HAPPY NATIONAL CHEESEBURGER DAY!

A monster burger hot off the grill by yours truly! Blue Cheese dressing -- the cheddar's in there somewhere.

IT'S TIME TO TRICK OR TREAT -- HERE'S YOUR BAG, AND HAVE FUN!

GREAT MOMENTS OF HORROR

From MAD MAGAZINE NO. 53

[Illustration by Wallace Wood]

ADS WE'D LIKE TO SEE WHILE WATCHING ZOMBIE FLICKS

I'm in a weird mood today . . .

KOSHER CRACKED MONSTERS?

I came across these cover images and stopped short. Don't some of the cover titles look like the kind typically used for Jewish or Yiddish-style fonts? Maybe this will be lost on the greater MONSTER MAGAZINE WORLD reading audience, but I can't help commenting on it.

You see, I have yet another confession to make. I'm what's known as a "fontaholic". I don't believe there's a cure for this, but frankly, I don't think one is necessary. So, please no font-addict interventions.

[From CRACKED COLLECTOR'S EDITION MONSTERS July, 1984]

WEIRD, WEIRD WORLD: CURSES! TAXED AGAIN!

January 08, 2011
Curses! Romania's witches forced to pay income tax
By Associated Press

MOGOSOIA, Romania (AP) — Everyone curses the tax man, but Romanian witches angry about having to pay up for the first time are planning to use cat excrement and dead dogs to cast spells on the president and government.

Also among Romania's newest taxpayers are fortune tellers — but they probably should have seen it coming.

Superstitions are no laughing matter in Romania — the land of the medieval ruler who inspired the "Dracula" tale — and have been part of its culture for centuries. President Traian Basescu and his aides have been known to wear purple on certain days, supposedly to ward off evil.

Romanian witches from the east and west will head to the southern plains and the Danube River on Thursday to threaten the government with spells and spirits because of the tax law, which came into effect Jan. 1.

A dozen witches will hurl the poisonous mandrake plant into the Danube to put a hex on government officials "so evil will befall them," said a witch named Alisia. She identified herself with one name — customary among Romania's witches.

"This law is foolish. What is there to tax, when we hardly earn anything?" she said by telephone Wednesday. "The lawmakers don't look at themselves, at how much they make, their tricks; they steal and they come to us asking us to put spells on their enemies."

The new law is part of the government's drive to collect more revenue and crack down on tax evasion in a country that is in recession.

In the past, the less mainstream professions of witch, astrologer and fortune teller were not listed in the Romanian labor code, as were those of embalmer, valet and driving instructor. Those who worked those jobs used their lack of registration to evade paying income tax.

Under the new law, like any self–employed person, they will pay 16 percent income tax and make contributions to health and pension programs.

Some argue the law will be hard to enforce, as the payments to witches and astrologers usually are made in cash and relatively small at 20 to 30 lei ($7–$10) per consultation.

Mircea Geoana, who lost the presidential race to Basescu in 2009, performed poorly during a crucial debate, and his camp blamed attacks of negative energy by their opponent's aides.

Geoana aide Viorel Hrebenciuc alleged there was a "violet flame" conspiracy during the campaign, saying Basescu and other aides dressed in purple on Thursdays to increase his chance of victory. They continue to be seen wearing purple clothing on important days, because the color supposedly makes the wearer superior and wards off evil.

Such spiritualism has long been tolerated by the Orthodox Church in Romania, and the late Communist dictator Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife, Elena, had their own personal witch.

Queen witch Bratara Buzea, 63, who was imprisoned in 1977 for witchcraft under Ceausescu's repressive regime, is furious about the new law.

Sitting cross–legged in her villa in the lake resort of Mogosoaia, just north of Bucharest, she said Wednesday she planned to cast a spell using a particularly effective concoction of cat excrement and a dead dog, along with a chorus of witches.

"We do harm to those who harm us," she said. "They want to take the country out of this crisis using us? They should get us out of the crisis because they brought us into it."

"My curses always work!" she cackled in a smoky voice. She sat next to her wood–burning stove, surrounded by potions, charms, holy water and ceramic pots.

Not every witch is threatening fire and brimstone.

"This law is very good," said Mihaela Minca. "It means that our magic gifts are recognized and I can open my own practice."

 

HAPPY NEW FEAR FROM MONSTER MAGAZINE WORLD!

BE SURE TO DRINK RESPONSIBLY.

HOLIDAY RECIPIES FROM THE CANNIBAL COOKBOOK

Entertaining for the holidays? Cooking, too, and not sure what to throw in the cauldron besides the toil and trouble and burn and the bubble? Well, MONSTER MAGAZINE WORLD is here to help! Why not put the Emeril's Essence back on the spice rack and try one or two of the recipies offered here -- right out of the pages of 3-D MONSTERS (FAIR Publications, 1964). They were good enough back then -- why not now? Come to think of it, I've got a hankerin' myself for a nice bowl of sufferin' succotash. And the roast mad dog ain't bad, neither. Y'all eat hardy now (that poor guy)!

WHY SASQUATCH HAS NEVER BEEN FOUND

MYSTERY LINES DAY 2: ANSWERS

Well, how well do you think you fared, fellow Monsterologists? As promised, here are the answers to the FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND "Mystery Lines". No prizes awarded here, but thanks for playing!

MYSTERY LINES DAY 1: QUESTIONS

Do you have a brain from the planet Arous? Are you a creature with an atom brain? Or are you just one of those claw-draggin', mouth-slavering brain eaters? Now's the time to test your gray matter and see just how good of a Monsterologist you are, bub! Questions are today, answers will appear in tomorrow's MONSTER MAGAZINE WORLD. ["Mystery Lines" page from FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND #23, June 1963]

HORROR IN ADVERTISING

I'm in a weird mood today. . . Does anybody remember the blue twist ties coming with the product?

EVERETT COMICS: THE HORROR TABLE

I've told you that EVERETT COMICS in beautiful downtown Everett, in the Evergreen State of Washington, is my preferred neighborhood independent comic shop dealer. Newly-retired Charlie, his charming spouse and store decorator, Tracy, and the guy whose job I wish I had if it only paid a little better, Brandon, store manager, all make for a unique and wonderful shopping experience. They are also only too eager to divest me of my hard-earned bucks on a painfully regular basis. But, if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have some of the stuff that I share with you all here at MONSTER MAGAZINE WORLD.

Since the overnight success of the suddenly hip zombie cable TV series THE WALKING DEAD (another successful adaptation from a comic book), the folks at EVERETT COMICS have responded in kind with a special store section that we have dubbed "The Horror Table". Included with the comics is a box of Warren Pubs back issues. Looking for something special? Try contacting EVERETT COMICS!

Photography by Brandon

BLACK FRIDAY AT MONSTER MAGAZINE WORLD

That's right. MONSTER MAGAZINE WORLD has its own BLACK FRIDAY and two of Horrorwood's finest actors run the show at this gore store. Need a brain transplant? They've got 'em cheap!  Check out the action in the "Vid Clips" tab under this blog's main title.

IN THE NEWS: LUGOSI PARDONS THANKSGIVING TURKEY

Quoth the turkey . . . "nevermore"!

HAPPY THANKSGRAVING

Hope you have plenty of meat on your bird. . .

MONSTER CARD MONDAY

MONSTER CARD MONDAY

MONSTER CARD MONDAY

Here is my fourth in the Halloween "Month of Mondays" offering from the YOU'LL DIE LAUGHING series of monster trading cards. I hope you enjoyed them. As an extra-special bonus, I've added an image from the very pricey series of stickers from the first set of "Spook Stories" cards. All these images are a part of my personal collection.

MAKE YOUR OWN HALLOWEEN MASK!

It's one minute to midnight and you don't have a thing to wear to the MYSTERIOUS MANSION'S Halloween Ball. Well, fret not, fellow fearmeisters -- just throw on your denim workshirt, a pair of grey slacks, and the mask provided for you below. And, don't worry about the wearing any shoes. If the moon's right, you won't be needing them.

P.S. A word of caution. Please cut along the dotted lines before you put the mask on.

Images from TALES CALCULATED TO DRIVE YOU BATS (Archie Comics, Nov. 1961). Illustrated by Orlando Busino.