An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

For years I sought out the morning quiet without even knowing I was doing so.  Remembering the feeling of annoyance for that infant, whichever infant,  waking earlier than they were suppose to, infringing upon the moments of morning solitude  that my body would seek; no alarm needed. That desire magnified when we left that big house that gave me space I needed, and found ourselves in 900 sq ft. Me and two young adults. There was no corner to retreat to, no place that wouldn’t disturb the other occupants  of that house that smothered me; but only in the mornings That’s when I took to the car, where I would watch the new day begin, where I could listen, in a volume suited for my ears, to the poets and preachers, the guides, that promised to help me convert my turmoil into peace, my anger into grace. They’ve kept their promise, or rather I did, with their help.  Now, I’m looking for a place inside this house, a corner of quiet,  an early retreat, where I can f...

I rent a small office in a building that houses a total of 50 offices of various sizes. It also included a fully equipped kitchen, a small gym and a number of bathrooms. I've grown to like it. The rent is reasonable, a cleaning crew cleans nightly and it is maintain pretty well. Being an early riser, I get to work anywhere from 5:00 to 6:00 am. It's kind of lovely as this place is absolutely dead quiet when I arrive. No bleary eyed good mornings or grumpy grunts, just little ole me. What surprises me is that after I have been here 3 hours, I can go walk around and realized that it is still empty! People don't come to work at 8:00 here. They start trickling in around 9:00 and the parking lot is full by 10:00. I love getting in, getting out and getting on with my day or early evening. Not so much the people I co-toil with. They more meander. Are you a get-it-done and go type, or do you meander?

I'm conflicted. I feel upheaval and anxiety and my gut tells me to react. I'm working my program. I do not have to resolve. I do not have to speak up. I do not have to fix. I can sit quiet. I can trust in a God that is in control. I can breathe and wait. I'm ok.