An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

What a perfect weekend!  Saturday golf with a new friend in beautiful Southern California (mid 80's and a light breeze), an art showing right after and a easy Sunday with the farmers market, a little companionable yard work, a fabulous dinner and a Broncos game to top it off. As I am writing this, it is not lost on me that just two 1/2 years ago I was living in utter chaos. I felt trapped, angry and sad most of the time. What a difference a year or two makes. I have to tell you though, it is not just the Boy Scout that has made the difference. He is amazing and I feel incredibly blessed to have him in my life but he did not cause the change. I would not be able to enjoy any of this new life without putting in a lot of hard work in Al-Anon and counseling. The hardest part of remaking my life has been a day in and day out attempt at changing default thinking. The natural tilt I had developed to the negative...the underlying anger and hurt that controlled the way I reacted ...

Super Bowl Sunday.....I was dreading this day more than I can say. I did my self talk, got support from my sister and daughters and changed my attitude but as we drove up to the house my anxiety rose. A huge party with not one person I knew except the Boy Scout was hard. In the best of times, even with people I know, I wouldn't normally accept the invite with that size group.  But the man was super excited (people he loves and his very own Broncos) and my heart desires to please him, so off to the party I went. As we parked, I may have melted down just a bit (or a bit more), but he calmly and quietly talked to me and I mustered my courage. With a promise from the man to not leave me alone without "permission", we entered and I tried to stop thinking about my discomfort and focused on trying to remember names and being friendly and loving the Boy Scout. Not too bad! Still would have rather stayed home but everyone was pretty friendly. It was fun to watch my man in h...