagining all that A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Gay Gangbang could have been, I guess.

Besides that, this weekend's cinematic offerings include the return of Eddie Murphy in Tower Heist as well as the gift for your eyeballs that is Channing Tatum rocking a 'stache in a cop uniform (non stripper edition) in The Son of No One, and if you wanna hear some thoughts upon these things head over to Celebrity Beehive where I have some thoughts to share.

The Moment I Fell For... John Cho

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Makin' his sexy face in Smiley Face

I made mention of this moment a few weeks ago when I did that gratuitous post for John Cho but am only just getting around to seeking out this cap to post. For those of you who've not seen the film, a) what the heck is wrong with you?, and b) a little bit of story to this moment: our pot-riddled heroine, Jane F. (Anna Faris), is getting a ride from John Cho's character here and he imagines her blissed-out stoner-haze as something sexual and that is the face he makes when trying to flirt with her. Smiley Face is filled with adorable guys being total dork-wads, John Krasinski's character Brevin in the lead, but nobody beats this sweet geeky smile here for total bang-for-your-geeky-buck.
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Two Times The Thomas Kretschmann

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Not only is tonight the night that Thomas Kretschmann's character appears on Fringe - previously posted on here - but apparently he shows up on FlashForward tonight, too! (thanks for the heads-up, RC) Hopefully he's there to make out with John Cho and/or Joseph Fiennes on the latter. And I guess he can make out with Pacey some on Fringe. But just a little.

Anyway it's a wealth of Kretschmann! Never enough, though. Never. I need a entire channel devoted to him, I swear. Sometimes he's there when I close my eyes. Yes, I'm deranged. Look away, look away!

FlashForward is on ABC at 8pm
and Fringe is on FOX right after at 9.
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Gratuitous John Cho

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It's a shame that I can't find screen-caps for the Anna Faris stoner-comedy Smiley Face online and I don't have my disc on me right this second so I can't give John Cho the honor of a "The Moment I Fell For..." post, because there is a very specific moment from that film that I know is the point when my love for him toppled over into something special. But I'll save that for when I do have my DVD beside me and I can share that properly. For now let me just say that he was fantastic in Star Trek earlier this year and he's at least a full half the reason why I might stick with FlashForward, the new TV series which he is on. And I've always kinda wanted him and Kal Penn to have a sex-scene in the Harold & Kumar movies.

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Two Reasons...

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... why I'm looking forward to the TV series Flash Forward
that starts on ABC on Sept. 24th. Hi, John and Joseph!

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Do, Dump or Marry - Boldly Go

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I was going to try and narrow this down to just three of the actors in JJ Abrams' Star Trek, but... well where's the fun in that? Been there, fucked that before. It's warp speed full ahead to polygamy and group sex, y'all! So here's how it goes: choose two guys to do the sex with (both at once, each separate, whatever your sick and twisted mind desires), two guys to gay-marry (just ask the religious right - once the same-sex marriage is legalized this is the next sort of thing we'll be asking for anyway... besides all that goat-sex we all love so much, of course), and then you have to dump three poor chaps. There's so much to choose from! So many options!

Since only a lucky few people have seen the film so far feel free to make your choices about the actors rather than the characters they're playing... or if you want to pretend you're having a three-way with Kirk and Spock you go on with your bad self there too. Who am I to judge?

Here's a who's who:

(clockwise from top left)
Eric Bana - Nero
Chris Pine - James T. Kirk
Simon Pegg - Scotty
Zachary Quinto - Spock
John Cho - Sulu
Karl Urban - Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy
Anton Yelchin - Chekov

And here's the way my choices fall:

Alright, y'all take your answers to the comments!
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Harold & Kumar's Big Homosexual Adventure

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I think that that's where they ought to go if they ever make a third H&K movie. The two adorkable stoners realize they're really meant for each other and Neil Patrick Harris officiates at their big gay wedding and they float off on a cloud of pot smoke to live happily ever after, the end.

This has absolutely nothing to do with me wanting to see Kal Penn and John Cho making out while simultaneously naked. Absolutely nothing.

Happy birthday, Kal!
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Pics of the Day

There are a slew of images from JJ Abrams' Star Trek re-thing-ening going around today because of that EW cover story... here are the only two that actually matter. (click 'em to embiggen 'em as usual)

The group reveal matters mainly because I am prepping myself for a sizable crush on Anton Yelchin and he is looking totally ADORABLE here. Plus Karl Urban's hair is so perfect I want to make out with it. It's all about the hair with Doc McCoy. And finally...

The Bana reveal! Sweet Romulan Rapists!

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I Am Friday's Links

Some casting news worth making mention of today:

--- JJ Abrams has cast his Scotty and his Sulu for his Star Trek reboot - Scotty will be played by Simon Pegg (yay!) and Sulu will be John Cho of Harold & Kumar fame.

--- Richard Kelly's siccing Dracula on Cameron Diaz - Frank Langella joins The Box, his Richard Matheson adaptation.

--- I finally got to see 80s slasher-fave The Burning last night - see Final Girl's Film Club take on it from earlier this week - and one of the campers within was played by Fisher Stevens, who funnily enough has just been cast as a scientist on Lost.

And non-casting-related:

--- Roger Ebert has just written up El Topo, Alejandro Jodorwosky's trippy-Western I made brief mention of having watched a couple weeks ago, for his Great Movies column. As with every Ebert writes, it's well-worth reading.

--- AICN has got a spoiler-soaked review of Battlestar Galactica: Razor, the prequel-of-sorts TV movie that airs on SciFi in only 43 days! We're going the wrong way!!!
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