Good Morning, World

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I had never heard of a horror film from this year called The Cleansing Hour -- which is about online possession hoax-sters getting their comeuppance via a real demon-type -- until photos of Ryan Guzman here in this scene from said film started making the thirsty rounds (via, thx Mac). But now that I looked the movie up to make these gifs I can tell you that this scene is actually so much weirder than you can tell here, and I'm probably going to have to find time to actually watch this movie properly now. So weird, you guys. But until then let's just make due, good due, and climb right under the covers with Ryan after the jump...

Good Morning, World

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I have to admit I'm morbidly curious about what a "Ryan Murphy Show" tackling the Cop TV Template would look like, but I haven't gotten around to watching 9-1-1 yet - not surprisingly though part of a "Ryan Murphy Show tackling the Cop TV Template" looks like Ryan Guzman's morning shirtless sweatpants routine. I said I was curious! This is why! I hope that Ryan Murphy can get Ryan Guzman to show up on AHS next season - that's where the real perversions begin. Hooray for perversions! On that note good morning (I guess it's gonna be one of those days) and hit the jump for the rest...

Good Morning, Guzman

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Hello! I know I have been a neglectful parent this week so I'm just letting you all know right up front today that I;'m here all day long today, and I'll try to be a good productive blogger, make up for lost time. Like this -- let's wish pretty little boy-next-door Ryan Guzman a happy 31st birthday today with a dozen plus gifs of him in his underwear on that lasted-one-season-long Piper Perabo show called Notorious. I guess Ryan's on Ryan Murphy 9-1-1 show now? Why am I not surprised that Ryan Murphy got ahold of him? I'd love him to show up on AHS sometime! Making out with Finn Wittrock, preferably. Anyway hit the jump for the rest of these and let's get this day rolling the right way...

I Am Link

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--- Red Beard - It's a great week for ginger beard lovers (every week is a good week for ginger beard lovers because ginger beards are worth loving) because not only did (Game of Thrones spoiler!) Tormund make it out of the "Battle of the Bastards" in mostly one piece, but the furry beauty who plays him, Kristofer Hivju, has just been cast in the Justice League movie! I mean I kind of don't give a shit about the Justice League movie after the Batman v Superman disaster, but the fact that Kristofer has been cast as a F.O.A. (Friend of Aquaman) gives me hope him and his beard will be wet and sexy a bunch. In related news here's a terrific interview with Hivju on the subject of Thrones and his eye-fluttering one-sided romance with Brienne.

--- Lynch Mobbed - Did you guys hear about David Lynch's music festival? It's not just music, although the presence of St Vincent alone is manna enough, but all kinds of entertainment - I mean, Laura Dern will be giving a talk! Where else in the world is Laura Dern giving a talk a featured event? Besides my living-room every night where I pretend the pillow on my couch is Laura Dern aka my bestie forever, that is. 
 

--- Mannequin Romance - While I'm incredibly frustrated with myself that I didn't personally participate in this week's edition of "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" over at The Film Experience, which tackled Rainer Werner Fassbinder's magnificent 1972 film The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant (one of my favorite films of all time yo) I am pretty pleased with the gift of several pieces documenting the beauty of the film, so a big bewigged thanks to Nathaniel & Co. for hitting up the movie.

--- Goddamn Grace - We knew back in May that Sarah Polley was planning on making her adaptation of Margaret Atwood's book Alias Grace this year (and before that we knew four years ago she was working on the project) but the project has just somehow gotten even awesomer, because American Psycho director Mary Harron has just signed on to direct the whole damn thing! Netflix has the rights to the series, which will be six hours. Now we just have to wait and see what awesome woman they get to star. Do we think Polley might play the lead herself?

---  Spider Beasts - Abraham Attah was so good in Cary Fukunaga's Beasts of No Nation so reading today that he's gotten a gig in the new Spider-man movie is welcome news. No word on who he's playing but my guess is he's a classmate of Tom Holland's Peter Parker, given their age similarity. There are a refreshing number of people of color in the film's cast now - I mean, it is a high school in Queens we're talking about here, it only makes sense! Oh and if you wanna see Holland on set JJ has some pictures. He looks so young, you guys, I gotta try to curb the dirty thoughts this time around. No Spider-bum for us!

--- Giant Read - I've been shit about keeping up with news on Steven Spielberg's film The BFG, which is nonsensical given its one of my favorite directors (shut up, haters) tackling one of my favorite books from my childhood. Anyway the movie's out a week from Friday and there's a really very substantial interview with Spielberg on the film over at Wired that you should read if you give a shit.

--- And Finally earlier I told you, expressed through the gyrations of Ryan Guzman's jockstrap more than in actual words, that Richard Linklater's flick Everybody Wants Some has finally arrived online for your viewing pleasure - well EW has even more for us in the form of a deleted scene that's just chock-full of Tyler Hoechlin in tighty-whities action. Gayest Movie Ever.

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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... enjoying the water-hole with Ryan Guzman.

Richard Linklater's ode to 80s jocks Everybody Wants Some hit the streaming sites yesterday (before hitting blu-ray on July 12th) which means I can finally make up for missing it on a big screen. I mean it's definitely, clearly a shame that I'm seeing such things on a small screen now, such things which were meant for big big screens, but if I press my face against my computer, like I am right now, it somewhat makes up for it. Help me out, Ryan...

I Do Indeed Want Some, It's True

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I hadn't bothered watching the trailer for Richard Linklater's new movie -- Peter Travers at Rolling Stone calls it "Dazed and Confused meets the 80s!" because Peters Travers is a hack who just states facts and gets quoted on movie trailers! - called Everybody Wants Some because 1) Have I mentioned it often enough in the past two days that I am very busy?, and 2) I finally realized with Boyhood, after far too long of trying, that Richard Linklater's movies kind of just aren't for me. His most atypical film Bernie is my favorite; otherwise his genial chatterbox thing tends to bore or grate. Anyway that was all before I read the headline at Vulture that this movie looks like "a gay porn without the sex." I ain't too busy for that! 

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And then I remembered -- oh yeah this is the movie starring Tyler Hoechlin and Glen Powell and Ryan Guzman and a bunch of other very attractive young actors. Damn you, Richard Linklater! You sucked me in again. What do you guys think? And hit the jump for a few more caps from the certifiably Catalina-ish trailer (with lots of Tyler Hoechlin in short shorts, yo)...
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Good Morning, Gratuitous Ryan Guzman

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It's the 28th birthday of the Channing Tatum heir apparent Ryan Guzman - model check, dancer check, abs for days check. I do feel as I'm belittling Chan's charisma and actual talent a bit with this reduction to poppin' lockin' body parts, but then I haven't actually ever seen Mr. Guzman in anything! I think his turn in the new Heroes series will probably mark our first rendezvous. 

(Click here for previous Ryan Guzman posts.) But for those of you who have seen Mr. Guzman's talents in, ahem, motion, how's he fare? Is he just a pretty pretty block of hippity-hoppity or what? And hit the jump for more of the pretty pretty...

Ryan Guzman Four Times

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(via)

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Ryan Guzman Two Times

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(click to embiggen)

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Ryan Guzman's Garbage Movie

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So strong's my dislike for Jennifer Lopez that I've so far denied myself the camp pleasure of one of my favorite genres of all the genres - the cheesy sex stalker thriller, that is, and her godawful looking (but probably highly entertaining anyway) The Boy Next Door. That's the boy in question Ryan Guzman above, getting naked for cancer or something - you don't have to be so noble about your hot ass, Ryan. Just show it. We won't judge you.

(ETA Here's Ryan's naked scene in the movie.) Anyway the other day I watched the clip from the movie involving a "first edition of The Iliad" and I've totally changed my mind - I have got to see The Boy Next Door and I've got to see it soon. Any of you seen it? I mean I totally loved the shit out of Idris Elba and Taraji P. Henson in No Good Deed, so I'm clearly a garbage-person anyway and should only watch garbage-people-movies from now on.