The Lifetime Sexy Psychopath Hour

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I share this trailer for the new Lifetime series You mostly out of a sense of duty - it stars one-time Gossip Girl paramour Penn Badgley as an apparently psychotic book-shop owner! - than I do enthusiasm - it is a Lifetime psycho boyfriend show, of which there have been too many, and it's been a long time since Gossip Girl, Penn. 

But honestly there are moments in between the pablum in this trailer that stick out - maybe it's self-aware and funny? I mean Lifetime did after all recently give us UnREAL, a wonderfully trashy but occasionally more-than-that show that I am one hundred percent addicted to. UnREAL... and speaking of, sidenote: I am so into the bisexual Russian Coke-whore Alexi (Alex Sparrow) this season:

Aaaaaanyway You was co-written by Love Simon director Greg Berlanti which means it's probably akin to his superhero shows on the CW, none of which I can be bothered with. So this is a toss-up for me. What do y'all think? Could it be the new Revenge? That's the best possible outcome. (I miss Revenge so much.)

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Good Morning, World

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If there's just one thing that I miss about Revenge (there are actually several, but let's say there's just one for this post's sake) it's how they made Jack (Nick Wechsler) become a cop solely so they could build a police station locker-room set and from there on out have all of the cop business be conducted while someone is going to or coming from the group showers. Revenge knew how to do it! A happy 37th birthday to Wechsler today -- see more of him here.

Today's Mood

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I guess you could say today's mood can be summed up in the word "hateful" because I am all the fuck about the first trailer for Quentin Tarantino's The Hateful Eight, which has finally found its way onto this here internet. And I am all about the eensy glimpses we get of whatever Jennifer Jason Leigh is doing in there, most of all! The ghost of her sad lifeless performance on TV's Revenge a couple of years ago is long gone. (I feared we'd lost JJL, she was so dead-eyed on that show.) Watch the trailer yourself right here:

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What are y'all's thoughts?
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Never Forget Nick

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With Revenge ending its run this past Sunday its actors are out looking for their next jobs, and I have to say that Nick Wechsler is going about it in fine form. Emphasis on fine, and form. I'll hire you, Nick! See the earlier even-more-naked picture from this Cosmo shoot here. And click here for an equally fine photo-shoot from last year.

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Good Morning, World

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I just checked IMDb to see what Steven Strait, who's turning 29 today, has been up to since Magic City stopped being around to flaunt his astonishing half-nakedness every chance it got, and was surprised to see he was apparently on a couple of episodes of the ABC soap Revenge - I, like a crazy person who doesn't know when to put down the pipe, have continued watching Revenge well past when anybody should be watching Revenge, and I don't remember him being on it at all. Any other lunatics out there still watching Revenge that can tell me who he plated? IMDb says he was named "Brooks" but haven't there been at least seven characters named "Brooks" on Revenge by now? Male and Female.

Good Morning, World

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Good morning, Daniel Grayson! A happy birthday to Revenge's Josh Bowman, who is turning a whopping twenty-six years old today. Not to be mean to him on his birthday but maybe somebody will gift him with acting lessons today and we can do this thing right? Aww it's okay Josh, you are lovely to look at. And in real life you've got a British accent so I think you're doing okay. That's all it takes in the world right? A six-pack and the ability to take tea properly? Don't dash my dreams, people. Alright my rambling's done (for the moment) - hit the jump for several more shots of Daniel I mean Josh doing what he does... that is, walk from one shirtless scene to another shirtless scene with relative human-like ability.

Nick Wechsler Nine Times

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(via)

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Barry Sloane One Time

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I'm far from the world's greatest photo-shopper (I am definitely closer to the title of The World's Worst, really) but I never let any of my many, many, many failings stop me when I see injustice, and the original version of this picture, with Cosmo's giant blocks of type and nonsense distracting from the sight of Barry Sloane in a towel, is about as big an injustice as has ever been perpetrated upon mankind. So I did what I could. You can see the version with all Cosmo's type included, unmutilated by my "mad skillz," at this link though. Anyway how ridiculous was Revenge's sexual exploitation of Barry this season? I have never seen anyone take as many showers or go swimming so much in all my life. And it was weirdly always opposite Victoria, so Madeleine Stowe kept being forced to pretend she wasn't ogling his business. Stowe can do a lot with her beautiful steam-pressed face, but that was too much to ask of even her.

Josh Bowman One Time

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Yea though I walk through the Valley of Revenge, I will fear no Bowman. He maketh me to lie down in furry pastures, he leadeth me beside the unzipped zipper - he restoreth my soul. (via)

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Josh Bowman Has A Beard

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(via) Damn you, Emily VanCamp! Here's where I glare at her from across the room, slowly slink over to where she stands, and purr "I will destroy you" into her ear as I grab a champagne flute from a passing waiter.

Good Morning, World

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I know I always try to have some pretense of these actually being morning-related - Hey look it's a hot guy in a bed! Hey look it's a hot guy in the shower! Hey look it's a hot guy eating Fruit Loops! - and this picture of Connor Paolo doesn't meet those measly expectations even in the slightest... but it is striking me as a really really funny picture right now so I don't really give a damn. Happy 23, Connor!

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I'll Never Let Go, Lisa P

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I'll never let go.

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I Am Link

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--- Turing's Tale - Benedict Cumberbatch is going to play Alan Turing, the mathematician turned code-breaker in WWII who should have been hailed as a war hero but instead got arrested for being gay, and was chemically castrated by the government. Two years later he killed himself with cyanide. So, you know, a happy story! Definitely one that's overdue being told, though.

 

--- Stripper Seconds - Matthew McConaughey says that he thinks a Magic Mike sequel is still in the works, but it might be a little while since Channing Tatum's taking off some time what with his wife being pregnant.Why do I feel like this movie won't happen? Please guys, prove me wrong.

--- Dead Wood - Looks as if Guillermo Del Toro's stop-motion Pinocchio is dead as a boy-donkey - the co-director tweeted that it doesn't seem to be the right time for the dark take on the material that they wanted to go for. It's always the right time for that, dumb Hollywood execs.

--- A Rim For Rian - Speaking of Del Toro, there are a couple new pictures from Pacific Rim over here, most enticingly of Charlie Hunnam in his weird tight cod-pieced robot outfit. I approve! So does director Rian Johnson, who says the movie will make us all pee our collective pants.

--- Hello Copter - Nifty movie nugget of the day - here's Stanley Kubrick's camera operator for The Shining talking about that shot at the start of the movie where you see the shadow of the helicopter, which has become a thing thanks to the weird spazzes who spazz over Kubrick so thoroughly.

--- Devil's Return - When The House of the Devil came out, star Jocelin Donahue sort of got ignored since we were all so busy falling in love with Greta Gerwig, but I thought she was great too, so I'm happy to hear she's joined the cast of the second Insidious movie - she's playing the young version of Barbara Hershey's character, so I guess we're getting some backstory.
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--- Hero's Lady - Revenge star Emily VanCamp has won the lead chick role in the Captain America sequel - because she isn't fortunate enough in real life to get to mash her face on Josh Bowman, now she gets to push herself up on Chris Evans as Cappy. Damn you, woman! Seriously though, I like her, so this will be nifty.
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--- This Is Crappy - That's it, I give the fuck up on Judd Apatow (as a director, at least - he can keep on producing stuff like Girls) - he wants to make a third film in his increasingly unbearable Knocked Up / This is 40 series, which would follow the daughters, aka his own two daughters, some years later. UGH times a million. He is so far up his own ass he doesn't even know it. I will not be seeing that movie.

--- Rock Chicks - Toni Collette and Broadway sensation Nina Arianda are starring in a comedy about a rock journalist (Collette) who is chasing down her musician ex-boyfriend (played by Thomas Haden Church) for a story. Arianda plays Toni's bff.

--- There For Brad - I've been so busy hating the trailer for The Call (that Halle Berry is a 911 operator movie) that I've totally missed the fact that it's directed by the super talented Brad Anderson - he made Session 9 and The Machinist. Ugh, it looks awful, and the trailer is the entire movie, but now I'll have to see it on DVD at least.

ETA Oh and you must read this lovely little piece on the movies of Wes Anderson from the writer Michael Chabon. It's wise to Wes and what makes him so tremendously special.

I Am Link

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--- Faerie Man - Because what True Blood has really been missing is a fella sniffing at Sookie's magical vagina, the first bit of casting news for the next season is for her latest love interest: British actor Rob Kazinsky will play a faerie who helps her figure out the mystery of her parents death. Hey we did a gratuitous post for this dude way back in July! He's also in Pacific Rim, you see. We are so on top of what's hip in hotness, y'all.

--- And Speaking of hot British pieces, Game of Thrones actor Kit Harington - you know nothing, Jon Snow! - is in talks to play the lead in Paul W. S. Anderson's movie about Pompeii, which will of course use the devastating real life tragedy for the backdrop of CG lava and slave love stories. Oh I know, suddenly we're all moral about this shit, or whatever.

--- Daddy Dearest - Nip/Tuck's Dylan Walsh is going to play a business rival for Conrad on Revenge. I would watch him and Henry Czerny make out, is my point.
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--- Power House - A couple of new trailers over at The Playlist that I have not watched yet - here's a second one for Sam Raimi's Oz, The Great and Powerful, which cannot get here soon enough; and here's the first look at House of Cards, that series that David Fincher produced for Netflix starring Kevin Spacey.

--- Deep Impression - I also haven't yet watched the new trailer for The Canyons, that flick starring Lindsay Lohan and porn star James Deen, from writer Bret Easton Ellis and director Paul Schrader - it's Schrader's name that's keeping me the most curious in this trainwreck-in-the-making; his movies are always interesting, at least. Alright alright I don't mind looking at Deen either.

--- Tex-arcana Terror - As I read thru this review of The Town That Dreaded Sundown over at Stale Popcorn I knew I was going to link to it and mention how precisely Glenn and I agreed, but then I got to the end of the review and saw that Glenn did that for me already.
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--- Chris Mass - Chris Hemsworth is going to star in the directorial debut from the writer of Traffic, and look at this list of names mentioned: "The project has had Brad Pitt, Denzel Washington, Jamie Foxx and Christoph Waltz all circling or being offered roles with Christian Bale, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, and Bradley Cooper all on the wishlist as well, if their first choices pass on the gig." Sounds crowded. Hemsworth is also maybe going to play Steve McQueen? Or is it his brother? That link isn't clear.

--- Spidey Re Suited - Director Marc Webb says that they're changing the eyes and web shooters for Spider-Man's costume in the second film - hey as long as they leave what matters most alone, I don't give a shit.

--- Stand Up - I only made it about a quarter of the way through this rambling interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger on the set of The Last Stand, his movie with I Saw the Devil director Kim Jee-woon, but maybe you'll fare better. I only mention it because have you seen the trailer for the movie yet? I think it looks like a lot of fun.

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Pic of the Day

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Oh my god oh my god oh my god! Adrienne Barbeau

as Victoria's mother on Revenge first look!
Straight up soapy cougar goodness!

Gay horror-nerd freak-out happening! (via)

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I Have Been Wanting...

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... to post this all day long, but it's spoilery. No not that shot above. The shot I am putting after the jump, because it is spoilery. So if you haven't watched last night's episode of Revenge, and you will watch it or want to eventually, don't click through. Otherwise have at it, because lord it's the best thing I will see this year.

Josh Bowman Five Times

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Two more days until a new episode of Revenge!

Speaking of, since I never posted these...

Barbeau's Revenge

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This is one of those moments when I briefly consider that the universe is doling out personalized gifts for something I did in a past life and then I remember oh wait I don't believe any of that jazz but all the same, wowza! Via TV Line:

"Now we know where Revenge‘s Victoria got those cheekbones (and a few other assets) from. The ABC drama has cast ’70s sex symbol and Maude alum Adrienne Barbeau as Victoria’s mother, sources confirm to TVLine exclusively.

The voluptuous veteran actress, who portrayed Maude’s daughter Carol on the groundbreaking sitcom, will play Mama Harper – ”somebody who knows how to use people,” Revenge executive producer Mike Kelley tells TVLine. “She taught Victoria what it takes to survive with very little, with your wit and your looks, really.”

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First things, the second season of Revenge has been wonderful already, hasn't it? I was cackling like a loon watching it the other night. It's one of those shows that every time a commercial break I am convinced the hour's already passed, so much has already happened, and I look at the clock and there's still twenty more minutes - twenty more delicious minutes! And now this! Adrienne Barbeau! Be still my heart, or you know, my heaving chestal region, in honor of her.

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Vicky & Carrie Sittin' In A Tree

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Two of the shows highest on my current obsession list are back this weekend for their highly anticipated second seasons, huzzah! The sordid twisty and deliciously soapy tale of the Hampton Graysons called Revenge is back on ABC at 9pm on Sunday. 

And then at 10pm on Showtime is the return of Crazy Carrie in the, uh, sordid twisty and slightly less deliciously soapy but still pretty soapy while simultaneously maintaining an air of political seriousness all the same tale called Homeland. Double huzzah! (ETA if you need a spoilery recap of Homeland's first season, something I just found tremendously useful, read Sean T. Collins' over at Rolling Stone.)

Will you be watching?

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All Hail Queen Victoria

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The first season of the sudsy Long Island socialite TV drama Revenge is out on DVD today, so y'all can catch up with us hep cats who've already plowed through the whole thing, or if you're a hep cat who already plowed through you can plow through all over again, whatever. Point being, this show's a hoot and a holler and I'm jonesing for the second season right hard. (The plane! The plane!) Here's a "bonus scene" off of the DVD featuring my beloved Margarita "Lisa P" Levieva...

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