Good Morning, World

(click to embiggen) Running behind this morning due to subway malfeasance -- thankfully I had this photo of Steve Reeves giving some queer come hither vibes off on tap for just such an occasion! Enjoy! (And if anybody knows what movie this is from sound off in the comments, I have no clue.)

5 Off My Head: Siri Says 1958

My "Siri Says" series always starts and comes and goes and stops in fits and starts, but after last week's enormous 2016-a-thon -- where I named my 25 favorite movies of that absolutely fabulous year in film -- I'm feeling like pushing the rock a little further down the hill, checking off one more year in the history of cinema. So I asked Siri today to give me a number between 1 and 100 and (after several answers that we'd already done) she gave me the number "58." Which means today I'll be talking The Movies of 1958!

I've probably admitted this before in one of my other posts about the end of the 1950s but this period in movies, save a couple of bright spots, isn't especially my bag. It's all Rat Pack and technicolor Movie Musicals and bloated war epics, blah blah blah. Most of the mainstream respectable shit reduces me to groans. (Except Paul Newman, who reduces me to... different groans.) But on the sidelines there's some fun sci-fi / horror happening, and I've been known to enjoy me a sword-and-sandal picture now and again. This year introduced both Steve Reeves as Hercules and Christopher Lee as Dracula! Neither of those make my top five though...

My 5 Favorite Movies of 1958

Vertigo

(dir. Alfred Hitchcock)

-- released on May 28th 1958 --

Invention For Destruction

(dir. Karel Zeman)

-- released on August 1958 --

The 7th Voyage of Sinbad

(dir. Nathan Juran)

-- released on December 23rd 1958 --

Mon Oncle

(dir. Jacques Tati)

-- released on November 3rd 1958 --

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

(dir. Richard Brooks)

-- released on August 29th 1958 --

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Runners-up: The Fly (dir. Kurt Neumann), I Want To Live! (dir. Robert Wise), Touch of Evil (dir. Welles), Bell Book and Candle (dir. Richard Quine), The Blob (dir. Irvin S. Yeaworth Jr.), Hercules (dir. Pietro Francisci), Dracula (dir. Terence Fisher), Elevator to the Gallows (dir. Luois Malle), Terror in a Texas Town (dir.Joseph H. Lewis), The Long Hot Summer (dir. Martin Ritt), A Time To Love and A Time To Die (dir. Douglas Sirk)

Never seen: South Pacific (dir. Joshua Logan), The Hidden Fortress (dir. Kurosawa), The Left Handed Gun (dir. Arthur Penn), Indiscreet (dir. Stanley Donen), The Defiant Ones (dir. Stanley Kramer), Separate Tables (dir. Delbert Mann), Damn Yankees (dir. Abbott / Donen), The Young Lions (dir. Edward Dmytryk), Bonjour Tritesse (dir. Preminger), Lonelyhearts (dir. Donehue), Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (dir. Juran), The Magician (dir. Bergman)

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What are your favorite movies of 1958?

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Jail Bait (1954)

Dr. Gregor: This afternoon we had a long
telephone conversation earlier in the day.

With dialogue like that you know you're in an Ed Wood film and sure enough, this is one! Jail Bait was Wood's second picture after the infamous Glen or Glenda, and right before Bride of the Monster - somebody's who's seen Tim Burton's 1994 bio-pic Ed Wood recently will have to remind me if Jail Bait gets any mention in that movie - I haven't watched Ed Wood in far too long but don't recall Jail Bait being mentioned and the film's Wikipedia summation skips right over it too. So why do I bring up Jail Bait today?

Because Jail Bait was the first movie that future Hercules Steve Reeves ever acted in, and it's Steve Reeves' birthday today, that's why! Reeves would be turning 93 if he was still around. I found an interview with the actor from 1994 (right before Ed Wood came out) and this movie came up; here's what Steve had to say:

"The picture was originally called The Hidden Face. It's about a criminal who goes to a plastic surgeon who changes the criminal’s face to resemble his own. Somewhere in the film there was something about 'jail bait,' so they decided the title Jail Bait was more commercial. It was my first film, and I got my Screen Actors Guild card for it.... Wood was a very cooperative guy who let you do things the way you wanted to, and if they weren't quite right he would direct you. But he wasn't the kind of director who was always on you. The shoot lasted two or three weeks for me, off and on. I played a young detective, and I had a suit on at all times. I even had a tie. Only took my shirt off once. Those were the days, huh?"

"I even had a tie." Oh, Steve. You can watch all of Jail Bait right here if you, you know, feel up to it. It's not even an infamously bad Ed Wood movie like Plan 9 From Outer Space so it takes a real adventurer to brave those wilds but I'm sure I've got a few of those around here. Anyway we were just speaking of Steve Reeves a couple of weeks back...
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... on a big screen today was all the Xmas gift I need pic.twitter.com/SdOZ2dRmxO

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) December 27, 2018

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... when they screened The Giant of Marathon at FSLC for their Jacques Tourneur series, which was a ton of fun. Portions of it were filmed by Mario Bava and they're easy to tell because things go ultra-colorful and hyper-violent all of a sudden. It's a decent sword-n-sandal flick as far as those things go - I'm not the biggest fan of the genre but if you wanna see Steve Reeves in obscenely short skirts wrestling dudes you do what you gotta. (And all of The Giant of Marathon is on Amazon Prime, btw.) But I won't make you go through all that to see some Steve Reeves skin -- all you gotta do is hit the jump for the Total Steve Reeves Birthday Suit Experience...

Good Morning, Hercules

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Steve Reeves, the muscular giant who made Hercules the man more of Hercules the god, was born on this day in 1926, 90 years ago today, in the town of Glasgow, Montana - can you imagine anyplace sounding more rough and tumble than that? Picture it, young farm-hand Steve, building up a sweat plowing the land (not to mention the milkmaid), dreaming of the bright lights and big screens of Hollywood. "One day, Momma! I'm gonna be a star! My name in big lights! Pow, whiz, bang! (kisses bicep)" 

Besides the promise of rich and heady visuals, I think telling the star story of a beefcake pin-up would be interesting to today's film-goer, now that every single actor is expected to have a body carved from marble. Once upon a time somebody like Steve Reeves was a goddamned freak! Anyway someone was nice enough to compile a video of scenes of Steve Reeves laying in bed on YouTube, so watch that to wake yourself up this fine morning:

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Which Is Hotter?

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Steve Reeves as The Thief of Baghdad (left)

or Steve Reeves as Hercules (right)?

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poll by twiigs.com

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Steve Reeves was born 88 years ago today!

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Good Morning, World

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The bronzed god of the sword and sandal flicks Steve Reeves

 was born on this day 87 years ago. Rejoice, for it is holy.

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I Am Link

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--- RoboSwede - We've been threatening to do a proper gratuitous post for the Swedish actor Joel Kinnaman for nearly a year, since last April when he was cast in the Ryan Reynolds movie Safe House which just came out a couple of weeks ago. (Did it flop? I don't think I know anyone who saw it, but then, I wouldn't.) Then he was going to star opposite A Game of Thrones' Kit Harington in a movie about King Arthur and Sir Lancelot, and he drove me to one of the worst puns I've ever made. (At least I knew it was bad at the time, right? Right?) Well now Kinnaman's been offered the lead in the Robocop remake and my prescience about him no longer seems so precious. He is the world's now. 

--- D'oh Face - Behold one of the greatest visual every given to the internet: Rich at fourfour's gif-wall of Oscar losers. I can hardly even take in its scope. It is staggeringly awesome.

--- As usual, reading what my bud Sean has to say on a topic I'm familiar with - in this case, his take on the first season of Downton Abbey - is sheer joy. 

--- Space Jockies - I guess JJ Abrams is shooting Star Trek 2 right now and Slash rounded up some pictures and what-nots from the set including a hysterical in-action shot of Zachary Quinto and Benedict Cumberbatch fighting. I guess Benedict must have been cast in this before I'd watched Sherlock because if I'd have watched Sherlock at that time I would surely have taken note of his casting. Well at least now that I have seen Sherlock I am very enthusastic about this. Which reminds me, I know I tweeted this same sentiment before, but let me just say here that all of you people who encouraged me to watch Sherlock are total jerks, because now I am dying for more, and there is no more yet, so I am just dying. Thanks, jerks! (Seriously though, thanks.)

--- All The Best - Joe Reid's been plugging along with his Low Res Movie Awards all week and it's so stuffed to the gills with epic goodness I can hardly stand it. I can't stand it! That is, in a good way, obviously. Seriously, though. Seriously.

--- Toga Toga - In obvious casting news, Dwayne Johnson is set to play Hercules in a new movie. Let's hope they just go dig up all of Steve Reeves old costumes for him, because otherwise what the hell would be the point?

--- Damned If You Don't - Back when Stacie announced this month's Final Girl Film Club pick I wondered if I'd ever seen Hell Night - well after reading a couple of the posts that popped up yesterday I can safely say nope I have never seen Hell Night. I should have found this out before FGFC actually happened so I could have written something up, but I'm always too dumb to keep up. Always. It's a rule, and stuff!

--- And speaking of Miss Ponder, there's a hefty interview with her to read! She talks good! Here is part one and here is part two.

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I've Been Looking For Some Good Help

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Do you think Steve Reeves takes dictation?
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Happy Birthday, Hercules

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Today would have been Steve Reeves' 83rd birthday if he hadn't passed back in 2000. Do yourself a favor and watch one of his Hercules movies some time soon. Beefcake-y goodness for the whole family to enjoy! And there are scores more pics of Mr. Reeves here if you're interested...

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