Good Morning, World

Did I really go all last week without asking y'all what you thought of the last season of Stranger Things? Goes to show you how indifferent I was. I thought it was fairly terrible all around -- that last hour in particular was excrutiatingly drawn out with its one thousand endings. Granted I was always mixed on the show -- it was really only the season that focused on Sadie Sink's character where I felt emotionally involved -- but that was just some rote, by-the-numbers storytelling. And wasting Winona Ryder so bad... criminal! I did enjoy how thoroughly checked-out she clearly was in the behind-the-scenes documentary Netflix also released. Oh well. At least I got to stare at Joe Keery in really tight jeans a lot. We'll always have Steve's moose-knuckle.

oh my god it's endlesssssssssssssss

— Jason Adams (@jamnpp.bsky.social) December 31, 2025 at 9:53 PM

Happy Birthday, Winona

We love Winona forever, amen.

The Ghost With Even More Most

Extremely happy to say that I enjoyed the hell out of Tim Burton's 36-years-in-the-making Beetlejuice Beetlejuice -- head on over to Pajiba now to read my review now or even better after you've gone to see the movie in the theater yourself. I hope it makes a heap of money this weekend because this is a "legacy sequel" done right. Even if I really hate the term "legacy sequel." The movie might be all over the place but that's totally true to the wacky spirit of the original -- people complained the same thing about the original and yet I have watched that movie enough times to have it memorized from start to finish. Bring on the Winona-ssaince!

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Beetlejuice (1988)

Delia: Please. They're dead. It's a little late to be neurotic.

A happy 70 to the legend Catherine O'Hara! I'm so happy 
she's showing up in the sequel. We demand more Delia, dammit.

Lisa Frankenstein in 300 Words or Less

You know how zombies are wobbly when they first wake up? And then before you know it they're running like the "infected" of 28 Days Later or listening to a Walkman like Bob in Day of the Dead? Lisa Frankenstein, the new horror-comedy written by Jennifer's Body scripter Diablo Cody and directed by Zelda "daughter of Robin" Williams has that shambling ambling sort of feel -- it takes awhile to find its footing but I think it finally does around the film's mid-point, and from thereon I was enamored. Its first half isn't bad -- you're just not really keying into who Lisa (Kathryn Newton, summoning all the Heathers put in a blender) is as a character until she finds her purpose. Her mood-swings and her actions seem kind of random. 

That said those are quibbles that will certainly feel less wobbly on second, third, and thirty-fifth viewings, because Lisa Frankenstein is destined to be a cult movie born and bred. Even while watching it you can tell that this thing will resonate deeply with the same kind of 13-year-olds who kept beating that Heathers drum until that movie became a bonafide classic. (You might not recall that movie was a big flop at the time of its release.) Or, in Cody's exact wheelhouse, a generation later with Jennifer's Body, which was not a success in 2009 but is now well on its way to classic status itself. Lisa Frankenstein, for all its wobbly bits, is funny and charming and sweet and nasty and weird and its hallucinegenic overdone 80s aesthetic is a hoot and Carla Gugino is there killing it and I think the tweens, the right ones anyway, are gonna swoon. 

Say My Name Say My Name

I still don't really know how to feel about a Beetlejuice sequel -- the first movie was formative for me even besides the formative goth content since it was the first movie I went to see in a movie theater without my parents; it holds a very special place in my heart and I have seen it approximately a gazzilion times. But we're getting this so we'd best prepare ourselves and this teaser poster (via) -- which is apaprently telling us the title of it is Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (which is practically begging for a third film, right?) -- is a good way to start. We'll probably get a trailer or a teaser at least too soon, I would guess, even though the film itself isn't out until September 6th. It does quiet some of the darker voices in my head that Burton got everybody that matters to return -- meaning Winona and O'Hara and Keaton, oh my -- although I admit I'd love to see at least Geena Davis too. But the additions of Monica Belluci, Justin Theroux, Burn Gorman, Jenna Ortega, and Willem f'ing Dafoe are promising as well. Who knows! Tim Burton is so hit or miss or miss or miss or miss these days. Let's hope he's on his game here.

5 Off My Head: Denizens of the Dead

It's the 35th anniversary of one of my lifetime favorite movies, Tim Burton's Beetlejuice. This is the first movie I was allowed to see in the theater without a parent -- I vividly remember my mom dropping me off at the theater and feeling like the biggest grown-up boy in all the land! And even more so whenever they showed Alec Baldwin from the back in those khakis...

Formative khakis! Anyway I've seen this movie more times than I could ever keep track of, and I've posted about it here on the site twice as many, so what is there left to say at this point? Well actually, I found something. This is one of Burton's richest worlds creatively (which is why it remains mind-boggling they still haven't made a sequel) and there's somebody in some small role to fawn over in nearly every frame. We all love Juno and Otho and all the well-known and quoted weirdos -- but what about the bit-parts? Here are five of my faves!

5 Fun Beetlejuice Bit Parts

The dog that kills Adam and Barbara -- Look at that sweet little face! Who'd have guessed that that sweet little face covers up the soul of a cold-blooded murderer? Well that's what the bastard (or perhaps the bitch) is. Just sauntering off as our heroes drown, not a care in the world. I bet that dog leaves a trail of corpses littered in its wake across Winter River, Connecticut. I bet that dog crashed the airplane that killed all those hot dead football players in Juno's office. That dog must be stopped!

Beryl (Adelle Lutz) -- She always makes me think of that picture on the right of a hairless cat. I don't know why. But I hope to pass this brain disease along to as many people as possible a la the curse from The Ring's videotape. 

The Devil Hookers -- I mean, obviously.

The Janitor (Simmy Bow) -- The dead janitor in the hallway of Juno's office who tells the Maitlands about the exorcized souls trapped in limbo is played by the same actor who tells Pee-wee Herman the story of "Large Marge" in Pee-wee's Big Adventure. I love that he's kind of an afterlife exposition delivery system for Tim Burton Movies. Sad / weird side-note: he died before Beetlejuice came out so playing a ghoul was his last role. 

Old Bill (Hugo Stanger) the barber -- I bet y'all thought I would go with one of the smashed-apart weirdos that populate Juno's office right? The flat guy with the tire-tracks or the fairy woman with the slit wrists. Well nope! I feel like Old Bill deserves his moment. The way he says, "Jus... just trim it a little" always makes me laugh for some reason. He died not long after Beetlejuice came out too. A fitting note to end on!

What are your favorite Beetlejuice bits?

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

Professor Abraham Van Helsing: Civilization,

and syphilization, have advanced together.

One of the foundational films of my film-loving life, Francis Ford Coppola's Bram Stoker's Dracula, premiered in Los Angeles on this day thirty years ago. Which means that this is also give or take the thirty year anniversary of me kicking a hole in my mother's bedroom door because she refused to let me go see the R-rated movie I so desperately wanted to see. Ahhh memories!

Funny enough I only this year saw the movie for the first time on the big screen when the Paris Theater here in NYC played it -- it was as spectacular as expected, and the next time I'm home I might have to kick a hole in my mother's bedroom door again for keeping me from the experience for thirty full fucking years. What a movie! 

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Tom Wlaschiha Seven Times

What an unexpected treat it's been, seeing Tom Wlaschiha get some attention again thanks to the latest season of Stranger Things, after some time uhh you not, not having that -- Tom first caught our eye back in 2011 the very second he got cast in the role of "Jaqen H'ghar" in Game of Thrones and I did a big gratuitous post about him; even though the show under-used him (he was after all playing a character who could shape-shift) I still posted about him a lot, but it's been a minute since he's been on anything I have watched. But now...

Spent about half this season of #StrangerThings4 wishing these two’s scenes were gonna turn into a MIDNIGHT EXPRESS homage pic.twitter.com/Y8a3samatn

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) June 4, 2022

... I watch. And I like. Not just the sexual tension between him and David Harbour (not just that) -- I have seen some people complaining about the recent batch of episodes as being too scattered and bloated but I liked them? I don't necessarily disagree with those complaints, but if they hadn't had the probably superfluous Russian Prison storyline I wouldn't have gotten my sexual tension, so bring on the bloat if you ask me. Anyway these photos are from the ever reliable Zoo Magazine (via) and there are more after the jump...

Can This Candy Man Can

Of course most people's immediate reactions to today's news that Timothée Chalamet will be starring in a Willy Wonka prequel -- titled just Wonka -- has been to think of Gene Wilder's classic performance in the 1971 film, and I get that. But I have to admit that my first thought reading this news was actually of Johnny Depp, and this is coming from someone who's watched the 1971 film dozens of times and Tim Burton's abysmal remake starring Depp exactly once and that was one too many times. (Except for Missi Pyle, who was very funny, because when isn't Missi Pyle funny?) No I thought of Depp because Timmy's path keeps crossing with Depp, and Johnny Depp would not have been my first thought (or hope) if I was the person mapping out Timmy's adult career. 

First and foremost there is of course the fact that Timmy dated Johnny's daughter Lily-Rose for awhile (I can't remember if they're still together), but there was also that Edward Scissorhands themed commercial that had Timmy playing OG Edward's son opposite Winona Ryder. The first time I thought of the two as linked was that uber-goth acting video Timmy did for The New York Times in 2017 during the awards-run for Call Me By Your Name -- it was very Sleepy Hollow, and if you wanna talk about a role you can picture Timmy in with great ease then I recommend you mentally face-map him onto Ichabod Crane. Real easy!

Anyway I don't think most people think Timmy is the problem with the Wonka news -- this rumor went around in January anyway, and everybody seemed to agree that Chalamet was a better pick than the other stated option on deck, Spider-twink Tom Holland. I think most people's problems with this news is just a lack of need with regards to this project in general. Who's thirsting for this movie? Hollywood seems real in love right now with Origin Stories a la the Cruella movie coming out any day now and I'll agree, they're just so lazy. If there's one good bit of news here it's that Paul King, the guy who directed the two Paddington movies, is directing this, and those movies unexpectedly ruled.

13 Rats of Halloween #12

I am never sure which I love more -- the person-shaped rat-pile that Gary Oldman turns into in Francis Ford Coppola's 1992 film Bram Stoker's Dracula, or...

... Cary Elwes' slow-motion shock-n-stache reaction 

to said rat-pile. I'm gonna call it a toss-up. 

(But only because I already wrote up this movie's mustaches last year.) God I do adore this movie so. And thankfully we've indoctrinated another member into our cult -- our pal Michael Cusumano wrote up a splendid piece at The Film Experience just yesterday, admitting he'd somehow never seen this movie until now, and how very very empty his life had been without it. I added the "empty" part but come on! Obviously!

Also, a happy one-day-belated birthday to our gal Winona Ryder! I love that Coppola shows one of the rats nipping at her toes in this moment -- do recall that thirty seconds earlier she'd been banging the hell out of that pile-of-rats. Sexually speaking. Makes one wonder which part of Dracula that rat nipping at her heel comprises. 

Anyway like all good re-tellings of the Dracula story there are rats all over Coppola's film -- and, spoiler alert, more on this tomorrow with our final entry in this year's "13 Rats of Halloween countdown! -- but this is really their moment to shine. Out of all the on-screen forms that Drac takes in this version -- green mist, erect werewolf, John Lennon -- the pile-o-rats has always been my favorite. It just has that certain je ne se quoi you're looking for. I think it's the dramatic unfolding of its arms, all like, "Here I am, bitches! Come'n get me!" that really seals the deal.

Bram Stoker's Dracula Came & Conquered

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There are maybe half a dozen movies I could point at and say, "This is the movie that made me a Movie Nerd," and Francis Ford Coppola's 1992 version of Bram Stoker's Dracula is a biggie. And I don't mean just a Horror Movie Nerd -- I mean an all-around Nerd About The Movies, of any and all genres. As a 14-year-old at the time it came out I wasn't allowed to see anything R-rated in the theater due to my religious upbringing -- I kicked a hole in my mother's bedroom door throwing a fit when she refused to take me, proving yes it's true, I have always been a little bitch. It's probably for the best she said no though -- Keanu getting his dick bitten by three topless vampire concubines would've been a real awkward watch with my mother sitting beside me. 

I didn't see the film until it hit home video -- for some reason what I rented at the video store hardly got policed -- but I already knew it pretty well by then thanks to the companion book about the making of the film that came out alongside it, a copy of which I managed to snag at the bookstore at the mall while on my own. I studied that book like the bible, reading it back to front several times, and what a smashing introductory film education it proved for a kid who didn't know jack-shit about The Movies. 

Coppola (who by the way is celebrating his 81st birthday today) utilizes all sorts of classic techniques over the course of the film -- I learned about rear-projection, about running the film backwards, about playing with exposures and matte paintings and forced perspective. The section about Eiko Ishioka's astonishing and over-the-top costumes was also real formative -- hearing what went into the choices she and Coppola made, the way they were referencing not just film history but all sorts of outside arts, and why they were making those choices, gave me an understanding of the film crafts, the reach of them, for the very first time. This film is a treasure trove for cinema home-schooling.

Anyway for today's "Great Moments in Horror Actressing" over at The Film Experience I wrote up my thoughts on probably my favorite performance in the film, that of Sadie Frost as Mina's tragic friend Lucy, and how her work alongside Ishioka's specifically walks the perfect line -- the film flies highest, if you ask me, where the twain meet. The overheated tone, the gothic posturing, the big swings towards silent cinema and kabuki theater, they all come together like nothing else ever put on screen with Frost's work, a fireball for the ages.

THIS MOVIE IS TOO MUCH pic.twitter.com/vHBVEu6Bix

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) April 7, 2020

Dacre Montgomery Seven Times

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Just a couple of weeks until the big banging third season of Stranger Things drops on Netflix for the fireworks-friendly holiday of July 4th, and our bad boy Dacre Montgomery is covering the new issue of GQ Germany to get us all in the mood -- I posted a couple of preview shots of this shoot on the Tumblr awhile back but the entire thing's here now (via) so here we are, following. If you missed this season's trailer you can see that right here. I felt mixed towards the second season -- I honestly don't even remember what happened at this point? -- but if they have more wrestling between Dacre and Joe Keery I could be swayed. Real swayed. Hit the jump for the rest...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Heathers (1989)

Veronica: Dear Diary. Heather told me she teaches people "real life." She said, real life sucks losers dry. You want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly. I said, so, you teach people how to spread their wings and fly? She said, yes. I said, you're beautiful.

Although Heathers is always classified as a 1988 film it didn't actually get its U.S. release until March 31st of 1989, meaning its 30th anniversary is this weekend! Fuck us gently with a chainsaw, and such. We've posted plenty on the film over the years, given the mental real estate it occupies inside our brains, click here to scan back and give your corn nuts a twist. Dead Gay Sons forever!

Which is Hotter?

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I'm surprised that I didn't ask this question when Joe Kerry and Dacre Montgomery had their big homoerotic shower-n-wrestling scenes on Stranger Things last time around but here's to hoping that the third season keeps that vibe going, since it's an integral part of anything from the 80s that Stranger Things so deeply fetishizes. 

survey solutions

Anyway yes these shots are from the new trailer, which looks like a lot of fun -- I'm loving all of the Shopping Mall shit in there, which is taking me right back. If we don't get a Chopping Mall reference though I'll be hella pissed. Here's the trailer:

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Stranger Things returns on July 4th. 

Now with 100% more Harbour Stache!

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Reality Bites (1994)

Vickie: You don't understand. Every day, all day, it's all that I think about, OK? Every time I sneeze, it's like I'm four sneezes away from the hospice, and it's like it's not even happening to me. It's like I'm watching it on some crappy show like Melrose Place or some shit, right? And I'm the new character, I'm the HIV-AIDS character, and I live in the building and I teach everybody that it's OK to be near me, it's OK to talk to me, and then I die. And there's everybody at my funeral wearing halter tops or chokers or some shit like that.
Lelaina: Vickie stop, OK? Just stop.
You're freaking out. And you know what?
You're gonna have to deal with the results.
Whatever they are, we're gonna have to deal with
them just like we've dealt with everything else.
Vickie: This isn't like everything else.
Lelaina: I know that, all right? But it's gonna be OK,
you know? I know it's gonna be OK.
Melrose Place is a really good show.

I just noticed that the "voice of a generation" Reality Bites is turning 25 a week from today, and since I'm not going to be here a week from today it seemed a good idea to wish the movie a happy 25 now, while I am here. (PS I will be off-line both Friday & Monday, so adjust yourselves accordingly.) So happy 25, Reality Bites! This remains the best thing Ben Stiller has directed -- yes it's better than Tropic Thunder and The Cable Guy. Well maybe it's not better than the "Legend of T.J. O'Pootertoot," skit on The Ben Stiller Show, but that's a close one.
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I suppose I might be biased about Reality Bites since I was a junior in high school when it came out and it was perfectly timed to shape (read: warp) my idea about imminent adulthood, or thereabouts -- it does certainly have its faults, both of them squarely aimed at Winona Ryder's love interests; Ethan Hawke's "Troy" was unbearably smug in every single frame from where I stood, even back then, and Ben Stiller himself gives a sort of flat and lifeless performance as "Michael." He should've just focused on directing, I think.

online survey

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But I love everything having to do with Winona & Janeane & especially the adorable and relentlessly underrated Steve Zahn, whose coming out sequence (which I've posted about previously) was indispensable to this closeted teen. Turn up The Knack and tell me what are your thoughts or memories on Reality Bites?

Great Moments In Movie Shelves #174

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"It was the room in which most of the 

real things of his life had happened."

The narrator of Martin Scorsese's masterpiece The Age of Innocence (you know, just Joanne Woodward) says that line above at very nearly the end of the movie, right before listing off all of the things that would go on to happen in Newland's study -- his son was christened and took his first steps there; he'd kissed his daughter through her veil before driving her to the church on her wedding day. Woodward tells us all of this as the camera spins around 360 degrees and gives us glimpses of time passing...

... in one of Marty's typically effortless camera master-strokes, showing us how this man's entire life could be narrowed down and confined to a single cramped room, four walls lined floor to ceiling with beautiful objects and bookshelves bearing in and down. At one point earlier in the film Archer takes down one of those books...

... and dares to dream about running off to see those spectacular lands pictured - India or Japan, really as far as all that - but as sure as they're just two-dimensional ideas tapping against the tips of his fingers he's not alone, he's never alone, and his beloved betrothed May is there to smirk and pooh-pooh his wayward dreams of a wilder life. There will be no new lands for Newland. As if she sensed his fantasies coming (and she always does, all the quicker to gently snuff them out) May seems dressed perfectly for the occasion...

Her orientalist-inspired pale pink floral dressing gown is all the travel he's gonna get. This room, lined with gorgeous dusty objects walling him in, is more or less his tomb, guarded by a dutiful keeper, and it's the scene right before Joanne Woodward lists everything that happens there that makes that the clearest.

That's when May snuffs his dreams out most explicitly, most baldly, telling him he can't leave without her and she isn't going anywhere - she's pregnant now, you see - and anyway she told his one true love to take a hike already, as we see the painted ruins of some far away where-ever swallowed up by the shadows behind her.

My favorite manifestation, though, of May (Winona Ryder, so cutting in her sharply sweet simplicity) dashing Newland's impossible dreams on the rocks comes a few minutes earlier in, of course, this very same room...

... as we see her side-eye a little tumble of embers in the fireplace. A little flame she dutifully tends to, pushing back into place. 

This room, so warm and golden, is so effortlessly contained you 

never even notice anything's wrong until your fingers have gone cold.