I Quit Smoking Fourteen Years Ago Today

Cue up your best cancer cough and prepare for imminent arousal, as it's our favorite smoke-tastic time of year again -- May 5th, when I annually celebrate the day I stopped smoking cigarettes with a massive collection of photographs of celebrity actor people posing with butts in hand. The smoking kind of butts! Not the other kind -- after all we post the other kind of butts being handled 364 days a year. Today's for the simple smoking sort.

Anyway it's kinda nuts I've been doing these posts for fourteen (!!!!) full years now (click here for the entire archive) and I still haven't come anywhere near to running out of photographs -- I do keep a folder of these all year long to build up to the moment, but still, this is the easiest job I assign myself. And that's probably why I've managed to keep it up! 

But disastrously deadly health side-effects aside nobody's stopped taking these photos in the slightest. And there's something kind of horribly reassuring about that to me? Don't get me incorrect, I am incredibly glad I qui, and I don't recommend anybody start and/or continue smoking... but it remains the second sexiest damn thing I can see beautiful men doing. I'm sorry! It just is and does and I have the proof of it! Now hit the jump for dozens...

Good Morning, World

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A happy 33rd birthday to Kevin Zegers today - his Instagram is mostly pictures of his kids these days with the random "LGBT ally" stuff sprinkled in (there's some nice trolling of Kirk Cameron too) so I had to go aways back through to find these two shots, but they were worth the effort I think. Kevin still works plenty but I do think he should've gotten more and better work post-Transamerica, don't you? He showed a lot of promise in that movie, for the adult post-Air-Bud portion of his career.

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... getting creative with Jonathan Tucker.

That's about as vague an innuendo I can come up with, but I really have no idea what's going on in that Instagram picture he posted (besides he's hot to death) of himself from his MMA show Kingdom's currently on-going pre-production phrase - maybe he's getting the tattoos applied for his character? Lord knows we're used to seeing them a lot (and thank god for that).

Meanwhile Jonathan's friend and fellow actor (and hot piece) Kevin Zegers posted this video of JTuck keeping it tight. In summation, the internet is wonderful; never go away, internet.

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Good Morning, Kevin Zegers

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A happy 30th to Kevin Zegers today - it's a shame he hasn't really found that role after Transamerica, he was very good in that, I thought. I blame whomever's idea it was for him and gratuitous god Godfrey Gao to  play boyfriends in those City of Bones movies and never give them a love scene. 

Anyway as far as actors on Instagram go Kevin keeps a fairly respectable one, light on the "Me! Me! Me!" ness that plagues his peers (which we exploit with glee, natch) - it seems like he's got a solid and happy personal life; this being somebody who started acting at the age of 8, this is cause to celebrate. But then we wouldn't be writing this post if we didn't find some stuff to show off, so hit the jump for a few shots (with a bonus extra gif from Transamerica worth a good hard glance or three)...

I Am Link

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--- Playing Broad - I keep hearing people rave about the British series Broadchurch but I don't really know anything else about it - except surprise surprise it's getting an American remake! We already knew that David Tennant was starring; now comes word that Kevin Zegers of all people will be his co-star. Anyway any fans of the original here?

--- Wight's Stuff - Because it matters what Edgar Wright thinks (I'm not being the slightest bit facetious saying that) here is Edgar Wright's list of his ten favorite movies of 2013. I'd say that's a pretty damned solid list, for the most part. (I've already learned to bite my tongue over Before Sunrise.)

--- Full Bloom - As male stars are now required to do whenever they get naked on-screen, here's Orlando Bloom's embarrassing interview where all they ask him about is his dick. Fun fact - apparently he got so used to being naked on the set of Zulu that he'd find his anatomy absent-mindedly pressed against people. Good grief why wasn't I on that set? You'd think my spidey sense would've tingled, alerted me, called me there. Anyway here's Orlando's bum in the trailer for that movie. He may've been walking around naked but I have my doubts we're getting Full Bloom on screen.
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--- Sister Lister - I think that Rooney and Kate Mara should place higher ( I love them both) but The Film Experience's top ten today is a great one on acting sister pairs, in honor of Joan Fontaine's passing and the renewed interest in her decades long feud with her sister Olivia de Havilland. I wish I weren't so busy off-blog and could do a proper post on Joan Fontaine. Maybe once the holidays are over we'll circle back, give her some love.

--- Class War -  I expected to loathe The Purge based off of my per-conceived notions, and it ended up being slightly better than that. That doesn't mean I much want to watch a sequel, but they did just cast adorable Zach Gilford so maybe I will. He's certainly a step up from Meth McGee. I was just thinking of Zach over the weekend; I confused Joseph Morgan for him.

--- And finally here's the trailer for Grand Piano, which is basically Speed set on a piano. Now there's a sentence! It stars Elijah Wood as a concert pianist who's in the sights of a sniper. I don't even know what the fuck. It got great reviews out of Fantastic Fest though!

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Kevin Zegers Five Times

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(click to embiggen) Why do they release things like this over the weekend? Maybe if Flaunt had dropped these pictures during the week last week his new movie wouldn't have been such a flop. Alright it still would have, The Mortal Instruments looked awful from every angle... save the Kevin Zegers is boyfriends with gorgeous Godfrey Gao one. They really should've pushed that harder. I could barely even find pictures of them together. They needed to show much more of this:

Gratuitous Godfrey Gao II

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In "Dear lord what a dangerously dumb oversight on my part" news, I allowed nine months to pass since my last gargantuan gratuitous post for actor (and male model, natch) Godfrey Gao, and in the time since he has had approximately twelve hundred billion hot photographs of himself taken. Approximately. And not just photographs! Take a gander at this jeans commercial...
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I know it is hot outside, but it is getting hot in here, am I right or am I right? He's so sickeningly pretty I want to slap him silly. (Whether it's my hands that I'm slapping him with I'll leave up to you.)

Anyway even if I allowed too much time to pass this post here is timely, since I've been seeing the commercials for that Mortal Instruments movie all over the place, which will be his introduction to American audiences when it comes out in August. And playing gay no less. And playing gay with Kevin Zegers no less.

From what I hear the two of their characters are side-characters and so we probably won't get a lapse in the action where they go at it for ten minutes, unfortunately. But that's the movie I'll be watching in my mind the whole time! (And we will see him in his underwear, we already know.)

So like I said we've got a ton of pics to share, about seventy more actually - you know the drill - hit the jump and wade in deep, y'all.

Instagram My Heart

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Chris Pratt wasn't the only dude spreading personalized beefcake across the internet this weekend - here are a couple others I spotted. Up above that's Cheyenne Jackson (via). And here are Diego Boneta (via)...

... and Kevin Zegers (via). And then here is a shot of Henry Cavill behind-the-scenes of Man of Steel that I hadn't seen before...

Question: anybody have any good Instagrammers to follow? I haven't been able to find a good list of who's on there. I'm sure there are oodles of worthwhile narcissists that I'm missing out on...

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Gratuitous Godfrey Gao

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I was all set to wish Kevin Zegers a happy 28th birthday but whilst looking for a decent picture of him on Tumblr I stumbled upon some worthwhile information. I already knew that he's playing gay in the movie adaptation of the popular YA series The Mortal Instruments - what I didn't know is there's another gay around and he'll be played by this here horribly attractive fellow named Godfrey Gao. 

I dunno what age these books aim towards but according to Gao's character's wiki there's flirting and kissing involved between Zegers' character and Gao's in the first book... so you know, bring that shit on. Neither of them are the main character though, so who knows how much play they'll get.

Anyway as these pictures make clear, Gao was a model before making this stab at an acting career, and no doubt he'll always have work at that at least. Obviously. Hit the jump for lots and lotsa (to the tune of 45 more pictures) proof!

I Am Link

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--- Fluffy Little - I meant to link to this yesterday and I'm sure y'all have seen this by now but the six plus minute trailer for Cloud Atlas, the adaptation of David Mitchell's much loved book from the Wachowskis and Tom Tykwer, popped up the other night. Check it out at Apple. And here's a gallery of pictures. I was excited for this because I generally like the Wachowskis (even though their movies are hugely hit or miss, they're always visually interesting, plus I adore their politics) and I loooove (it needs four "o"'s for sure) Tykwer, but then I tried to read the book and was so bored by the first fifty pages I set it down and haven't picked it back up, so my enthusiasms waned. But now this footage has me excited again. Not just the look, but the emotion - it feels appropriately grand. I might try picking up the book again.

--- Mortal Queer - Speaking of books and the movies made from them, Kevin Zegers will be playing a total homosexual in The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones, an adaptation of yet another young adult series. Anybody familiar with it? Zegers isn;'t the lead; that'd be the excessively eyebrowed Lily Collins. It's about a girl who finds out she's a demon huntress... it sounds pretty Buffy, honestly. Anyway since this is YA I doubt that Zegers will be going full gay. He'll just be like Gossip Girl gay or whatever. Boring.

--- Kill Show - You know how a lot of people (maybe you were one of them!) hollered about The Hunger Games being a watered-down rip-off of Battle Royale? Well you ain't seen nothing yet - the CW Network is maybe going to make a Battle Royale TV series! Excuse me, I have to go and vomit now.

--- Wave Rider - I watched the trailer for the surfing drama Chasing Mavericks just in hopes of seeing some shirtless and or wet-suited Gerard Butler and it definitely does not deliver on that front but if you watch it with the sound off (I mean, why would you want to hear it anyway?) it seems really really gay and pervy with lots of lingering stares between him and the twink.

--- Prepare Yourself for more glorious glaring Stowe-isms - Revenge is back for its second season on September 30th.

--- Royal and Co - Nat's write-up for his favorite shot in The Royal Tenenbaums for the latest entry in his "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" series is a love letter to Margot and therefore a love letter to my brain. It really is one of my favorite things he's written though. Good job, Nat! You should also check out what Joe wrote at Low Res, because also great. Good job, Joe! This movie inspires greatness in us all, s'my point. Good job, Wes Anderson!

--- Whipped - I guess it was appropriate that I used a scene from an Indiana Jones movie for yesterday's Ways Not To Die since yesterday was the day that Indiana Jones officially died.

--- Le Freak - The director Ben Wheatley, who made the very fine horror slash assassin film Kill List, is going to make something called Freakshift next, which sounds like Men In Black with monsters instead of aliens. I like the title. The word "freak" doesn't get enough play.

---  Count Your Blessing - Final Girl has been posting a lot the past week, which equals happiness. Stacie posted the next month's Film Club pick - Deadly Blessing, which I have never seen and sounds like something I need to see (Sharon Stone!) - as well as giving us a bunch of her awesome sketches. Slasherpede will not be ignored!

Do Dump or Marry - Dawn of the Dudes

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Zach Snyder's super Dawn of the Dead remake (which turns eight years old in a couple of weeks can ya believe it) was on television the other day and I couldn't help but get sucked in for the thirtieth time. It's so good! And also, so filled with attractive gentleman. If you're gonna get trapped in a shopping mall at the end of the world, there would be worse fates than being stuck there with these guys is all I'm saying. (I'd also like Sarah Polley to be there, but for different far less prurient reasons.)

Anyway if the zombie-pocalypse were happening I don't know that I'd bother marrying anyone - it would just become a big ol' fuck-fest until the end, if you ask me - but for the game's sake let us pretend...

You've got Jake Weber, Michael Kelly and Kevin Zegers there alongside you. Which would you pledge whatever little bit of forever is left to, which would you sneak off to the backroom for a solitary flesh-fest with, and which would you shove out  into the throngs of the undead?

And if you wanna substitute in the guy from Modern Family, 

by all means; he seems to know what he is doing.

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Kevin Zegers Seven Times

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(via)

Good Morning, World

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Some classic Kevin Zegers in Transamerica. He turns 27 today. I thought I'd heard that ill-advised (putting it mildly) Bonnie and Clyde remake with him and that Duff girl was canned but IMDb's still got it listed. I don't know if I could think up a worse idea if I sat and tried for awhile, so I'm almost so impressed by the chutzpah of such a thing actually almost existing enough to say, "Hey, go for it! Let's take this crazy ride!" Almost. Not quite, though. I mean... no.

I Am Link

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--- Spooky Stevie - Y'all have probably already watched this but the teaser trailer for Steven Spielberg's mo-cap Rin Tin Tin Rides a Unicorn or whatever it's called movie is online now, if you're curious. I'll watch it later but pre-seeing I am bogged down with doubts, man. One too many dead-eyed Zemeckis movies have put me off this shit, and nothing I've seen from the early art-work's proven that impression wrong yet. That said, I'm an eternal unapologetic Spielberg fan-boy so I'll presumably be convinced otherwise at some point.

--- Gesundheit - Anton Yelchin looks like a booger that just dripped out of Sky Colin Farrell in the first Fright Night poster. (via)

--- Noe Way - Can you believe I still haven't watched Enter the Void yet? Every time I've glanced at the DVD I see that it's 161 minutes long and I just haven't been in the state of mind for it. Shame on me. Looks like Noe might be turning his sanity-challenged eye to Bret Easton Ellis' script called The Golden Suicides next, which would be a meeting of the pyschos for sure.

--- Killer Kevin - BD has three clips and an ankle-suck picture from that Vampire movie starring Kevin Zegers as a you-guessed-it vampire, but he's not naked and/or gay in any of them so I lost interest right quick. Come on, Kevin. I mean really. Know your fan-base.

--- Peen Poll - I don't think you're gonna find another poll on the week's multimedia penises anywhere but at The Film Experience today. Which is a damned shame - they should be everywhere!

--- To A Flame - It doesn't sound like things are going well for Mary Harron's new horror movie The Moth Diaries, which co-stars Scott Speedman - according to BD it's been having trouble getting picked up by a distributor. WTF morons? Mary "American Psycho" Harron has fans sitting here dying from want, and we're being kept from finished product. It ain't right. Read more about TMD here. BD also has some promo art and images at this link. Boo, I says.

--- For contrast, young male horror director JT Petty - who I like just fine don't get me wrong; read my review of his film S&Man here - is having no trouble at all piling up project after project. He's just signed on to direct a J-Horror flick in Japan called Haunted Temple for producers behind the Ring and Ju-On films, while he's not even finished his other movie Hellbenders (more on that here) yet.

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I Am Link

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--- Fassy's X Factor - I almost gave this a post of its own yesterday but decided the image is too tiny to bother giving it that much weight just yet - the first image of the X-Men Muppet Babies popped online and over to the left in the film image is the one that matters most, Fassy as Lil' Magneto. Also, James McAvoy as a young Dr. Xavier.

--- See Lots of Evil - Any of y'all see the 2008 Brit-horror flick The Children? It was about some sort of virus making teeny little tots turn murderous on their parents, and it was a lively little thing. Here's my review. Well its director Tom Shankland is lining up his next movie - it's called Dark Corners and it's a blind lady in danger flick. Hopefully it'll be better than Julia's Eyes, the new Spanish take on this well-told tale, which I didn't like much at all.

--- Fangs For Nothing - I have no idea if this movie will be anything worth watching, but the first images from Vampire, in which cute boy Kevin Zegers plays a you-guessed-it vampire, are over here. It co-stars Keisha Castle-Hughes (remember her?) and Rachel Leigh Cook (don't remember her, please). And then here is a clip from it. I don't know. Kevin Zegers is cute, give me a break.

--- Remakecrimes - The gloriously riveting 2007 Spanish flick Timecrimes is apparently still getting the remake treatment, says Deadline. The man who wrote Searching For Bobby Fischer and Schindler's List, Steven Zaillian, is working on the script. Not bad. You know if they make it something new I'd be very excited to see another take on the story. It's a twisty enough tale that I get something new from every time I watch it, and it'd be simple to spin the story off in any number of ways and keep true to its spirit. But will they? Or will they just make the same movie minus pesky subtitles? Hmm I wonder.

--- The Lindbergh Babe - Isn't it weird that Josh Lucas seems so in demand right now? He's just sort of bee there for a dozen years now, but lately his name's all over junk. Not that I mind. I like to gaze upon him, especially when his clothes are doffed. I don't think he'll be doffing any clothes as Charles Lindbergh in Clint Eastwood's J. Edgar Hoover movie though.

--- Frontways - It's been approximately fifteen thousand years since Alexander Payne's last movie Sideways came out, so it's good to see he's not sitting on his can anymore. His movie with George Clooney is finished, and he's lining up his next film. It's called Nebraska and it's a father-son road-trip movie where the father's convinced (but no one else is) that's he's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes. Sounds like an Alexander Payne movie to me. I just hope there's room for Margo Martindale somewhere in it.

--- Mr. TeeVee Man - Rob Thomas, not the singer but the genius-man who gave us Veronica Mars and Party Down, has a new project on the horizon - a little-league centered comedy for FOX called Little In Common. He's also working on Temp, a show about temps, for NBC. Gimme all of this!

--- The Beautiful Peoples - If you wanna talk about the fashions at the Golden Globes this past Sunday, then check out The Film Experience's twin posts on the fellas and the ladies. Nat does such a lovely job with these lineups every time.

--- Westeros: The Primer - If you've been wondering what the hell these Song of Ice and Fire books are that I've taking to yapping about with stuttered urgency over the past several months, then let me direct you over to my bud Sean T. Collins spectacular post explaining the series to those considering a glance. He made me want to start the series all over again by the time he was through. They really are must-reads; I must insist you all pick them up. I finished the fourth book A Feast For Crows just last night, meaning I'm now joining in with the rest of the series' fans in patiently awaiting for the fifth book. I can only hope that the HBO series coming in April will get the wheels moving.
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