An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

Yesterday I talked with the daughter of my estranged brother. I hadn’t spoken to her in 15 years. It was an emotional and heartbreaking call.  That man, who makes it impossible to be in his life, is dying. Barring any tragic accident, he will be the first of the six of us to go. At the ripe ole age of 60. Anger, a two pack a day habit and enough weed to supply a small state has its way of taking its toll.  I am numb. Not sure what I feel. When I think of the little boy that was my childhood companion, my heart squeezes tight and the throat threatens to close up but that boy hasn’t existed for 50 years. He was fearless and reckless. Somewhere, I have a newspaper article of him, on some fancy bike my dad had purchased for him, jumping over 8 of his friends at a park. I think he took my fathers abandonment harder than the rest of us. It damaged us all, installing within us maladaptive life skills, but him far worse. He quickly aligned himself with kids that were getting in troubl...

My sweet mom suffered with ovarian cancer for over 7 years. When I say suffer, I mean suffer. When they first realized she had cancer, it was at a fairly advanced stage, which is not uncommon for ovarian. There are still no really good tests for it. Hers had grown and intersected her colon and bowels. The initial surgery require the removal of all things female and a portion of her intestinal tract. Massive surgery and then chemo followed right away. Sickness and all the things that come with chemo ensued. After that, there were the years of watching numbers go up and down and responding with new rounds of chemo. I think 5 total. All the while, she dealt with horrible bowel issues, weakness, loss of appetite, loss of hearing, chemo brain, recurring hospital trips for bowel blockages or dehydration.  She was nearly killed by an ICU nurse that double her morphine by accident, treated poorly by underpaid, overworked nurses and put up with God like egos from doctors. She also en...