An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

LOVE YOURSELF......they are just words. They have no influence, no power. But learning to truly love yourself is life changing. Not in the narcissistic, self indulgent way. It's not feeding yourself to feel good, not buying something for yourself because you deserve it, and certainly not being selfish.  It's way different. I am going to describe it, for me, even though you may well have it. I am only learning...taking baby steps. I compare self love to the love I have for my children. It is completely unconditional. It loves them just as they are and it wants the best for them. My love for my kids sits and waits for them to come to their own realization of growth and maturity, it allows them their bumps and falls and then it tells them it'll be ok.  Imagine giving yourself that complete, unconditional love every day. Looking in the mirror and saying, "Good morning, I love you so much". Not critiquing the wrinkles or zits. I never look at my kids faces to ...

Dog park today and a moment of touching another soul. Saw a gal with a black mini poodle. She was like a nervous mom. Eventually I walked over and told her how my first dog love was a poodle and how much it looked like hers. Funny how poodles always look female to me. This one, Dice, was a little gift from heaven. The woman said she was going for a walk one day and spotted a dog in someone's backyard. She said hello and connected. She walked by, day after day, until she finally stopped herself, believing these poor people thought they must have a stalker. Meanwhile, she has told all her friends that she found her dog....it just lived with someone else. One day, she spots a dog running by the railroad tracks and recognized him. She nabs him and returns him to the owners house, at which point they thank her profusely and then proceed to ask her if she knew of anyone who wanted a dog. The next day, on her recently passed brothers birthday, she gets her dog. Or rather, Dice come...

My youngest and I went to coffee last night. We chit chatted about light stuff....this and that....nothing too important. And then I did it, FINALLY. I have been meaning to talk to her for a good long time but didn't have the opportunity or, perhaps, the courage. Before my life started over, while we were still deep within the craziness, I got a call from Jen. Jen was the assistant youth pastor at the church my little one attended. My girl was probably about 13, Jen was maybe 19. The two of them had built a friendship and Jen seemed to be a positive influence in my girl's life. She called me very upset, needed to come and speak to me and the Secret Keeper. I tried to talk to her on the phone but she was insistent. We made arrangements and Jen showed up at the appointed hour. We all sat in the living room in the house that held my heart, my girl looking incredibly uncomfortable, and got to the issue at hand. Jen informed us that my girl had confided in her that years ...

Memories I cherish. Middle and high school was not especially happy for me. We were dealing with the abandonment by our father, were fairly poor, had to leave the only home I had ever known and found ourselves a family of 3 that had once been 8. We did not have a driver until I turned 16 (my mom did not learned to drive until she was 52) and were at the mercy of family members to get us to wherever the bus would not. For quite awhile, my poor mother would take 3 buses to work at a fire restoration company. She would get a group of workers together, go to a home that had had a fire, then she and her team would pack the house from top to bottom. She basically moved every single day and then took 3 buses home again. Lordy my heart ached for her. She often came home, blackened with ash and soot, then head straight for the bathroom. Once she got settled in the tub, I would come and sit on the pot and we would chat; sometimes a lot and sometimes a little, depending on how tired she was....