An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

My first blog post was on September 21st 2014. Thirteen months have past since that post. Fifteen months since my Secret Keepers walls fell in on him. Never in a million years would I have believed I would be grateful but I am. Grateful that I am out of such an unhappy situation. Thankful for the new doors God has opened. There was love but we were such a mess. The downward spiral happened so slowly; you don't even realize how warped it is until you have a chance to look back at it from a new perspective. Once all was found out and once he was tucked far away in rehab, desperation and fear were the feelings that controlled  my thoughts and actions. How I wish I knew then what I know now. I think about the Bob D Alcoholics Anonymous speaker tape when he talks about the man who has a number of different things happen to him that the world construes as either bad or good. This wise man sits back and accepts but does not judge and in the end, some of the good turns to sorrow and...

A few days have passed since I last blogged.  I would love to think that's because I am busy living life and healing and being positive.  I was busy trying. Bringing out Xmas boxes, while necessary, was hard. As was attempting to string hundreds of light strands in the yard alone.  Well not completely alone. I had a little help but her lack of opposable thumbs was much less a hindrance than the unexpected and much needed rain that lightly misted me for awhile. Eventually the rain decided it was serious; at which time, all of us (moist boxes, two cats, one dog and a frizzy haired woman) made a mad dash for cover. Escaping from the turmoil in my head, the car and I headed over to a "Meetup" that was suppose to be a movie and dinner with 14 strangers. My car and I sat in the parking lot and waffled back and forth. Finally the car won and drove away with me in it. NO movie and NO dinner. That's OK. It's not a failure....it's just life right now and it ...

Albert Camus seemed to know me when he wrote this; In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me , an invincible love. In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile. In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm. I realized, through it all, that… In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back . I don't know about you but this has always been inside me.  I have always known I would land on my feet. What I did not know was how much I would need to count on the wisdom and love of the people around me. I am so incredibly blessed. God has placed in my life; listeners, encouragers, cheerleaders, admonishers, realists and comforters. They listened when I could barely speak. They spoke and I tried to listen, consid...