An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

I have tried to live life safely. Stemming from a childhood where I felt very unsafe, it has been near the top of my list in most situations. I remember making a decision, at 12 or 13, to not allow others to put me in unsafe situations. A childish fantasy of self determination.  Living life safely easily eliminates the use of alcohol and drugs. Never even thought to give them a try. Truthfully, I got tipsy and stoned for the first time somewhere around my 52nd year....not at the same time. While it may have been fun, it's not a fit for me.  There really is no such thing as safety, but it took me a long time to learn that. I still feel ill at ease in many situations where most people are quite comfortable. I would much rather drive the car than put my trust in someone else. That safe-keeping was blanketed over the kids too. More than likely they were a bit smothered by their scared mother, but it was all I knew. The other day on family Zoom my youngest, who has admitted to taki...

Simple platform: Live and let live and protect those that need protection. Help the poor and downtrodden. Leave Social Security alone. We don't need to have a military that is larger than the next 7 countries COMBINED We don't need ANY automatic or semi-automatic guns in the public AT ALL. Legalize marijuana. Go after dirty drug companies for the deaths of thousand of Americans per year. Once and for all, recognize that Global Warming is happening and do our part. We cannot count on Big Industry or Big Banking to do the right thing. They will not. They need to be regulated. Companies are not people and should not be able to buy our politicans. That is all for now. Have a good day!

I know I got in bed on that Saturday night. I don't know why I bothered. Who in the world could turn their brain off? Honestly it was in the following two months that the idea of using a drug or drinking sounded like bliss. How, even for an hour or two, I could forget everything. But that is not who I am. I did not sleep and sometime in the night I decided to check out a few places that I knew he gravitated towards. I drove around the quiet city realizing how crazy the behavior was. Normal people don't do this. Normal people have dinner, watch TV, dine with friends, visit grandkids, feel happy or lonely, but now are peacefully sleeping. Only crazy people drive around a city and look for someone that doesn't want to be found. Somewhere around 4:30 I found him. He was at his office. I parked and walked around the building, the night air chilling my tense body. I saw him in the window. He was at his desk, clearly agitated. Making phone calls, looking on his computer, repe...

Today I had to get a plumber. Things have been slowly falling apart in my house over the last 4 months. Its an old house with a lot of issues but it's mine and I love it. I had some electrical and plumbing problems, garage door stopped working and pestilence running amok in the garden. These were all things that I really didn't have to think about before, but now, fit squarely in my lap (often being ignored as I plunge my fingers in my ears saying, "NA NA NA NA"). Finally, I called a plumber and he came out and did his job. Afterwards, we talked and I looked him in the eyes and I thought: Are you an honest man? Do you keep secrets? Do you cheat on your wife and tell her you love her? Are you using something "extra" to get you through your day? I find myself doing this with many men I encounter. Looking into the windows of their souls, wondering; are you living a life full of secrets? I hope not for your sake and for the sake of all those who love yo...