Niels Schneider Twelve Times

On Friday I shared some new Louis Garrel photos with you -- lucky you -- and said that I'd stumbled upon a photographer's Instagram account that had hot shoots of several of our favorite Frenchies and more would be coming shortly... well welcome to shortly. I almost shared these photos of Niels Schneider because I think these are an even hotter set of photos --- indeed I've actually shared a few of these before, back in December of last year! But Niels is timeless hotness so there is no incorrect time to share. Every day is the right day! Hit the jump for the rest...

 

I Quit Smoking 17 Years Ago Today

I keep doing these posts every May 5th -- marking the anniversary of when I quit smoking cigarettes back in 2008 with a constantly ballooning collection of photos and gifs of actors and the like smoking their sexy asses off -- even though, well, it's been 17 years yo! What else do I have to say about any of this? I haven't missed a cigarette since then -- that Chantix shit I took really did its job and then some. But then the fact hasn't changed that whenever I see an image like this...

... I swoon. It just looks cool. I can't help the rules. I'm not saying it's good -- people love violent action movies because people look cool killing people too. It just is what it is and I'm not out to rewire the human brain. I'm just here to lay the horn on the pleasure receptors as we all sink into the abyss. So come with me into this sexy smoky netherworld of seventeen smoke-free years after the jump...

Niels Schneider Seven Times

Since he's a French actor being photographed for a French magazine I couldn't tell you what Niel Schneider is promoting right now. But if it's just the fact that he is one of the hottest ones doing it right now then he's got my vote! My hope is that the James Bond franchise decides to go hella homoerotic next and they get Niels to play the villain / Bond Boy -- that's my hope. That's the perk up the franchise needs. But Hollywood very rarely listens to me -- probably because my answer to everything is "Make it gayer!" But one day! One day we will triumph. Anyway -- it's Niels! Hit the jump for more Niels...

Niels Schneider Eight Times

I am officially convinced as of today that somebody who works at Behind the Blinds magazine reads MNPP because if this photoshoot of French beauty Niels Schneider (via) isn't directly Me Bait then I don't know what. I don't know what! Well, theyb got me. The pretty French boy shirtless and smoking got me. And speaking of -- everybody congratulate Niels because he now officially has his own tag here on the site. Shocked it took me this long seeing as how he was stunning me fifteen years ago in Xavier Dolan's first movies, but better now than never. Anyway the rest of this shoot -- which I will warn you up front isn't as much of a thrill as these two photos seen here up top; too many baggy clothes dammit! -- is after the jump, so jump on 'em...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Heartbeats (2010)

Nicolas: Eating your cherry, Terry?

Francis: Cherries are too sweet.

Marie: Fudge is 17 times sweeter than cherries.

A happy 35 to the gorgeous and talented French actor Niels Schneider today, who first got scooped up by Xavier Dolan via this and his earlier film I Killed My Mother, and who has since gone on a quite fine career. We last saw him at NYFF in 2019's Sibyl opposite the queen Virginie Efira (the first place she caught our eye before blowing our eyes out of our heads in Paul Verhoeven's Benedetta) -- if y'all haven't seen Sibyl yet y'all need to. (I reviewed it right here.) Anyway as for Niels he's only gotten more impossibly handsome with time, check all of our posts on him at this link -- I think he's in this thing for the long haul. (Something something, get in this thing for the long haul, something.) And sidenote I very much need to rewatch Heartbeats! It's been a decade at least. I should totally have myself a little Dolan-a-thon, shouldn't I...

Good Afternoon, Gratuitous Niels Schneider

A couple of weeks ago I gave y'all a heads-up that the line-up for my beloved "Rendezvous with French Cinema" series here in NYC, which screens at Film at Lincoln Center every spring, had been announced -- from March 4th through 14th, virtually this year again, due to you-know-what. I did this by highlighting some of my fave beautiful French actors in the line-up, because I am me, and I do things my way. A few days after that I shared the trailer, along with word that tickets were on sale -- well the big show begins tomorrow! And so I'm back on my damn nonsense.

This movie is a real tease pic.twitter.com/v5xiNMp9GR

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) February 27, 2021

I've been lucky enough to see a few of the movies and I'll be tossing up thoughts on them over the next few days -- one of them was Emmanuel Mouret's film Love Affair(s), starring Niels here, and I recommend it if you at all like Very French Movies... and why else would you be reading any of this? It's all beautiful people in beautiful flats and country-homes talking about their intersecting love lives endlessly with artfully-messy bookshelves piled behind them -- living the dream, I tell ya. Anyway I meant to grab a single photo of Niels for this post but ended up being me and gathering like 40 instead, so y'all go buy some tickets (the series can be viewed anywhere in the US this year!) and I'll share all my Niels photos after the jump...

And Now We Go France-ward

Every year here in New York the finest sign that Spring is imminent for me has been the finding of myself awash in delicious French Movies, thanks to FLC's annual "Rendez-vous with French Cinema" series. But this year, thanks to our ongoing situation, cough cough, that delight goes national -- the series, running March 4th through 14th, is virtual and anybody from the lobster-pots of Maine to the scorpion-stingers of SoCal and everywhere in between, purple mountains majesty, can participate. 

I ran through some highlights from the 2021 edition last week, zooming in on two big handfuls of crush-worthy actors that're showing up in this year's batch of movies, in case you missed that, but today comes two new important news items -- one, tickets are now on sale! Buy them right here! And two, FLC has dropped us a trailer to get us in the mood. Ooh la la, oui oui et cetera. (I really should learn French.)

French Boys & The Movies That Love Them

The line-up for one of my favorite yearly fests has arrived today -- the "Rendez-Vous With French Cinema" festival at Film at Lincoln Center arrives for ten straight days of Gallic bliss in March, the 4th through the 14th, and it's an astonishingly sexy line-up of 18 movies this year (not that we'd expect any less from the French), starting from the top down with the legendary sexpot Emmanuelle Béart as the fest's Guest of Honor. For one they'll be screening Francois Ozon's sweaty and super-gay Summer of 85 (which I reviewed for NewFest last fall right here), which just got nominated for a heap of César awards (aka France's Oscars). But more than ever I felt like looking through this year's line-up there's an absolutely stunning French actor in every single one, so let's pick our picks, that way!

Vincent Lacoste in Faithful -- Lacoste first popped onto our radar with Christophe Honore's heartbreaking 2018 romance Sorry Angel, which has already become one of our all-time favorite gay films at this point. And Faithful has him (and his mustache!) starring opposite another fave, Phantom Thread star Vicky Krieps! He plays an imprisoned Communist revolutionary in the 1950s; she's his wife who refuses to abandon him. 

Rabah Naït Oufella in Ibrahim -- Oufella caught our eye thanks to two totally terrific movies, Bertrand Bonello's "teens take over a shopping mall" movie Nocturama and the cannibal flick Raw -- see a nice little gallery of him right here. In Ibrahim he plays the bad-influence best-friend to the titular character (played by Abdel Bendaher, above right), a teenager trying to do good; Rabah drags him into an ill-planned robbery attempt. It played Cannes last year.

Arnaud Valois in Lifelines and Spring Blossom -- The BPM beauty has a pair of features at the fest this year; his role in Lifelines;(which is about a woman obsessed with a found diary) is described as "an intriguing supporting role" but Blossom sounds Valois-centric, with him romancing actress / director Suzanne Lindon.

Niels Schneider in Love Affair -- Niels is best known for being the doe-eyed love-interest in a couple of Xavier Dolan movies back in the day, but he's worked plenty since then -- he was just in the ace Sibyl last year. And he's nominated for Best Actor at the Césars for this movie here -- it's also nominated for Best Film, Best Director, and all the other acting categories, so I think it's one to pay attention to! It's about cousin lovers!

Pierre Niney in Lovers -- The endearingly gawky Niney was delivered unto these shores via Ozon's 2016 film Frantz and immediately became a fave -- this one's a noir-tinged love triangle also starring the terrific Stacy Martin (from Nymphomaniac and Vox Lux) and...

... our boy Benoît  Magimel from The Piano Teacher! Yes this one's a two-fer -- two hot French actors for the price of one. Plus it's a thriller -- obviously this one is high on my Must Watch Immediately list. Although I will surely be let down and the two guys will fight over the girl with nary a whiff of sexual tension between the two of them, sigh. Tis my cruel fate.

Grégoire Ludig in Mandibles -- Previously seen by me rocking one hell of a stache in Quentin Dupieux's super fun 2018 flick Keep an Eye Out! (which I reviewed out of this exact same fest in 2019 right here) this movie has Ludig re-teaming with confirmed nutter Dupieux for a movie about two doofus low-lifes who find a scooter-sized housefly in the trunk of their stolen car, and train it to do crime. I don't think I've disliked a Dupieux flick yet? I am so on his wacky wavelength and this one is apparently one of his best.

Vincent Dedienne in Margaux Hartmann -- I actually don't think I know Dedienne from anything previous (nothing jumps off his IMDb page) but a quick google set me to attention; this is the flick that the fest's Guest of Honor Emmanuelle Béart stars in, and has her playing an older woman who's grieving her dead husband who goes back to school and makes new friends, with sexy results. I feel like you could add "with sexy results" to the description of any French film -- "Two low-lifes discover a gigantic housefly... with sexy results." Okay maybe not every French film. Anyway Dedienne is hella cute right?

Jérémie Renier in Slalom -- I have already posted about this movie! The shots of our beloved Renier doing his thing in this film (and by "his thing" I mean "getting naked" of course) made their way onto the internet back in October of last year, and obviously, just as we would with Jérémie, we jumped right on it. This movie has the legendary Belgian slash blond sexpot playing the creepy ski coach to a teen girl... and yes, "with sexy results" applies, although obviously that comes with several dozen asterisks given the subject matter.

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Phew! What a bunch, huh? "Rendez-Vous with French Cinema" runs on FLC's virtual platform from March 4th through 14th; tickets go on sale on February 19th (or earlier on Feb. 12th for FLC Members). You should have little fear that you won't hear more from me on this series, as I love covering it every year, so stay tuned. I'll throw their whole press release, with word on every single one of the films screening, right here after the jump...

Niels Schneider Four Times

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Since co-starring in a couple of Xavier Dolan movies a decade ago -- that'd be I Killed My Mother and Heartbeats, specifically -- French beauty Niels Schneider has been making quite a name for himself (he won a Cesar in 2016) although I've done a lousy job keeping up. But I was reminded I should be keeping up when he popped up in yesterday's NYFF press screening of Sibyl, Justine Triet's flush new drama starring Virginie Efira as a psychiatrist turned writer in the middle of a breakdown who worms her way into one of her patient's lives. Schneider plays an ex of Efira's and man has he aged well. More to come on that film soon! (pics via)