Three Hot Men For the Price of None

I'm not in Toronto right now with all of the other critics but that's okay because the actors on the scene are giving the rest of us a real fucking show -- this weekend it was one hot sexy snap of our faves after another. The menfolk are demanding attention! And we're ready to give it! Even though I shared all three of these pictures on Bluesky already they need to be documented here at MNPP proper. Most especially the above photo of James McAvoy manspreading in a kilt -- that's a look for the record books. You know that line in Clueless about an "unequivocal sex invite"? It's very much that. God damn James, you devil. 

Not that this photo of Chris Evans inviting us to the gun (and pec) show is any sorta slouch! Chris is looking good! (What's new?) Not that I have any idea what movie either him or James are at TIFF for -- I thought for a second that Chris might be reprising his role from the first one in the new Benoit Blanc mystery that premiered at the same time this photo dropped but no, we're not that lucky. (Word on the new Knives Out is semi-ecstatic though so I'm extremely excited.) Anyway finally that brings us to longtime crush Wagner Moura, and we do know what movie he's at TIFF for -- he's there for The Secret Agent, the extremely buzzy new movie from Bacurau director Kleber Mendonça Filho. As a massive Bacurau-head (yes that's a thing) I'm practically foaming at the mouth for this one -- thankfully I only have to foam for a little over week since I'll be seeing it for NYFF next Thursday. Look at that sweet smile! Aww. 

Do It For Captain America

It's proving exceptionally difficult for me to get any work done today with everything happening in this country -- i.e. its quick descent into absolute fascism ya know, no big whoop -- and so looking at the clock I'm tossing my hands in the air and giving up on fighting the tide. A bunch of hateful morons handed the keys to our country to the same man who tried and failed to flush democracy down the toilet four short years ago, and now we're reaping the collapse we deserve for it. I can't write anything entertaining right this moment. I just have to go scream into a pillow, hug the people I love, and prepare to scream myself hoarse at the protest happening on Saturday -- if you missed my earlier post on that click here. As for the movies opening this weekend Celine "Past Lives" Song's latest Materialists starring Pedro Pascal, Dakota Johnson, and this hot slab of America's Ass pictured here is -- despite the attitude I get from commenters on here whenever I've posted about it! -- worth your time. It's not as good as Past Lives was, but it's way more sticky and weird and unexpected than its typical rom-com trailer would have you believe. Anyway that's the sum total of coherent thinking I can type right now. Please everybody be safe, go to a protest this weekend, and fuck up the fascists. America's Ass is counting on you!

And People Wonder...

... why I will love Dakota Johnson forever.

These Three Kings

What the world needs now is love, sweet love, especially when "love" means "Pedro Pascal grinding up against Chris Evans' backside." And it does mean that this time! And if that's possible, anything is. Listen -- it's been a dark day in the real world, and even besides that I've been busy with off-blog stuff so I haven't been here to remedy some of that in my own horny miniscule way. and now I am abandoning you all until Tuesday. Tuesday! It's a holiday yo, and I also am human and need to boot down for a bit. So I leave you with that beautiful image of bisexual throuplery (a promo for their upcoming movie Materialists from Past Lives director Celine Song; I'll share the trailer below) in hopes it'll gift you with some slight reprieve and maybe a smile. Try to stay sane for a few more days. You can do it. Peace and love and hot men grinding on each other to one and all...

Who Wore It Best?

When Orville Peck's ultra-slutty (and ultra-appreciated) Paper Magazine photoshoot broke the other week I considered doing a "Who wore it best? poll with the above photo and its obvious inspiration, which is this classic gay smut photograph taken by classic gay smut photographer Bruce of Los Angeles:

(And PS I very much recommend the big book of Bruce's photography, by the way. Gay heaven.) But I got side-tracked by Tribeca and so that didn't happen. But then today I realized there was an even better poll to be had thanks to Orville's photoshoot, and so here we are...

online polls

Joseph Quinn Six Times

I haven't read the interview yet so I have no idea why it's Lupita N'yongo interviewing Mr. Quinn in Interview Magazine -- wait is he in the new Quiet Place movie maybe? -- but it is, meaning I'll read it because I love Lupita even if I'm holding off on the Joe Quinn train until I can see him in more than just Stranger Things. Which he admittedly knocked outta the park. All I know if he shaved his head and immediately turned into a Mini James McAvoy in my eyes, leaving me confused. But anyway he looks hot as hell in these photos from Interview, and that's really the thing that matters most. We'll see what he does in "the Chris Evans role" in the new Fantastic Four -- it's a big ask, even if those FF movies blew chunks, asking me to forget Chris Evans in that skintight blue suit. (I suppose when the time comes we'll be providing a "Who Wore It Best?" poll to settle the sitch.) Until then we wish him luck! Hit the jump for the photos...

Chris Evans Cult Leader

The news that Chris Evans was going to co-star in the next movie from Ethan Coen (sans Joel Coen) and Ethan's wife Tricia Cooke, who together made the lesbian crime caper Drive Away Dolls (read my review here), is news that's at least a few weeks old. I already knew about it when I wrote my review of DAD and that was just two weeks ago. We also knew that the movie is called Honey Don't! (a killer title) and that it is the middle chapter in what Ethan & Tricia intend to be a trilogy of lesbian caper type movies, maybe possible all starring Margaret Qualley as she is also in the cast list for Honey Don't!. (As is Aubrey Plaza, who's about to have one hell of a year oif that John Waters rumor actually comes to fruition.) And we also knew that (following in the footsteps of his MCU co-star Chris Hemsworth in Bad Times at El Royale) Chris Evans is set to play a cult leader in the movie, which -- well show me a person who says they wouldn't join a cult that had Chris Evans as its leader and I'll show you a whopper-telling liar-face. 

Aaaaanyway why am I posting about this today? Because yesterday two new little pieces of information appeared via a Chris Evans Fan Account on Twitter -- namely that Evans' character is called "Priest Dean" (a typically hilarious Coen-esque name) and that "the character is described as having multiple sexual partners from within the cult." Which is also not super surprising given, you know, the nature of cults! They're usually almost always just an excuse for the leader to get laid (as is so much in this world). That said -- I think we all need to light our prayer candles this evening that given the extraordinary horny queerness of Drive-Away Dolls that Chris Evans having "multiple sexual partners from within the cult" equals out to "Chris Evans doing some gay shit." The people are owed and demand restitution! So here Ethan Coen, a photo for your film's mood-board:

Next Lives

Now here is some news to stuff happily down our needy gobsmacking gullets -- Celine Song, the director of this year's truly lovely Past Lives, has announced her next movie called The Materialists for A24, and it's going to star Chris Evans, Dakota Johnson, and Pedro Pascal! Stars, stars, and more stars! It's actually less exciting that Song is working with celebrities this time -- she got tremendous performances from three actors who unfortunately don't get magazine covers in Past Lives, after all -- the exciting thing is movie-stars Evans and Johnson working with a director as emotionally astute and low-key as Song. Here is the plot description:

"Plot details have been kept under wraps, but we hear it deals with a professional matchmaker who gets involved with a wealthy man but still harbours feelings for the broke actor/waiter she left behind."

I saw somebody on social media (I'm blanking on who it was, sorry) saying that they'd heard that Song was trying to do something different each time around, to try to keep us guessing what kind of director she is, but... uhh I have to say if that's the plot it sounds an awful lot like the love triangle she just made? Which is fine! Make all the love triangle movies you want. Especially with people this pretty. Do I wish that Evans was going to be the one playing the matchmaker with Pascal as his new wealthy beau? What do you think? Alas they gendered the characters in that plot description so our queer hopes were dashed before they were even out the door....

Good Morning, World

Ahhh I like it when the "Good Morning"'s come easy -- Chris Evans is on the cover of GQ UK this month and there's nothing simpler of a task for me than just letting a new photoshoot of Chris Evans do the talking. If a normal picture is worth a thousand words, one of Chris is worth like twice that at least. Hit the jump for the shoot...

Getting Nailed By Michael Fassbender, Etc

Netflix dropped a trailer this morning teasing all of their 2023 slate and the only one we True Cineastes (TM) took notice of was David Fincher's The Killer starring Michael Fassbender -- even though we all just lived through Mank, even! (I kid, I kid, I thought Mank was fine.) But The Killer is more in tune with we tend to love about Fincher -- namely killin' and style and anti-hero shit. I was sold with the return of Michael Fassbender obviously, after an excruciatingly long absence off our screens, but the shot of him in the five seconds of Killer footage weilding a nail-gun in front of bookshelves seems as especially tailored to my interests as that worker's uniform is to Fassy's sleek form. 

Something something bookshelves something something getting nailed by Michael Fassbender #TheKiller pic.twitter.com/rfiRvlt21n

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) January 18, 2023

Anyway there are actually other projects of note that Netflix has coming this year -- I think The Pain Hustlers starring Emily Blunt and Chris Evans and Catherine O'Hara looks good, and while the glimpses we get of A Family Affair in the trailer are really broad and wacky-seeming (that's the one starring Nicole Kidman and Zac Efron), the movie was directed by Richard LaGravenese, who blessed the world with Living Out Loud back in the day. So, you know, let's pay attention.

(See my previous post about this movie here.) Then there is Maestro, Bradley Cooper's biopic of Leonard Bernstein (see all of my previous posts on that one here), which I'm not sold on (given I fucking hated Cooper's Star is Born and all) but which will if nothing else involve Bradley and Matt Bomer kissing and possibly more. A bright side! And speaking of gay...

... there's also Rustin, the long awaited bio-pic of gay black civil rights hero Bayard Rustin starring Colman Domingo. A story extraordinarily overdue in the telling, starring one of our current best and overdue-for-his-moment actors (openly gay to boot) -- this one should be a big deal, hopefully. We love you, Colman! Bring this baby home! (In related news there's also Shirley, a bio-pic of Shirley Chisolm starring Regina King! Score! The final title from Netflix's press release (not glimsped in the trailer) that caught my eye -- "UNTITLED WES ANDERSON / ROALD DAHL FILM" with no date except 2023. Those things fall under my interests though. Anyway here's that trailer, tell me in the comments what you're looking forward to:

Color Me Like One of Your Bisexual Boys

Finally some news on one of my favorite films of the year -- not just one news either, but two! Two news! A two-fer! Amanda Kramer's greaser-fantasia Please Baby Please starring Harry Melling, Andrea Riseborough, and our boy "the irresistible" Karl Glusman...

... has a trailer and a release date! That's the first news. It's two things, but one news. The trailer I'll share down below -- the release date is October 28th. I reviewed this movie when it screened at Fantasia earlier this summer -- read my thoughts here. Obviously I adored it.

How could I not? It's made up of all of my favorite things -- hot boys, homosexual tension, Andrea Riseborough screaming, really tight jeans, Cole Escola singing in a phone booth covered in flowers, cold-blooded murder, bisexual lighting. What else do you even need?

The second bit of news about this movie is if you're in NYC you can see it sooner than the end of October, because it's screening at NewFest! Our big queer movie-thon announced their full line-up today, check it out on their website. Besides this stone-cold immediate classic they're screening My Policeman (the "Harry Styles is a married gay cop" movie) and the solid gay horror Swallowed (my review) and the upcoming animation Wendell & Wild from director Henry Selick and...

... a heap more. Check it out on their site. NewFest runs from October 13th through 25th and if you're in NYC it's a must every damn year. I have never had a bad time at NewFest! I mean I once stood right next to Chris Evans at NewFest, for god's sake. Can't go wrong with that. Here is that Please Baby Please trailer: 

Tell me that don't look like everything?
Absolutely everything, baby.

Which Is Hotter?

I'm sure many of you have already seen the photos of Chris Evans looking pumpkin spice delicious on the red carpet for his Lightyear animated movie last night -- if not the fine fellas at Tom and Lorenzo have a'plenty, (including info on where to buy the shirt if you're fool enough to try and wear the same shirt that Chris Evans wore). Anyway Chris looked, as is his wont, fuckin' fine, full stop. I will admit I had no idea Lightyear was even coming out already but then that's not exactly my beat. But props to Chris' stylist, who is very much bringing it right now -- let us not forget...

... that sleazy trucker-pimp look that he rocked at the MTV Movie Awards just last weekend. As if we could ever! That said Chris wore a very similar look (to his red carpet one) to a Jimmy Kimmel taping the other day, only in blue, and I think I might like the blue look even more? I can't decide. So I am polling y'all to decide for me.

online polls

Chris Evans Five Times

It seems like all we ever get now of Chris Evans are outtakes from old photoshoots but I suppose, you know, there is a pandemic, everything hasn't caught up. The "Chris Evans Photoshoot Industry" is really struggling, you guys. I hope they were able to get some of that sweet government money last year -- nobody deserves it more, and let's schedule a prayer circle to get them back on their feet soon. So these shots today are from a 2019 shoot for Men's Journal (I posted a good one back at the time), see them all after the jump...

Good Morning, World

Back in 2012 Chris Evans was photographed clambering about shirtlessly on some rocks on the set of a photoshoot for what turned out to be Details magazine, and we were very excited, for obvious reasons. Then when the actual final shoot finally dropped a few weeks later it was a little bit of a disappointment, as Chris was wearing clothes in most of the photos -- what the fuck, Details? No wonder that magazine went under. 

Cut to 2021 (aka yesterday) and I was looking for a photo to post alongside the news that Chris is going to star opposite his one-time Marvel co-star Scarlett Johansson in the adventure-based rom-com Ghosted from Rocketman director Dexter Fletcher, which is being billed as a modern spin on Romancing the Stone, when what should I stumble upon but a butt-load of outtakes from said 2012 Details photoshoot -- ones that look like the shoot I was originally promised! I can finally exhale, you guys. Hit the jump for over thirty shots...

Having An Old Friend For Dinner

I'm not getting any of the things I need to get done this afternoon because there is an Apple presentation going on right now and Apple presentations get played at full blast in my IRL work office when they're happening and who the fuck can think with that gibberish app propaganda being screamed in your ears for hours... sorry if I sound tense, but... these things make me fucking tense! Anyway I'm writing this relatively minor post here entirely to distract myself from the noise blasting in the background of my head, so just be forgiving if nothing I say makes sense. I can't think straight during these damn things! 

Anyway! A new movie just got announced that sounds like a movie I will eventually like, once it's a movie and not just a list of names and ideas rambled about on Deadline. It's called The Menu and it's about a world-class chef (played by Ralph Fiennes) inviting a young couple (so far only Anya Taylor-Joy has been announced, as half of the couple) (unless she's playing both of the couple, that would be neat) to his private island where he has prepared a lavish feast. Deadline calls the film "a darkly comedic psychological thriller" so if you're thinking to yourself "cannibalism" you're probably not far off, I would guess. Especially with that title -- you can see a poster tagline adding a "You're on..." to the start of it real easy. The film will be directed by Mark Mylod, who's done tons of TV -- Games of Thrones, Succession, Shameless, Entourage -- and a couple of movies, including the Anna Faris vehicle What's Your Number?... which is a good excuse to just post this gif, why the hell not:

ETA oh here's an interesting update slash rumor via Collider: apparently Daniel Radcliffe is also in talks to join the film... and he'll be playing himself, Daniel Radcliffe. I had wondered if this was going to be about an entire crew of people getting invited to Ralph Fiennes gourmet island, and not just a single couple -- that would make more sense, be more in line with what we expect from these sorts of stories. Which is to say it would give the movie more characters to off. If they have Lord Voldemort eat Harry Potter I swear it now this movie should win Best Picture, sight unseen.

Quote of the Day

"There's only one bottom."

-- That would be Sebastian Stan talking to EW about MCU co-star Tom Holland's spot among the Marvel stars -- jokingly, mind you, because Holland once made a crack about Seb's Falcon and the Winter Soldier co-star Anthony Mackie's lack of a standalone film. But I refuse to believe that Stan didn't know what he was really saying here, and bless him for it. I'll feed off this quote for years.

The teasing rivalries among the Marvel Men are always good for a pop of sexual tension -- never forget this moment, after all:

Okay maybe there wasn't any teasing rivalry going on, I just wanted to post that gif for the 10,000th time in my life -- sue me. In related news did y'all hear the (foundation-less) rumors that Aaron Taylor-Johnson might be about to get a divorce? First things first there's no evidence that this is true -- it seems to have borne by the fact that the two are selling a house they own. But his wife Sam is mega-rich, and they no doubt owns several homes. Anyway I'll admit his marriage to a woman 25 years older than him who he met as his director when he was around 17-years-old was always a bit discomfiting, but they'd been together for so long and had all those kids together; it's not up to me to judge anybody's relationships. Unless Aaron is looking for someone to have a torrid affair with, in which case I will be gladly judge jury and sex-ecutioner.

The Actor To End All Actors

This post mostly exists as an excuse to share a photo of Ryan Gosling -- and for me to get a chance to google pictures of Ryan Gosling, which also paid off on Twitter a minute ago (see below) -- but this is interesting news on his next project, too! Not his immediate next project which is I think the Wolfman movie he's doing with Invisible Man director Leigh Whannell. And not the next one after that which is the CIA thriller The Grey Man with the Russo Brothers (starring opposite Chris Evans and Ana de Armas and Billy Bob Thornton and Regé-Jean Page and Alfre freakin' Woodward). But the next next next one, which is called The Actor, descibed thus:

"Oscar-nominee Gosling will play actor Paul Cole who becomes stranded in 1950s Ohio after a brutal attack. Suffering from severe memory loss, he struggles to find his way back to his life in New York and reclaim what he has lost."

Now on to why I actually care: The Actor is being directed by Duke Johnson, the dude who brought us the brilliant stop-motion animation of Anomolisa alongside Charlie Kaufman. Annnnd speaking of the great and powerful Kaufman, he's just come onboard the film as an Executive Producer. Get some sweet sweet cashola, Charlie, so you can deliver unto us another directorial masterpiece this decade. 

Ryan Gosling photographed by Tony Duran in 2001 pic.twitter.com/u1Ta88iFgm

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) April 14, 2021

Good Morning, World

It's just 26 days until Election Day and I hope and pray that every single one of you people reading these words right now are planning on voting -- not just voting but voting for Joe Biden specifically! I will specify! Because the other dude is gonna kill us all, man, and for all its ups and downs I like fucking living. I like eating lasagna and I like watching movies and going for walks in the park, I like talking or not talking, and I like seeing Mark Ruffalo naked. And to that latter piece of the puzzle that is me Ruffalo and a bunch of his celeb buddies made a video about voting! Specifically about the "naked ballots" that are poised to be a thing this year in a bunch of states thanks to Republicans being shitty anti-voting lunatics. Here, watch, learn, laugh, love:

As a side-note celebrities getting naked for the election this year (see also Harry Shum Jr, and then see also Diplo, and of course there was the way Chris Evans rescued his dick leak...) So anyway make sure you return both those envelopes if you're in one of these states, folks. Written details here. Make sure to dot your I's and cross your balls because this goddamned election is too important... well the last one was too important too but that one got fucked up -- let's get it right this time! And as your reward extra "Naked" Ruffalo, after the jump...

Today's Fanboy Delusion

 Today I'd rather be...

... flipping for Chris Evans. (via)

What's New NewFest

During my day off yesterday NewFest 2020 went and dropped their full line-up for this year's mostly virtual fest, so today I play catch up! If you've heard all of this already, well you can go to hell. This is for the rest of us. (Not really, I love you!) (Unless you want to go to hell, in which case have at it. I prefer a cooler climate personally.) Anyway NewFest runs this year from October 16th through 27th and we already knew the big Opening Night film was Francis Lee's Ammonite -- see that post here -- so we'll focus in on some smaller but no less exciting stuff! But first, their trailer:

As you see there... hella gay. Right? So gay! I mean I know that's the idea but why they gotta rub all that gay in our faces? I mean when they could be rubbing the gay in our other places, obviously. Don't give my face all the attention, NewFest! That reminds me -- one year ago at NewFest I turned around to talk to my boyfriend at an after-party for one of their screenings and my boyfriend had literally been replaced by Chris Evans. No seriously -- that happened. If only I'd known then what I knew now! By which I mean Chris Evans definitively has a penis and I was about to be locked inside my apartment for eight months. 

Sorry I am really getting off track here. NewFest! We love NewFest! You can see their entire line-up on their website, I'm not gonna go through the whole thing because per usual they have an extensive line-up covering all the queer bases. But the titles that leapt right out at me are Alan Ball's Uncle Frank...

... which I've already posted about previously because it stars Paul Bettany and we love Paul Bettany, especially when he's not under all of that Vision make-up and wearing a mustache. That one is screening at the Queens Drive-in, what a thrill, outdoors and shit. And another one that leapt out at me was...

... Francois Ozon's Summer of 85, aka another one I've posted about before. Several times actually, as I tend to love Ozon films and this one looks like he took a lot of inspiration from Call Me By Your Name. See my previous posts, including its trailer, at this link. Oh and they're also showing Monsoon...

... aka The "Henry Golding plays gay" movie, previously posted about here -- this is from the writer-director of the lovely Lilting with Ben Whishaw. And I've already seen Monsoon and I'll have more to say about that closer to... not right now. Monsoon is getting a release in early November. Of course those are just some big titles -- there are loads more, including some fascinating looking docs (NewFest always has killer docs), one about Keith Haring and one about Truman Capote & Tennessee Williams, among many many others. Again check them at NewFest's website -- tickets are on sale right now!