Matthew Daddario Three Times

Even though I know our boy Matthew Daddario here looks like this at this link on the television program Women Who Kill -- And that his character's name is Scooter! And he gets naked! -- I still haven't gotten around to watching that show. Whatcha gonna ddo, there's only so much time in the dday... 

I also haven't started watching the show starring Mike Vogel's Ass that premiered this weekend, that's how behind (heh) I am. instead of all that I have, on the other hand, begun watching the show starring Matthew's sister, which is not usually the way these things go but life is weird and full of m-f-ing curveballs. Wisdom, by me. (pics via, thx Mac)

Jonathan Tucker Five Times

Jonathan Tucker said, "You know what? I am not done being sexy." And so he teamed back up with photographer Tony Duran for another another magazine shoot. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if this set (for something called Harbor magazine) were shot at the same time as the last set (for something called Vingt magazine) since they seem to share an aesthetic, but then most of Duran's work looks like this. And thank goodness for that. The best part though...

... is if you click over to Tucker's Instagram post that first shared these photos and then take a look at the comments, which are full of his many also-hot male co-stars of yore leaving hilariously thirsty comments. Jonathan Tucker is an inspiration to us all, truly. Hit the jump for the rest of the shoot...

Noah Mills Five Times

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Noah Mills is more of a model than he is an actor but I guess he's been attempting the transition for a bit, having first shown up in the second Sex and the City movie (exactly where you'd expect a model turned actor) and then two of those procedural shows that love model-turned-actors, the military series The Brave opposite our beloved Mike Vogel...

... and more recently the FBI series The Enemy Within. Anyway he is -- shockingly for a model -- drop dead fucking stunning, so I'm gonna go ahead and share these photos of him (via) having never seen him act because wtf else have we got going on. If anybody has anything to add about him I'd love to hear it in the comments. Hit the jump for the remainder of the photos...

Tell Me More About Mike Vogel's Sex Life

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I know that he works, but when Mike Vogel showed up in the otherwise execrable Fantasy Island horror movie last month -- and in wet fatigues wrestling around Austin Stowell, no less -- all I could wonder was where has my beloved Mike Vogel gone? I didn't even try to get into that show The Brave that he was on -- it was immediate that wasn't the one for me. But today comes word on one that might be for me? 

He's going to co-star in a new Netflix series called Sex/Life and yes, I am already excited. It's an adaptation of BB Easton's memoir called 44 Chapters About 4 Men, and will have Vogel playing actress Sarah Shahi's husband, as they both go on their own oh god am I really going to use this phrase yes it looks like I am going to use this phrase Sexual Journeys.

"Shahi’s Billie Connelly is a suburban mother of two who goes in search of that sexy, single girl in the city she used to be ten years ago. She takes a fantasy-charged trip down memory lane that sets her very married present on a collision course with her wild-child past. Vogel’s Cooper Connelly is a family man – the All-American guy with a heart of gold and a skyrocketing career who’s given Billie the life she’s always dreamed of. But when Billie flirts with her wild, sex-filled past, he goes on his own journey to explore himself, his marriage and his fantasies. And for the first time in his life, he has more questions than answers."

This is coming from some folks who made the show UnREAL, which seems about right -- that gives me hope it'll be fun like that show was, and this being Netflix gives me hope it'll also be hella horny. I don't dare get too far ahead of myself in hoping that Mike Vogel's character's "questions" and "fantasies' involve "gay stuff"... but don't I? Don't I dare dream that? I think I dare!

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The Disappearance of Mike Vogel

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That title speaks not of Mike Vogel's professional career, which is doing just fine - most actors would kill to be starring on a brand new series on NBC that premieres in four days. I speak of his literal blink-and-you'll-miss-him moment in Battle of the Sexes, which I rambled a bit about in my review of the film yesterday. Honestly it strikes me that I should've saved it for a separate post, because I like and long for Mike Vogel in my life, so that's what I am doing now. 

I just want you guys to keep your eyes peeled for him, because you will miss him if you don't. Mike shows up when Billie Jean (Emma Stone) and her new girl "friend" Marilyn (Andrea Riseborough) go out dancing for the first time. A dude comes up and tells BJK he's a fan of hers and asks her to dance - the entire thing is shot watching the two actresses; the actor is incidental to what's happening between them. So when his face is visible for the briefest moment I was surprised to see it was Mike Vogel.

And I was even more surprised when I went looking on the movie's IMDB page and he's not listed. The only hint I have that it was indeed him is a mention of the credit on Mike's "Actor Bio" on the website for his new show The Brave, which mentions he's in the film. I should have stayed and stared at the film's credits to look for Mike - one of you guys do that for me when you see the movie this weekend, please! 

Anyway this isn't that weird - actors get cut out of films all the time. Still the flash we do get of Mike is promising - he's got a 70s mustache, and as with most everything Mike Vogel has worn, he wears it really fucking well. I want to get a screen-grab of it as soon as possible since it will be our only record.

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It'll Grand Slam Your Heart

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You know what the world needs right now? If you said "love sweet love" you're a goddamn hippie, but you're not too far out of bounds. The word "crowd-pleaser" has been lobbed at Battle of the Sexes already and lots more than once, and it's a solid call - like the best Sports Movies this one, which tells the story of tennis legend Billie Jean King's infamous 1972 match with the washed-up Bobby Riggs, is going to make the audience you're sitting with clap and cheer once that final reel rolls along.

But the movie's both better, and a little worse, than just that. On the one hand it's a really lovely love story, and my favorite scenes by far are the ones where Billie Jean (Emma Stone, truly firing on all cylinders) gets to know the hairdresser, flung out of space, who's awakened all kinds of feelings she hadn't been expecting (played a dreamy soft Andrea Riseborough, who once again proves that she will always be the best thing in any given movie while simultaneously elevating everything around her). Their chemistry is so palpable that the film introduced a mustachioed Mike Vogel to come between them and I actually really wanted him outta there! (And since it's a literally blink and you'll miss him cameo the movie clearly agreed - Vogel 's not even credited! The only clue I have that it was him is this link.)

That said with pleasing the crowds you've sometimes got to sand the edges for mass consumption (just maybe don't ask Darren Aronofsky about that specific topic this week) and so Steve Carell hamming it up tends to drag on a few seconds too long every time (although given who the real-life Bobby Riggs really was perhaps exhaustion with his antics was the only way to really play those scenes). And there are probably maybe too many characters rattling around in this thing, but who would I give up? Certainly not Sarah Silverman's cigarette-snapping Phyllis-Diller-ian hairdo on legs. And certainly not Elisabeth Shue radiating rich Californian sunshine in every frame.

And certainly not Lewis Pullman, who plays Carell's sweetly disappointed son Larry in a series of lovingly photographed yet always surprising, time after time, demonstrations of how to correctly fill out this strange era's strange snug fashions, as demonstrated perfectly above in them tennis shorts (via).

But oh wait, I do know who I could've done without. Because with sanded edges comes a spoon-fed "Magical Homo" character like the one Alan Cumming plays. And yes I know that tennis dress designer Ted Tinling was a real dude and was very much involved in the events, probably exactly as depicted  - he was a close friend of BJK's and she's happy with the movie so if it rings true to her who am I to complain? It's just his final scene in the film, delivering a message of long-distance hope for the future, read on-screen to my eyes and ears, verisimilitude be damned, as forced and false - the sort of thing students of cinema future will look back upon with a cringe; an It Gets Better era Stepin Fetchit. 

So the movie gets the love, the sweet love, right, but it could probably have used a little more of the hard fight ahead burned into its DNA - it ends bittersweet but I really needed just a tad bit more taste of that bitter on my tongue as I walked out the door. It was a long road ahead for Billie Jean, and as she tread first so tread we all still today.

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AUSTIN STOWELL & ELISABETH SHUE & ANDREA RISEBOROUGH FOR THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES Q&A -- my teenage ADVENTURE IN BABYSITTING loving self was very very excited to see Elisabeth Shue!!! #battleofthesexes #austinstowell #elisabethshue #andreariseborough #billiejeanking #film

A post shared by Jason Adams (@jasonaadams) on Sep 18, 2017 at 8:04pm PDT

5 Off My Head: Siri Says 2003

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After a week off due to stomach oogies we're back with another round of our "Siri Says" series, in which I ask my phone to pick a number between 1 and 100 and then I choose my favorite five or so movies from the corresponding year. This time around the lady went low and gave me the number 3, and so The Movies of 2003 are where we're at. This works out well because it's a couple of years before we started this here blog so we didn't make a public list but we were still fully immersed in movie-going all the same. So I have real opinions! Imagine that! 

There are a great batch of horror films from this year (including one of my favorites of all-time) and if I'd been in a different mood I could've made just a list of those, but I mixed it up a bit. And this is the year that contains the single Coen Brothers movie I have never seen! From what I've heard it wouldn't make the list if I had seen it (and I've put it off for just that reason) but still.

My 5 Favorite Movies of 2003

Lost In Translation 

(dir. Sofia Coppola)

-- released on October 3rd, 2003 --

Kill Bill: Vol. 1

(dir. Quentin Tarantino)

-- released on October 10th, 2003 -- 

Final Destination 2

(dir. David R. Ellis)

-- released on January 31st, 2003 -- 

Oldboy

(dir. Park Chan-wook)

-- released on November 21st, 2003 -- 

Monster

(dir. Patty Jenkins)

-- released on December 24th, 2003 -- 

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Runners-up: Finding Nemo (dir. Stanton), X2: X-Men United (dir. Singer), Thirteen (dir. Hardwicke), All the Real Girls (dir. David Gordon Green), The Triplets of Belleville (dir. Sylvain Chomet), A Mighty Wind (dir. Guest), Down With Love (dir. Peyton Reed)...

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Still can't get over the fact that Hillary lost
and now we'll never get to see Mark Ruffalo naked pic.twitter.com/04DrubUsZP

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) January 10, 2017

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... In the Cut (dir. Campion), Cabin Fever (dir. Roth), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (dir. Nispel), Peter Pan (dir. Hogan), The Dreamers (dir. Bertolucci), Gozu (dir. Miike), High Tension (dir. Aja), Memories of Murder (dir. Bong Joon-ho), Shattered Glass (dir. Billy Ray), A Tale of Two Sisters (dir. Kim Jee-woon), 

Never Seen: Elephant (dir. Gus Van Sant)

Evil (dir.  Mikael Håfström)

House of 1000 Corpses (dir. Rob Zombie)

Intolerable Cruelty (dir. Coens)

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What are your favorite movies of 2003?

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Good Morning, World

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Alexander Koch (who is turning  all of 29 years old today) looks exactly like every single guy I had a crush on in college - they were all soccer players and they all had big dark clouds of wavy hair and they all glared at me like I was a green fog of poison gas barreling towards them. Sigh. Good times.

Anyway even if Mr. Koch (pronounced "cock" according to me) was kind of terrible on Under the Dome (granted a truly terrible show all around, it was) I have still managed to post several times about him, so clearly he has his worth. (Lips. It's the lips.) He recently showed for a couple of scenes in the great great great movie Always Shine opposite the great great great Mackenzie Davis and Caitlin FitzGerald (here's my review) and I didn't even recognize him at first; maybe because he actually held his own.

So somebody give the dude some work. We're here for it. We're willing to continue staring at him (Lips. The lips.) and give him the chance to prove his worth. And until then we'll just spend a lot of time with this old big gratuitous post of his.
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Tag Mike Vogel

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You're it. (via)

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5 Off My Head - Stephen King's Horror Hunks

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A happy 68th birthday to the master of modern horror Stephen King today! He's churned out more best-sellers than you could fit in the trunk of a thousand demon-possessed Plymouth Furys ever since Carrie dropped way back in 1973, putting more nightmares into the collective human subconscious than probably anybody ever, honestly. Can you imagine the last four decades without his beautiful monsters & mad-women? A ghastly thought, that.

So here in celebration of his gifts, a list! 

Off the top of my head here are 

5 of the hottest guys in Stephen King movies.

Thomas Jane in The Mist

Jeff Fahey in The Lawnmower Man

John Travolta in Carrie

David Strathairne in Dolores Claiborne

Dale Midkiff in Pet Sematary

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Hot dudes aren't really what one goes to Stephen King movies for, but they're there if you know where to look. (If I'd added TV adaptations to my choices this list probably would've ended up being 100% "Pictures of Mike Vogel in Under the Dome.")

 So who would make your list?

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I Am Link

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--- Original Horror Hotel - A bunch of snappy little freaky teasers for the new American Horror Story season have been dropped, as they do every time around, and they made me realize that somebody needs to make sure that Ryan Murphy has seen the greatest "shared living space" horror film of all time, Crawlspace with Klaus Kinski, and that this Hotel of his honors that film as much as possible. Really, that film's bright and shining superstar Tané should replace Lady Gaga immediately, if you ask me. She could sing her signature tune "Just Tonight" and the world would know! The world would understand! At last!

--- Speaking AHS though, EW gets the word from a few members of the cast on what they're selling as "The Most Disturbing Scene This Show's Ever Done!" which yes they do every year, but this one does sound pretty out there, what with the talk of a "dildo demon" being tossed around. Sounds to me like Max Greenfield might be losing his on-screen butt virginity to it. Okay! I'll watch that.

--- Done By Dome - So did any of you stick with Under the Dome through this whole year? I gave up looong ago, which I admitted the last time I ogled Mike Vogel's nips here, which by the way are free, run free Mike Vogel's nips, the show has finally been canceled, after somehow making it to three inexplicable seasons; I guess nobody was even paying attention at CBS to what they're airing in the summertime. Anyway hooray Mike Vogel can go make movies where he can be naked now. I will say thank you to the show for putting Mike in all of those snug blue jeans, though.

--- Wonder Boot - I need to keep reminding myself that Patty Jenkins is directing Wonder Woman, because it's the only thing I got that's keeping any interest alive - I know it's unfair to judge Gal Gadot before seeing her in anything but... I can't help it. Anyway rumor is they're shooting the thing in Southern Italy now, so I would like to come and work on the set, please.

--- Almost Home - I don't think I realized that Ramin Bahrani's 99 Homes was out in just three weeks or so -- this is exciting! We've been waiting for this for awhile. I also feel ashamed that I keep forgetting it co-stars my beloved Laura Dern -- she's my favorite actor of the bunch, but I keep getting distracted by how much they're playing up Andrew Garfield's biceps in the press materials. Speaking of The Playlist has some clips and new pictures, several of which yes include Andrew Garfield's biceps (not to mention prominent Michael Shannon bulge, in one) because of course they do.

--- Bluer Velvet - There's a documentary about the making of David Lynch's Blue Velvet coming out in October and you can watch the trailer for it and read a little bit about what it's got to offer over here. (Thanks Mac) There's can never be enough Blue Velvet in the world. Here's to your fuck!

--- Who's There - I wasn't going to bother watching the trailer for Eli Roth's Knock Knock because 1) I'll clearly see the movie because I see everything Eli Roth bothers making (up to and including spectacles of himself shirtless and muddy) and 2) this happened and that annoys me to no end, but I blundered through somehow and it actually looks like a pretty fun movie! It's somehow still kind of impossible, even at his advanced age, to buy Keanu Reeves as a husband and father, but if the movie keeps itself simple and straightforward and has fun with its premise, it could be a nice little genre exercise.

--- And Finally a new trailer for MacBeth has dropped (here's a link to the first trailer and my methodical breakdown thereof) and it's stuffed to the gills with Fassy all wild-eyed and Marion all wild-eyed and color and fabric and color and slow-motion swordplay (unfortunately not the swordplay we hope for when we think of Michael Fassbender though) -- watch it and wonder! God I can't wait to see this damn thing.
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Good Morning, World

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I admitted exactly one month ago today (this is coincidental) that I'd given up on Under the Dome a couple of seasons ago but I also said I'd keep my eyes to the ground for more Mike Vogel gratuity... well here we are. I really don't have anything more to say than that. I guess if any of you are still watching the show... has anything happened? Anyway hit the jump and I'll share a few more...

Good Morning, World

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I gave up on Under the Dome halfway through its second season but I was still surprised when I recently saw that a third season had apparently begun airing -- I had no idea it was back! Any of y'all watching it? It's nice to see Mike Vogel (whose birthday is today - happy birthday, Mike! May you find a better job soon!) is still looking lovely, at least.

Okay, on to other matters - I seriously doubt I will have any time to post today after this, it's gonna be a crazy busy day with real-world stuff. And the same probably goes for Monday. Things will have settled down some by Tuesday, I hope. Sorry for the disruption. Soon! Just curl up in Mike Vogel's bellybutton til I'm back.

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Alexander Koch Three Times

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I had to stop watching Under the Dome because it was making me crazy, literally crazy, every time I watched it, it is so so so dumb. I actually got so angry in the middle of an episode that I figured out a way to violently remove a subscription from my DVR, which is not an easy task. But I did it! Violently! And if you have any idea how much I love Mike Vogel, and love watching Mike Vogel run around in blue jeans, then you know what a sacrifice this was, and how hard it was for me to do it. But enough was enough. Fucking space eggs and butterflies and bullshit.

Anyway Alexander Koch (previously gratuitized here) is a pretty pretty block of wood - you know who he reminds me of? Pier Paolo Pasolini's under-age boyfriend Ninetto Davoli (see more of him here).

Ninetto was also kind of a pretty block of wood, honestly. I'm seeing Abel Ferrara's Pasolini bio-pic next week and I wonder if the dude they did cast (Riccardo Scamarcio) as Ninetto will be any better. Don't emote too realistically, Riccardo!

Good Morning, World

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I don't think I ever even finished the first season of Under the Dome - save a couple of elements (Mike Vogel, Mike Vogel in blue jeans, Mike Vogel in blue jeans crouching or walking away) it just wasn't doing much for me. I turned in to the new season though, really just because I'd missed seeing Mike Vogel crouching in blue jeans, and... well I can't really say it's better per se, but there was some hilarious axe-murdering and people being crushed by cars, and they've still got Mike in his blue jeans, so you know, I'll watch now and then probably. Don't judge me. Okay hit the jump for a few more shots of shirtless Mike from last night's episode... he's so golden I want to do an old-timey prospector's dance every time I see him...