Make Jake The Groom!

All due apologies to the main cast of Maggie Gyllenhaal's The Bride!, meaning Jessie Buckley and Christian Bale mainly, but I was always going to begin this post with a picture of Jake -- no matter how small his role in the movie might be (and it's honeslty a little bit bigger than I assumed it would be) (that's what he said) it's always him. And thankfully a couple of extra shots from that new photoshoot I shared yesterday appeared this afternoon so no need for redundancy. Anyway! Exclamation point! The time has come, now that The Bride! is in theaters, for me to review The Bride! -- funny how that works. Click on over to Pajiba to read my thoughts on the movie, which is... 

... a lotta movie. I'm gonna make you click to find out if I liked it or not. But in related news the movie is already available to pre-order on physical media -- no release date set yet but buy the limited 4K steelbook here, or just the regular ol' blu-ray right here. That said you should probably watch the movie first, given how all over the map reactions have been. Also of note, physically-media speaking -- Waxwork Records is putting out a vinyl of the film's soundtrack which delightfully includes a few songs sung by Mr. Jake Gyllenhaal himself! That's out in May supposedly, you can pre-order it here. What a good sister Maggie is, giving her brother a lil' singing and dancing spotlight to savor. The boy loves a spotlight.

One Week To Get Your Ho On!

Hope your hollies are ready to get jollied y'all.

Billy Magnussen Twelve Times

Too bad that this photo-shoot of Billy Magnusson in Numero Netherlands magazine didn't pop off last week so I could've shared it as his film Coup! hit theaters (and streaming as well I believe?) -- as I briefly mentioned Thursday I was underwhelmed by the movie (I just didn't buy a second of it) but as a vehicle for Billy's hotness it delivers and sometimes (every time) that is enough for me. (Although points deducted for Billy having a scene where his character strips naked in front of everybody and we don't see shit. How dare they!) Anyway there is also a chat with Billy in the mag which you can read at that first link up top or per usual if you just want the pictures I got just the pictures after the jump...

Tell It To My Hartnett

The big movie out this weekend is M. Night Shyamalan's Trap starring Josh Hartnett -- I have not seen this yet, but I already have my tickets and am going to the theater to do just that over the weekend like a regular ol' person. Nothing will ever keep me from Josh! The fact that I heard they weren't screening this for critics -- I'm not 100% on that since I still only get invited to things about half the time, but I certainly wasn't invited -- is worrisome, but the trailer looks fun... and Josh. I do it all for Josh! Anyway besides that there is the horror movie Cuckoo with Hunter Schafer and Dan Stevens (which is pretty good) and the dark class-comedy Coup! with Peter Sarsgaard and Billy Magnusson (which is not good but Billy looks deeply, incredibly hot in it so it's watchable enough) so maybe you'll see something. Maybe not. I don't know. I am incredibly tired and can't think of clever things to say right now. So I will just bid y'all adieu until Monday -- I might have some more Fantasia reviews going up over the weekend though, so keep an eye on my socials for links. Or don't. It's so hot y'all. I cannot think. Bye. 

War of the Staches

Well this one looks fun! Peter Sarsgaard and Billy Magnusson's musaches face off in Coup!, a class-warfare comic thriller about a fancy man (Magnusson) facing a take-over by his head-chef (Sarsgaard) during the Spanish Flu pandemic of the nineteen-teens. There's some The Menu, some Triangle of Sadness, there's the great Sarah Gadon and there's every single shot of Billy with his mustache making me swoon.

What else does one need from life? Here's the trailer:

Coup! is out on August 2nd. And if you need

 more Billy Stache right now, hit the jump...

Jake Takes Tribeca

Remember that scene in Pretty Woman where Richard Gere bangs Julia Roberts on the piano in the hotel bar? I hadn't thought of that scene in eons but looking at that photo of Jake Gyllenhaal brought it all flooding right back for some reason. Huh, wonder why? Aaanyway that photo is one I missed from his THR shoot last week -- see the rest here. I come bearing (and baring!) a few other Jake-flavored things, too -- most importantly the word that... 

Yeah so #PresumedInnocent is now streaming on Apple+ https://t.co/E6RZaeDTpG pic.twitter.com/dvCJojRflO

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) June 13, 2024

... yes, his Apple+ series Presumed Innocent is now streaming on Apple+. I think it's just the first two episodes? I don't know, I haven't checked, but I do believe this series is a weekly thing not a binge-it-all-at-once thing. I got to see the first two episodes at Tribeca this past week, which you might already know if you saw me shrieking on Twitter about stumbling into Jake in person -- in the flesh, as they say -- right before the screening. I posted a couple of photos on Twitter but why would I not share more if I have more? Indeed -- there is no coherent reason why I would not do that. So let's hit the jump for Jake's flesh in the vicinity of my flesh (including a video from the Q&A following the screening!)...

Presumed Sexy

It's only a wee minute long but the first teaser trailer for Jake Gyllenhaal's Apple+ limited series adaptation of Presumed Innocent has arrived and 1) I had forgotten it co-stars both Ruth Negga and Renate Reinsve, and 2) there are some shots in here so steamy my glasses are all fogged up, and I don't wear glasses! The moment when Renate chokes Jake...

... I am gonna need a minute or two of recovery y'all. Anyway the series will premiere on June 12th -- also before that the first episode will be screening at the Tribeca Film Festival and obviously I'm hoping to be there for that. Also on the show is Peter Sarsgaard, Lily Rabe, Elizabeth Marvel. Watch:

So what do we think? I am, unsurprisingly, a fuck yeah.

Pics of the Day

It's been over a year since I last posted about Jake Gyllenhaal's first foray into television, a re-do of the Harrison Ford legal thriller Presumed Innocent (based on Scott Turow's book) for Apple and they just dropped the first official image -- Jake dapper in three-piece suits, I am here for it. The series is spearheaded by JJ Abrams and David E. Kelley so no slouch in the showrunner department -- also it co-stars Ruth Negga and Renate Reinsve and Lily Rabe and Jake's bro-in-law Peter Sarsgaard (sidenote: is there any modern actor more built for legal thriller than Pete? He just seems perfect for them) so it's got a lot going for it. No word on a release date yet, this was just a glimpse of Apple's 2024 slate. And it also included our first official look at Colin Farrell in Sugar (below), about which we know next-to-nothing exscept he plays a private detective, which is kinda obvious from the photo. Men in suits!

Peter Sarsgaard Four Times

Since it's been on Netflix for several weeks now I assume all of you have seen Maggie Gyllenhaal's The Lost Daughter by now, and if you've seen The Lost Daughter by now then I can only believe that you've appreciated the way that Maggie uses her husband, the actor Peter Sarsgaard, in the film -- I don't think I've ever seen an instance of one half of a married couple so clearly understanding the not-altogether-flattering appeal of their partner and exploiting it so deftly! If that at all sounds like an insult please know it is not -- I love Pete and his specific thing, but his specific thing is being a bit of a creepazoid and I love that Maggie and him tooootally get it. 

Any list of "Best Shots of 2021" that doesn't include Maggie Gyllenhaal fetishizing her husband Peter Sarsgaard's voluptuous chest hair is a fraudulent list #TheLostDaughter pic.twitter.com/jZ5BAzMyrl

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) January 3, 2022

It's some Cassavetes / Rowlands levels of getting it. Anyway I bring this up because there's a new-ish interview with Sarsgaard in HERO Magazine that was conducted by his co-star Jessie Buckley -- you can read it here, or if you just want to appreciate Peter's stupendous beard and lots of expensive-looking layers of wools and whatnot I get that too, and I've got three more photos of it after the jump...

Good Morning, World

Hey y'all you know Will Poulter? Kinda funny looking little kid from movies like Son of Rambow and We're the Millers -- seen most recently and delightfully playing the dickhead best friend in Midsommar? Well dude looks like this now apparently -- this is on the series Dopesick, Hulu's show about Big Pharma starring Michael Keaton, Peter Sarsgaard, Michael Stuhlbarg, Kaitlyn Dever, Rosario Dawson, and in their debut role, Will Poulter's gigantic new muscles. 

Who the hell saw this coming? It's like Jonathan Tucker 2.0. I wonder if he's gunning (hehe see what I did there) for a superhero role? I've liked WIll Poulter for a long time, he's got charisma and talent -- I remember when he almost got the role of Pennywise in the new It movies! That would've been good casting. (Not that Bill Skarsgard didn't end up being the best part of those, even though I'd worried he was too cute for the role.) But this I did not expect. Tell me your thoughts on these, uhh, developments, in the comments and hit the jump for more gifs...

Jakey's On Fire

Time for my second-so-far review out of this year's Toronto International Film Fest, and you've maybe heard me already speak of my excitement for this one once or twice around these parts, due to its star -- Antoine Fuqua's The Guilty starring Jake Gyllenhaal is reviewed by me at Pajiba right here. Y'all don't have too long to wait on this one for yourselves (if you didn't see it for yourself at TIFF, obviously) because it's hitting Netflix on October 1st. Jake's very good in it, I thought! Here is the trailer if you missed it.

Guilty As Charged

Well forget that measly lil' glimpse of The Guilty we got last week -- today comes the first full trailer, and it looks to me like we're getting what we were hoping to get, i.e.e two hours of nothing but Jake Jake and more Gyllenhaal sitting behind a desk looking tense. That's what the original film was -- just with Jakob Jakob and more Cedergren in the place of Jake Jake and more Gyllenhaal -- and that's the formula that worked once so why eff with it? When this remake was first announced, along with a starry cast of names -- Ethan Hawke, Paul Dano, Riley Keough, Peter Sarsgaard -- we'd worried that writer-director Antoine Fuqua had opening it up in mind; this trailer puts that to rest. To bed. Jake, in bed. Wait what was I talking about? oh right here's the trailer.

The Guilty hits theaters on September 24th and Netflix on October 1st; it's also playing TIFF next week, and I plan on reviewing it from there so stay tuned...

Some Jake In Your Ears

I imagine some of you steer clear of Twitter because I have been told it is a "nightmare hellscape" to some, so perhaps you missed me tweeting this stuff out over the weekend (I personally thrive inside of most nightmare hellscapes) -- a teaser poster and a teaser trailer for Antoine Fuqua's forthcoming Netflix remake The Guilty, starring Jake Gyllenhaal, dropped. Well actually what happened was first Jake posted a phone number on his Instagram account...

Jake Gyllenhaal just posted a phone number that gives you an ad for THE GUILTY if you call it! #theguilty pic.twitter.com/DZM68Gai5u

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) August 28, 2021

... and when you called the number suddenly it was Jake's voice talking to you and, well, it was such an erotic experience I didn't hear a word of what else happened. I might have actually been unconscious for most of Saturday because of it? Anyway by the time I'd woken up there was also this teaser trailer, which uses the same audio as the recorded phone call, but adds the specter of Jake's face to the mix. This gives me more hope that the film might, like the original (which PS is streaming on Hulu right now), stay one hundered percent trained on Jake, but we'll see. The film is out on October 1st on Netflix; see some photos from the film here.

Guilty of Biceps in the First Degree

(click to embiggen) I figured it would only be a matter of time before we got our first look at Jake Gyllenhaal in Antoine Fuqua's upcoming Netflix film The Guilty once earlier today Netflix revealed the film's release date is October 1st, aka only about five weeks from now -- and no do not ask me how it's possibly five weeks until October already, I'm still stuck in like March of 2020 over here. 

I am so worried that this movie will be a complete bastardization of the super duper good original (SEE IT) but at least Jake reuniting with Fuqua is making me remember Jake's Southpaw body so all's not for naught https://t.co/OPVAIPUb7h pic.twitter.com/RRmeeVRrkq

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) August 23, 2021

Anyway my assumption was for once right -- no ass outta me this time! -- and there it is up top, our first look. And it looks exactly like one would expect it to look if one has seen the original (spectacular) film which Fuqua's remaking, which was like a one-man play focusing on a 9-1-1 operator (Jakob Cedergren) as he navigates an ever-escalating emergency call. I recommend you see the original! 

Or maybe wait for this one? I guess we'll see. Maybe it will end up being like The Ring vs Ringu and everybody will love the one they saw first the most. Fuqua (who previously directed Jake in Southpaw) also cast Peter Sarsgaard, Riley Keough, Paul Dano, and Ethan Hawke, but we'll have to see then if they're just voices like in the original, or if we will actually get to see their beautiful buncha mugs... which will change the film drastically from its original. (God I hope not, though.) Oh and if you wand to see the rest of what Netflix has lined up for the rest of the year date-wise check out the rundown at AwardsWatch. And now here is a photo of Fuqua's impressive biceps with which we will end:

Who's Jake Gonna Call

So this was weird! Last week a heap of people -- a heeple? -- got added to the cast of Jake Gyllenhaal's upcoming remake of Gustav Moller's Danish thriller The Guilty from 2018 which has Jake's Southpaw director Antoine Fuqua directing. Awesome people! Jake's reuniting with his brother-in-law Peter Sarsgaard for one -- I don't believe they've co-starred in anything since Jarhead ten years ago, correct me if I'm forgetting something. But also there's Ethan Hawke and even better our beloved Riley Keough! And then there's also also Paul Dano, who co-starred with Jake in both Okja and Prisoners...

Should I rewatch Prisoners? pic.twitter.com/qrIau3i11V

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) November 12, 2020

... and Da’Vine Joy Randolph who was so so so very good in Dolemite is My Name last year. That's a great effing cast, right? So why am I saying this is, and I quote, "weird"? Because the 2018 version of The Guilty is best known for being a one-person movie! It starred (the very handsome) Jakob Cedergren as a (very handsome)  9-1-1 operator (do they call it 9-1-1 in Denmark?) who attempts to unravel an ongoing crime via the telephone call that comes in. Its essentially a radio-program playing out across Cedergreen's (very handsome) face for ninety minutes.

Jake first announced he wanted to make this remake a few years ago but I wasn't surprised when it got moved to the front of the pile recently, given this "one man show' factor made filming in the middle of a pandemic a non-issue. But... now they're hiring all these actual actors that are not Jake and I don't know what to think. Are they being hired for just their voices? It's not unheard of (HA GET IT) -- Tom Hardy's movie Locke, the movie that only starred Tom Hardy as he drove around and called people on the phone, used bonafide terrific actors like Ruth Wilson and Andrew Scott and Tom Holland and Olivia fucking Colman to supply those voices. 

But maybe not? Maybe Fuqua & Co have something different up their sleeve and I don't want to be too judgmental out the gate because we always scream, "Do something new with a remake!" It's just... without the "one man show" gimmick of The Guilty it's just another 9-1-1 operator movie like that Halle Berry movie The Call and I don't think Halle Berry even wants to remember The Call.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Frank (2014)

Jon: He said I was cherishable, 

and he picked me to join the band. 

Clara: You are fingers being told which keys to push.

Jon: I push my own keys...

Clara: Ten little bits of bone and skin.

Jon: And I'm perfectly capable of going to my

furthest corners and composing music.

Clara: Your furthest corners?

Jon: My furthest corners.

Clara: Someone needs to punch you in the face.

A happy 43 to Maggie Gyllenhaal today! I'm not even gonna mention her brother Jake (except, you know, that time right there) because Maggie's got plans, big plans, all her own this year -- we've been posting a ton about her directorial debut The Lost Daughter, which just finished filming a couple of weeks ago -- it stars Olivia Colman and Dakota Johnson and Peter Sarsgaard and Jessie Buckley and (our biggest reason for the multiple posts) new-BFFs Paul Mescal & Oliver Jackson-Cohen. And I don't mean to devalue her acting-wise -- she's always great, always. Maybe I should fiiiiinally watch The Kindergarten Teacher in her birthday honor? I've been meaning to for two years! What's your favorite Maggie?

Where'd Ya Get That Gold Chain, Oliver?

A few weeks ago the actors and MNPP legends Oliver Jackson-Cohen and Normal People breakout slash rightful short shorts devotee Paul Mescal were spotted canoodling on a sun-dappled boat together...

I GUESS MY INVITATION TO OLIVER JACKSON-COHEN & PAUL MESCAL’S SEXY BOAT TRIP VACATION GOT LOST IN THE UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE pic.twitter.com/ycTJ4bnWaF

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) October 17, 2020

... and okay no they weren't "canoodling" but I got you to picture it in your head for a hot sec, didn't I? You are welcome. And they weren't so much "spotted" as they were "Instagramming themselves there in order to make spazzes exactly like yours truly have canoodling fantasies about them." And it's okay! I don't mind being gay-baited in the slightest. If it makes a dent in the centuries of women being asked to paw at each other for straight male fantasies I say so be it! I will suffer for their art.

And there are a couple of pictures of Paul in his short-shorts, just because I felt this post needed more photos. You're welcome. Again. Anyway nobody really seemed to know what the hell Oliver & Paul were hanging out for, since as far as I knew -- and I feel as if I of all people would know an otherwise if an otherwise had existed -- they'd never been spotted together before. Well now we know why! Oliver had joined the cast (thx Mac) of Maggie Gyllenhaal's directorial debut The Lost Daughter, which I told you Mescal would be starring in back in September.

Variety says that Oliver (as well as Ed Harris) joins the already-killer cast, which includes Olivia Colman, Peter "Maggie's Husband" Sarsgaard, the great Jessie Buckley... oh and Dakota Johnson baby! This movie is more than I can even. More than I can even. Here's my original post about it with the details on "what is it about" or whatever, like that matters at this point. 

We Can Be Jarheads Just For One Day

These are, very plainly, things that I have posted a gazillion point five times in the past fifteen years. But here on the 15th anniversary of Sam Mendes' 2005 film Jarhead -- which is a film that I have spent perhaps an entire year's worth of time thinking about in that fifteen years thanks to Jake Gyllenhaal's whole... thing... he had going on -- and on a day when I can't muster much else to say, it seems worthwhile to link you on over to the Tumblr, where I shared a lovely gallery of set photos of Jake a couple years back. 

Was it a couple of years ago? Was it a couple of weeks ago? I have no concept of time right now. Whatever the time, they're there now dammit! Have you watched Jarhead recently? I have not! I have no thoughts at this moment on Jarhead as an actual film. But as a delivery system for Prime Jake In (And Out!) Of Uniform Jarhead remains unsurpassed!

Paul Mescal Seven Times

Here's some fun news I missed posting about a few weeks back -- Normal People thighs I mean actor Paul Mescal will next be starring in Maggie Gyllenhaal's directorial debut! (thx Mac) You know what that means. That means that when Maggie's brother Jake visits the set him and Paul Mescal will be within jock-sniffing distance of one another. That's what that means. Maybe they can have a Gold Chain showdown like we predicted!!! Anyway the film is called The Lost Daughter and the full cast is truly insane...

... besides Paul it will star Olivia Colman, Jesse Buckley, Peter "I Am Married To The Director" Sarsgaard, and our queen Dakota Johnson! I wrote about the movie at TFE when the majority of the cast was announced in February, aka thirty billion years ago, but the Paul Mescal news -- and more specifically today's appearance of this new photo-shoot of Paul Mescal (via) -- warranted another post, I'd wager. Let's hit the jump for all of the new photos then, since we're here anyway I mean...

Jake Puts His Ass Up For Tom Holland

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He did it, he did it! Yesterday Tom Holland challenged Jake Gyllenhaal and Ryan Reynolds (oh and his best buddy Harrison too, who did it last night) to do what he did, namely put on a shirt whilst also hand-standing. We covered it here, rather thoroughly, including how Jake immediately teased him and us back... we weren't sure Jake was gonna do it (Ryan Reynolds chickened out), but here it is!

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Blessings be upon us all. Also I love how at the end of the video Jake hysterically challenges Hugh Jackman and 50 Cent and his sister Maggie to do this. LOL please Maggie! We need to see it. (And then she should challenge the hubby Peter Sarsgaard.) We are blessed.