An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

Business is slow, spotty at best. I have a contract so monetarily it is still going ok but that doesn't mean it will continue that way. The end of the year and the new contract is coming soon. I cannot help but wonder if the future is going to have some changes that will affect ours lives in a negative way. This city we live in is far from affordable. That being said, I am breathing and trying not to borrowing trouble. If I make myself sick over possible changes, I steal from this moment that is mine to enjoy. Nothing is wrong right now....this very moment. It's hard for me to know the difference between living in the moment, acceptance and being an ostrich. This is a road I haven't travelled before.  Breathe Linda...breathe. Find your Invincible Summer. It's in there. Deep breath in, blow slowly out. Notice the knot in your stomach. You don't have to act or try to get rid of it, all you need to do is notice it is there. Remember, you are ok right now.

I've operated my business for close to 30 years. In most of that time, I also remained attached to a 501c ( a religious organization) called Epic Ministries, where I kept the books. It worked out well. They got an accountant and I got free office space and the company of young, fun and committed co-workers, plus health insurance. I followed Epic to 3 different locations, worked through the death of the wonderful young CEO, watched numerous transformations and changes in trajectories. All the while, meeting fabulous people and building friendships. That ended last year. They closed up shop and I went and found myself cheap office space and very expensive health insurance. It's a decent building with about 30 other little offices. I haven't met a whole lot of people here since I keep different hours than most but I recognize and exchange pleasantries with quite a few.  Over the past 12 weeks the offices have slowly cleared out. COVID has made itself know here. The 3 architect...

I love being in business. I love that my business has flourished over the years and that it has allowed me to grow, be challenged and have tremendous flexibility. I enjoy what I do for the most part but am not a believer in the whole "We must love and be passionate about what we do to be successful" idea. I think that is similar to the BIG lie they taught us girls in the 70's and 80's....that we could have it all. We couldn't have it all. Most of us got by just barely and dealt with the guilt of knowing that we could have done some of it...the housework, job, raising kids and being a partner....much better if only we weren't spread as thin as a rail. I am not "passionate" about my job but I am responsible and do it well. All that being said, I get tired. I get tired of being responsible for just about everything, for every decision, for the future. Today I am tired. That's today and tomorrow will be better. Do you ever get tired of...

When I was 21 years, being just off of a dog grooming stint, I decided to go in another direction (daily dog hair in places where dog hair doesn't belong convinced me). A company hired me as a multi-state payroll clerk. Previously I held a job at Security Pacific Bank (anyone out there old enough to remember that one?) where, despite my fancy title, I mostly inserted completed payroll checks into shipping bags and made sure they were delivered to customers in a timely manner. That title, along with some creative resume writing, got me a job in this family run company that owned and, or operated 27 locations in 9 different states. The job kept me on my toes, educated me well and, through a series of unforeseen events, I became the office manager in a few years. After seven years at this company there was an opportunity to start a side business, completely supported by my employer. That side business grew until I went out on my own, my former employer becoming my main cli...