A little kindness
The first sign that the holidays are going to be harder than I thought came today. My sweet girl ruefully asked if we could get the fall boxes out of the attic. Already having missed Halloween, I agreed. Digging those boxes out had never my job, my "secret keeper" routinely did this task without even being asked. Except for the last few years, he always seemed to love the holidays more than me. Venturing into his garage, awkwardly pulling out his very tall ladder, I made my way up. Boxes arranged yearly by him, I had scarcely an idea where to look. Moving a few boxes here and there, noticing that each one bares his horrible penmanship, I lost heart and a deep ache started somewhere in my stomach and it grew, squeezing my breath. Truthfully, I feel so selfish. I want things to feel as normal as possible. Nothing is normal, dreams are gone, promises are broken and I'm a bit consumed with my loneliness. I miss the feeling of someone lovingly touching skin. I miss sharin...