An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

 ***** LANGUAGE ALERT****** If'n you are easily or not so easily offended, you may want to skip this blog post.  Boy Scout felt strongly about purchasing wood for the fireplace. He had only a couple of "must have's" for our new home and a fireplace was one. I didn't give a whit. I find them to be dirty and smelly. He lucked out. The new place has one and the following is my secondhand recap of his wood buying experience. He gets directions from a few people as to where he can find "Paul". Pointing lower and lower, they tell him to go down to the house. Venturing further until he finds it, the stereotypical homestead of the good ole boy. There are shells of cars, empty campers rusting out, tires and debris of every kind littering the property. Knocking on the door, he spies a very young woman cleaning near the window. She beckons him in. The house is somewhat of a hoarders house...it's bad. She points him to the room where Paul is sitting. He's in...

The Boy Scout and my youngest had what would have been called, at best, a complex relationship, and at worst, Like/Hate would be a good description. The big man, with the big personality, came into our little house and upended life. I was not really ready to have him move in but that is another story entirely. He brought with him way too much stuff for 980 sq ft along with two rather large, rather smelly dogs that were aloof to intolerant much of the time.  Alone, when it was just he and I, he was good but for others he frequently put on his "Tommy Suit" (the name I gave the personality that popped up and often offended people). My girl and he would butt heads and, for the most part, she just pretended like he wasn't there. He resented her presence in the kitchen, which he quickly took over after moving in. Maybe less her presence and more the debris left after her visit. Over time they found a tolerable truce. He decided one day to just do the dishes that were left and s...

To all people who hate Jews: If the Jews have been trying to take over the country for the last 100 years like I have often heard you say, they've done it quite ineptly therefore you can set aside your fears and now know they are not a threat... Otherwise, they are just trying to live their lives like everyone else and you've spent your emotional energy and deep soul value on hating someone who has no power to hurt you and probably does not know you exist. They/we just want to live, raise families, work and be free in this country like everyone else. They/we are the rest of us. Ditto for people of color Ditto for LGBTQ people Ditto for women Ditto for anyone you choose to hate for NO GOOD REASON Why not try another way of life. Why not try to be happy and not hate, not fear, not tear your soul up one microscopic particle by particle and try some love. Signed..... proud Snowflake.

I had something interesting happen the other day and I thought I’d share it. While perusing Facebook, I came across this from an old friend: At first I was angry as piss but then I remembered a few things about this guy and decided to send this: And later this showed up: I was happy I reached out and built a bridge instead of burning it. It’s been a good lesson for me. We can so easily forget each other’s humanity and there are some people who will bank on that and use it for their own benefit but I think there’s a better way.  I’m going to leave you with this.  

This morning, on my walk, I was remembering the complete paralyzing fear I had in those initial days.  I was drowning in it, unable to stop the recording in my head. Witnessing the pain of my poor children as the SWAT team lead my Secret Keeper away, the loss of a good portion of our income and our health insurance, possible loss of my home, dealing with a sick, scary person, the alienation of valued friends, the costs of the impending medical bills, being alone. And then a jolt of shock! I don't live in that place anymore. Those memories have lost their power. The rest of the walk was spent recognizing the beauty around me and the gift of another wonderful day. The dread and anger and hate have all slowly ebbed; replaced by empowerment, understanding and empathy.  Not completely but for the most part. The fear is the hardest part because, as an ACA, it is a part of my very nature, deeply ingrained. But awareness is half the battle because you don't know what you don...